I’m not seeing it
Well, we’re going to have to agree to disagree. Because what you see as a “groping snout of desire”, I see as a partially chewed milk dud on a stick. And the vagina looks more like a spoon that got stuck in the garbage disposal, which says to me that we should eschew modern utensils and just eat Yoplait out of each other’s pee-holes. At least, that’s what I’m getting out of it.
February 2, 2010 at 1:35 pm
So um… top right hand side… the little thing… is that part of the genitalia or meant to represent a brain?!
February 2, 2010 at 1:37 pm
Groping snout of desire yawn barf
Who the hell ‘dreams’ this crapperi up?
Inviting womb? Gee I can’t wait!
February 2, 2010 at 1:38 pm
“Groping Snout of Desire” would be a fantastic name for a band.
February 2, 2010 at 1:38 pm
It’s like one of my worst nightmares: body parts impaled on exposed, protruding rebar.
February 2, 2010 at 1:38 pm
I will be eternally grateful that I am not this artist’s spouse.
February 2, 2010 at 1:38 pm
Clearly, they’re meant to be hung from the ceiling.
February 2, 2010 at 1:39 pm
I feel like I’ve seen this before. Was it on the front page?
February 2, 2010 at 1:41 pm
I wonder how it would go over if I told my husband to get his groping snout of desire away from my fossilized teaspoon because I have a headache from reading that drivel?
February 2, 2010 at 1:41 pm
Wow…$650 for a nose and a unicorn horn attached to one base, and some droopy shell boobs and blunt arrowhead on the other one.
I’ve got some swampland in Florida to sell.
February 2, 2010 at 1:42 pm
Groping snout of desire??? It’s goddarn Pedobear again!!
February 2, 2010 at 1:43 pm
Here we have a prime example of why artists should be required to pass an IQ test before writing about their artwork.
February 2, 2010 at 1:46 pm
The droopy boob fossils look like they’re staring at the “mans johnson”.
February 2, 2010 at 1:46 pm
Oh come on! I thought for sure it represented the big head and the little head.
February 2, 2010 at 1:46 pm
Note this is anouther pile of sssssshit. Note A huge fucked up ideal.
February 2, 2010 at 1:47 pm
#3 Sammy – you are SO right!! it’s now #2 on my “Names for my Band – Had I a Band” list. Right under “Beaker Full of Death”.
February 2, 2010 at 1:48 pm
Ummmm….
Gotta love it when the seller obviously took more time concocting the description than the work itself. In their defense, however, it must have taken a LOT of creative brain power to figure out how this piece of shit could represent anything.
February 2, 2010 at 1:48 pm
“man’s johnson” hahahahhaha…..
those floating breasts look like downturned frightened eyeballs (a theme lately?). My eyeballs are frightened too.
February 2, 2010 at 1:49 pm
are those clam shells for ovaries? ew.
February 2, 2010 at 1:49 pm
I see a coupla coat hooks.
I think I would be dead if I spent $695 on a petrified dog shit penis and mangled spoon vagoo mounted on some granite samples.
February 2, 2010 at 1:50 pm
A craft project combining shit you find on the beach with spoons you steal from Denny’s…
February 2, 2010 at 1:51 pm
I like that she censored herself by saying “johnson”.
I don’t know any artist, especially one working with features of the human body, who wouldn’t use biological terms.
February 2, 2010 at 1:51 pm
Note that Eve was from Hawaii. Note her breasts look like coconut shells. Now who sells those fucked up hula skirts to cover up her spoon vagina.
February 2, 2010 at 1:51 pm
#1 sophiehillartist :
So um… top right hand side… the little thing… is that part of the genitalia or meant to represent a brain?!
Seeing how small it is, it must be the brain of a man.
February 2, 2010 at 1:53 pm
“Mangled Spoon Vagoo” = another excellent band name.
February 2, 2010 at 1:53 pm
Raz as I was typing coconuts you were typing oysters. Bah ahahahahahaaaaa. Now please photshop a hula skirt on her. Note that I will love you more then I already do. Let me know when it is noted and done.
February 2, 2010 at 1:53 pm
Raz- clam shells, oysters
February 2, 2010 at 1:56 pm
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=14181489
These listing descriptions are driving me to drink.
Gotta go…
February 2, 2010 at 2:01 pm
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=14181489
6 grand for an 8 foot stick? And it’s burned at that!
February 2, 2010 at 2:02 pm
NOTE- I don’t think that spoon is big enough to take on that super extra long caterpiller.
February 2, 2010 at 2:04 pm
I can’t beyond the word “johnson”.
February 2, 2010 at 2:05 pm
Blondeweezie, it’s not an 8 foot stick. It’s an 8 foot johnson aka groping snout of desire.
February 2, 2010 at 2:05 pm
filed in “garbage”
hahahahahaha
February 2, 2010 at 2:07 pm
I also instantly thought the brown snout of desire was the man’s brain.
And these will all be songs on the new album by The Skants (which I also think is a great band name).
another fabulous band name is Johnson & Vagoo.
February 2, 2010 at 2:07 pm
man is depicted ERECT!
February 2, 2010 at 2:07 pm
Yeah, I’ve looked through the tops and bottoms of my bifocals, changed to my computer glasses, and I’m not seeing it, either.
February 2, 2010 at 2:09 pm
#31 vergeofsomething :
Blondeweezie, it’s not an 8 foot stick. It’s an 8 foot johnson aka groping snout of desire.
My bad. I thought the description was a “pregnant” stick. Doesn’t look pregnant to me.
February 2, 2010 at 2:09 pm
@myself, #35: Maybe I’m needing VIIAR.
February 2, 2010 at 2:10 pm
omg, i just read it! “A MAN’S JOHNSON”!
February 2, 2010 at 2:10 pm
Is that a trilobite for the female? That’s great, the roach of the Cambrian area represents the vagina.
February 2, 2010 at 2:12 pm
@ #34, Well no shit he’s erect! Have you seen those oysters? RAWR!!!
February 2, 2010 at 2:12 pm
#35- speaking of not seeing things. The Tyra Banks show is running their 5 Women and 10 Vagina’s tommorow. I think if 5 women are telling the World they have two vagina’s it should be mandatory to show us that.
February 2, 2010 at 2:13 pm
Faux Holy shit on sticks, #27, I don’t drink during the day, but today I make an exception…
February 2, 2010 at 2:16 pm
I am concerned about the artist’s sex partner. I mean, assuming he has one. He could just be doing it with the fossils.
February 2, 2010 at 2:19 pm
HK, your description made me LOL at (yes!) work. Maybe with the proper background this piece will make more sense:
http://twitpic.com/112ufk
February 2, 2010 at 2:22 pm
Wow. This really isn’t much of anything, is it? Other than a bunch of crap placed next to each other.
February 2, 2010 at 2:23 pm
I thought that snout thingy was his prostate. I don’t personally have one but that’s how I picture it.
#19 Wilma Fingerdoo:
“I think I would be dead if I spent $695 on a petrified dog shit penis and mangled spoon vagoo mounted on some granite samples.”
Maybe that’s the point, Adam Johnson will kill you then, “For man and woman to experience eternal life they must die in order to become alive in the Garden once again – clean and whole.”
February 2, 2010 at 2:25 pm
And I really do love that they are trying to be all arty and symbolic, yet throw out the phrase “mans johnson” instead of just saying penis.
February 2, 2010 at 2:29 pm
Is this like one of those eye trick Stereograms where you need to stare at it until the image appears?
February 2, 2010 at 2:30 pm
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2804/4325729045_871035e807_o.jpg
Thats all I have to say about that.
February 2, 2010 at 2:30 pm
now that the small child has on Spongebob, all I see when I look at those “breasts” is Gary the snail’s eyes. Creative.
February 2, 2010 at 2:34 pm
Its a penis woman, a PENIS, don’t be scared.
*Johnson*…….. I mean seriously. Obviously if she is trying to snare an arts grant like Electric Chicken Woman, and Stoned Tshirt Designer, she is going to have to start to love the penis word.
February 2, 2010 at 2:36 pm
hang on has no one seen the price?????? $695 ?????????????
February 2, 2010 at 2:37 pm
Who knew that Eve had Cinnabons instead of breasts!
February 2, 2010 at 2:39 pm
$650? Really $ Six hundred Fifty DOLLARS?
I think he pulled that price out of the same place the parts came from. Out of his ass…
February 2, 2010 at 2:40 pm
for you, RCB (re- #25)-
http://www.flickr.com/photos/27900808@N06/4325748917/
February 2, 2010 at 2:41 pm
“No motive or intent to represent man or woman in a ‘suggestive’ way was conceived.
Right–and your point for the $695 rock collection?
February 2, 2010 at 2:42 pm
The “Adam” looks like some kind of failed “Gary The Snail” sclupture made by Squidward Tentacles.
February 2, 2010 at 2:42 pm
if someone could photoshop his pig into the adam and eve… it would really make my day!
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=14595532
February 2, 2010 at 2:50 pm
actually its a man not a woman i got that wrong
February 2, 2010 at 2:55 pm
What’s sadder: That I find this funny or that I can identify all the fossils in this piece? The “spoon” like one is an orthoceras which is an extinct species of my beloved cephalopods.
February 2, 2010 at 2:56 pm
oh gosh, that poor woman’s left breast implant seems to have exploded!
February 2, 2010 at 2:58 pm
The description is TW;DR (Too wanky; didn’t read).
February 2, 2010 at 2:59 pm
I am pretty sure my womb was inviting at least twice.
February 2, 2010 at 3:04 pm
#1 and #23, I don’t think it’s a brain, I think it’s a nose…. groping SNOUT of desire… sniffing out the sppon va-jay-jay. Again, NO RESPECT for things that are old, antique, ancient. These poor fossils.
February 2, 2010 at 3:07 pm
#58, can’t help with the photoshopping, but that looks more like Zero from Nightmare Before Christmas than a pig. I want some of what this artist is smoking. I collect flying pigs, and that ain’t no pig.
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=14595532
February 2, 2010 at 3:10 pm
Is it sad that I’m impressed this one can spell?
February 2, 2010 at 3:10 pm
OMG Madgypsy LOL
hey do those shell boobs not look exactly like the kinda of boobs the teen pencil-sketchist (sp?) draws?
February 2, 2010 at 3:10 pm
For Anyart:
http://twitpic.com/1132nu
February 2, 2010 at 3:13 pm
@ #41 Recovering Crack Baby: And now, a man with three buttocks.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqosS6DBwhA
February 2, 2010 at 3:16 pm
I’m coming into this late (damn kids needing Mom for dinner and stuff), but all I can think of is:
“How do the three seashells work?”
February 2, 2010 at 3:26 pm
Jebus Christ, what is WRONG with some people? Has the Dispensary at the Free Clinic been shut down?
February 2, 2010 at 3:29 pm
What a bunch of pretentious bullshit. And btw – “mans johnson” sounds like a technical term for a male body part. Like “vas deferens.”
On the left we have two boobs and a spoon.
On the right we have a nose and one of those long swirly carnival lollipops.
February 2, 2010 at 3:36 pm
For $700 I expect a representation of the Tree of Knowledge and the serpent included.
February 2, 2010 at 3:50 pm
Johnson looked cold.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/36532708@N00/4325891157/
February 2, 2010 at 3:54 pm
1. He can’t say penis?
2. I did not know snouts could grope. Adam wasn’t an elephant, right?
3. I totally thought the shells were supposed to represent testicles at first. This is definitely Adam & Steve.
February 2, 2010 at 4:05 pm
I just want the fossils, without the “special” arrangement or the “see, I read an art magazine once” description. And I know it’s been said already, but seriously, johnson? What are you, twelve years old?
February 2, 2010 at 4:07 pm
Johnson? Really?
But “groping snout of desire” … now that was a gem.
I think there was a misplaced decimal in the price though.
February 2, 2010 at 4:35 pm
The Snouts at home:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/32727039@N02/4325986725/sizes/o/
February 2, 2010 at 4:50 pm
#77 Ravyncrow – I know, right?! I’d gladly pay $6,950.00 for this masterpiece. These two masterpieces.
February 2, 2010 at 5:08 pm
Looks like 2 kidneys on a stick and the other looks like either a turd or poorly shaped penis with a piece of liver suspended above. But that’s just my health care provider background speaking.
It’s all crap anyway.
February 2, 2010 at 5:22 pm
At first I thought the Milk Dud was supposed to represent the prostate, and the oysters were her ovaries. But then someone said the oysters were breasts, and the artist said the Milk Dud was a nose, and now I am JUST SO CONFUSED.
(I’m glad she specified “man’s johnson,” though. You don’t wanna get that mixed up with the “woman’s johnson,” no sir.)
February 2, 2010 at 5:28 pm
I think “snout of desire” should officially be one of the tags for this site.
February 2, 2010 at 5:54 pm
It’s misspelled. It’s VAN Johnson.
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_MHXumRVuJuY/SUQbvDo8PYI/AAAAAAAAFrQ/gXr3JAZCxxM/s400/300px-Van_Johnson_in_The_Human_Comedy_trailer.jpg
February 2, 2010 at 6:14 pm
#79 um … yeah right. OTHER WAY! Other way! LOL
#81 “(I’m glad she specified “man’s johnson,” though. You don’t wanna get that mixed up with the “woman’s johnson,” no sir.)” hahahahahahahahahahahaha I splurted tea on my keyboard reading that! Thanks!
February 2, 2010 at 6:15 pm
#78 “The snouts at home”
OMG I think I burst a spleen laughing
You guys are going to kill me right here where I sit!
February 2, 2010 at 7:53 pm
I’m loving “groping snout of desire” but otherwise this is pure crap.
Somehow the minute I read “man’s johnson” I knew the artist was a man.
February 2, 2010 at 8:18 pm
HUH??? sorry, spent so much time reading this shit forgot I was horny…….
February 2, 2010 at 8:20 pm
BTW Is it just me, or does the supposed women thingy look like Gary Spongebob’s pet??
February 2, 2010 at 8:28 pm
Or it it the guy thingy? i’m so fucking confused!
February 2, 2010 at 9:13 pm
You can’t say “the mans johnson” and expect me to take you seriously as an artist…
February 2, 2010 at 10:09 pm
Um………….nope. I got nuthin’.
February 2, 2010 at 10:22 pm
#49 MadGypsy: that is fantastic! It should be a cartoon on Adult Swim.
February 2, 2010 at 10:26 pm
#74 nicely done, Sudabaki!
February 2, 2010 at 10:29 pm
Someone please some up with a suitable Mel Gibson/sugar tits joke. I’m just drawing a blank!
February 2, 2010 at 10:30 pm
Aha … In spite of all protestations, Helen Killer has been moved in subtle and recondite ways. Note the deeply significant mispelling of “garbage dispsoal”. Clearly this representation of male and female archetypes has struck a chord long buried in Helen’s psyche and there is evidence of subliminal resistance. The snout of desire is clearly Freudian and harkens perhaps to pre-birth experiences …. or may be alternately interpreted as a spontaneous oneiric image.
February 2, 2010 at 10:31 pm
Spelling variants not picked up by Spell Check are very rare so I suspect there is extreme denial as to the importance and relevance of this exceptionally extraordinary work of art. At a mere $695 I would advice canny collectors to snap it up immediately. And if for no other reason, that’s a nifty trilobite fossil waving around in the general area of the vagoo ….
February 3, 2010 at 5:57 am
I want to know where this artists buys his/her drugs? I’d pay extra for mine if I could hallucinate like that.
February 3, 2010 at 6:42 am
Did the seller really file this under “erotic”? Who thinks this is EROTIC?
February 3, 2010 at 10:45 am
I don’t know about you but my ovaries and uterus shriveled up and turned to stone just looking at that monstrosity.
February 3, 2010 at 10:46 am
I admit it didn’t even make my nipples hard though.
February 3, 2010 at 11:42 am
The thing on the left looks like a petrified tampon/corkscrew. Very erotic if you like fossilized stabbing implements.
February 3, 2010 at 2:54 pm
Brancusi would be cringing from the grave……
February 4, 2010 at 1:28 am
Are the boobs and the penis made out of OLD BREAD?
May 14, 2011 at 2:14 am
I hope this artist’s wife looks better than his eve..