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Pardon Me

The Regretsy Fan Page on Facebook went down last night. Went down hard, like Kim Kardashian at Clippers game. I have no idea what that even means. I just haven’t been able to stop thinking about that Carls Jr. commercial she’s in now, where she’s sitting in a bath tub, eating salad with her fingers. I’m not sure why Kim Kardashian’s bathwater and lettuce are supposed to make me hungry, but the whole thing just makes me think of Monistat.

The point is, I’ve been in contact with Facebook this morning and they are very kindly helping me get the page back up again. It had nothing to do with content or anything sinister, though I enjoyed the conspiracy theories people shared with me last night. My favorite: “Etsy probably hit Facebook with a Cease and Desist order”. Apparently this web site and a book are both okay, but a fan page on Facebook is where Etsy draws the line.

To be perfectly frank, it was my fault. I gave Facebook the wrong information when I started the page, and it appeared to them that it was a fake account. I sent the correct information just now, and with any luck we’ll be back online shortly.

In the meantime, please enjoy this video by the gifted Maxine Swaby, who says it better than I ever could. It’s only four minutes, but it feels like a lifetime.

Thanks to Merrill Markoe for the link

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41 comments on Pardon Me

  1. carecaribou
    January 21, 2010 at 10:55 am

    OW MY EARS.

    Just sayin’.

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  2. biggles5
    January 21, 2010 at 11:00 am

    Could I please have those 4 minutes of my life back?

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  3. lyontamer
    January 21, 2010 at 11:01 am

    Brain bleach! Brain bleach!

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  4. blondeweezie
    January 21, 2010 at 11:02 am

    There’s a reason I don’t use Facebook. The faux drama and hackers are only 2 of them…

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  5. SaaaSquash
    January 21, 2010 at 11:12 am

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -112

  6. TheOldGuy
    January 21, 2010 at 11:14 am

    Don’t know about the Facebook brou-ha-ha, but the video – the video…from :09 to :10, a really wonderful wind riffle crosses the pond. After that, it’s all downhill. Or (given Maxine’s upper register)maybe uphill.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  7. whaapplewha
    January 21, 2010 at 11:14 am

    She looks like an activities director for a karaoke cruise line. And I will call her “Julie.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +39

  8. lulubelly
    January 21, 2010 at 11:48 am

    A link from THE Merrill Markoe, seriously? Just when I thought it was impossible to love this site more. Oh, and that song sucked bear balls.

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  9. MaryLeah
    January 21, 2010 at 12:09 pm

    It hurts so bad, but I cant look away

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

  10. starrydreams
    January 21, 2010 at 12:17 pm

    It was like watching a train wreck.. ugh..

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  11. IscreamUscream
    January 21, 2010 at 12:26 pm

    :::slams door quickly:::

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  12. leftfoot
    January 21, 2010 at 12:50 pm

    #10 starrydreams: It’s better than a train wreck because you can replay it as many times as you want. :-)

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

  13. HomeAlone
    January 21, 2010 at 1:44 pm

    Oh god. Life is too short. I only made it a minute and a half. Definitely in the top 10 most regrettable things I’ve seen here.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  14. crazycatlady
    January 21, 2010 at 1:50 pm

    Looks like she bought a shit ton of those nasty ass dreadlocks.

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  15. ThisJustMakesMeSad
    January 21, 2010 at 1:59 pm

    I’m sorry, I couldn’t even stand a minute. :(

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  16. lyontamer
    January 21, 2010 at 2:22 pm

    It was so bad, I had to watch the entire thing because I simply could not believe it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  17. tresliso
    January 21, 2010 at 2:28 pm

    Talk about awkward!

    It’s like a man who’s just finished with a round of sex-change hormones and doesn’t quite know what to make of his extra bits yet. Which is why, I’m assuming, he wants to be pardoned. His manhood is what’s leaving.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  18. theleewit711
    January 21, 2010 at 2:37 pm

    Is she like a flight attendant? Is that why she has to leave? Cuz she’s dressed like one.

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  19. carnival
    January 21, 2010 at 3:49 pm

    Pardon me, but I’d really like you to go…

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  20. methuselah
    January 21, 2010 at 4:17 pm

    That is one of the best things ever.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  21. mimiomi
    January 21, 2010 at 5:19 pm

    Does she have a farmer tan or are her neck and chest always a different color?

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  22. saucerville
    January 21, 2010 at 5:25 pm

    Sweet hand motions, lady.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  23. batontwirler1
    January 21, 2010 at 5:41 pm

    I only watched for 2 minutes – did I miss anything after that? (other than bad singing and hand movements)

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  24. Vile & Evil Debbie Downer
    January 21, 2010 at 6:37 pm

    Are you trying to tell us something, Helen? Most people would just leave a little passive-aggressive note.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  25. Bemused
    January 21, 2010 at 7:05 pm

    My ears are bleeding.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  26. PussDaddy
    January 21, 2010 at 8:25 pm

    Etsy hit facebook with a cease and desist order. LOL. Wouldn’t they just hit you with one instead considering you are pretty easy to contact?

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  27. bitzidee
    January 21, 2010 at 9:09 pm

    Pardon me Maxine, my ears started squirting blood before you finished warbling.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  28. gagmewithaspoon
    January 21, 2010 at 9:22 pm

    And all without her lips moving! Made my ears bleed but worth it!

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  29. Thistle
    January 21, 2010 at 9:37 pm

    it was a store mannequin painted gold with someone behind it maneuvering the arms.

    oh, and torturing kittens.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  30. crat68
    January 21, 2010 at 9:46 pm

    Is this some sort of new flight safety video

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  31. the porgester
    January 22, 2010 at 1:48 am

    Oh! I LOVE this! It’s from the B side of a very rare collaboration with Varga (the project album was called Can I Borrow A Rainbow, but it was never complete, due to ‘artistic differences’). Fast forward to 2010, and word is that the two are working together again to complete a 3 disc concept album – the details are under wraps, but I hear that the completed tracks are VERY good, lots of Top 40 potential, and remixes are being sought as we speak. Look for them at Coachella his summer!

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  32. Jea
    January 22, 2010 at 8:56 am

    Over choreographed hand movements FTW!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  33. lampshade
    January 22, 2010 at 11:54 am

    Pardon me, but I really want you to know… that you should not be singing. Although I loved the close up of your sweaty face, it cracked me the fuck up.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  34. VoteAudrey
    January 22, 2010 at 12:33 pm

    If she was a good stewardess, she would have told me where the emergency exit doors.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  35. frootloop
    January 22, 2010 at 7:54 pm

    my mom really needs her shoulder pads back

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  36. snarkeygirl
    January 23, 2010 at 2:41 am

    That. Was. Amazing.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  37. charmerci
    January 23, 2010 at 5:25 am

    I suffered for 4 minutes waiting for something funny or something…. anything!!!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  38. charmerci
    January 23, 2010 at 5:27 am

    Hey, I want #13, #14 or #23′s avatar! How do you know I wear glasses?

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  39. Renagade676
    January 25, 2010 at 2:47 am

    I think this video is innovative. Now even the hearing impaired can suffer through her crappy video!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  40. JustJon
    January 28, 2010 at 11:24 am

    *blink*

    Did I just have a massive dissociative episode?

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  41. crackwhore
    August 14, 2011 at 4:40 pm

    I remember strolling through Walgreen’s and halting at the sign marked “Adult Pain Relivers.” If the divorce wasn’t painful enough the first time around, here’s your aisle. Go nuts.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

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