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Starsucks

Posted by Helen Killer

47 comments

BE SAFE, CONTENTS ARE EXTREMELY HOT

Filed in Twilight 47 comments

47 Comments

Add Comment

Jan 21, 2010
11:16 am

#1 whaapplewha :

I don’t think that Edward Cullen would want me to “be” anything, because.he.is.not.real.

Rate this comment: +87

Jan 21, 2010
11:17 am

#2 Dynomoose :

What? It doesn’t even sparkle!

Rate this comment: +88

Jan 21, 2010
11:19 am

#3 jeffreyrcarey :

This will save the Starbucks cardboard coffee sleaves for that other crafter who makes shit out of them.

Be safe, drink carefully.

Rate this comment: +43

Jan 21, 2010
11:21 am

#4 IscreamUscream :

I’d rather be safe from shameless name-dropping.

Rate this comment: +27

Jan 21, 2010
11:21 am

#5 underemployed :

I thought vampires drank blood? I don’t know, I’m not really up on Twilight. And by “not really up on Twilight” I mean, if my sister-in-law likes it, that’s enough reason for me to stay the hell away. Which I have.

Anyway back to the coffee/blood thing. Seems like a vampire wouldn’t really get behind the whole “drinking coffee not blood” thing to begin with? The admonition to “be safe” seems like a tacit endorsement of coffee drinking. Just so mundane for a vampire.

Rate this comment: +25

Jan 21, 2010
11:24 am

#6 thistlechick :

oh, yea, because synthetic rubber produced by polymerization of chloroprene is sooooo “green” … [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neoprene]

Rate this comment: +56

Jan 21, 2010
11:24 am

#7 Patty has been abuducted by an alien :

Correct me if I’m wrong- and I know you will because you all care so much about my peace of mind- but don’t coffee places hand you the to-go cup with the sleeve already on it? And wouldn’t you, by taking it off and throwing it away, just be wasting it?

I don’t drink coffee, I drink tea. And I make it at home in a mug and if I must go somewhere, I use a travel mug. How’s that for bein’ green? A totally reusable travel mug.

I win!

Rate this comment: +53

Jan 21, 2010
11:32 am

#8 Skully :

Edward had to switch to decaf, regular was keeping him up all day.

Rate this comment: +122

Jan 21, 2010
11:33 am

#9 IscreamUscream :

Green? Just how many scuba divers were ruthlessly skinned to adorn coffee cups?

Rate this comment: +99

Jan 21, 2010
11:35 am

#10 buffoon :

@#1 since when did being real ever effect anything that these nutty Esty/Regretsy designers make? As one Regretsier once said, Jesus H Macy. Reality is not where these people dwell.

Rate this comment: +19

Jan 21, 2010
11:44 am

#11 NinjaGato :

It’s a poorly cup neoprene coffee condom!

Rate this comment: +7

Jan 21, 2010
11:44 am

#12 Wilma Fingerdoo :

She’s recommending her other listing (a brown paper bag) for twilight conventions. ‘nuf said.
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=28253778

Ahh, how I miss trekkies.

Rate this comment: +31

Jan 21, 2010
11:46 am

#13 razberries :

at newbury comics last week at the checkout counter, they had these stupid fake blood bags that said twilight drink or something on them…
everyone is going a bit too far with this crap

Rate this comment: +15

Jan 21, 2010
11:48 am

#14 underemployed :

Trekkies are mostly awesome.

My sister-in-law goes to Twilight conventions, and once made a Twilight-ridicule website for her ’shopped face in the embrace of one of the vampires, which she used as her Facebook profile pic for about a year. She goes to Twilight conventions.

Rate this comment: +6

Jan 21, 2010
11:51 am

#15 turtlegirl76 :

Is this not directed at Tweens? Should they even be drinking coffee? Sheesh. Leave something for us grownups.

Rate this comment: +12

Jan 21, 2010
11:54 am

#16 Calophi :

#2:

I can’t believe it doesn’t sparkle! BOO HISS! If I was going to make a Twilight-inspired cup cozy, I’d make it in Vanna’s choice Glitterspun yarn to make sure it sparkled. XD

Rate this comment: +16

Jan 21, 2010
11:54 am

#17 razberries :

off topic- i couldn’t post on the “pardon me” post but wtf was that?!
that was THE scariest video ever, and i can’t believe i just wasted 4 minutes of my life watching.
my ears (and eyes) are bleeding, and it’s not even stigmata

Rate this comment: +7

Jan 21, 2010
11:56 am

#18 Wilma Fingerdoo :

#14- underemployed-
Sorry about your sister-in-law. Sorry, but I would rather put hot rusty forks in my eyeballs than go to a twilight convention.

Rate this comment: +7

Jan 21, 2010
11:58 am

#19 a_hat :

“I found the best way to express my fandom is to make lots of borderline copyright infringing, tastelessly money-grubbing junk!”

Rate this comment: +26

Jan 21, 2010
11:58 am

#20 HelenaHandbasket :

I can’t get this because Edward stopped taking my calls, so for me to go on pretending like he cares whether I scald my mouth any longer seems almost delusional.

Rate this comment: +54

Jan 21, 2010
12:00 pm

#21 blondeweezie :

The world has gone insane. This shop proves it. I bet I will see botoxed, fake tanned, 40-something moms here in LA with their screaming little girls wearing this crap.
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=33290210
Forks?? WTF????

Rate this comment: +14

Jan 21, 2010
12:11 pm

#22 joan of snark :

A must for those times when a pre-copulatory dip in the warm waters off Isle Esme just isn’t an option. Nothing spoils a honeymoon faster than chapped lips and a severe case of hypothermia.

Rate this comment: +5

Jan 21, 2010
12:13 pm

#23 starrydreams :

What does this have to do with Twilight??? I thought it was something Christmas themed. What do I know…..

Rate this comment: +2

Jan 21, 2010
12:15 pm

#24 starrydreams :

#8 Skully- too funny. #5 Underemployed- good one!! If the outlaws like it – it must be bad!!!

Rate this comment: +4

Jan 21, 2010
12:31 pm

#25 schinders :

@ #4: i just saw jenna elfman drinking a coffee with one of these on the cup.

Rate this comment: +3

Jan 21, 2010
12:31 pm

#26 voxwoman :

@#21 Blondweezie… That piece of jewelry totally missed its proper fandom. It rightly belongs to Mystery Men and fans of the Blue Raja. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mystery_Men

Rate this comment: +9

Jan 21, 2010
12:33 pm

#27 angie :

#26 – that’s EXACTLY what i was thinking about that stupid fork necklace!!

Rate this comment: +2

Jan 21, 2010
12:43 pm

#28 mandalarain :

Edward Cullen told me he wants her to learn to cut in a straight line.

Rate this comment: +36

Jan 21, 2010
12:49 pm

#29 Texchanchan :

How about the Edward pendant? A pot metal pendant from Michael’s with a photo of Edward “sealed” into it. $14.99, which is probably 6 or 7 times the cost if the pendant is a couple bucks and printing out a 1-inch picture of Edward is essentially free. She may be a “diehard twilighter,” as she calls herself, but she’s also got a racket.

Rate this comment: +8

Jan 21, 2010
1:25 pm

#30 kitty :

This doesn’t make me think of twilight when I see it. And $10 seems expensive for it. It seems like the “be safe” should have something more with it, like an explanation under the “be safe”. I work in women’s helath, so if I were to take this to work, someone would probably write on it in pen something like “be safe, wear a condom” or something else obscene. It’s just asking to have obnoxious comments about what you are supposed to be safe about.

Rate this comment: +5

Jan 21, 2010
1:32 pm

#31 kitty :

Really?
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=26176507

Rate this comment: +5

Jan 21, 2010
1:39 pm

#32 ThisJustMakesMeSad :

You know what else Edward Cullen would want? For you to STOP F*King STALKING HIM!!!

Rate this comment: +22

Jan 21, 2010
1:58 pm

#33 crazycatlady :

@ #31 kitty… Is she going to come to my house to customize that bracelet every day? I read Twilight every night at 7 pm.

Rate this comment: +15

Jan 21, 2010
1:59 pm

#34 Christina :

She wants 9.99 for an “up”cycled mouse pad she embroidered?! Even Carlisle would kill this one.

Rate this comment: +3

Jan 21, 2010
2:28 pm

#35 StinkBait :

Ok. I’ll be the first to ask this…

How is buying cheap beer cozies at the dollar store, then have them embrodered AT A STORE handmade?

Rate this comment: +12

Jan 21, 2010
3:15 pm

#36 Monster :

You know… My starbucks dude makes my coffee in my own mug when I bring it in. That’s pretty green.
Especially since my mug was bout to save endangered animals

Rate this comment: +10

Jan 21, 2010
3:55 pm

#37 lefty lucy :

Not sure if anyone will care, but at SBUX we try NOT to give everyone a cardboard sleeve automatically. The only drinks that are truly too hot to walk around with are the brewed coffee and tea, Americanos, and anything requested extra hot.We also put a sleeve on any Venti drink, cause damn, that’s big. The funny part is that guests have come to see that sleeve as part of the whole “experience,” and they get sad or cranky when they don’t get one. It’s recycled already, but greener to just…

Rate this comment: +14

Jan 21, 2010
3:57 pm

#38 lefty lucy :

whoops! Just say no. (I’m a faithful Regretsy fan but new to comments, obviously!)

Rate this comment: +4

Jan 21, 2010
4:37 pm

#39 Vile & Evil Debbie Downer :

Though the new one is funny, I liked the former tagline so much. “Handmade? It looks like you made it with your feet.” evoked the perfect combination of mockery and fuckery.

Rate this comment: +14

Jan 21, 2010
6:54 pm

#40 iunifera :

#31 – At least she can read…

Rate this comment: +1

Jan 21, 2010
9:56 pm

#41 PussDaddy :

Maybe it is a warning not to accidentally pour scalding hot blood on your thighs.

Rate this comment: +12

Jan 22, 2010
9:23 am

#42 Cats_meow_meow_meow :

Would it have really hurt to use a ruler to cut it straight atleast?

Rate this comment: +1

Jan 22, 2010
9:26 am

#43 Cats_meow_meow_meow :

Also, I think this looks more like a beer cozy than a coffee sleeve.

Rate this comment: +3

Jan 22, 2010
11:46 am

#44 bondgurl :

#30 That was my 1st thought too!

I was sure this was promoting safe sex, but apparently safe coffe-drinking with a vampire is a more important topic.

Rate this comment: +2

Jan 22, 2010
11:54 am

#45 DuaeCat :

It annoys me how generic all the Twicrap is. I’m surprised they didn’t try to claim “Hello” for Twilight since I’m sure someone says it at some point. I much preferred the Harry Potter spazzing because never once did I go “Dangit, I used to use Dumbledore all the time. Pass the dumbledore please, have a nice dumbledore. Now everyone thinks I’m into that wizard crap”

Rate this comment: +1

Jan 22, 2010
12:25 pm

#46 VoteAudrey :

What’s safe about having imaginary vampires and werewolves as friends?

Rate this comment: +6

Jan 23, 2010
2:51 am

#47 snarkeygirl :

Someone please tell me what the forks have to do with that book, so that I never need to read it. In the 1980s, I used to have a fork on a chain in the pocket of my jacket, and I thought it was cool. I could whip it out and ask, “Wanna fork?”

Rate this comment: +3