89

Beyonce What

- Submitted by Anna

If you liked it, then you shoulda put a face on it.

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89 comments on Beyonce What

  1. leftfoot
    January 11, 2010 at 10:53 am

    So.. uhhhhh.. she has a vagina on her face?

    Thumb up Thumb down +33

  2. sudabaki
    January 11, 2010 at 10:54 am

    I’ve gotta get over myself and just set up shop. “I really tried to make her like Beyonce.” If she can sell something for $45 that she is only confident enough to say she tried then I need to stop worrying and just do.

    Thumb up Thumb down +49

  3. cbb
    January 11, 2010 at 10:56 am

    that thing has a gigantic ass.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  4. samner
    January 11, 2010 at 10:58 am

    You simply don’t need a face when your packing that kind of badonk.

    Thumb up Thumb down +40

  5. Bronc Drywall
    January 11, 2010 at 10:59 am

    “I really tried to make her like Beyonce…”

    There’s only so much any of us can do. I really tried to like Cheap Trick and it never worked.

    Thumb up Thumb down +78

  6. Treed
    January 11, 2010 at 11:01 am

    I like it. :::::ducking:::::

    Thumb up Thumb down +35

  7. ThisJustMakesMeSad
    January 11, 2010 at 11:01 am

    Really trying and pulling it off are two totally different things.

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  8. Helen Killer
    January 11, 2010 at 11:02 am

    @ #3 cbb – So does the doll.

    Thumb up Thumb down +32

  9. strawberrylumps
    January 11, 2010 at 11:02 am

    I look like Beyonce when I don’t have a face too.

    Thumb up Thumb down +74

  10. Orlana
    January 11, 2010 at 11:03 am

    “Small silver cabochon beads”

    They’re rhinestones, dear.

    Also, Beyounce wouldn’t be caught dead in that dress.

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  11. sudabaki
    January 11, 2010 at 11:03 am

    #4 Bronc Drywall: Maybe she’d like Beyonce if she didn’t have grommets for ears.

    Thumb up Thumb down +28

  12. Fo5ter
    January 11, 2010 at 11:03 am

    Bahahaha, Helen, I was singing your comment as I read it. WWKD?

    (What would Kanye Do?)

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  13. razberries
    January 11, 2010 at 11:03 am

    she looks very robot-like…but that does appear to be a metallic “glory hole”

    i think this one looks more vagoo-esque..
    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=31843639

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  14. Skully
    January 11, 2010 at 11:05 am

    That earring looks inviting – as Iggy Pop sang: Of course I’ve had it in the ear before…

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  15. Orlana
    January 11, 2010 at 11:07 am

    Dammit, Skully, now “Lust For Life” is gonna be stuck in my head all day.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  16. DucksNew
    January 11, 2010 at 11:22 am

    Why is she singing into a vibrator? Is this one of those “private moments”?

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  17. Patty has been abuducted by an alien
    January 11, 2010 at 11:24 am

    I’m really concerned about her skeletal arm. Does her arm have an eating disorder?

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  18. itsnotatumor
    January 11, 2010 at 11:24 am

    i really like the rhinestone nipple, coupled with the vagoo mouth and the vibrator microphone. it’s classy and makes me want to buy it

    Thumb up Thumb down +28

  19. TooManyCookbooks
    January 11, 2010 at 11:26 am

    So Beyonce is really a cylon? That explains a bit.

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

  20. Wilma Fingerdoo
    January 11, 2010 at 11:27 am

    Skully-
    I always thought that Iggy was saying “of course I’ve had it in the rear before..”
    Go figure.

    Can someone photoshop the girl with the pearl earring eyes on Beyonce. That would be nice.

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  21. rainbowcrafter
    January 11, 2010 at 11:27 am

    This is so wrong, everybody knows that Beyonce performs in leotard and…has a face!

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  22. palJacky
    January 11, 2010 at 11:34 am

    The real question is if one sticks pins in it will Beyonce feel it? If so $45 is dirt cheap.

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  23. Moons in Leo
    January 11, 2010 at 11:37 am

    “Beyonce” only reminds me of the Twilight Zone episode where they kept operating on the beautiful woman to make her look like everyone else (ugly).

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  24. Skully
    January 11, 2010 at 11:37 am

    @#5 Bronc:
    To the tune of Surrender (Chorus)
    Helen’s alright, Bronc is alright.
    There’s just one website for me:
    Regretsy, Regretsy,
    For whimsical fuckery.

    Thumb up Thumb down +29

  25. Monstrosa
    January 11, 2010 at 11:38 am

    I this from that anime where faceless things with gaping mouths come after people to devour them? Or is it that nightmare I had from falling asleep watching anime?

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  26. Orlana
    January 11, 2010 at 11:38 am
  27. txesg
    January 11, 2010 at 11:48 am

    I’m going to see if I can work the phrase ”stiff the ribbon“ into a sentence today.

    Thumb up Thumb down +39

  28. flare
    January 11, 2010 at 11:50 am

    it’s actually not bad -i’ll even accept the odd face with the silver lips. What I can’t accept is the stiff ribbon and sequins at the bottom. Reminded me of one of those creepy toilet paper dolls my Nana had in her bathroom.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  29. lasserine
    January 11, 2010 at 11:57 am

    If I were that white silk ribbon, I would have pleaded too.

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  30. Wilma Fingerdoo
    January 11, 2010 at 12:00 pm

    #26- Thank you, Orlana! That’s much better. It reminds me of the My First Teddy Bear that had no eyes or face either.
    Can’t figure out why you would put so much detail into the fugly dress and not poke some damn eye holes.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  31. hoser
    January 11, 2010 at 12:20 pm

    Did she use the same earing as that cyclops eye hole ?
    I also like the mic that looks like a bit fat cigar. She prob needs it cause she can’t think straight – her brain prob fell out of the cyclops hole in the front of her face.
    Her arm looks like it was inspired from a coat hanger.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  32. ellipser
    January 11, 2010 at 12:23 pm

    “all my dolls are one of a kind”

    Thank GAWD…

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  33. ellipser
    January 11, 2010 at 12:24 pm

    scuse me…”all my work is…”

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  34. sKate
    January 11, 2010 at 12:33 pm

    Dementor-face.

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  35. polaroidart
    January 11, 2010 at 12:43 pm

    I like it too, actually…
    sorry.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  36. sudabaki
    January 11, 2010 at 12:47 pm

    I kind of like it too but I don’t get the Beyonce thing.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

    • Helen Killer
      January 11, 2010 at 12:49 pm

      AWESOME AVATAR

      Thumb up Thumb down +8

  37. polaroidart
    January 11, 2010 at 12:50 pm

    I guess she wanted the doll to look like
    Beyonce..it probably doesn’t that much.
    But it’s nicely done.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  38. sudabaki
    January 11, 2010 at 12:52 pm

    #37 Helen Killer :

    *looking around*

    who me?

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  39. polaroidart
    January 11, 2010 at 12:53 pm

    Sudabaki- i love your avi too! :)

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  40. Rob T Firefly
    January 11, 2010 at 12:55 pm

    This looks almost as insane as the real Beyonce.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  41. razberries
    January 11, 2010 at 12:55 pm

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

  42. NinjaGato
    January 11, 2010 at 12:56 pm

    $45 for a lump of clay and doesn’t even look like Beyonce and doesn’t have eyes…wow

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  43. turtlegirl76
    January 11, 2010 at 1:05 pm

    When the ribbons start pleading, it’s time to put the glue gun down.

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  44. lynne
    January 11, 2010 at 1:14 pm

    #27 – that shouldn’t be too hard:)

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  45. Patty has been abuducted by an alien
    January 11, 2010 at 1:14 pm

    #42 razberries: Hilarious!

    I just set my water down before I clicked the link. I’d have had Mountain Dew Throwback all over my desk if I hadn’t.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  46. sudabaki
    January 11, 2010 at 1:14 pm

    Hey thanks. Check otu fo5ter’s new avi when you get a chance too. I figured I’d beat the thumbs down trolls to the punch.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  47. sunshynegrll
    January 11, 2010 at 1:22 pm

    Orlana beat me to the Girl With a Pearl Earring eyes, so I gave that big butt a purpose.

    http://twitpic.com/xpgyq

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

  48. sudabaki
    January 11, 2010 at 1:28 pm

    #48 sunshynegrll:

    Say What! Love it!

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  49. whimsiclefuckery
    January 11, 2010 at 1:40 pm

    “White silk pleaded ribbon”… You mean like it pleaded with her “Don’t put me on that awful doll! Please!”

    You know you’re in trouble when your pleats bleat for mercy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  50. whimsiclefuckery
    January 11, 2010 at 1:43 pm

    #27 txesg : I’m hearing the Puerto Rican aids walker from Seinfeld “Who? Who can not stiff the ribbon?!”

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  51. whyohwhy
    January 11, 2010 at 1:43 pm

    Wow, never knew that faceless terracotta clay superstars could freak me. Thanks for the nightmares.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  52. Recovering Crack Baby
    January 11, 2010 at 1:44 pm

    Why does her face look like it is ready to fuck the shit out of that microphone

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  53. Sandra D
    January 11, 2010 at 1:49 pm

    Some of the stuff in this shop is really quite good, I like her glasses and angel cats, but she needs to stop with the faceless women, they’re fugly.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  54. flare
    January 11, 2010 at 1:49 pm

    can i just ask… since we’re kinda on topic… how does one change their avitar… not that i don’t love Milton

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  55. sudabaki
    January 11, 2010 at 1:55 pm

    #55 flare: you need to go to http://en.gravatar.com/ and set up an account. You upload a picture there and it will update here. It’s easy (in theory).

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  56. Sandra D
    January 11, 2010 at 1:55 pm

    I’m working on that now flare, I know you go to gravatar and set one up there. This post will let me know if I got it right lol.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  57. Sandra D
    January 11, 2010 at 1:58 pm

    Ok gravatar AND make sure you use the same email addy as you use here.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  58. Wilma Fingerdoo
    January 11, 2010 at 2:05 pm

    #48 Sunshynegrll-
    That takes the cake! We can all go home now.

    Still surprised no one put a ring on it. Though the weight of it might break the freakishly skinny arm.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  59. starrydreams
    January 11, 2010 at 2:06 pm

    That gaping hole for a mouth is kind of creepy.
    #24 Skully- too funny!!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  60. Sushisimo
    January 11, 2010 at 2:22 pm

    Where’s her man, Clay Z.

    Thumb up Thumb down +27

  61. Sculptor69
    January 11, 2010 at 2:26 pm

    Guh. This just pisses me off. What’s a gal gotta do to sell some art? Suck? (would you like fries with your double entendre??)

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  62. lilprincess
    January 11, 2010 at 3:04 pm

    I’m still wondering why she’s stiffing the ribbon. What did it ever do to her?

    No matter what, with the creepy half fingers and the face of nothingness, its a nightmare inducer.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  63. Orlana
    January 11, 2010 at 3:09 pm

    #48 sunshynegrll,
    Epic. You now have a new follower on Twitter btw (I’m twistdshangrila)

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  64. razberries
    January 11, 2010 at 3:09 pm

    off topic, and i may look/sound like a dork, but i have a collection of these faceless figures, and i love them…

    http://www.demdaco.com/SearchResult.aspx?CategoryID=2&Manufacturer=58&Vendor=176&ViewAll=True

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  65. NinjaGato
    January 11, 2010 at 3:21 pm

    raz there’s a difference between those figurines and THAT figurine…namely quality

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  66. NinjaGato
    January 11, 2010 at 3:22 pm

    If ya liked it then ya shoulda put a face on it

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

  67. Sculptor69
    January 11, 2010 at 3:24 pm

    I figured it out! It’s representative art.

    Representative of crap, that is.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  68. lemon floor wax
    January 11, 2010 at 3:27 pm

    Perhaps she could team up with the lady who makes vulva/vagina necklaces. The necklace lady could make a real tiny vagoo to use instead of the silver amorphous blob on her face and THEN I’d pay $45 for it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  69. BettyMachete
    January 11, 2010 at 3:35 pm

    #14 Skully- anyone who references Iggy Pop lyrics deserves a prize…found this in her shop. Will virtually buy this for you
    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=mt&listing_id=32001411

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  70. Wilma Fingerdoo
    January 11, 2010 at 3:43 pm

    #70- Betty
    I agree. Iggy rocks. Best line in Lust for Life “that’s like hypnotizing chickens”.

    I think faceless Beyonce could hypnotize some chickens, don’t you?

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  71. BettyMachete
    January 11, 2010 at 3:58 pm

    Yay Wilma! PS I think your sister Gail stole those teddy bear eyes when you were a child. Thought they were DOTS candy or somethin’.
    That Beyonce would do more than hyp-no-tize, she’s a bedazzled voodoo doll.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  72. HelenaHandbasket
    January 11, 2010 at 4:23 pm

    I really tried to make a comment about this artwork that really looks like no one, nor even like a human being. I depressed the keyboard in sequence to make letters forming English words, then stringing them into an almost coherent sentence. I affixed semi-appropriate punctuation, and made spaces between the words and sentences. Still, it all comes up crap.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  73. Wilma Fingerdoo
    January 11, 2010 at 4:25 pm

    Yes, Betty,
    I do believe bedazzled voodoo doll with a gromet pie hole pretty much sums it up.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  74. Skully
    January 11, 2010 at 4:34 pm

    @#70 Betty Machete: Gotta love Iggy – I’m a street walking cheetah with a heart full of napalm…

    This is for you:

    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=24809043&ref=sr_gallery_21&&ga_search_query=roller+derby&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_page=&includes=tags&includes=title

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  75. Skully
    January 11, 2010 at 4:41 pm

    @#71 Wilma: You know how to hypnotize a chicken?

    A. Lightly push its beak to the ground, then draw a straight line in the dirt from its beak outward.

    or

    B. Push its head under its wing, rock it back and forth, then place it gently on the ground.

    The chicken will sit motionless until you clap your hands. I shit you not.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  76. Wilma Fingerdoo
    January 11, 2010 at 4:44 pm

    Damn, Skully,
    If only I had some chickens lying around this funny farm I’d try it out right now. I BELIEVE.
    Does it work on small children, say toddlers, too?

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  77. Skully
    January 11, 2010 at 4:48 pm

    Wilma, I tried it on our daughter, didn’t work, just made her crankier.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  78. Wilma Fingerdoo
    January 11, 2010 at 4:59 pm

    Sorry to hear, Skully.

    Nothing’s worse than a cranky chicken daughter.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  79. BettyMachete
    January 11, 2010 at 6:17 pm

    Oh my God, Skully~ LUV that Roller Derby plate. Kinda reminds me what I look like in the roller rink. Thank you!!
    OH and Wilma- I recall you had baby chicks at Easter time…Shoulda tried it then. You can do Skully’s tricks on my teenagers? They will do any dare for M&M’s

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  80. Thistle
    January 11, 2010 at 6:48 pm

    yo skully, i’m really happy for you and imma let you finish, but the beyonce doll has the biggest ass of all time! OF ALL TIME!

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  81. Feel Free To Customise and Whimsiclise My Vagina
    January 12, 2010 at 1:57 am

    wtf is that

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  82. Skully
    January 12, 2010 at 8:13 am

    @#81 Thistle: LOL!

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  83. YippySkippy
    January 12, 2010 at 11:23 am

    How does Beyonce sing with a tracheotomy?

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  84. Ninna2
    January 12, 2010 at 11:27 am

    Trying to make it look like Beyonce – $45.00
    Actually looking like Beyonce – Priceless.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  85. WhimsyMistress
    January 12, 2010 at 2:22 pm

    #73- you made me laugh out loud. Thank you.

    skully – priceless, as always. AND.. any thread that can get from Beyonce to an Iggy Pop Lust for Life reference is a great thread indeed.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  86. kent
    January 12, 2010 at 2:58 pm

    I would encourage you to start with someone and something easier to mold ….perhaps Rosie O’Donnell made from things you could have your young pals pick up in public restrooms.Or you could just keep using stuff you make in your own bathroom.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  87. VoteAudrey
    January 13, 2010 at 11:02 am

    I don’t know what’s better the “I tried,” or “shoulda put a face on it.” Classic.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  88. FreshFruit
    January 18, 2010 at 2:09 am

    WHY in the hell is there a fracking *rope* around Beyonce’s neck? Also: Lamprey vagina mouth is crazy creepy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

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