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Beyonce What

Posted by Helen Killer

89 comments

- Submitted by Anna

If you liked it, then you shoulda put a face on it.

Filed in Dolls 89 comments

89 Comments

Add Comment

Jan 11, 2010
10:53 am

#1 leftfoot :

So.. uhhhhh.. she has a vagina on her face?

Rate this comment: +32

Jan 11, 2010
10:54 am

#2 sudabaki :

I’ve gotta get over myself and just set up shop. “I really tried to make her like Beyonce.” If she can sell something for $45 that she is only confident enough to say she tried then I need to stop worrying and just do.

Rate this comment: +43

Jan 11, 2010
10:56 am

#3 cbb :

that thing has a gigantic ass.

Rate this comment: +9

Jan 11, 2010
10:58 am

#4 samner :

You simply don’t need a face when your packing that kind of badonk.

Rate this comment: +38

Jan 11, 2010
10:59 am

#5 Bronc Drywall :

“I really tried to make her like Beyonce…”

There’s only so much any of us can do. I really tried to like Cheap Trick and it never worked.

Rate this comment: +73

Jan 11, 2010
11:01 am

#6 Treed :

I like it. :::::ducking:::::

Rate this comment: +33

Jan 11, 2010
11:01 am

#7 ThisJustMakesMeSad :

Really trying and pulling it off are two totally different things.

Rate this comment: +17

Jan 11, 2010
11:02 am

#8 Helen Killer :

@ #3 cbb – So does the doll.

Rate this comment: +29

Jan 11, 2010
11:02 am

#9 strawberrylumps :

I look like Beyonce when I don’t have a face too.

Rate this comment: +67

Jan 11, 2010
11:03 am

#10 Orlana :

“Small silver cabochon beads”

They’re rhinestones, dear.

Also, Beyounce wouldn’t be caught dead in that dress.

Rate this comment: +15

Jan 11, 2010
11:03 am

#11 sudabaki :

#4 Bronc Drywall: Maybe she’d like Beyonce if she didn’t have grommets for ears.

Rate this comment: +27

Jan 11, 2010
11:03 am

#12 Fo5ter :

Bahahaha, Helen, I was singing your comment as I read it. WWKD?

(What would Kanye Do?)

Rate this comment: +5

Jan 11, 2010
11:03 am

#13 razberries :

she looks very robot-like…but that does appear to be a metallic “glory hole”

i think this one looks more vagoo-esque..
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=31843639

Rate this comment: +13

Jan 11, 2010
11:05 am

#14 Skully :

That earring looks inviting – as Iggy Pop sang: Of course I’ve had it in the ear before…

Rate this comment: +8

Jan 11, 2010
11:07 am

#15 Orlana :

Dammit, Skully, now “Lust For Life” is gonna be stuck in my head all day.

Rate this comment: +1

Jan 11, 2010
11:22 am

#16 DucksNew :

Why is she singing into a vibrator? Is this one of those “private moments”?

Rate this comment: +14

Jan 11, 2010
11:24 am

#17 Patty has been abuducted by an alien :

I’m really concerned about her skeletal arm. Does her arm have an eating disorder?

Rate this comment: +15

Jan 11, 2010
11:24 am

#18 itsnotatumor :

i really like the rhinestone nipple, coupled with the vagoo mouth and the vibrator microphone. it’s classy and makes me want to buy it

Rate this comment: +27

Jan 11, 2010
11:26 am

#19 TooManyCookbooks :

So Beyonce is really a cylon? That explains a bit.

Rate this comment: +22

Jan 11, 2010
11:27 am

#20 Wilma Fingerdoo :

Skully-
I always thought that Iggy was saying “of course I’ve had it in the rear before..”
Go figure.

Can someone photoshop the girl with the pearl earring eyes on Beyonce. That would be nice.

Rate this comment: +18

Jan 11, 2010
11:27 am

#21 rainbowcrafter :

This is so wrong, everybody knows that Beyonce performs in leotard and…has a face!

Rate this comment: +2

Jan 11, 2010
11:34 am

#22 palJacky :

The real question is if one sticks pins in it will Beyonce feel it? If so $45 is dirt cheap.

Rate this comment: +17

Jan 11, 2010
11:37 am

#23 Moons in Leo :

“Beyonce” only reminds me of the Twilight Zone episode where they kept operating on the beautiful woman to make her look like everyone else (ugly).

Rate this comment: +10

Jan 11, 2010
11:37 am

#24 Skully :

@#5 Bronc:
To the tune of Surrender (Chorus)
Helen’s alright, Bronc is alright.
There’s just one website for me:
Regretsy, Regretsy,
For whimsical fuckery.

Rate this comment: +29

Jan 11, 2010
11:38 am

#25 Monstrosa :

I this from that anime where faceless things with gaping mouths come after people to devour them? Or is it that nightmare I had from falling asleep watching anime?

Rate this comment: +4

Jan 11, 2010
11:38 am

#26 Orlana :

#20 Wilma, pour vous!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v45/orlanahelmes/il_fullxfull93682213.jpg

Rate this comment: +19

Jan 11, 2010
11:48 am

#27 txesg :

I’m going to see if I can work the phrase ”stiff the ribbon“ into a sentence today.

Rate this comment: +38

Jan 11, 2010
11:50 am

#28 flare :

it’s actually not bad -i’ll even accept the odd face with the silver lips. What I can’t accept is the stiff ribbon and sequins at the bottom. Reminded me of one of those creepy toilet paper dolls my Nana had in her bathroom.

Rate this comment: +4

Jan 11, 2010
11:57 am

#29 lasserine :

If I were that white silk ribbon, I would have pleaded too.

Rate this comment: +17

Jan 11, 2010
12:00 pm

#30 Wilma Fingerdoo :

#26- Thank you, Orlana! That’s much better. It reminds me of the My First Teddy Bear that had no eyes or face either.
Can’t figure out why you would put so much detail into the fugly dress and not poke some damn eye holes.

Rate this comment: +3

Jan 11, 2010
12:20 pm

#31 hoser :

Did she use the same earing as that cyclops eye hole ?
I also like the mic that looks like a bit fat cigar. She prob needs it cause she can’t think straight – her brain prob fell out of the cyclops hole in the front of her face.
Her arm looks like it was inspired from a coat hanger.

Rate this comment: +1

Jan 11, 2010
12:23 pm

#32 ellipser :

“all my dolls are one of a kind”

Thank GAWD…

Rate this comment: +15

Jan 11, 2010
12:24 pm

#33 ellipser :

scuse me…”all my work is…”

Rate this comment: 0

Jan 11, 2010
12:33 pm

#34 sKate :

Dementor-face.

Rate this comment: +16

Jan 11, 2010
12:43 pm

#35 polaroidart :

I like it too, actually…
sorry.

Rate this comment: +2

Jan 11, 2010
12:47 pm

#36 sudabaki :

I kind of like it too but I don’t get the Beyonce thing.

Rate this comment: +8

Jan 11, 2010
12:49 pm

#37 Helen Killer :

AWESOME AVATAR

Rate this comment: +8

Jan 11, 2010
12:50 pm

#38 polaroidart :

I guess she wanted the doll to look like
Beyonce..it probably doesn’t that much.
But it’s nicely done.

Rate this comment: +1

Jan 11, 2010
12:52 pm

#39 sudabaki :

#37 Helen Killer :

*looking around*

who me?

Rate this comment: +5

Jan 11, 2010
12:53 pm

#40 polaroidart :

Sudabaki- i love your avi too!

Rate this comment: +4

Jan 11, 2010
12:55 pm

#41 Rob T Firefly :

This looks almost as insane as the real Beyonce.

Rate this comment: +1

Jan 11, 2010
12:55 pm

#42 razberries :

the resemblance is uncanny…
http://www.flickr.com/photos/27900808@N06/4267162606/

Rate this comment: +23

Jan 11, 2010
12:56 pm

#43 NinjaGato :

$45 for a lump of clay and doesn’t even look like Beyonce and doesn’t have eyes…wow

Rate this comment: +2

Jan 11, 2010
1:05 pm

#44 turtlegirl76 :

When the ribbons start pleading, it’s time to put the glue gun down.

Rate this comment: +18

Jan 11, 2010
1:14 pm

#45 lynne :

#27 – that shouldn’t be too hard:)

Rate this comment: 0

Jan 11, 2010
1:14 pm

#46 Patty has been abuducted by an alien :

#42 razberries: Hilarious!

I just set my water down before I clicked the link. I’d have had Mountain Dew Throwback all over my desk if I hadn’t.

Rate this comment: 0

Jan 11, 2010
1:14 pm

#47 sudabaki :

Hey thanks. Check otu fo5ter’s new avi when you get a chance too. I figured I’d beat the thumbs down trolls to the punch.

Rate this comment: +2

Jan 11, 2010
1:22 pm

#48 sunshynegrll :

Orlana beat me to the Girl With a Pearl Earring eyes, so I gave that big butt a purpose.

http://twitpic.com/xpgyq

Rate this comment: +25

Jan 11, 2010
1:28 pm

#49 sudabaki :

#48 sunshynegrll:

Say What! Love it!

Rate this comment: +5

Jan 11, 2010
1:40 pm

#50 whimsiclefuckery :

“White silk pleaded ribbon”… You mean like it pleaded with her “Don’t put me on that awful doll! Please!”

You know you’re in trouble when your pleats bleat for mercy.

Rate this comment: +11

Jan 11, 2010
1:43 pm

#51 whimsiclefuckery :

#27 txesg : I’m hearing the Puerto Rican aids walker from Seinfeld “Who? Who can not stiff the ribbon?!”

Rate this comment: +6

Jan 11, 2010
1:43 pm

#52 whyohwhy :

Wow, never knew that faceless terracotta clay superstars could freak me. Thanks for the nightmares.

Rate this comment: +3

Jan 11, 2010
1:44 pm

#53 Recovering Crack Baby :

Why does her face look like it is ready to fuck the shit out of that microphone

Rate this comment: +8

Jan 11, 2010
1:49 pm

#54 Sandra D :

Some of the stuff in this shop is really quite good, I like her glasses and angel cats, but she needs to stop with the faceless women, they’re fugly.

Rate this comment: +8

Jan 11, 2010
1:49 pm

#55 flare :

can i just ask… since we’re kinda on topic… how does one change their avitar… not that i don’t love Milton

Rate this comment: 0

Jan 11, 2010
1:55 pm

#56 sudabaki :

#55 flare: you need to go to http://en.gravatar.com/ and set up an account. You upload a picture there and it will update here. It’s easy (in theory).

Rate this comment: +3

Jan 11, 2010
1:55 pm

#57 Sandra D :

I’m working on that now flare, I know you go to gravatar and set one up there. This post will let me know if I got it right lol.

Rate this comment: +1

Jan 11, 2010
1:58 pm

#58 Sandra D :

Ok gravatar AND make sure you use the same email addy as you use here.

Rate this comment: +1

Jan 11, 2010
2:05 pm

#59 Wilma Fingerdoo :

#48 Sunshynegrll-
That takes the cake! We can all go home now.

Still surprised no one put a ring on it. Though the weight of it might break the freakishly skinny arm.

Rate this comment: +6

Jan 11, 2010
2:06 pm

#60 starrydreams :

That gaping hole for a mouth is kind of creepy.
#24 Skully- too funny!!!

Rate this comment: +1

Jan 11, 2010
2:22 pm

#61 Sushisimo :

Where’s her man, Clay Z.

Rate this comment: +27

Jan 11, 2010
2:26 pm

#62 Sculptor69 :

Guh. This just pisses me off. What’s a gal gotta do to sell some art? Suck? (would you like fries with your double entendre??)

Rate this comment: +15

Jan 11, 2010
3:04 pm

#63 lilprincess :

I’m still wondering why she’s stiffing the ribbon. What did it ever do to her?

No matter what, with the creepy half fingers and the face of nothingness, its a nightmare inducer.

Rate this comment: +1

Jan 11, 2010
3:09 pm

#64 Orlana :

#48 sunshynegrll,
Epic. You now have a new follower on Twitter btw (I’m twistdshangrila)

Rate this comment: +2

Jan 11, 2010
3:09 pm

#65 razberries :

off topic, and i may look/sound like a dork, but i have a collection of these faceless figures, and i love them…

http://www.demdaco.com/SearchResult.aspx?CategoryID=2&Manufacturer=58&Vendor=176&ViewAll=True

Rate this comment: +1

Jan 11, 2010
3:21 pm

#66 NinjaGato :

raz there’s a difference between those figurines and THAT figurine…namely quality

Rate this comment: +6

Jan 11, 2010
3:22 pm

#67 NinjaGato :

If ya liked it then ya shoulda put a face on it

Rate this comment: -2

Jan 11, 2010
3:24 pm

#68 Sculptor69 :

I figured it out! It’s representative art.

Representative of crap, that is.

Rate this comment: +1

Jan 11, 2010
3:27 pm

#69 lemon floor wax :

Perhaps she could team up with the lady who makes vulva/vagina necklaces. The necklace lady could make a real tiny vagoo to use instead of the silver amorphous blob on her face and THEN I’d pay $45 for it.

Rate this comment: +2

Jan 11, 2010
3:35 pm

#70 BettyMachete :

#14 Skully- anyone who references Iggy Pop lyrics deserves a prize…found this in her shop. Will virtually buy this for you
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=mt&listing_id=32001411

Rate this comment: +7

Jan 11, 2010
3:43 pm

#71 Wilma Fingerdoo :

#70- Betty
I agree. Iggy rocks. Best line in Lust for Life “that’s like hypnotizing chickens”.

I think faceless Beyonce could hypnotize some chickens, don’t you?

Rate this comment: +6

Jan 11, 2010
3:58 pm

#72 BettyMachete :

Yay Wilma! PS I think your sister Gail stole those teddy bear eyes when you were a child. Thought they were DOTS candy or somethin’.
That Beyonce would do more than hyp-no-tize, she’s a bedazzled voodoo doll.

Rate this comment: +5

Jan 11, 2010
4:23 pm

#73 HelenaHandbasket :

I really tried to make a comment about this artwork that really looks like no one, nor even like a human being. I depressed the keyboard in sequence to make letters forming English words, then stringing them into an almost coherent sentence. I affixed semi-appropriate punctuation, and made spaces between the words and sentences. Still, it all comes up crap.

Rate this comment: +9

Jan 11, 2010
4:25 pm

#74 Wilma Fingerdoo :

Yes, Betty,
I do believe bedazzled voodoo doll with a gromet pie hole pretty much sums it up.

Rate this comment: +4

Jan 11, 2010
4:34 pm

#75 Skully :

@#70 Betty Machete: Gotta love Iggy – I’m a street walking cheetah with a heart full of napalm…

This is for you:

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=24809043&ref=sr_gallery_21&&ga_search_query=roller+derby&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_page=&includes=tags&includes=title

Rate this comment: +5

Jan 11, 2010
4:41 pm

#76 Skully :

@#71 Wilma: You know how to hypnotize a chicken?

A. Lightly push its beak to the ground, then draw a straight line in the dirt from its beak outward.

B. Push its head under its wing, rock it back and forth, then place it gently on the ground.

The chicken will sit motionless until you clap your hands. I shit you not.

Rate this comment: +9

Jan 11, 2010
4:44 pm

#77 Wilma Fingerdoo :

Damn, Skully,
If only I had some chickens lying around this funny farm I’d try it out right now. I BELIEVE.
Does it work on small children, say toddlers, too?

Rate this comment: +11

Jan 11, 2010
4:48 pm

#78 Skully :

Wilma, I tried it on our daughter, didn’t work, just made her crankier.

Rate this comment: +9

Jan 11, 2010
4:59 pm

#79 Wilma Fingerdoo :

Sorry to hear, Skully.

Nothing’s worse than a cranky chicken daughter.

Rate this comment: +9

Jan 11, 2010
6:17 pm

#80 BettyMachete :

Oh my God, Skully~ LUV that Roller Derby plate. Kinda reminds me what I look like in the roller rink. Thank you!!
OH and Wilma- I recall you had baby chicks at Easter time…Shoulda tried it then. You can do Skully’s tricks on my teenagers? They will do any dare for M&M’s

Rate this comment: +4

Jan 11, 2010
6:48 pm

#81 Thistle :

yo skully, i’m really happy for you and imma let you finish, but the beyonce doll has the biggest ass of all time! OF ALL TIME!

Rate this comment: +16

Jan 12, 2010
1:57 am

#82 Feel Free To Customise and Whimsiclise My Vagina :

wtf is that

Rate this comment: +2

Jan 12, 2010
8:13 am

#83 Skully :

@#81 Thistle: LOL!

Rate this comment: +2

Jan 12, 2010
11:23 am

#84 YippySkippy :

How does Beyonce sing with a tracheotomy?

Rate this comment: +2

Jan 12, 2010
11:27 am

#85 Ninna2 :

Trying to make it look like Beyonce – $45.00
Actually looking like Beyonce – Priceless.

Rate this comment: +2

Jan 12, 2010
2:22 pm

#86 WhimsyMistress :

#73- you made me laugh out loud. Thank you.

skully – priceless, as always. AND.. any thread that can get from Beyonce to an Iggy Pop Lust for Life reference is a great thread indeed.

Rate this comment: +2

Jan 12, 2010
2:58 pm

#87 kent :

I would encourage you to start with someone and something easier to mold ….perhaps Rosie O’Donnell made from things you could have your young pals pick up in public restrooms.Or you could just keep using stuff you make in your own bathroom.

Rate this comment: +2

Jan 13, 2010
11:02 am

#88 VoteAudrey :

I don’t know what’s better the “I tried,” or “shoulda put a face on it.” Classic.

Rate this comment: +1

Jan 18, 2010
2:09 am

#89 FreshFruit :

WHY in the hell is there a fracking *rope* around Beyonce’s neck? Also: Lamprey vagina mouth is crazy creepy.

Rate this comment: +1