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Spaghetti Bender

Posted by Helen Killer

80 comments

“This painting is so bad it actually made me laugh while I was making it! That’ll be $25.”

Filed in Annoying Descriptions, Art 80 comments

80 Comments

Add Comment

Jan 23, 2010
4:06 pm

#1 sudabaki© :

Ewwwww, it looks like a splat of hairy diarrhea!

Rate this comment: +73

Jan 23, 2010
4:07 pm

#2 XvMoonChildvX :

Looks like a one year old actually crapped on it, actually.

Rate this comment: +25

Jan 23, 2010
4:07 pm

#3 bffm79 :

It looks like one year old dried up puke.

Rate this comment: +7

Jan 23, 2010
4:08 pm

#4 myrab :

i wonder if the vagina painting artists ever laugh out loud while making their art.

Rate this comment: +72

Jan 23, 2010
4:11 pm

#5 blondeweezie :

Looks like a hairball the cat hocked up.

Rate this comment: +11

Jan 23, 2010
4:12 pm

#6 VoteAudrey :

I think when you title your art, “Crafter Undone,” you know you’ve lost the battle with your inner one year old.

Rate this comment: +18

Jan 23, 2010
4:12 pm

#7 razberries :

we’ve had quite a few poop/puke-inspired artists featured this week…LOL
sudabaki, all i could think was, someone definitely had a colon cleansing

Rate this comment: +8

Jan 23, 2010
4:12 pm

#8 cratz :

I’m trying not to look at it again because it made me gag the first time.

Rate this comment: +17

Jan 23, 2010
4:13 pm

#9 Rob T Firefly :

Cat hairball remedy is a hell of a drug.

Rate this comment: +14

Jan 23, 2010
4:14 pm

#10 susanave :

I thought it was poop. Really gross

Rate this comment: +4

Jan 23, 2010
4:19 pm

#11 razberries :

some of her embroidery is also a bit odd??…
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?
ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=34195100

Rate this comment: 0

Jan 23, 2010
4:20 pm

#12 sudabaki© :

#7 razberries : “we’ve had quite a few poop/puke-inspired artists featured this week…LOL”

I find myself missing the days of all the vagina posts.

And yes, it looks like the results of a colon cleansing at a trichophagia clinic.

I think I’m m

Rate this comment: +6

Jan 23, 2010
4:21 pm

#13 sudabaki© :

Damn that we can’t edit. I don’t know what the hell that last line was.

Raz, your link doesn’t go anywhere. Wonder if she pulled the item?

Rate this comment: 0

Jan 23, 2010
4:22 pm

#14 sudabaki© :

Oh wait, it just put it on two lines so it’s not a link

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=34195100

Rate this comment: +1

Jan 23, 2010
4:24 pm

#15 janncri :

I thought we decided the Colonix detox was a fraud…

Rate this comment: +7

Jan 23, 2010
4:25 pm

#16 bumKittens :

What I find the most disgusting is that she was originally selling this piece of shit (pun most definitely intended) for $75.

Rate this comment: +7

Jan 23, 2010
4:25 pm

#17 txesg :

Someone posted a link a while back to images of a placenta that I have been working hard to delete from my brain. This brought it all back vividly, thanks so much.

Rate this comment: +13

Jan 23, 2010
4:26 pm

#18 slappyknuckles :

I laughed, I cried, I puked…well I better go straighten myself up now..if this sells i will eat my cats next hairball that she barfs up

Rate this comment: +5

Jan 23, 2010
4:28 pm

#19 kitty :

What is with the pictures that show how far the “strings” stick up?

I think we deserve a “view it in a room”. How about in an elementary cafeteria?

Rate this comment: +17

Jan 23, 2010
4:29 pm

#20 Thistle :

it looks like she used the leftovers from the crab piece.

Rate this comment: 0

Jan 23, 2010
4:32 pm

#21 joan of snark :

Even with the discount this is still overpriced. A fecal exam and deworming pills for your puppy shouldn’t cost more than $20.

Rate this comment: +16

Jan 23, 2010
4:33 pm

#22 everydaymama1 :

Eeeewwwwww!! That just looks disgusting. Like… Well like something I would never want hanging on my wall, or anywhere else for that matter.

Rate this comment: +1

Jan 23, 2010
4:35 pm

#23 Kathleen in Canada :

@ #18… wait… don’t eat the hairball. If hers sells I’d slap it onto a canvas and sell it for $25

Rate this comment: +1

Jan 23, 2010
4:36 pm

#24 janncri :

That does look like a big pile of puppy on dewormer shit. Thanks for that visual joan of snark

Rate this comment: +2

Jan 23, 2010
4:41 pm

#25 PrincessPugicorn :

i think i ate that at subway once. but they called it meatball sunset.

Rate this comment: +15

Jan 23, 2010
4:51 pm

#26 voxwoman :

If she just glued a pair of googly eyes on it, she could have marketed that to an unsuspecting Pastafarian.

Rate this comment: +15

Jan 23, 2010
5:00 pm

#27 IscreamUscream :

I thought of p’shopping a puppy on this, but I didn’t want to implicate the innocent.

Rate this comment: +2

Jan 23, 2010
5:07 pm

#28 Dix :

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Why not just let your cat puke . . .

Rate this comment: -2

Jan 23, 2010
5:10 pm

#29 HelenaHandbasket :

If this new Healthcare thingy passes, do you think she’ll be better able to keep her prescriptions current?

Rate this comment: +6

Jan 23, 2010
5:13 pm

#30 blondeweezie :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -3

Jan 23, 2010
5:13 pm

#31 leftfoot :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -4

Jan 23, 2010
5:15 pm

#32 leftfoot :

About 3 years ago my dog ate a dryer sheet. I didn’t know until I woke up the next morning.. My walls DID look like this.

Rate this comment: +5

Jan 23, 2010
5:16 pm

#33 leftfoot :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -3

Jan 23, 2010
5:22 pm

#34 razberries :

sudabaki, whoops about that broken link i posted and thanks…LOL
i didn’t even notice the ridiculous pricing on that one…and i LOL’d at *this* part of the description for it…

“This painting was originally $300 and is on sale for $100 because I am moving. ”

i guess she thought that made it a bargain, huh? she must have really needed some fast cash for her move or something, otherwise i don’t know why she’d offer such a “deep” discount on something that is so overpriced?…

Rate this comment: +1

Jan 23, 2010
5:23 pm

#35 carnival :

Ya couldn’t have picked any other color???

Rate this comment: +5

Jan 23, 2010
6:12 pm

#36 Lucretia Borgia :

Oh my God …. Jackson Pollock LIVES AGAIN! This is scary ….

Rate this comment: -2

Jan 23, 2010
6:36 pm

#37 whaapplewha :

Did someone just Jackson Pollock a tampon onto a canvas?

Rate this comment: +7

Jan 23, 2010
6:39 pm

#38 ThisJustMakesMeSad :

That looks nothing like spaghetti that a toddler would throw against a wall, and looks everything like what you might find in an infants diaper.

Rate this comment: +1

Jan 23, 2010
6:41 pm

#39 HomeAlone :

I knew I’d seen this somewhere before: http://www.parasitecleanse.com/images/roundworms05.jpg

Rate this comment: 0

Jan 23, 2010
7:13 pm

#40 Madeline :

Actually, Helen Killer, I’d put this under “Annoying Descriptions” and maybe come up with a new category: “Bodily Functions.”

Rate this comment: +9

Jan 23, 2010
7:29 pm

#41 Captain Pasty :

i wonder if you’ll find ghost crabs in there

Rate this comment: +5

Jan 23, 2010
7:33 pm

#42 polaroidart :

I’m laughing out loud myself right now..
(aaaaaaall alone in my room).
Am I alone? I think I hear voices…
oh, never mind, that’s my lawn goose telling me
something.

Rate this comment: +19

Jan 23, 2010
7:54 pm

#43 Kiwihasdreads :

It -was- spaghetti…about 8 hours ago when it went into her mouth…

Rate this comment: +8

Jan 23, 2010
7:58 pm

#44 libertyangel :

I read the description in this one and thought WOW I have at LEAST that much skill!
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=12118555

Rate this comment: -1

Jan 23, 2010
8:05 pm

#45 Vile & Evil Debbie Downer :

#26 voxwoman – you’re absolutely right. This is an unfinished Pastafarian icon.

http://twitpic.com/zhg5h

Rate this comment: +8

Jan 23, 2010
8:30 pm

#46 Feel Free To Customise and Whimsiclise My Vagina :

Ya know, this is the kind of “art” crap that makes me want to do an all out etsy call out on the forums, saying wake the fuck up etsy, and start jurying the site, or you are going start losing people with real talent as etsy starts to slowly get a bad name because of utter shit like this.

Rate this comment: +4

Jan 23, 2010
8:32 pm

#47 UnaBee :

Ah yes, the beauty of the ocean at low tide…that’s when you can see how pointy the horizon really is.
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=29962305

Rate this comment: +3

Jan 23, 2010
8:32 pm

#48 Feel Free To Customise and Whimsiclise My Vagina :

If it sells I’m doing an all out call out.

Rate this comment: +3

Jan 23, 2010
8:58 pm

#49 NinjaGato :

So I can take a shit on canvas and sell it on Etsy for $25?

Rate this comment: +4

Jan 23, 2010
9:01 pm

#50 Thistle :

#49 NG: eat beets.

Rate this comment: +5

Jan 23, 2010
9:08 pm

#51 Feel Free To Customise and Whimsiclise My Vagina :

This thing just has absolutely no merit about it. Theres nothing. I mean fuck what possesses someone to firstly create it and secondly think its good enough to sell.

And then because it on here it probably WILL sell in a few hours, and this stupid wannabe hipster whatever she is will think the painting was good, and not even realise she was on regretsy. Will probably think she had been on the front page or something.

Oh man this makes me angry!!!

Jury etsy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rate this comment: +3

Jan 23, 2010
9:08 pm

#52 MissMary :

Spaghetti Vomit Number 5. With Tequila.

Rate this comment: +6

Jan 23, 2010
9:09 pm

#53 polaroidart :

Jan 23, 2010
7:58 pm
#44 libertyangel :

I read the description in this one and thought WOW I have at LEAST that much skill!
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=12118555
…….
Hahahaha *snort*

“I had been dreaming of the beautiful hiking we had done the day before, the layers upon layers of green…when suddenly this girl-doll jumped up and bit my hand.”

Rate this comment: +4

Jan 23, 2010
9:10 pm

#54 polaroidart :

…..that is some gooooog shrooms, I must say.

Rate this comment: +7

Jan 23, 2010
9:10 pm

#55 polaroidart :

*good* damn it

Rate this comment: +4

Jan 23, 2010
9:17 pm

#56 ciaohowdy :

Allow me to translate (in parens)
This was $75, now $25! (I’m running low on crack)
This painting is a little (completely) on the silly side(a piece of crap on canvas) I actually laughed out loud (smoked my last rock) all alone in my studio (van) and this painting was born (I had no where to take a dump except on this canvas).

Rate this comment: +20

Jan 23, 2010
9:18 pm

#57 Feel Free To Customise and Whimsiclise My Vagina :

She is probably so off in la la land cackling away in her studio that she probably hasnt even HEARD of regretsy.

Say what?

Rate this comment: +6

Jan 23, 2010
10:19 pm

#58 Recovering Crack Baby :

I needd to get a canvas to set beside the dinner table and when my toddler sneezes use it as a shield and then sell it.

Rate this comment: -1

Jan 23, 2010
10:23 pm

#59 yourfirefly86 :

now i can’t look at this piece of art without thinking of a surgical incision that just won’t heal right…
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=11742751

Rate this comment: +5

Jan 23, 2010
10:27 pm

#60 Chrisnyc1213 :

This should be retitled, “What To Expect in the Litterbox When Kitty Eats Grandma’s Needlepoint.”

Rate this comment: +5

Jan 23, 2010
10:32 pm

#61 whaapplewha :

You HAVE to click on the link and look at the side views of this piece of cra…art. It’s even more disgusting than you might think.
I highly recommend it.

Rate this comment: +3

Jan 24, 2010
12:53 am

#62 snarkeygirl :

*ducking to avoid head traumas* I kinda like the rainforest painting, except for the doll’s teeth. They don’t seem to be in the right places.

Rate this comment: +2

Jan 24, 2010
7:14 am

#63 Scarecrow :

This looks like a bathroom floor after someone tries to shave their vajayjay. With a chainsaw.

Rate this comment: +6

Jan 24, 2010
8:11 am

#64 MajorDanger :

You got a wild hare in your ass, threw some yarn at a piece of canvas, called it “art,” and have the audacity to try to sell it to gullible rubes?

Who do you think you are, Rosie O’Donnell?

Rate this comment: +11

Jan 24, 2010
8:48 am

#65 TooManyCookbooks :

Maybe it’s just me, but I think the definition of ‘art’ is meant to be a little more than just ’something adhered to a canvas’.

Rate this comment: +7

Jan 24, 2010
9:03 am

#66 buffoon :

looks a bit like what I sometimes have to manually pull out of my dog’s behind if he’s been eating grass…

Rate this comment: +3

Jan 24, 2010
9:39 am

#67 raven :

The artist’s descriptions in some of the other items are making me LOL

Rate this comment: +1

Jan 24, 2010
9:44 am

#68 flare :

i can’t believe the artist had to drop the price!

Rate this comment: +3

Jan 24, 2010
10:40 am

#69 StinkBait :

I can’t make a shit reference, because I’ve already filled up my quota for the month.

Rate this comment: +6

Jan 24, 2010
11:47 am

#70 starkeyfeather :

um.

she’s crazy.

Rate this comment: +3

Jan 24, 2010
12:47 pm

#71 crapgawker :

Oh no – the Hellcat from Chili’s hacked up on the canvas….

No wonder she’s discounted the damn thing.

Rate this comment: +3

Jan 24, 2010
2:44 pm

#72 brute :

Wow I didn’t know I could sell the hairballs my cat has been coughing up! Signing up for an Etsy shop right now!

Rate this comment: -2

Jan 24, 2010
4:07 pm

#73 EmilyStranger :

It looks like someone ate a merkin and shat it out on a canvas.

Rate this comment: -1

Jan 25, 2010
9:13 am

#74 Iterpy :

I think she laughed a little too hard.

Rate this comment: +2

Jan 25, 2010
10:04 am

#75 chefann :

Oh, please please tell me this is part one of a planned triptych celebrating the awesomeness of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

rAmen.

Rate this comment: 0

Jan 25, 2010
10:39 am

#76 istillheartbretmichaels :

#51 I admit this isn’t the greatest painting, but I don’t think it’s worth losing your shit over it. . .

Haaaa! I need a drink.

Rate this comment: +1

Jan 25, 2010
2:41 pm

#77 pdrunk :

Materials: That goop that you used to buy in the 70’s that made trippy balloons, hairballs from a cat, and primer on canvas, 2009/2010

As seen in Whitney Biennial

Rate this comment: -1

Jan 25, 2010
5:12 pm

#78 Teenthebean :

Omg I swear I’ve seen this before. But last time it was in a litter box after my cat got into my sewing basket O.o

Rate this comment: 0

Jan 25, 2010
6:52 pm

#79 FreshFruit :

It’s so evocative of smell, either vomited up hair and Chef Boyardee spag, or a smashed rotten, fermented “been there all summer” apple on the hot sidewalk. Both are utterly vile smells that lodge in your nose and refuse to evacuate. Much like the image of this painting has done in my brain.

Rate this comment: 0

Jan 27, 2010
9:36 am

#80 Helena :

I wish I had never seen this. I might never have spaghetti bolognese again.

Rate this comment: 0