Red, White and Blew
I don’t want this to come off like some nationalistic rant, but I just thank God I was born right here in the good old US of A, where people can shred priceless 100 year old handmade quilts and make shitty dresses out of them.
AMERICA, FUCK YEAH
January 27, 2010 at 1:32 pm
i’m sure Maw-MAw is turning over in her grave about this!
January 27, 2010 at 1:35 pm
TRAIN WRECK!!!
My 7 year old can “create” better stuff from my scrap box and NOT f*ck up a 100 year old quilt. I agreee Maw Naws everyhwere are grave spinning!
January 27, 2010 at 1:37 pm
OOPS i mean Maw Maws, sorry i’m a crappy typer!
January 27, 2010 at 1:38 pm
You know what’s realy sad? If she had kept it as a quilt, antique ones can easily go for more than that, depending on fabric and intricacy.
January 27, 2010 at 1:38 pm
Oh look! Jenna Bush is selling her wedding dress!
January 27, 2010 at 1:38 pm
That’s sad. It looks like a shark and an antique quilt got trapped in a net together for a while, then somebody found the whole thing and put it on.
January 27, 2010 at 1:40 pm
I’m so sick of these “I’ll just sloppily sew some random shit together and charge a mint for it” people.
January 27, 2010 at 1:41 pm
How sad and fucked up to make a crappy dress out of a beautiful quilt somebody’s relatives took hours to make.
January 27, 2010 at 1:42 pm
I want a brooch called “Pussy in the Woods,” but only if it actually says “Pussy in the Woods” on it. Close, but no cigar: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=34657309
Too bad too because that is EXACTLY my “Pussy in the Woods” budget.
January 27, 2010 at 1:44 pm
Lord have mercy!
January 27, 2010 at 1:46 pm
Her “NO WAR” hat is counterproductive. Every time I look at it, I want to declare war on her sewing machine. http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=18304823
January 27, 2010 at 1:47 pm
OMFG!!!! and just when I thunk granny were gonna give it on down ta me when she up and died and she done taked the drapes and the lacey curtins I were hankerin fer too.
January 27, 2010 at 1:49 pm
It actually kinda makes me angry — think about how long it took someone to originally make that quilt!
January 27, 2010 at 1:50 pm
Oh my. I’ll bet the original quilt was lovely. This, not so much.
I definitely need to dig up the old hand-me-down sewing machine I’m pretty sure I have somewhere (never used by me), and learn how to use it well enough to sew crap together. (Oh…not literally “crap”…somehow I do feel the need to emphasize that here…)
January 27, 2010 at 1:50 pm
That poor, poor quilt
January 27, 2010 at 1:51 pm
Sometimes my clothes dryer makes garments like this for me if I load it too heavily with sheets.
January 27, 2010 at 1:52 pm
My dear Gramma Ruth would claw her way out of her grave and attack me as a zombie if I dared to do this to the quilt she made me when I got married 23 years ago.
I couldn’t even fathom doing this to a 100 year old quilt (well, ANY quilt, for that matter, because this is just ugly).
January 27, 2010 at 1:52 pm
My heart is broken over the untimely death of the priceless heirloom quilt.
A moment of silence….
January 27, 2010 at 1:53 pm
Millions of quilters cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced. *bows head*
January 27, 2010 at 1:55 pm
The woman who made the quilt (and intended it to be a cat bed) is rolling in her grave
January 27, 2010 at 1:55 pm
Perhaps the people of Regretsy should have a memorial service for this beautiful heirloom quilt.
January 27, 2010 at 1:56 pm
whats the point of those lace wings on the side?
January 27, 2010 at 2:00 pm
The ability to crochet should only be used for good, not evil.
January 27, 2010 at 2:01 pm
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=23642581
It looks like someone has been cleansing again
January 27, 2010 at 2:01 pm
Granny would kick my ass twice if I did this.
Also, how f^cking dumb are her customers that she has to explain that a rooster is a typical farm animal?
*smacks own forehead*
Oh, right, dumb enough to pay $400 for all the hours she spent creating this travesty.
Excuse me while I go produce something that is merely technically proficient and visually pleasing.
January 27, 2010 at 2:02 pm
#9 Dynomoose,
Hey! It’s the thought that counts!
January 27, 2010 at 2:04 pm
I’m just left wondering on what occasions these wierd and wonderful outfits are appropriate, for this, the young mothers quilting open day?
January 27, 2010 at 2:09 pm
so what does destroying what was most likely a gorgeous heirloom quilt have to do with the plastic rooster disk that she got in bulk from Oriental Trading Company when they were having a chinese new years clearance sale?
January 27, 2010 at 2:09 pm
@ meanbeads–that was both funny, and sad.
Good thing she didn’t get her mits on old Navajo rugs!
January 27, 2010 at 2:12 pm
Ima slap a bitch if she don’t stay out of my damn linen closet!
January 27, 2010 at 2:13 pm
I am a quilter. I cried when I saw this. I can only pray that this antique quilt was falling apart badly and irreparable. She should be banned from all consignment stores.
However, the dress would go very well with this goiter-shaped neck-hanging-thing that she made:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=29119945
January 27, 2010 at 2:14 pm
Oh, and she should have called the rooster a cock, which is also proper for a male chicken.
January 27, 2010 at 2:15 pm
It appears she is the person who bought that girl’s dreads:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=19561648
January 27, 2010 at 2:16 pm
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=23641449
Charlie Parker’s Delight = Fashion Nightmare.
I’ve seen 5 year old kids put together a more coherent outfit.
January 27, 2010 at 2:18 pm
A similar effect happens for me if the hooks on my bra get tangled up with a pair of tights and a sweater in the wash.
January 27, 2010 at 2:22 pm
Sing with me now…
Oh beautiful, for specious lies,
for shredded lace with stain
for mutilated majesty
of quilted counterpane…
January 27, 2010 at 2:28 pm
nobody’s seen this one?
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=34657309
Pussy in the woods…hehe pussy. also whatever that thing in the middle is sorta looks like a vadge
January 27, 2010 at 2:29 pm
There’s a death-quilt joke in here somewhere…
January 27, 2010 at 2:36 pm
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=18251590
She’s a proud member of the Lockjaw Indian tribe.
January 27, 2010 at 2:36 pm
at least its not as nasty as her science experiment pumpkin bracelet… http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=29119526
what the hell, maybe she found a cure for cancer…too bad she fiber glassed over it! Just what I want on my wrist!
January 27, 2010 at 2:38 pm
You know, this “dress” might just pass as modern art depicting the current state of our nation. It certainly depicts Shitting On The Past, if nothing else. If I saw this on the wall in MOMA I would say “ahhhh yes, I see,” and then go to a Green Peace meeting or something.
January 27, 2010 at 2:38 pm
Staining something with tea does not make it better! At least all the materials “where” brought together to make this American nightmare dress….with a Japanese brooch.
January 27, 2010 at 2:40 pm
Amen #41!
January 27, 2010 at 2:41 pm
I pray she did not cut the quilt in halk’s. One of these in America is one two many.
January 27, 2010 at 2:41 pm
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=18263486
Here’s some more hand work that she’s destroyed…
January 27, 2010 at 2:42 pm
Would it be considered rude to tell her she looks like she just jumped out of bed
January 27, 2010 at 2:43 pm
She tore…she tore up a…a HUNDRED YEAR OLD QUILT?! *twitch* Woman, have you never seen Antique Roadshow? Well, that’s okay, if you’re this dumb you don’t deserve the couple thousand bucks you just destroyed.
January 27, 2010 at 2:44 pm
(snarkless) Quilt’s history aside, I kinda like the dress. I like all the textures. Same with a couple of her other dresses.
I can see using a quilt that was severely damaged already, though it would be better to make a keepsake, not a dress. Something to conserve what’s left of the quilt rather than wear it out further. I’ve seen people who make custom keepsakes from old wedding gowns, etc.
January 27, 2010 at 2:46 pm
I think the seller misunderstood the skants contest.
To clarify: you put a sweater or shirt on your body as a pair of pants. You do not tear apart a 100 year old quilt to make a piece of crap out of it.
January 27, 2010 at 2:46 pm
Oh, and Stevie Nicks called. She does NOT want her dress back.
January 27, 2010 at 2:50 pm
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=18256957
“You will get plenty of looks when you wear this hat.”
Yes, you certainly will. Looks of pity as the nice men gently fit you with a straitjacket.
January 27, 2010 at 2:51 pm
#31 voxwoman: it looks like she cut off someone’s dreds and stuck them in a sling to wear around her neck. uuuugggghly.
January 27, 2010 at 2:52 pm
“I’ve been in the field of graphic design for more than 20 years, working for well-known magazines like Rolling Stone and Condé Nast Traveler to name a few. My last official job before moving out of New York was Vice President of Creative Services World Wide for Esté Lauder.”
SAY WHAT?!
January 27, 2010 at 2:53 pm
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January 27, 2010 at 2:57 pm
I love that she went to Parsons for Communication Design.
January 27, 2010 at 2:58 pm
Two thoughts come to mind…. first, regarding the quilt, some people have no respect anymore.
Second, regarding the “Pussy in the Woods,” a) is this a brooch you wear??? and b) why/how would it move as you walk as claimed in the description? and c) would you want it to move as you walk??? Oh, and d) is that a vagina on it? Is that the Pussy in the Woods?
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=34657309
January 27, 2010 at 3:00 pm
$400 for this?? Really???
January 27, 2010 at 3:02 pm
Really, as both an artist and an antiques collector, I want to die when I look at this. Unless that quilt was an absolute wreck (and it obviously wasn’t, or she’d have had nothing to use), this is sacrilege and heresy of the highest order. I’ve got no problem giving a new life to something that would otherwise go into a landfill (I’ve killed irreparable clocks for their pieces), but this is horrid. I bet she’d chop up a Biedermeier chair because she thought she could use the upholstery…
January 27, 2010 at 3:04 pm
Okay, Fabric Mauling Woman, if you’d really worked for Este (sic) Lauder you should have at least learned how to spell it. Estee is spinning in her grave.
January 27, 2010 at 3:05 pm
This reminds me of what someone would wear in some sort of post-apocalyptic situation.
It’s Mad Max chic!
January 27, 2010 at 3:07 pm
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January 27, 2010 at 3:10 pm
Ok the size is right, the look is right for my next Halloween ghost pirate costume, but the price? Hell-ooo? I’d spend maybe $4 on this not $400.
January 27, 2010 at 3:13 pm
#37 Ninjagato, that’s a walnut, covered with some shiny shit.
January 27, 2010 at 3:14 pm
“Lotus Seeds Playing in My Garden”
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=29119945
I’ve gone back to this several times and can’t decide if this reminds me of a medieval torture of some kind or a growth a la Elephant Man. Either way, I just can’t get my mind to go to playing in a garden in any form. This looks painful.
January 27, 2010 at 3:14 pm
I was trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, trying to think of where it might be appropriate to wear some of these ……things. Then I realized – Mardi Gras is coming up!
January 27, 2010 at 3:15 pm
Some people have no idea of the value of history
How on earth could she physically cut up something so old???
Some people are just the King Of Stupid
January 27, 2010 at 3:18 pm
Looks like a tornado hit somebody’s scrap bin.
- Cutting up a quilt – enough said.
- Antique lace may or may not be valuable, depending on a lot of factors, but it’s a shame to cut it up for THIS.
- If she had sacrificed various textiles to make a beautiful, meaningful work of art, more power to her. But this!
Who buys this stuff? Who wears it? Do they stalk around in it at restaurants and bars trying to impress each other? Because it sure isn’t impressing the rest of us.
January 27, 2010 at 3:18 pm
This is great, and totally worth $400!
…It is the actual dress that the old junkyard monster woman wore in “The Labyrinth”, right?
January 27, 2010 at 3:23 pm
Survived a long and productive life and warmed the hearts of many a person and cat.
R I P Quilton “Patchwork” Quilterson aka The Quilt
1908-2010
January 27, 2010 at 3:32 pm
What the hell.It looks like she took Grandma’s heirloom, stuck it in a wood chipper, and then tried to reattach the pieces.
January 27, 2010 at 3:37 pm
WTF?! Who does that to a 100 year old quilt?!
January 27, 2010 at 3:42 pm
I’m massively delurking here. My mother gave me a quilt when I was seven years old. I don’t care if that thing ends up as scraps, I would NEVER make it something else. Ever. I just wonder why this crapseller felt she had to destroy a piece of history like that.
January 27, 2010 at 3:44 pm
Seeing things like this make me want to bury all of our old family quilts with us. I gotta love the America the Beautiful theme with japanese ivory pieces……ummm yea.
January 27, 2010 at 3:47 pm
Holy shit!!! I had a sex dream involving Helen and she WAS WEARING THAT DRESS!!!
Well she wasn’t wearing it long.
January 27, 2010 at 3:56 pm
I think pin #11 should be a Regretsy Award. Can we pin this???
January 27, 2010 at 3:58 pm
#69 pantsmonkey – I agree 100%. I think we should kick down her door and take all the helpless quilts that live in her home. Somebody has got to save the quilts.
January 27, 2010 at 4:04 pm
quilts=blankets
and we all know that blankets kill babies. Maybe she was just doing her part to save the babies.
January 27, 2010 at 4:13 pm
R I P in this case means “Rest in Pieces”
January 27, 2010 at 4:21 pm
Now now…this could have a perfectly good use…
Im thinking like as a costume in a post-apocalypse movie??
January 27, 2010 at 4:22 pm
#71, no, I think we need Mac’s opinion. If she shits on it in derision, it might even actually improve it.
January 27, 2010 at 4:24 pm
OMG!! I found a quilt in her favorites and it is sold! please please say it aint so, she couldn’t possibly be wanting to make another! Hopefully someone else bought it to save it from another craptacular desgin from hell!
January 27, 2010 at 4:26 pm
For $400 I’d expect something that looked a little less like Dr. Frankenstein made it.
January 27, 2010 at 4:31 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
January 27, 2010 at 4:35 pm
What kills me is, I really WANT to like this — I looked at all the pics, tilted my head, dimmed the lights, squinted my eyes, hoping to see the funky hippie 70′s look that I *think* she was going for, but the only reaction I can muster is a big fat “meh.”
January 27, 2010 at 4:36 pm
Go ahead and file this one under Annoying Descriptions though, christ: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=21242413
January 27, 2010 at 5:12 pm
I like it, except for the macrame-looking stuff. Also think it looks like post-apocalypse wear, ‘cuz bikepunk chicks need to look pretty sometimes, too.
Go ahead and put that red thumbs-down in my ass for liking it.
January 27, 2010 at 5:12 pm
Maybe she was inspired by this disturbing clash of textures? http://jezebel.com/5458394/valentinos-fugly-patchwork-technicolor-mess/gallery/3
January 27, 2010 at 5:35 pm
I don’t care. I love this dress. This is my favorite thing that’s ever been on Regretsy (at least in the non-whimsicle-fuckery kind of way). I always like the stuff that’s in the worst dress list in the tabloids, too.
January 27, 2010 at 5:35 pm
@#87 at least those look like the designer knows how to use a sewing machine instead of improvising with chicken-wire and spit.
January 27, 2010 at 5:42 pm
“america, fuck yeah”- that team america movie was a riot.
on another note, i don’t see the point of shredding an antique item. even if it had no sentimental value to the seller, at one time it was cherished and loved. kinda like the velveteen rabbit.
January 27, 2010 at 5:54 pm
#65 cratz : As someone who pretty much lives for Mardi Gras, I can tell you that the drunken, shit-covered homeless person who listens to the voices in her head wouldn’t be caught dead in this hideous piece of crap at a parade or anywhere!
January 27, 2010 at 5:55 pm
I consider myself to be fairly open minded but WTF? Who wears this shit (a goiter necklace?? pussy brooch?). And the prices just piss me off.
January 27, 2010 at 6:03 pm
I would have given that quilt a good home. I have a 90 or so year old quilt. You know where it is? In a box because I’m too scared to cover up with it for FEAR OF RUINING IT. Why can’t we all have the same fears?
January 27, 2010 at 6:20 pm
#88 aaahhhh but would you pay 400$ for it?
January 27, 2010 at 7:09 pm
Razberries – I am too tired to shop it- but you made me so want to see the Velveteen Rabbit canoodling the naked girl with red mittens. LOL
January 27, 2010 at 7:25 pm
There is a notice “BeatriceMcClelland is currently away
Visit the shop home for more details or to sign up to be notified when they return”
Wow, do you think someone is currently re-evaluating their crafting abilities tonight? I’m just amazed because usually they just come on here and tell us we suck. (Kind of find that amusing at times.)
January 27, 2010 at 7:31 pm
@ #96 She’s probably at the Smithsonian, looking for fabric.
January 27, 2010 at 7:32 pm
I think we hurt her feelings. Her shop is in vacation mode.
January 27, 2010 at 7:33 pm
#91 Dynomoose – so you’re saying you don’t think I should wear it to the Rex ball as I was planning?
January 27, 2010 at 7:39 pm
I kinda liked this when I first saw it. I assumed the quilt had been severely damaged and this was just the only usable part of it. I thought it was cool to give new life to an overloved quilt. Then I looked at more of the pictures. It really does just suck, a bunch of stuff apparently randomly sewn together. The pic from the back made it look like there was actually some intentional design, but nope.
January 27, 2010 at 7:44 pm
#93 Meg88 ever since I joined Regretsy my fears involve large bears, visions of hoohas including my own seen through the legs of my skants and clowns. As of tonight I am afraid I’ll find a catturdpin or this dress in my dryer. What next?
January 27, 2010 at 8:36 pm
Its like Dolly Parton and Cher gangbanged a quilt. File under “quilt rape”
January 27, 2010 at 9:11 pm
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=31003182
This scarf is pretty. But the $40 price is baffling. Handspun material grown perenially by families in Nepal…. someone is getting shortchanged. I do like the scarf, however.
January 27, 2010 at 9:50 pm
It’s a shame her ancestors didn’t rise from the grave as one against her and her shop. I know mine would.
This would be like if I took my old antique wood furniture, made it into kindling, glued it together, and called it a “desk”
January 27, 2010 at 10:13 pm
Now we know what Andie from “Pretty in Pink” did with her life…
January 27, 2010 at 10:29 pm
I’m putting on my quilted black arm band now.
January 27, 2010 at 10:30 pm
ROFL @#98
January 27, 2010 at 10:35 pm
Someone should buy it and turn it back into a quilt and send her a photo.
I vote we all chip in one dollar.
We could raise $400 bucks, and some person who can sew (which is not me) can sew it back up possibly adding appropriate spoonflower whimsicleness and add it to the blanket collection than is alledgedly killing babies.
??
January 27, 2010 at 10:37 pm
Two things:
1) Is it just me or is her left breast kind of hanging out the side thru the *crotched* part?
2) As a person from North Carolina, I feel a little defiled.
January 28, 2010 at 1:17 am
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=29119945
Lotusboob was not meant to be a fashion inspiration.
January 28, 2010 at 4:31 am
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=18263486
But does it contain real Japanese noodles? For $250.00 throw in a pack Ramen noodles-darn it!
January 28, 2010 at 4:35 am
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=18238386
Ok, the name of this piece pretty much says it all.
January 28, 2010 at 5:37 am
I’m mesmerized by the photos. But not by the dress. Are we sure that’s a woman modeling the dress?
January 28, 2010 at 6:59 am
Betsy Ross; The Eary Years. Workin’ the corners to score thread and needles…maybe a few spangles if the deed was dirty enough.
January 28, 2010 at 7:03 am
As a quilter, history buff, and archives employee, I’ll try not to make this an incoherent rant.
Unbelievable pieces of $#!% made by somebody without a clue, to be sold to somebody else without a clue. $#@!!-ing hipsters appropriating traditions in which they have no genuine interest or respect, so they can show off how creative they are (and, hopefully, make a buck). If you think it’s interesting trivia that a rooster is a barnyard animal, you need to back the Hell away from the…
January 28, 2010 at 7:26 am
i love that she says this about one of her items: “Wear it back to front or front to back.”
the thing’s so jacked up, the creator doesn’t even know how to put it on. http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=18238386
most of her items look like she gave up halfway through. i’d hate to see the prices on them if she had finished.
January 28, 2010 at 7:34 am
@ #115 Dix: i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again… hipsters ruin EVERYTHING.
January 28, 2010 at 7:52 am
would this not look good on Michele Obama?
January 28, 2010 at 8:03 am
#117 enamy: A dangerous slippery slope here. We imply we’re hipper-than-thou by disliking hipsters, than someone claims to be hipper than Regretsyians because we are just haters, then the next person says they like us, but only ironically, and finally its hipsters all the way down and we’re all hip-deep in meta-hipsters.
January 28, 2010 at 9:35 am
It’s kind of Betsy Ross meets Morticia Adams. Just needs a bouquet of dead-headed roses to accessorize, and wallah!
January 28, 2010 at 12:05 pm
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January 28, 2010 at 12:08 pm
Quilts + crochet tablebloths do not equal dress attire of any kind
(
January 28, 2010 at 2:43 pm
So this is like a couture slanket?
January 28, 2010 at 3:46 pm
#119
Say What?
January 28, 2010 at 4:05 pm
#99 cratz : a: I don’t think you’d make it in the door. Heck, you’d probably be booed off the street during Orpheus, in the rain. b: if you’re actually going to the Rex ball, I am insanely jealous. I watch those krewe balls on TV like some people watch baseball.
January 28, 2010 at 4:44 pm
Is this the companion piece to that Lady Satterly’s Lover brown satin hunk-o-shit thing?
January 29, 2010 at 5:06 pm
1) yeah, i can kinda see what she was going for, and it would have been cool, but she totally missed the mark.
2) why the fuck would she use a 100-year-old quilt instead of one from walmart or something?
3) i feel the same way about most of her items – the materials are pretty cool, but she wastes them. (except the “pussy in the woods”, which apparently she made from crap she found on the ground?)
but most importantly:
4) “back to front” and “front to back” are the same thing!
February 1, 2010 at 2:50 am
The only way I can think of this and not want to scream, is to consider that perhaps this is what was left/recoverable from a badly damaged quilt.
Otherwise, I want to scream.
February 1, 2010 at 2:51 am
Apparently I felt the need to mention screaming twice. That’s how sad it is.
October 17, 2010 at 12:24 pm
She could have sold a 100 year old quilt for more than $400 BEFORE she destroyed it. Kudos on turning something of value into absolute trash. Quilters everywhere are weeping.
May 14, 2011 at 5:58 am
AMERICAN dress.. Thanks God I am an ISRAELI.. (Really. I am).