Are you there God? It’s me, Hipster
Not an arm warmer, nor a wristlet, so this is even less substantial than something that has no purpose. The important thing is that you can wear it with a gown, provided it’s also bile green and completely open in the back. Have fun in the hospital!
January 20, 2010 at 6:57 pm
eat a cheeseburger, hippie!
ps…and get that rag off your arm
January 20, 2010 at 7:00 pm
This is the result when you stop reading after Chapter Three in “I Taught Myself Knitting!” from the Dollar Store.
January 20, 2010 at 7:00 pm
You can wipe your mouth with them after you barf.
January 20, 2010 at 7:01 pm
Why yes, the perfect match for my evening gown. Poorly knitted swatches
January 20, 2010 at 7:01 pm
It looks like someone did not feel like finishing their sweater. Maybe they need some money to buy a shirt.
January 20, 2010 at 7:02 pm
Interesting. My Nana used to knit me gloves. But she always remembered to put the hand part on.
Now THIS looks like a testicle collection…in wool: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=15360257
January 20, 2010 at 7:03 pm
be careful when you close the car door
January 20, 2010 at 7:04 pm
Ducksnew.. I was just going to post that link!
It reminds me of the aftermath of those colon-cleansing products.
January 20, 2010 at 7:05 pm
At least it matches her eye shadow.
January 20, 2010 at 7:06 pm
so YOU stole my tea towels! bad crafter! go sit in the corner!
January 20, 2010 at 7:07 pm
These will actually make pretty neat elbow fins for my all-yarn mermaid costume.
January 20, 2010 at 7:09 pm
Also from same seller “Brown Hand-Knit Tumor Infested Intestine Scarf”
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=15360257
March 19, 2011 at 10:15 pm
And here I was freezing my ass off last month at the Oconee County Chitlin Festival when I could have both (1) been warm and (2) been on-message!
January 20, 2010 at 7:10 pm
Oh look, it goes perfectly with this other ridiculous accessory.
http://www.regretsy.com/2009/11/19/perfectly-charmin/
January 20, 2010 at 7:10 pm
Not an arm warmer, not a wristlet, so what is it?
(And yes, clearly NOT a wristlet…isn’t a wristlet a small purse/wallet with small handle to go around the wrist? eg: http://www.dooney.com/OA_HTML/dbibeCSrdSrchResults.jsp?qqk=1&cg=-200&kw=wristlet&ds=0&dr=20&st=kw&cpg=0)
January 20, 2010 at 7:12 pm
ok wtf is up with her not finishing her projects? all that is needed is the upper part of the sleeve…??
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=18093458
January 20, 2010 at 7:13 pm
Yeah, I never could get the hang of knitting in the round, either.
January 20, 2010 at 7:23 pm
Fun, yes, but practical too:
- Hands-free cat toy
- A quicker picker-upper for sopping up spills
- Grease skimmer for fat-free stews and spaghetti sauce
- Cutter’s companion – hides wounds, staunches blood flow
January 20, 2010 at 7:26 pm
all i think of when i saw this outfit was grace jones
http://www.flickr.com/photos/27900808@N06/4292282582/
January 20, 2010 at 7:27 pm
This is gonna go right over you young-uns’ heads, but this is the first thing I thought of… http://friendlymilk.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/wurtzel.jpg
January 20, 2010 at 7:27 pm
Raz- I think what’s more telling about her taste level is those ridiculous sweat pants she’s wearing.
January 20, 2010 at 7:28 pm
Um, but why is she naked?
January 20, 2010 at 7:38 pm
It does appear odd to keep your arms warm when you are half naked.
January 20, 2010 at 7:44 pm
Built in hankies on your arms! Cool! Now all mom’s everywhere will be able to always have snot wipes available when their kid needs them, and the color camouflages the boogers! How handy.
January 20, 2010 at 7:50 pm
I wonder what the original price was – since $25 is the sale price. I bet it was $5,000.
January 20, 2010 at 7:59 pm
Just be careful when you’re picking up the dog poop.
January 20, 2010 at 8:07 pm
I am clumsy and regularly manage to get myself in trouble with normal sleeves, so no one buy these for me, please.
January 20, 2010 at 8:11 pm
No evening ball is complete without the topless girl wearing nothing by green, knitted, fluttering “sleeves”.
Come to think of it, I want what she’s been drinking…
January 20, 2010 at 8:13 pm
(not joking) Hey! What happened to the Facebook page?
January 20, 2010 at 8:17 pm
She promises it will be fun to flutter around paired with either a t-shirt or an evening gown. As the model appears otherwise nude, I guess that explains why it is here so completely devoid of mirth.
January 20, 2010 at 8:17 pm
I think it”s just a bug. I didn’t get any notice or warning or anything, and I keep getting an “Error: we’re working on it” page when I try to log in.
January 20, 2010 at 8:22 pm
#6: What do they mean by, “hand manipulated wool?” Eew!
January 20, 2010 at 8:23 pm
#30 Oh, ok! I have info about the NSFW cartoon someone convo’ed me about. Will post ASAP!
January 20, 2010 at 8:27 pm
Carefull…big sleeves don’t get along well with the ritual candles.
January 20, 2010 at 8:30 pm
I looked through her site, and I think I get it. If you buy everything in the store then you might be able to build two whole articles of clothing — it’s DIY!
January 20, 2010 at 8:38 pm
Alas, my love, you do me wrong,
To cast me off without purling three.
For I have knit you well and long,
Refraining from circularity.
Greensleeves – not an armwarmer,
Greensleeves – nor a wristlet,
Greensleeves was my first attempt,
And who but my lady greensleeves.
January 20, 2010 at 8:56 pm
“Chiaroscuro Scary” … all that intensity artistically melded with those arm thingies has me nervous. Performance art props maybe??????
January 20, 2010 at 8:59 pm
i bet she wears them (yes!) to work.
January 20, 2010 at 9:03 pm
This is not only ugly, but stupid
January 20, 2010 at 9:04 pm
#21 LOL dont you know anything?? She is naked because these armlets look dumb with clothes.
January 20, 2010 at 9:37 pm
Will these wings make me fly?
January 20, 2010 at 9:44 pm
@#35 V&EDD: Bravo, you beat me to it!
January 20, 2010 at 11:58 pm
This is proof that there is a finite number of knit items that are in fact, useful. And that this is not one of them.
January 21, 2010 at 12:08 am
She is right its not an arm warmer or a wristlet its an Elbowlet
January 21, 2010 at 12:48 am
stevie nicks called, she wants her sleeves back.
January 21, 2010 at 2:38 am
By looking at her shop I think I figured it out.
She has models as friends. They are her friends, so I think they are afraid to tell her that handmade shitty made, half ass, knotted yarn isn’t actually runway meterial.
But she’s crazy and they don’t know if she is taking her meds. They don’t want to cause her to have another “episode”, so they suck it up and take pictures with her crap on them.
January 21, 2010 at 3:17 am
Seriously, who runs around with a bit of knitting hanging off their arm?
And it’s not that hard to sew up the sides to turn them into arm warmers
January 21, 2010 at 5:18 am
But won’t these go perfectly with your Pannots?
January 21, 2010 at 5:30 am
I will buy this scarf,
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=36696986
along with a t-shirt that says “WARNING: Castrating Bitch?”
January 21, 2010 at 5:33 am
These would be perfect for my 3 year old who keeps wiping her boogers on her sleeve.
Perfect color too.
Oh, to be hip and stupid…
January 21, 2010 at 5:44 am
I think the only thing in her store I’d actually wear are her monkey scarves:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=8766139
January 21, 2010 at 6:08 am
My 5 yr old loves to dress up in various guises with things hanging from her arm to flap and flutter. But even she would look at me askance if I suggested these…
January 21, 2010 at 6:57 am
These will look ravishing with my lace spats.
January 21, 2010 at 7:40 am
I never knew there were hipsters in Columbus, Ohio, and guess what? There aren’t! Just chicks who can only knit their brows successfully.
January 21, 2010 at 7:50 am
All I can think about when I see these is my neighbor in the section over. He got one arm stuck in an auger and then thought he could free it with his other arm and well………..was stuck with both arms in an auger until someone found him. These would never be practical around here. She better get some kinda liability insurance for herself if she is gonna sell shit like this.
January 21, 2010 at 7:52 am
SKULLY- my Gravatar is up… the day you wrote my jingle I ran down to the studio and took a pic to toast you and well it is finally here- so here’s to you SKULLY. (Gravatar must have been keeping it chilled for you.)
January 21, 2010 at 8:42 am
Thank you RCB!
This one’s for Kimmer G
(Buzzcocks/Something’s Gone Wrong Again):
Kimmer G’s rockin’
The gallery
“Know Question Is To Dum.”
Kimmer G, what does it
Say on your tee?
“Know Question Is To Dum.
Know Question, Know Question, Know Question, Question is
Know Question Is To Dum.”
January 21, 2010 at 8:55 am
I figured she was nekkid because she is about to start imitating the girl in MITTENS. She kind of has the same expression… maybe she is trying to insinuate that the bear started by slitting her arm warmers?
January 21, 2010 at 8:58 am
AAAHH!!! I think I just died and went to whimsicle fuckery heaven. Skully, you have rendered me speechless, which is not an easy thing to accomplish! lol.
Thanks!! xo
January 21, 2010 at 8:59 am
(so after he destroyed her green ones and the rest of her clothes, all she had left were red mittens?)
January 21, 2010 at 9:11 am
it is not so bad.
You should see some of the things I flutter around in.
not getting the vaughan williams ‘sir john in love’folk song setting vibe from this. I’m getting the who’tommy’ vibe;
I’m your wicked uncle ernie and I know you can’t see or hear me as I flutter around, flutter around…
January 21, 2010 at 9:13 am
Greensleeves. I knew one of those in elementary school. He got his nickname by wiping his runny nose on his sleeves.
January 21, 2010 at 9:17 am
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=29789525
What the blue hell is this and where could you legally wear it???
January 21, 2010 at 9:19 am
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=18883204
Back in my day, these were called Harem Pants. And it looks like the model’s laxative just kicked in.
January 21, 2010 at 9:41 am
@#61 If that’s what those pants do to your posture, nobody’s going to let you in the German or any other military.
But the worst is the “bubble scarf.” It really does look like tumors. Carefully handcrafted ones.
January 21, 2010 at 9:44 am
#61 Not _you_, “your posture”. Should have said “the wearer’s.”
It all just goes to show that people in the clothing business scoot gently farther and farther from normal perception. Finally they’re making things like these, and honestly and truly think them attractive and wonder why they’re on Regretsy.
January 21, 2010 at 10:02 am
So many things wrong with this shop. Where do I start? The Harem pants or the side apron? (Gossamer Wing)
January 21, 2010 at 11:12 am
best. title. ever.
January 21, 2010 at 12:32 pm
It’s as if she told her friend, “Try these sleeves on. I want to make sure I got the sizing right before I finish the sweater.” And then it hit her. “Oh my God. Go get the camera!”
January 21, 2010 at 2:08 pm
What I love is the arty, model-y presentation of the product which some sucker will fall for, until the “sleeves” arrive and it’s clear there is no possible way they will actually stay on.
January 21, 2010 at 5:21 pm
57 thumbs-downs? for telling an underweight model to eat a cheeseburger?
some of you people are on crack.
January 21, 2010 at 8:28 pm
If she put some clothes on her wrists wouldn’t be cold.
January 22, 2010 at 4:57 am
“Are you there God? It’s me, Hipster” — most awesome Regretsy title EVER!
My mother had a copy of “Are You There God? It’s Me, Anna” which sat in our linen closet right next to her copy of “The Bell Jar” and “Silent Spring”. What can I say, it was next to the plastic box our stamps were kept in… children need craft projects… and occasionally towels or sheets.
Unfortunately, my mother did not have any of these cuff things… or maybe that was fortunate.
January 22, 2010 at 9:57 am
#6 – check this one out. i wonder what kind of STD changes testicles this color:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=36695963