Giant, Engorged Mailbag
Jesus H. Macy, we have an assload of email today. Good mail, with pictures and spelling and stuff. You can’t ask for more than that.
So let’s just stop pulling our puds and get on with it, shall we?
From: Amy
Subject: Mittens: The Early Years
Date: January 25, 2010 2:02:24 PM PST
He does it because it was done to him.
From: Thimbletop
Subject: A Very Regretsy Holiday
Date: January 25, 2010 4:09:57 PM PST
I wanted to show you a pillow that I made for a friend as a holiday present. I took the quote from your Google translation here. Although she has yet to receive it in the mail, she was very excited when I told her about the whimsicle fuckery I had in store for her.
From: Audrey
Subject: Pardon What? A little Maxine Swaby/Say What Tribute
Date: January 22, 2010 2:04:00 PM PST
I whimsicled the hellcat out this. From Denny’s classic Mile High Club painting.
From: Matt
Subject: Catilable arrived today
Date: January 22, 2010 2:45:31 PM PST
Thanks again for a great contest. It’s like having a tangible piece of the Internet.
Speaking of Spoonflower fabrics, many Regretsy designs are now available for purchase, including three of my absolute favorites:
Louis Vagoo
Coochie
DingleberryAnd by the way, if you browse the What’s Hot category, you’ll see that 11 of the top designs are Regretsy fabrics!
From: Tasha
Subject: omg
Date: January 25, 2010 5:34:36 PM PST
From: Jessica
Subject: bear on girl olympics souvenir – precious memories!
Date: January 26, 2010 3:57:15 PM PST
Dear Regretsy person,
Today while in Chinatown in Vancouver, BC where I live, I saw this uncanny bit of tourist fuckery which is obviously marketed toward the upcoming influx of Olympic fans who will surely buy this kinda crap. I couldn’t help but think of the recurring regretsy bear-on-girl theme. This one seems a little less consensual, although it’s pretty accurate. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been skiing down our local mountains only to discover a bear has strapped on a pair of skis too, and is about to rape me from behind.
The incredibly delightful Sofa City Sweetheart, maker of the fine plastic Regretsy jewelry we’ve all been coveting, has added a new section to her site just for these stunning little trinkets.
I love that she keeps finding new Regretsy featured artists to work with, and that everyone is benefiting from it. And I love the Say What cocktail ring, which may have to be my next fine jewelry investment.
And in a spectacular bit of recursive, meta clusterfuckery, she also sends a picture of herself with her new original Denny PInkham painting:
Yes, the characters in the painting are wearing jewelry she made of the characters in the painting.
If she sends in a picture of herself looking at the picture of herself kissing the painting of the people wearing the jewelry in the painting, I may have an aneurysm.
From: clever cat
Subject: gnome merkin
Date: January 23, 2010 8:46:39 PM PST
Convo me if you have any questions – like don’t I have anything better to do than waste 5 hours reading the whole Regretsy site and another hour with Photoshop. And I don’t need to email you back to tell you apparently not.
And from Jennifer, the seller who created the now famous chicken poncho, comes a photo of her latest satisifed customer.
KILLER, OUT
January 27, 2010 at 4:41 pm
so freaked out by the bear assault I can’t think. seems fodder for a Law & Order SVU episode for sure.
January 27, 2010 at 4:41 pm
LMAO. Pedobear is really making the rounds these days…
As an aside, the Whimsicles patterns are also available for sale! I’d love to see what people come up with…
January 27, 2010 at 4:41 pm
Holy crap! So it was the gnome merkin who left his pipe case next to my car this morning. WOW! How weird and I thought it must be one of the drug addicts who live in the house around the corner casing out my car.
Oh by the way.
I ordered your purse fabric the other day. I also bought a stud setter. So I hope you like it. hee hee hee.
January 27, 2010 at 4:44 pm
It’s a veritable cornucopia of most excellent fuckery – I believe I just wet myself.
January 27, 2010 at 4:46 pm
Oh.My.GODS. The gnome merkin is so full of WIN that it has just won the internet.
January 27, 2010 at 4:50 pm
Is there anything cuter than a chicken in a poncho?
January 27, 2010 at 4:54 pm
That little chick is trussed up like a veal, getting all tender for an Easter feast, I daresay!
January 27, 2010 at 4:55 pm
There is so much going on here I’m not sure where to start. It’s always good time when Mittens is involved, Clevercat rocks, that baby chicken/duck thing is so cute, love the Regretsy jewelry…omg I need a nap now.
January 27, 2010 at 4:59 pm
Or should I say “plethora”?
January 27, 2010 at 5:04 pm
I seriously need to buy the cheerfully bright Whimsicle Fuckery fabric to make a purse out of.
January 27, 2010 at 5:08 pm
Please somebody make me that gnome for real! I totally want one! In fact, I’d love a whole set of oddly-posed/clothed gnomes for my garden. (I’m not joking!!)
January 27, 2010 at 5:16 pm
I’ll never be able to look at my parents’ lawn gnomes the same again.
*everything was awesome- I like the bear attack victim wearing red mittens, it was almost too perfect*
January 27, 2010 at 5:18 pm
I want a garden gnome dressed up in skants.
January 27, 2010 at 5:19 pm
Okay seriously I know nothing of farm animals… ‘course i know even less about bears, I swear – but do chickens want to wear little ponchos? And if so, do they want to wear skants? S/he can have mine. I’ve lost the circulation in my feet not to mention the breeze on my hooha! I have no idea how Paris Hilton and the like stand putting their pantyless bits on every limo seat and bar stool in America. I feel sick just know my Dad was sitting in this chair before me. oh sorry too much info done…
January 27, 2010 at 5:22 pm
All that lovely fuckery just cheered me up 1,000%.
January 27, 2010 at 5:27 pm
This is by today’s featured Etsy seller. ::Singsong voice:: Looks like someone’s all grown up and dating..
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vt_related_1&listing_id=38236196
January 27, 2010 at 5:29 pm
you guys are all cracking me up…mittens is everywhere. kinda like god, but not really…
January 27, 2010 at 5:43 pm
ok also? that creepy “pardon me” lady artwork interpretation?…lmfao!!!
January 27, 2010 at 5:47 pm
My fabric is on the hot list! woot!
I made some stuff to sell on zazzle too: http://www.zazzle.com/akritenbrink
Woot! woot!
January 27, 2010 at 5:51 pm
#17 razberries :
you guys are all cracking me up…mittens is everywhere. kinda like god, but not really…
Can we start a religion? Kind of like the Flying Spaghetti Monster Pastafarian thing? What would we call it? Whimsicle Bear Fuckery? Mittens is Love? Bearism?
January 27, 2010 at 5:58 pm
I just checked out Denny’s shoppe from the link above, and am glad to see that he’s charging a little more for his work now. Totally worth it!
January 27, 2010 at 6:01 pm
I especially love that the garden gnome is lounging so provocatively, with his pipe drawn away just so, his lips seem to be on the verge of telling me something that is unbearably sexy yet utterly cool. I am so crushing on the garden gnome.
January 27, 2010 at 6:06 pm
\shameless plug
Oh yeah. I mentioned this on the FB page, but I’ll mention it here too: Atomic Elephant in Red/Black and Salmon/Mustard colorways have been approved and are now available to buy for all your retro sewing fuckery.
\end shameless plug
January 27, 2010 at 6:14 pm
*gnome to alethiometrist in sexy melliferous Sean Connery voice “I was just thinking how you and I …WHAT Oh crap, I put my panties on top of my pants again!”*
January 27, 2010 at 6:27 pm
I needed all this whimsicle fuckery! Thanks all!
January 27, 2010 at 7:07 pm
I just mailed in my SKANTS entry….ooh oodalolly, such fun.
January 27, 2010 at 7:17 pm
That gnome… he WANTS me.
January 27, 2010 at 7:37 pm
‘Bout to leave work. I’m going home to work on my skants outfit.
January 27, 2010 at 7:47 pm
Back off, fatchissimo, the gnome’s mine
January 27, 2010 at 8:16 pm
I need to give up making creepy dolls and start making creepy gnomes! OMG, he is great!
January 27, 2010 at 8:23 pm
All this brilliant content is inspiring me to start working on a screenplay titled: “Rape Bear: The Bear That Rapes People”. Tagline? “He does it because it was done to him.”
This post really made my day, so thank you.
January 27, 2010 at 8:28 pm
You had me at “Giant, engorged mailbag.”
January 27, 2010 at 8:44 pm
@ Sudabaki “Can we start a religion? …What would we call it?”
Church of the Holy Ursine Reach-around?
I too am a sucker for cute chicklets
January 27, 2010 at 8:58 pm
If I were going to take a picture of me looking at the picture, I would require that I wear a necklace of the picture.
This would be my version of the Stephen Colbert painting. http://content.ytmnd.com/content/f/0/9/f094759f1faf670e6738263625d862dc.jpg
January 27, 2010 at 10:04 pm
I can’t fully explain how happy the chicken ponchos have made me. In fact I’m going to in the future describe happiness as “that chicken poncho feeling”
January 27, 2010 at 10:19 pm
Now I’m picturing the gnome saying “Hey. How YOU doin’?”
Although I like clevercat’s quip better.
January 27, 2010 at 10:23 pm
“#6:
Is there anything cuter than a chicken in a poncho?”
NO, there is not.
I am seriously considering purchasing a chicken, simply so that I may have a reason to procure this fine woolen accessory.
January 27, 2010 at 10:31 pm
Is the poncho compatible with a duckling should I be unable to obtain a chicken?
January 27, 2010 at 11:27 pm
No! A Denny Pinkham painting of Sofa City Sweetheart looking at the picture of herself kissing the painting of the people wearing the jewelry in the painting!
January 28, 2010 at 1:55 am
Have ordered from Spoonflower and promise to share my Vagoo (creation) with all of you Dingleberrys. I’m planning a little high fashion fuckery.
January 28, 2010 at 5:47 am
Trying to explain the beauty of Regretsy to someone who has never seen it or heard of it is a difficult thing. Yea, he laughed politely but looks like I need to get him hooked.
January 28, 2010 at 7:08 am
has the dingleberry plaid been pulled?
January 28, 2010 at 7:11 am
oh, nevermind… it’s coming up now.
thanks for the morning fuckery, hellen.
January 28, 2010 at 8:20 am
#35 Greenfuzz- I agree! That chicken poncho makes me laugh!!!
January 28, 2010 at 9:00 am
“38 urbangriever :
Is the poncho compatible with a duckling should I be unable to obtain a chicken?”
Where do you live where it’s impossible to obtain a chicken?
Can I guess? Is it Antarctica? (Well, I would be wrong, they do have chickens there, it’s just that they wear tuxedos, and why would one want to wear a poncho over a tuxedo?)
January 28, 2010 at 12:22 pm
Ok, I finally put my “Regretsy Paisley” up for sale on Spoonflower, sorry for the delay to everyone who requsted it: http://www.spoonflower.com/fabric/140677
And I put up a couple of things on zazzle. I’d like to go ahead and put any profits from these things (small though they may be) right into the “alchemy” fund, does anyone know if there is a way to make that automatic?
January 28, 2010 at 1:28 pm
I’m never going skiing again.
And that chick in a sweater is my new desktop pic.
January 28, 2010 at 2:50 pm
Thanks #18. That was my tribute art, as that ridic song has been stuck in my head for days. There was just something so magical about her hand gestures and flight attendant’s suit…and then Denny’s picture-perfect opportunity.
January 29, 2010 at 8:33 am
OMG that lil chick is so damn cute!
January 29, 2010 at 4:40 pm
#39- I would shit my pants if that became a reality, it would be so awesome.