10. WI-FIDO

This looks like something you found under your desk when Make it Work came over to hook up your router.

9. SHOUT IT OUT

It’s more of a shart than a scarf.
 
 

8. STAY OUT OF MY BEADS

That damn cat is going to kill herself one of these days.
 
 

7. $85 CHOCOLATE NECKLACE

I guess the groom is supposed to eat them right off your neck. Hopefully it’s not an outdoor wedding.
 

6. CALL THE DOCTOR

I think she should rename these Hepatitis Drops.
 
 

5. LORENZO’S COIL

Coincidentally, “Smooth Cherry Cordial” is also a new Metamucil flavor.
 
 

4. HAPPY EASTER

Here comes Peter’s Diaper Pail!
 
 

3. DANGLEBERRIES

“Travelers would stack cairns, or piles of stones on trails to let others know the way, so put on these earrings and lead the way! “
 

2. OW OW OW

Well, maybe if you ate something other than Taco Bell every once in a while, you wouldn’t have these problems.
 

AND THE NUMBER ONE THING THAT LOOKS LIKE A TURD IS . . .

1. I’M NOT PICKING THAT UP

Why do they always do it when you don’t have a plastic bag?

Maybe they think you’re stealing cables.