people of walmartlamebookregretsy

JP. Toad’s

Posted by Helen Killer 104 comments

THIS IS NOT AN ENDANGERIOUS SPECIES AND BESIDES WE ONLY USED THE TOP HALK

UPDATE:

- Thanks, Shaebay

104 Comments
Jan 25, 2010
9:32 am
#1 HelenaHandbasket :
Did the creator lick all of the hallucinogens off before proceeding?

Rate this comment: Thumb up Thumb down +97

Jan 25, 2010
9:36 am
#2 Avatard :
OMG!! Not only is THIS disgusting, look at the other items. It is NAZI memorabilia!!

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Jan 25, 2010
9:36 am
#3 Skully :
DO NOT LOOK FOR THESE IN ANY RETAIL MARKET AS THEY ARE NOT CIRCULATORY. ALSO FOR SALE, LEATHER CHOPSTICK HOLDER MADE FROM BOTTOM HALK.

Rate this comment: Thumb up Thumb down +101

Jan 25, 2010
9:40 am
#4 CoyPowers :
“Let me count out your change from my ‘halk a toad’ purse…What? No, it’s not endangerous….You don’t care about the change? Oh, okay.”

Yes, this thing would pay for itself, if you were to use it to hold change. Who would want anything that came out?
Also, I’m very displeased that you don’t pull the money out from the mouth.

Rate this comment: Thumb up Thumb down +103

Jan 25, 2010
9:42 am
#5 enamy :

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Jan 25, 2010
9:44 am
#6 leahfu :
yeah seriously, this person needs to rework her top halk toad leather coin purse so it opens at the mouth.

Rate this comment: Thumb up Thumb down +33

Jan 25, 2010
9:44 am
#7 Skully :
$65 is a little steep, I’ll wait for the sale: ALL FROGS HALK OFF.

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Jan 25, 2010
9:44 am
I was totally NOT surprised that the seller is from Australia. My dear friend is from Australia and cane toads are an ecosystem destroyer. Though he says they usually just try to hit them with their cars as they drive and he’s partaken in a few rounds of “cane toad golf” in his day.

But that said… that thing is hideous. And I too, am saddened that we can’t pull the change from the mouth. Because it wouldn’t be AS hideous if it had that option.

Rate this comment: Thumb up Thumb down +32

Jan 25, 2010
9:46 am
#9 Saraf :
nothing really wrong with this listing, it’s a perfectly fine piece of WWII memorabilia. But check out the top of the first picture… the seller has an interesting way of staging his wares

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=36616762

Rate this comment: Thumb up Thumb down +11

Jan 25, 2010
9:46 am
#10 smurfy12b :
I totally want the bottom half…that way the coins can ‘poop’ out of him.

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Jan 25, 2010
9:46 am
#11 reqbat :
i find myself strangely stumped as to the appropriate emoticon to use for this particular regretsy entry.

D:

doesn’t fully convey how i feel

Rate this comment: Thumb up Thumb down +31

Jan 25, 2010
9:49 am
#12 mimiomi :
Why do the arms look like it’s trying to run away?

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Jan 25, 2010
9:50 am
#13 vergeofsomething :
I’m just giggling like a fiend. WTF does not even begin to cover it.

Rate this comment: Thumb up Thumb down +23

Jan 25, 2010
9:50 am
#14 Whisperia :
@#5: They’re not illegal in all countries, but they are certainly illegal in Canada, which is where she’s shipping them from.

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Jan 25, 2010
9:52 am
#15 Wilma Fingerdoo :
#10- Bottom Halk was likely eaten, frog legs are a delicacy, after all.

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Jan 25, 2010
9:52 am
#16 say what! :
Have you guys noticed the spelling in the actual listing has been corrected now…Hmmmm

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Jan 25, 2010
9:53 am
#17 Recovering Crack Baby :
Who wants to go halksies on one of these? I’ll take the top cand you the bottom.

Rate this comment: Thumb up Thumb down +78

Jan 25, 2010
9:53 am
#14- I saw “Victoria” and thought “Australia”.

But then, despite being American and when I see “WA”, I automatically think “Western Australia”, not Washington state. ;)

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Jan 25, 2010
9:54 am
#19 istillheartbretmichaels :
preserving things that are naturally biodegradeable can’t be good for the ecosystem either . . .

Rate this comment: Thumb up Thumb down +21

Jan 25, 2010
9:55 am
#20 Avatard :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

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Jan 25, 2010
9:56 am
#21 istillheartbretmichaels :
*biodegradable. woops.

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Jan 25, 2010
9:56 am
#22 giant_tostada :
WTF.. besides being hideously ugly, it’s also impractical. Shouldn’t a coin purse be kind of flat to fit inside something else, and not have jacked-up legs sticking out at 2 different angles?

Rate this comment: Thumb up Thumb down +39

Jan 25, 2010
9:57 am
#23 biggles5 :
He should’ve put googly eyes on it.

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Jan 25, 2010
9:59 am
#24 Recovering Crack Baby :
ENDANGERIOUS SPECIES- Handicrafted Artists

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Jan 25, 2010
10:00 am
#25 wonderlucky :
When I was in Australia I saw all sorts of cane toad souvenirs in retail shops. Some of them ‘functional’ like this one, some of them just plain weird (a taxidermied frog stood up on a stand, playing a guitar? ok then). Seller is correct in pointing out that cane toads are a nuisance pest in Australia, but this has “souvenir I don’t want anymore, and hey, SOMEONE hand-made it!” written all over its lumpy leather hide.

Rate this comment: Thumb up Thumb down +35

Jan 25, 2010
10:00 am
#26 Saraf :

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Jan 25, 2010
10:01 am
#27 razberries :
it looks like a flattened turd! and ew…i see what you’re saying patty about ecosystem destroyers, but i’m an animal lover and think that statement that the seller uses, “note these are pests” is still a bit off-putting.
i own two red eared slider turtles- i guess they’re forbidden in some places- think autstralia? but i wouldn’t put that they’re pests in an etsy listing, either…
but i agree, the thing is hideous

Rate this comment: Thumb up Thumb down +5

Jan 25, 2010
10:01 am
#28 Whisperia :
#17- It definitely says “Ships from: Canada” under shipping. She’d be fine if she were in Australia, though. They don’t appear to be illegal there. But here in Canada, they’re classified as a martial arts weapon and possessing them is a criminal offense.

Rate this comment: Thumb up Thumb down +21

Jan 25, 2010
10:03 am
#29 methuselah :
Seller appears to be some old codger selling off crap he’s collected over the years that he thinks is worth something. Or maybe it’s what he inherited from dear old dad. Looks like he’s trying to get around ebay fees and restrictions. It’s a creepy bunch of junk that doesn’t belong on etsy.

Rate this comment: Thumb up Thumb down +36

Jan 25, 2010
10:05 am
#30 henmen :
package may jump in transit

Rate this comment: Thumb up Thumb down +34

Jan 25, 2010
10:06 am
#31 Kimmer-G :
Gophers are huge pests in Saskatchewan. Should I hack one in halk and make a clutch purse out of it?

Rate this comment: Thumb up Thumb down +59

Jan 25, 2010
10:12 am
#27- REAL martial artists don’t need brass knuckles ;) I know there’s a Chuck Norris joke in there somewhere…

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Jan 25, 2010
10:12 am
I agree with the rest–if that ships from Victoria BC, it wasn’t made there. Looks totally like an Aussie souvenir. Cane toads are such a scourge in Aus there’s a bounty on them. Will somebody get that toad a wheelchair?

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Jan 25, 2010
10:12 am
#34 razberries :
look at this shit!
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=39232442
i know this is “history” but it’s a bad part of history, not a good one…can’t believe he is trying to sell that
this reminds me of the post with the wooden cut-outs of the children in the racist “black face”

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Jan 25, 2010
10:17 am
#35 mhinshaw :
Watch the Cane Toad documentary http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0130529/

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Jan 25, 2010
10:18 am
#36 willandwont :

ewww…

This is just sad, but I’m sure someone would probably buy it. http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=34965935

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Jan 25, 2010
10:22 am
#37 fluffynotfat :
I saw whole (not halk) frog purses in Mexico, I told my daughter I was getting her one as a joke. The next time she asked for a wallet as a gift she added that she didn’t want a frog or to pull quarters from a squirrel’s ass…

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Jan 25, 2010
10:23 am
#38 Avatard :
Thanks, #34 razberries. I was so distracted by this shit I burned up my tea pot boiling water for tea.

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Jan 25, 2010
10:28 am
#39 angie :
i do believe it’s trying to drag its top halk away by it’s little toady front legs.

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Jan 25, 2010
10:31 am
#40 Rowan :
Shame he didn’t take a que from other Etsy crafters and bedazzle that Aussie souvenir. He could then put a snap closure on its little frog legs so it could be hung from a purse strap. No more searching for your change purse now ladies!

#9 Saraf Yeah I saw the foot and thought if he manages to sell anything hopefully he’ll get a pedicure or a podiatrist.

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Jan 25, 2010
10:38 am
#41 envy :
cane toads are an alien invasive species… but then, so are european sparrows. I kill them because they prey upon / destroy my bluebirds nests… but I’m not going to go all taxidermist on them and make them into pencil cups or something.

The nazi crap in this shop combined with the black-face children postcards is really doing nothing to make this more humorous… much less that it’s an Aussie selling this crap.

Totally halk-assed.

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Jan 25, 2010
10:38 am
#42 Recovering Crack Baby :
People here take more pride in their pest reduction jobs. They hang em on the walls for all to see.

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Jan 25, 2010
10:52 am
#43 enamy :
i just noticed the price on this thing. oh dear…

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Jan 25, 2010
10:55 am
#44 Skully :

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Jan 25, 2010
10:59 am
#45 Christina :
If it were a keychain I’d so be in. Who wouldn’t want a genuine halk toad attached to their house key? It’s fun and practical. He should have labeled it “couture” not pest, people would have swarmed to it like flies on poop. Some people are just deranged.

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Jan 25, 2010
11:04 am
#46 Kimmer-G :

Skully!! I just looked at your twitpic and then saw your OMEA/HCMM combo! You did it!! Gold. :)

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Jan 25, 2010
11:05 am
#47 kipper :
Dismembered frog purses + Nazi & picaninny memorabilia. Quite the winning combo.

Where WTF meets WTF.

Rate this comment: Thumb up Thumb down +41

Jan 25, 2010
11:08 am
#48 razberries :
skully, ya beat me to it…here’s my kermit version
http://www.flickr.com/photos/27900808@N06/4303798283/

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Jan 25, 2010
11:09 am
#49 Kathleen in Canada :
@ #34… I wonder if it’s even “history”. Look at the spelling on the card and compare it to the seller’s spelling. Throat spelled as throt?

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Jan 25, 2010
11:10 am
#50 Moons in Leo :
Totally educated guess about this tattoo artist. Thinking he escaped from WWII Japan and is reliving the magic every day by using the skills he acquired in the tropical forests to craft useful items out of dead reptiles.
When not actually at work sawing amphibians in half, he reminisces about the good old days of Nazi Germany and the segregated U.S.

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Jan 25, 2010
11:14 am
#51 kipper :
Hey, wait a minute…

Is this another one of Vanessa VanAlstyne’s art hoax characters?

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Jan 25, 2010
11:17 am
#52 jackie31337 :
@methusalah #29: ebay, etsy, it’s only a 2-letter difference. I can see how people might get confused. (/sarcasm)

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Jan 25, 2010
11:17 am
#53 Texchanchan :
#9 saraf
Is it still true that the Japanese consider the foot the most degraded part of the body (_Daughter of the Samurai_, Sugimoto)? I’m not Japanese, and I still think it’s pretty insulting to stick your big old ugly foot next to a flag. Of course, depending on whose flag it is, you might want to be insulting.

This guy, however, is just a doofus.

OT: Thanks for the help the other day, Saraf.

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Jan 25, 2010
11:19 am
#54 AreYouGoingToEatThatPickle :
This amphibious monstrosity aside, from an antiques junkie’s perspective, this seller has a decent collection of desireable, albeit dark items; provided the right audience is reached.

Both Black Americana and German war items are increasingly desireable collectibles, and as demand increases, so do values.

…as for the brass knuckles, if it can be proven that they are military issue, a permit to posses them as military paraphernalia can likely be obtained.

May the thumbs down commence!

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Jan 25, 2010
11:23 am
#55 clevercat :
razberries Peeing in my pants -If I wasn’t supposed to be working I would try to photoshop halk of something for you all.

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Jan 25, 2010
11:26 am
#56 Skully :
@#43 KG: I had to run that combo through the watercolor effect, glad you like it!

@#45 Raz: LOL, don’t piss off Miss Piggy!

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Jan 25, 2010
11:45 am
#57 Whisperia :
#51: It’s possible that he’s been approved as a weapons collector by the authorities. But even if that’s the case, he can only sell to another collector.

Found this about it: “No new prohibited-weapons collectors are being authorized. Consequently, as collectors pass away, their collections are concentrating in fewer and fewer hands and, ultimately, when the last collector dies, all of those weapons will be destroyed.”

If I were Etsy, I’d be taking this listing the hell down.

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Jan 25, 2010
12:09 pm
#58 crb :
I don’t know why but I really like the fact that it appears he scanned the toad as opposed to photographing it.

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Jan 25, 2010
12:44 pm
#59 domesticnature :
If you have not seen it already, you must get your hands on the following film, which chronicles the history of the Cane Toad in Australia, and Australians’ love-hate relationship with it:
http://www.amazon.com/Cane-Toads-Unnatural-History-VHS/dp/6302212812

I am particularly thinking about a scene in which an adorable little moppet dresses a cane toad in a frilly doll costume. That girl would be horrified to see this taxidermy job.

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Jan 25, 2010
12:45 pm

Skully, Raz–poor Kermit! :lol:

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Jan 25, 2010
12:59 pm
#61 shaebay :

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Jan 25, 2010
1:03 pm
#62 lyontamer :
I want one with a stick in, so I can dress it up and put it out next to the lawn goose.

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Jan 25, 2010
1:05 pm
#63 lyontamer :
#54 Thumbs-up here! I know someone who collects WW2 stuff not because he likes Nazis or racism, but because it was indeed a dark time, and it’s important that we not forget about it and repeat it.

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Jan 25, 2010
1:08 pm
#64 Feel Free To Customise and Whimsiclise My Vagina :
somewhere out there, in a land far … far away… lots of little bottom halks are hopping around…… looking for their top halks………

But don’t worry, they are not endangerous, they still have their lower half.

Um ok aside from that this is fucking gross and i was about to have my breakfast!

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Jan 25, 2010
1:08 pm
#65 lyontamer :
I’m a little curious, if these are genuine WW2-era items, why Etsy, and not an auction or antiques shop? Did he have them appraised somewhere first?

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Jan 25, 2010
1:12 pm
#66 sudabaki© :

Ack, it’s a little hard not to want to get my tinfoil hat when my comment disappears.

I mentioned that one of his favorite materials in his bio is watercolor? Also I noticed that Sailor Jerry Swallow seems to have somewhat of a presence on the internet.

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Jan 25, 2010
1:12 pm
#67 Feel Free To Customise and Whimsiclise My Vagina :
theres no way the seller made this.

yeah it might have been handmade as they state in the listing but its not made by this guys hands thats for sure.

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Jan 25, 2010
1:14 pm
#68 lyontamer :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

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Jan 25, 2010
1:24 pm
The dancing toad! :lol:

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Jan 25, 2010
1:26 pm
#70 raven :
It would be better if it had some bling bling on it!

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Jan 25, 2010
1:28 pm
#71 joan of snark :
In the final, violent moments of its life, the toad took great comfort in the knowledge that it was not in any way a member of an endangerious species.

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Jan 25, 2010
1:38 pm
#9……I had one of those flags once (got it an estate of vintage clothing), sold it on eBay for wayyyy less. Maybe it was my failure to show a nasty naked foot with it.

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Jan 25, 2010
1:45 pm
#73 NinjaGato :
Yeah look at the rest of the shop. Littered with racist memorabilia.

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Jan 25, 2010
1:49 pm
We have an invasive pest species where I live. Tumbleweeds. I once saw a woman who made tens of thousands of dollars spray-painting them gold and selling them online. That was way more impressive than this.

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Jan 25, 2010
1:56 pm
#75 Noadi :
Cane toads aren’t just invasive they are a menace in Australia, towns hold big cane toad killing parties to destroy as many as possible. This is a hideous item but it’s one less highly poisonous toad killing Australian wildlife.

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Jan 25, 2010
2:21 pm
#76 Withnail :
# 63, how exactly is collecting WWII souveniers important for not forgetting or repeating the war? Oh, I was thinking about invading Poland again but after looking at the Nazi china collection in my cupboard I changed my mind.

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Jan 25, 2010
2:56 pm
#77 Skully :
Nice job on the dancing toad, Shaebay! Hilarious!

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Jan 25, 2010
3:05 pm
#78 VoteAudrey :
Now that I’ve seen that fungal foot (thanks #9/26), I simply can’t purchase this delightful item.

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Jan 25, 2010
3:19 pm
#79 RachelDollarhide :
My friend and I were just talking, then I linked her to this.

HER 3:13 pm
Chloe (her dog) went into the cow pasture and I put her in my room for time out
Well she evidently had a frog in her mouth
So there was a dead frog with no back legs on my bedroom floor
ME: 3:14 pm
omg, you can now make a change purse!

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Jan 25, 2010
3:30 pm
#80 whaapplewha :
This is not only ENDANGERIOUS, it is DISGUSTING. Oh, and FUCKED UP.

:)

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Jan 25, 2010
3:32 pm
#81 crapgawker :
It may not be much to look at, but it has some serious dancing skills!

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Jan 25, 2010
3:35 pm
#82 whaapplewha :

#9, This is just like the Charles and Diana post from a while back…
http://www.regretsy.com/2009/12/02/never-say-di/#comments

Can you spot the toa…er… toe?

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Jan 25, 2010
4:21 pm
#83 RedOrange :
De-lurked to say this is NOT handmade. These things are big business in North Queensland.. I grew up there. Cane Toad bow-tie anyone?
http://www.univenter.com/cane-toad.html
The taxidermy ones holding small alcohol bottles are particularly popular.

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Jan 25, 2010
4:41 pm
#84 BettyMachete :
My kids are pests sometimes. They are not amputated handbags. Yet.

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Jan 25, 2010
5:14 pm
#85 aynart :

speaking of toads & australia…

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/01/25/toad-killings-mass-toad-s_n_435943.html

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Jan 25, 2010
5:19 pm
Seriously, I was just about to eat dinner BEFORE I saw this. Something about seeing it “dance,” like it was writhing in pain after having just been cut in half and had not yet died….ughhhhhh! Why, why would you want this in your purse or pocket? Why would you want to store ANYTHING inside half of a dead toad? I have never seen a dead body of any kind and said, “Hey! I should add a zipper to that and put things in there to keep them safe so I don’t lose them!”

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Jan 25, 2010
5:28 pm

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Jan 25, 2010
5:29 pm
#88 StinkBait :
My only question is why is this person selling this on Etsy?

It will probably sell on here but he or she would make a lot more money selling the stuff on Ebay or another site.

I sold some Nazi poker chips that my grandfather swiped from God knows where in Germany and I sold them on Ebay, starting bid 20 bucks. $650.00 later I was VERY happy to get rid of them.

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Jan 25, 2010
5:39 pm
#89 batontwirler1 :
#28 – At first I thought you were saying that toad halks were classified as martial arts weapons. I suppose if you had alot of them and were throwing them at people, it would be quite endangerious.

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Jan 25, 2010
5:40 pm
#90 Ivriniel :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

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Jan 25, 2010
5:42 pm
#91 StinkBait :
BTW most of their vintage stuff in that shop is overpriced. Most WW2 medals go for half what he or she is asking. That merit Cross they are selling isn’t worth even half of what they are asking for it, especially in that condition. The Germans gave that medal out during the war to almost every soldier. Most medals from any country during WW2 isn’t worth as much as you may think, even in perfect condition.

Sorry-I’m sort of a WW2 Buff.

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Jan 25, 2010
5:53 pm
#92 StinkBait :
This is a ribbon worth money…

http://cgi.ebay.com/Superb-Huge-Mexican-War-Veterans-Medal-with-Ribbon_W0QQitemZ190366457303QQcmdZViewItemQQptZLH_DefaultDomain_0?hash=item2c52b99dd7

Note: It’s from the Mexican war. If you look even a lot of the Civil War medals aren’t worth much.

Ok I am rambling on about shit none of you care about.

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Jan 25, 2010
6:44 pm
#93 Vile & Evil Debbie Downer :

This will go PERFECTLY with my cobraskin purse! (yes really). Hey, nothing beats dead things for theft protection.

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Jan 25, 2010
7:22 pm
#94 AndreaN :

Like Patty, I too thought somewhere in the Melbourne area… which would make sense, since the cane toad is a menace there and needs eradication, in which case this ostensibly would be an environmentally responsible and even desirable purchase. However, I too would prefer to have my cane toad purse spit money from its maw. I am torn.

Victoria BC was my second thought, but only because of the offensive cupie doll postcards. History is, well, what it is.

I want a coin spewing toad…

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Jan 25, 2010
8:36 pm

#87 – It looks like Jabba the Hut is boggying down. I’m not certain I needed that mental image, but it is funny.

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Jan 25, 2010
10:44 pm
#96 snarkeygirl :

They’re poisonous, too? That’s just the final straw in my choice to not buy this!

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Jan 25, 2010
11:12 pm

In other words the seller catches and decapitates them by his or herself. I am mortified right now.

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Jan 26, 2010
12:26 am
#98 theladyrobin :

So what I want to know is why is there motion blur on the legs on this poor creature? Was this toad alive CAND moving while it was turned into a purse? Because that would be very ENDANGEROUS for the toad.

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Jan 26, 2010
2:31 pm
#99 susanave :

The brass knuckles get me. They are illegal

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Jan 26, 2010
2:37 pm
#100 ShimmyBlimp :
I served a man in my shop who has one of these. I told him that it was disgusting the first time I saw it and now everytime he comes into the shop he hides the head in his hands.. either he is hiding it from me, or hiding it because he’s ashamed, or other people have told him it’s gross, I don’t know, but he still has it.!

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Jan 27, 2010
5:20 am
#101 goobly :

i live in surfers paradise (gold coast, australia). there are a slew of souvenir shops here, most of which sell cane toad related items (wallets, preserved bodies in weird poses). its not unusual to see kangaroo scrotum purses for sale either

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Jan 27, 2010
11:45 am
#102 PussDaddy :

:-(

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Jan 27, 2010
1:53 pm
#103 SuperSnark :

In a very bizarre, sad way, the seller should use the “dancing” image if it was possible, it’s more appealing looking like it is still alive.

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Feb 5, 2010
3:44 am
#104 ViolenceJack :

Been living in Okinawa since October, and I’ve seen a whole bunch of these things in souvenir shops on Kokusai Dori, the main shopping street in Naha if you want cheap junk as a souvenir.

$65 is way overpriced. They’re a mass-produced item, and I have no idea why they sell them to tourists here.

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