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Hellephant

GUESS WHAT NOW YOU DON’T HAVE TO MAKE TWO TRIPS TO THE TRASH

85 comments on Hellephant

  1. karen710
    January 7, 2010 at 1:33 pm

    spray that filthy thing with purell!!! yuck. you gotta be kidding!!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +31

  2. Skully
    January 7, 2010 at 1:34 pm

    What the fuck is that pink wire for? His hearing aid?

    Thumb up Thumb down +150

  3. GoldenAppleofDiscord
    January 7, 2010 at 1:35 pm

    Thinking I might get this, but I just want to make sure that all the cat hair will still be intact if I make this purchase. Otherwise I’m not interested!

    Thumb up Thumb down +95

  4. ThisJustMakesMeSad
    January 7, 2010 at 1:35 pm

    What the heck is that wire thing protruding from his head??

    And why is the other end of it shoved up his ass??

    Thumb up Thumb down +61

  5. Wilma Fingerdoo
    January 7, 2010 at 1:40 pm

    I know a kid who might love him.
    Pigpen from Peanuts.

    Is it necessary to photograph his filthiness from different angles?

    Thumb up Thumb down +45

  6. moi
    January 7, 2010 at 1:41 pm

    Oh My gawd are you kidding me?!?! That thing is nasty, it would not go near my house much less my kid!

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  7. Saraf
    January 7, 2010 at 1:43 pm

    this shop is like a trip through my grandmother’s attic – and i’ve seen at least 8 things I want to buy (including this poor, sad elephant) – now i’m feeling nostalgic….

    Thumb up Thumb down +26

  8. FuckADuckk
    January 7, 2010 at 1:43 pm

    I know someone who LOVES buying toys like this then making them in to art pieces, the crustier they are, the better. So, you never know.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  9. fifi-leCroc
    January 7, 2010 at 1:52 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -15

  10. quizzicalpussy
    January 7, 2010 at 1:53 pm

    Some of us look in the “free bin” at a garage sale and think “what filth!” and some of us think “income source!” You tell me who is wise.

    Thumb up Thumb down +47

  11. steviesegel
    January 7, 2010 at 1:54 pm

    I wouldn’t even let my dog play with that!

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  12. WasteOfAces
    January 7, 2010 at 1:54 pm
  13. getsy
    January 7, 2010 at 1:55 pm

    Why did he leave the island of misfit toys? I think he would fit in nicely there.

    Thumb up Thumb down +35

  14. CynQ
    January 7, 2010 at 2:01 pm

    The real problem I have with this is the misuse of the Etsy site. Etsy is for handmade crap. In other words, crap you made yourself. It is not intended for selling factory-made crap that is old and worn and clearly at some point buried in the back yard by the dog. Even he knew it was time to get rid of that thing.

    Thumb up Thumb down +107

  15. IscreamUscream
    January 7, 2010 at 2:03 pm

    You meant to say the island of mis-shit toys, right? :lol:

    Thumb up Thumb down +37

  16. starrydreams
    January 7, 2010 at 2:04 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -9

  17. Bemused
    January 7, 2010 at 2:05 pm

    Wonder where his trunk has been?

    Thumb up Thumb down +28

  18. wowow
    January 7, 2010 at 2:07 pm

    LOL! and she could have googled how to spell corduroy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  19. lamarmota
    January 7, 2010 at 2:07 pm

    What is the purpose of the wire? Is it connected to a detonator of some sort?

    Thumb up Thumb down +49

  20. Bemused
    January 7, 2010 at 2:08 pm

    Description of this one cracks me up!!!
    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=38014693

    Thumb up Thumb down +40

  21. TheOldGuy
    January 7, 2010 at 2:10 pm

    I’m with #7.

    A little sewing, a couple washes and I think you’d have a happy kid. Today’s squidgy ultrasoft fake-fur plushie toys can’t compete with a cotton-stuffed elephant in a tactile wide-wale corduroy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  22. quizzicalpussy
    January 7, 2010 at 2:13 pm

    @#2, #4, #18, I believe he originally had posable ears, which is why that piece of wire is still attached. The fabric of the ear ripped off and the skeleton remains.

    Someday soon all the other plush elephants will visit that wire in a graveyard, if someone doesn’t attempt to sell it as “Awesome cute DIY toy wire >LOOK!<"

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  23. HelenaHandbasket
    January 7, 2010 at 2:17 pm

    As if there were any doubt, he’s smarter than this pathetic Hoarder Reject Seller. “He thinks no one will ever love him.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  24. sudabaki
    January 7, 2010 at 2:18 pm

    “GUESS WHAT NOW YOU DON’T HAVE TO MAKE TWO TRIPS TO THE TRASH”

    Wouldn’t that be easier than a trip to the post office?

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

  25. babalu
    January 7, 2010 at 2:22 pm

    Honestly, how about putting your item THROUGH THE WASH before you list it for sale!??!!! ack!!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  26. monkeysnacks
    January 7, 2010 at 2:31 pm

    you’d have to make sure your kids shots were all up to date before letting them near that thing…or give em’ a hazmat suit…maybe both

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  27. bootsychoo
    January 7, 2010 at 2:33 pm

    Darn – it sold already!
    *sigh*
    That’s alright – not sure I would’ve wanted it without visible chew marks.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  28. Rowan
    January 7, 2010 at 2:33 pm

    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=33664541

    Holy Poop! Someone bought that crusty critter!

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  29. Bemused
    January 7, 2010 at 2:36 pm

    #25 Rowan :
    Wondering if someone bought it for a wedding present for Helen/April…

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  30. saucerville
    January 7, 2010 at 2:37 pm

    Is this handmade?
    Is this vintage?

    WTF?

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  31. kittyofassisi
    January 7, 2010 at 2:38 pm

    check this out. if you have a pair of pinking shears you can start your own business.

    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=38016364

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  32. Skully
    January 7, 2010 at 2:41 pm

    To the tune of Baby Mine (from Dumbo):

    Hellephant, where’s your ear?
    Why the wire up your rear?
    You’re so damn filthy and old,
    I’m glad you sold,
    Hellephant dear.

    Thumb up Thumb down +37

  33. PussDaddy
    January 7, 2010 at 2:41 pm

    Well that just settles it. I am gathering up all my trash and pawning it off on idiots on Etsy who will buy it. I mean some stuff is just garbage it is that damn simple. I never got why anyone would list stuff saying
    This item is in perfect condition! Except for a misssing right ear, a cracked left foot, a hairline fracture running front to back, and some crazing and glazing this item is as perfect as the day it rolled off the assembly line!

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  34. PussDaddy
    January 7, 2010 at 2:42 pm

    I simply gotta find a way to make my 3 cat’s litter box droppings pay off for me.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  35. Efit
    January 7, 2010 at 2:53 pm

    @#31 – string them turds on a necklace.

    I like the sad little elephant. Reminds me of Corduroy, the bear with the missing button. I’ve got a soft spot for cute underdogs, even if they are a bit crusty dirty.

    Thumb up Thumb down +35

  36. frootloop
    January 7, 2010 at 2:58 pm

    i always give my kids our dogs old chew toys…

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  37. Je
    January 7, 2010 at 2:59 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -13

  38. Magischer Esel
    January 7, 2010 at 3:02 pm

    Is it ok if I made a View it in a Room on my own? You have inspired me Helen!

    http://i68.photobucket.com/albums/i30/nathanglick/CatToySqualor.jpg

    Thumb up Thumb down +58

  39. moi
    January 7, 2010 at 3:06 pm

    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=38016794

    Has a slight stain but not really noticeable? The whole dress is like one big stain. Maybe they has a form of colorblindness where they can’t see brown…so that they can’t see the nasty brown dirt/stains/etc.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  40. Moons in Leo
    January 7, 2010 at 3:07 pm

    I suppose I can believe that is someone has the balls to post this for sale that someone is crazy enough to buy it.

    I think this woman might be on the next episode of Hoarders.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  41. PussDaddy
    January 7, 2010 at 3:11 pm

    Looks like someone pissed all over that dress and let it dry #36 moi.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  42. IscreamUscream
    January 7, 2010 at 3:15 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -9

  43. bellablue
    January 7, 2010 at 3:18 pm

    I’m sad to admit that I have a very sensitive 6 year old who loves elephants. If she saw that she would feel terrible for it and want it because “Mama, it neeeeds me!” I can assure you she WON’T be seeing that listing!!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  44. whoanellee
    January 7, 2010 at 3:29 pm

    Headline reads:
    “Homeless Child Has Toy Snatched Out of Her Hands So Lame Esty Seller Can Make a Quick Buck!”

    Byline:
    “Lame Esty Seller Returns to Steal the Ear, Homeless Child Devastated”

    Thumb up Thumb down +35

  45. whoanellee
    January 7, 2010 at 3:30 pm

    This is despicable. I thought this kind of crap was reserved for ebay.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  46. Wilma Fingerdoo
    January 7, 2010 at 3:34 pm

    #35 Efit- I like Corduroy too… but he was clean.

    This one is Corderoy. Poor dirty thing’s not even spelled correctly.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  47. Patty has been abuducted by an alien
    January 7, 2010 at 3:48 pm

    I feel like an idiot now. When my kids out-grew their toys, we sat down together and went through them. Into the trash with some, the clean, still-working toys went to a local domestic violence shelter. (which is where the baby crib and a whole bunch of clothing went as well).

    I should’ve saved that trash bag and sold it instead. Who knew there was a market for this kind of garbage?

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  48. Bemused
    January 7, 2010 at 3:49 pm

    #38 Magischer Esel :
    LOVE IT! The room is a craft room, I take it. Where’s the Say What guy with this item?

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  49. whimsey
    January 7, 2010 at 3:53 pm

    I can guess the reason this sold; it’s probably because some loving mother wanted to give her child the gift of tetanus.

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  50. palJacky
    January 7, 2010 at 4:25 pm

    do yourself a favor and check out some this seller’s other crap. If you want to decorate your house in ‘early orphange’ you know where to go.
    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=38016518

    Is perhaps my favorite. Pinking sheared hearts.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  51. Texchanchan
    January 7, 2010 at 4:33 pm

    @#31 kittyofasissi Re cutting paper hearts out of children’s books: Cutting a book up to make decorative hearts (for scrapbooking – or for anything!) goes against my bibliophile beliefs. Books are for reading, not for dismembering like a barbarian having at a stained glass window.

    Thumb up Thumb down +26

  52. whyohwhy
    January 7, 2010 at 4:34 pm

    Think I sold a similar elephant in my shop – vintage and mint – for $4.25.

    Guess it’s worth more when it comes with biohazard.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  53. Recovering Crack Baby
    January 7, 2010 at 4:54 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -4

  54. palJacky
    January 7, 2010 at 5:04 pm

    seriously guys, everything this person is selling is really depressing. a dario argento or Rob Zombie film could have entire room decorated with it in for its prologue, then something horrible happens in front of a six year old child then the screen flashes’twenty years later’ as the titles roll.

    Yes, I am one of those sic fucks who sees Rob Zombie movies,everyone so far on opening day. it could be worse, I could be one those sic fucks who actually acts in Rob Zombie films.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  55. NinjaGato
    January 7, 2010 at 5:15 pm

    Why don’t you fucking sew on that missing ear that you found and throw it in the washing machine?

    Regretsy how I’ve missed you.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  56. NinjaGato
    January 7, 2010 at 5:18 pm

    palJacky- are you aware that one of those sick fucks that acts in Rob Zombies movies is our very own fearless leader Ms. Killer?

    also sick has a K in it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

  57. Thistle
    January 7, 2010 at 5:47 pm

    brought to our attention by #20:

    “Im not sure what I think about this poodle , I dont really like poodles anyway, so I hope someone adopts her soon … She will be waiting for you in her basket, the one with the lid ,where all the creepy dolls live.”

    the “poodle” itself looks like it has had all of its insides sucked out by some giant spider.

    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=38014693

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  58. MrsPhyllisTorgo
    January 7, 2010 at 5:53 pm

    My grandparents have that exact same linoleum. I don’t know how to feel about the fact that other people have it. The blood red with flecks in it is truly hideous.

    Thumb up Thumb down -2

  59. hoser
    January 7, 2010 at 6:07 pm

    I’m assuming the wire is the left over antena used to transmit a conversation to the looney bin. Where i’m assuming the person selling this resides. Just because a doll could be creepy doesn’t mean it was used as a potty wipe by some squeegee kid. YUK

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  60. dustbunny
    January 7, 2010 at 6:24 pm

    So this is what I can do with all the dog-chewed toys around the house. I’m sitting ona gold mine! What the hell are some people thinking.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  61. aroseisarose
    January 7, 2010 at 7:22 pm

    “It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +30

  62. aroseisarose
    January 7, 2010 at 7:37 pm

    You also don’t sell those people on Etsy. -_-

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  63. razberries
    January 7, 2010 at 7:39 pm

    ninjagato- regarding #55- yes! I was thinking that too about sewing on the ear! And I was late getting here also, RCB- what *was* the price?

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  64. jwheeler
    January 7, 2010 at 8:04 pm

    does it come with a free swine flu shot?

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  65. MaryBeth
    January 7, 2010 at 8:16 pm

    I briefly wonder why my Etsy “finds” are not featured on Regretsy. Then I see something like this and my question is answered.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  66. Meg88
    January 7, 2010 at 8:38 pm

    This HAS to be an old dog toy. HAS TO BE. (And WHAT THE HELL IT SOLD?!)

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  67. NinjaGato
    January 7, 2010 at 8:42 pm

    it sold. a ripped up dirty piece of shit sold. and I’m having trouble even getting views. WHAT THE FUCK?

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  68. MaryBeth
    January 7, 2010 at 8:55 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -4

  69. PussDaddy
    January 7, 2010 at 9:19 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -7

  70. NinjaGato
    January 7, 2010 at 9:32 pm

    She even admits in her shop announcement that shes having an Etsy garage sale.

    Thumb up Thumb down -2

  71. supertamsf
    January 7, 2010 at 9:32 pm

    “GUESS WHAT I FOUND HIS MISSING EAR!”

    Did you pull it out of a compost bin?

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  72. supertamsf
    January 7, 2010 at 9:35 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -3

  73. supertamsf
    January 7, 2010 at 9:39 pm

    A good rinse in a bucket of urine would clean it right up.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  74. supertamsf
    January 7, 2010 at 9:49 pm

    Everything from this seller is soiled and morose.
    Perfect for little Orphan Crack-head Annie
    http://www.etsy.com/shop/willislisa

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  75. pd417
    January 8, 2010 at 8:02 am

    I am a misfit elephant with a missing ear and a wire attached to my ass…will you adopt me?

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  76. tejasmom
    January 8, 2010 at 11:54 am

    I think Etsy is really falling down on the job. How does this junk qualify as merchandise? I guess I should read the rules and start looking through the trash!

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  77. Constant Reader
    January 8, 2010 at 12:46 pm

    Re # 74 and #76: I took a look at this person’s shop and I wondered what she is doing on Etsy. She belongs on eBay where there really is a market for these sorts of things. Those who call themselves mixed media artists are quite fond of using stuff like this in their art. Etsy fees must be less than eBay’s. Perhaps that is why all these “vintage” items are appearing on Etsy. To check out mixed media art, look at the publications at http://www.stampington.com

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  78. quokkaqueen
    January 8, 2010 at 4:37 pm

    Constant Reader @ 77 — Ebay fees increase the more your original listing price is, and the length of time you want it for. Etsy is 40 cents US, flat rate for four months.
    (This is why a lot of people seemingly use etsy as a virtual art gallery with all their work up, and exorbitant prices nobody would actually pay.)

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  79. bananabread
    January 8, 2010 at 6:34 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -3

  80. StinkBait
    January 9, 2010 at 5:49 am

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -3

  81. JustJon
    January 9, 2010 at 8:48 am

    Okay, see, here is the problem. There is still that slightly “special” (the doctor said it was nothing) 5 year old in me who thinks that stuffed animals, despite all science to the contrary, are actually sentient beings with their own thoughts and feelings. So while I would never want to own something like that, I still see it and say “awwwwww.”

    Im 39, sue me.

    Thumb up Thumb down +33

  82. JustJon
    January 9, 2010 at 8:49 am

    I also think it’s a tragedy that he’s been impaled by the seller. It makes him look even sadder.

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

  83. Cori Scores
    February 17, 2010 at 1:13 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -6

  84. Barney Rubble
    November 30, 2010 at 10:44 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -12

  85. HisOtherEar
    September 19, 2011 at 2:40 am

    Origin of HOE.

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

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