Idiot Box
- Submitted by Elizabeth
“What do you think about my panties?”
“Oh shit that’s right, I forgot to tell you, I have AIDS!”
“Wow, spoiler alert! LOL!”
“OMG, it totally slipped my mind!”
“I’m glad I wore these and not the ones with Spongebob!”
“I know, right? HA HA!”
“Thanks for telling me.”
“No prob.”
“So do you want to just shoot up then?”
January 28, 2010 at 1:35 pm
That’s a way to dampen the mood!
January 28, 2010 at 1:36 pm
Do they make these in men’s with AIDS KILLS on the rear?
January 28, 2010 at 1:38 pm
And if AIDS doesn’t kill you Mittens might while you’re doing it out in the woods on those rocks.
January 28, 2010 at 1:38 pm
I would like to thank the seller, for obviously being aware of Regretsy Rule #69: don’t photograph anything with your junk in it and then try to sell it
January 28, 2010 at 1:39 pm
What these really need is a felted vulva in the crotch to go along with the witty slogans. That way you can say “I’m protecting my pretty, please jizz on the plush.”
January 28, 2010 at 1:39 pm
I would like a custom made pair that says “ASK ABOUT MY CHECKERED PAST”
January 28, 2010 at 1:42 pm
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January 28, 2010 at 1:42 pm
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January 28, 2010 at 1:43 pm
They need a little pocket for a condom. Not fair to let someone read you’re panties if you’re not going to give them a safe entry option.
January 28, 2010 at 1:44 pm
damn, *your* panties. So much for mocking bad spellers.
January 28, 2010 at 1:44 pm
“The plight of our earth and the footprint that we leave for our children is important to me.”
Why is she leaving undies laying around in the forest?
January 28, 2010 at 1:46 pm
Can I get a pair that says:
“This vagoo’s not in the mood”?
Then I can just wear then on nights I don’t want to be bothered by my hubby.
January 28, 2010 at 1:47 pm
For my divorced GRANDMOTHER?
January 28, 2010 at 1:50 pm
Who’s Sponegbob?
January 28, 2010 at 1:53 pm
How about a pair that say: “It burns when I pee!”
January 28, 2010 at 1:54 pm
What Mittens sees the morning after…
January 28, 2010 at 1:58 pm
Wow. I am speechless. I want to buy these just so my boyfriend can see them and be speechless as well. It is so worth the few seconds of shock
January 28, 2010 at 2:01 pm
I’d be more likely to invest in this if the letters were velcro so you could change the message at will.
January 28, 2010 at 2:06 pm
What about a pair that say “I’m married” Hahahahaha! That’s one that can slip the mind in the heat of the moment. Tee hee hee
January 28, 2010 at 2:06 pm
Now that’s just cutting to the chase. Between the truck-stop-rag “jeans skirt,” the skants, and various human and/or animal ivory accouterments available on Etsy, I would think that these mood-killing panties would be unnecessary. I suppose it’s the Etsyan’s last defense against sexual contact.
January 28, 2010 at 2:07 pm
I get two thumbs down for calling out HK for her typo, yet I just spent the past 30 minutes pointing and laughing at the chick from Floydada TX with you guys?
C’mon – it’s Sponegbob! Say it out loud 5 times fast and it’s hilarious.
January 28, 2010 at 2:09 pm
I’d like a pair that says “This is just a one-time thing. You’re really not my type but I’m horny.”
That’s the only kind of thing I can’t bring myself to say in the heat of the moment (cuz it’s a boner killer and then where does that leave me, amirite?).
January 28, 2010 at 2:11 pm
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January 28, 2010 at 2:13 pm
Can I get some that say “Beware the Sand Traps” for my divorced Grandmother?
January 28, 2010 at 2:18 pm
She’s right. “Protect you pretty” is the perfect way to let your grandam know you’re concerned about her vagina. I just wrote it on all of her Depends.
January 28, 2010 at 2:19 pm
I didn’t know they brought them back. LOL Well, that’s about how long it’s been since I’ve gotten any.
http://contraception.about.com/od/overthecounterchoices/f/today_sponge.htm
January 28, 2010 at 2:22 pm
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January 28, 2010 at 2:23 pm
#11 waningestrogen : “The plight of our earth and the footprint that we leave for our children is important to me.”
Why is she leaving undies laying around in the forest?
WANINGESTROGEN- Looks like she left them on top of a big hard solid rock
January 28, 2010 at 2:24 pm
My edgy Valentine just gave me a herpes warning. Noted!
January 28, 2010 at 2:27 pm
I’ve heard that Valentine’s Day is THE day that breakups occur more than any other of the year. Might presents like this be the culprit??
January 28, 2010 at 2:30 pm
If this is to be a warning to a hetted-up male suitor, they not only wouldn’t be likely to read and heed such messages in the heat of passion,but by that point they rarely even think with the Big Head.
January 28, 2010 at 2:32 pm
For Efit:
Who left his Aids underpants under a tree?
Sponegbob Squarepants!
Who screwed his friend Patrick right in the heiny?
Sponegbob Squarepants!
Whose drawers are discarded and covered with leaves?
Sponegbob Squarepants!
Who said unsafe sex is one of his pet peeves?
Sponegbob Squarepants!
Sponegbob Squarepants, Sponegbob Squarepants…
January 28, 2010 at 2:34 pm
I think I’ll just wear my skantie!
January 28, 2010 at 2:34 pm
Kinda crazy, but kudos for coming up with a modern chastity belt…
January 28, 2010 at 2:37 pm
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January 28, 2010 at 2:39 pm
I’d like to have a “Jesus is watching” pair.
In fact, why doesn’t she just offer a whole days-of-the-week mood-killer set? The Jesus ones could be for Sunday.
January 28, 2010 at 2:41 pm
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January 28, 2010 at 2:43 pm
Also, something tells me that anyone serious about wearing these wouldn’t exactly be the “edgy” type.
January 28, 2010 at 2:43 pm
“Idiot box”, I love it!
January 28, 2010 at 2:45 pm
This clip from Family Guy was the first thing I thought of when I saw this:
http://www.pinkbike.com/video/32400/
January 28, 2010 at 2:54 pm
and btw, if you put a “P” in front of “aids” it makes it “Paid skills”
January 28, 2010 at 2:58 pm
For the married- OH FUCK it’s you again
For all- passed out sex is not consensual
January 28, 2010 at 3:03 pm
I’m pretty sure a better way to stay abstinent would be to have panties that advertised Valtrex instead.
January 28, 2010 at 3:06 pm
I was looking for the perfect gift for my divorced grandma… and they’re all out of clown gumball mason jars
January 28, 2010 at 3:13 pm
maybe it’s the organic cotton, but these panties look a bit yellowed?
i’m too lazy to shop this but i’d like to see the gnome wearing a set of these with the merkin…
January 28, 2010 at 3:19 pm
January 28, 2010 at 3:20 pm
#43 RAZ- I too had concerns with where these may have been prior to being on ETSY. Most charge for their labor and I have never paid 8.50 for a pr. More like 15-18.00. I looked on the American Apparel site and found some for 4.00 but you would have shipping. BTW- American Apparel is currently searching for the best butt.
January 28, 2010 at 3:20 pm
My merkin and vagina dentata render safe-sex panties redundant.
January 28, 2010 at 3:20 pm
Thank you, Skully! I love you for making my day and validating my Regretsy existence. lolz
{{{hugs}}}
January 28, 2010 at 3:21 pm
My divorced grandma says, “I’m not a whore!”
Well, she didn’t really say that.
Actually, she never got divorced.
To be honest both my grandmas have been dead for years.
But still!!!
January 28, 2010 at 3:25 pm
razberries – I was going to waste my evening shopping the velveteen bunny OR A new fUck OuFF sign OR a buncha stupid stuff with those rocks with words and individual periods. Okay maybe I’ll start with the gnome.. did you send in your skants pic I got mine ready to go!!! *laughing nervously*
January 28, 2010 at 3:26 pm
#44- bravo
January 28, 2010 at 3:40 pm
Okay ladies here is the first of tonight’s efforts
http://www.flickr.com/photos/15639141@N02/4312719150/
January 28, 2010 at 3:49 pm
whats funny is the “humourous” type font…
January 28, 2010 at 4:04 pm
I feel confident if I were to wear some of the outfits seen here and on Etsy abstinence panties would be redundant.
January 28, 2010 at 4:07 pm
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January 28, 2010 at 4:08 pm
clevercat, i just submitted my skants entry about 10 minutes ago…i doubt it will be as whimsicle as everyone else’s but hey, i tried
i learned a valuable lesson, too. don’t misplace the tripod. i look like a damn pretzel after trying to fit everything into the picture!
January 28, 2010 at 4:19 pm
okay I just sent mine in….actually I am wearing a tank top in the pic that would go perfectly with these panties – the top reads “beg for it” no lie!
January 28, 2010 at 4:22 pm
I love how they looked like they were chucked in the dirt behind the parking lot. Like this is the realistic location where this message would come in handy.
Gee I was going to turn a trick in this abandoned lot but once I discarded my panties and saw the message it saved me.
January 28, 2010 at 4:22 pm
LOL…that would be a great oxymoron or juxtaposition or whatever, clevercat…”beg for it…aids kills!”
hahahaha
all i have to say is mine is color-themed. and quite hideous. oh and i look like a gypsy.
January 28, 2010 at 4:24 pm
Hmmm . . . if only I could foresee someone slipping a roofie into my drink . . . these panties would be perfect for that occasion, for sure.
January 28, 2010 at 4:27 pm
If your wearing these panties as a reminder to yourself, wouldnt it actually be better to have the guy your with wearing the panties with the message?
January 28, 2010 at 4:30 pm
And how come no one said “lookin’ like a fool with your pants on the ground”
January 28, 2010 at 4:32 pm
January 28, 2010 at 4:40 pm
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January 28, 2010 at 4:40 pm
Some alternates:
“Genital Warts – They won’t Kill You but are really annoying”
“There’s a Penis under these Panties”
“I don’t respect myself enough to have an adult conversation with you about sexuality so I’m hoping that you think this is coy and cute rather than insipid and ignorant” (yeah, that one is long, but if they are taking the time to read while hanging out down there, you might as well convey an important message, right?)
January 28, 2010 at 4:43 pm
My edgy valentine: http://twitpic.com/108cse
January 28, 2010 at 4:47 pm
#44 Eruanna- too funny!!!
What can I say about these panties.
At first I thought they were guys tidy whities!!
I read that description and thought.. if you are worried about cooties in the heat of the moment then you shouldn’t be in the heat of the moment.
January 28, 2010 at 4:49 pm
OMG Vile that is the best yet.
January 28, 2010 at 4:50 pm
Eruanna – If A guy I am with is wearing panties that is all the message I need!
January 28, 2010 at 4:51 pm
Completly off topic, but can anyone tell me how to set my own icon/avatar?
Im still trying to get the hang of this forum system.
January 28, 2010 at 4:51 pm
#68 clevercat
some girls are into that :O
January 28, 2010 at 4:52 pm
@#69 Eruanna: Go to gravatar.com, make sure to use the same e-mail address for Regretsy and Gravatar.
January 28, 2010 at 4:53 pm
I love these! I can see a whole line:
WWJF
Ask Me About My Herpes!
Chlamydia–Now it’s personal.
Isn’t 12 a little young for you, Father?
These panties just write themselves!
January 28, 2010 at 5:01 pm
#71 Skully
Thanks!
January 28, 2010 at 5:20 pm
I’d get a few if they came in “thong.”
January 28, 2010 at 5:50 pm
I think the “Raiders of the Lost Ark” font is what really sells it.
January 28, 2010 at 6:02 pm
so I apologize to the panties-wearing-gentleman in the crowd who thumbed-me-down. I didn’t say I wouldn’t like him or his panties. I was just saying…
January 28, 2010 at 6:07 pm
The seller’s pic looks like something from CSI: Boondocks
January 28, 2010 at 6:10 pm
These would be much more fun if embroidered in Braille.
January 28, 2010 at 6:13 pm
Seriously? Like anyone reads someones underwear in the heat of passion!
January 28, 2010 at 6:23 pm
#57 razberries : Looking like a pretzel trying to get everything in for your skants pic is actually a good choice. It’s how the original looks, I don’t think she has a tripod or a friend to take pictures of her expensive creations.
I’m trying to decide whether to take yet another skants pic in a wildly loud sweater my aunt bought me for christmas. Pro: it has a zipper with dangly pom-pom balls that hang down nicely. Con: It’d probably convince my SO/photog that I’m even more bat-crap…
January 28, 2010 at 6:28 pm
oooh dangly-balls my favourite!
January 28, 2010 at 6:29 pm
HAHA just realized unintentional joke- in Canada we spell favorite with the added “U”
January 28, 2010 at 7:21 pm
Mood. Killer.
Are these supposed to be interpreted as a warning from the wearer?
January 28, 2010 at 7:29 pm
My Christmas shopping for 2010 is done! Just what Granny and cute little preschool granddaughter wanted…
January 28, 2010 at 8:06 pm
Tiger Woods wears these all the time, he says it gets the ladies, hubba hubba…
http://www.flickr.com/photos/emilyromano/4313161068/
January 29, 2010 at 3:31 am
i want one that says “blankets kill”
January 29, 2010 at 8:32 am
I think they should make an entire series of undies inspired by VD.
I want a pair that says “Extra Yeasty”
Eww
January 29, 2010 at 9:54 am
My new business model: buy shit from American Apparel, ruin it, and then sell it on etsy for less than I paid for it.
January 29, 2010 at 8:53 pm
and here i’ve been relying on carrying a copy of randy shilts’ “and the band played on” in my pants.
December 28, 2010 at 4:45 pm
Yesss! Mood killer panties! I’ll take six!
June 17, 2011 at 4:38 pm
If i bring this panties to my wife as present… she will trow me out on the street