3/18/10 TOTAL: $661.69
Profits from Regretsy merchandise are used to hire Etsy artists to create handmade products for various charities, or to directly benefit Etsy sellers in need.
All revenue generated by Regretsy.com is donated to charitable works. See our Charity page for complete information.
Money raised to date for all projects: $1761.69
Book News
103 comments
As you know, I’m working on a Regretsy book for Random House. It’s starting to get exciting now as all the pieces are coming together, and it should be nearly done in just a few days!
One of the things I’m really excited about is the artwork in the book. I was able to get Random House to let me hire Etsy artists to illustrate each of the chapters (and yes, the Say What guy is making an appearance).
The artwork below is for the “Decor” chapter, and it’s so wonderful that I had to post it right away so you could see it.
How great is that?
The woman who made these pillows and took this photo is named Claire Chambers, and she has an Etsy shop called Absolutely Small. She’s selling these very pillows right now, so if you want to buy them before she becomes famous and insufferable, click here.
I’m really proud of this book, and I’m really happy to be working with such great people.
In other news, I have signed a deal with Conde Nast Publications!
Starting next month (or as soon as I finish the book), I will be writing a column for Brides.com. Basically, I’ll be snarking on wedding trends and bad bridal fashion.
There really is a world of shit out there that people try to pawn off on women who are already way out of control emotionally, and totally overcome with unrealistic expectations. It’s kind of like what a funeral home does to you when you come in to bury someone, and everything seems like a justifiable expense. You only die once!
Isn’t this fantastic? A whole new world to make fun of. I can hardly wait to ruin your wedding!
Today is a travel day, so I won’t be able to post again until Thursday. I’ll be in sitting in a car for 10 hours trying to finish the book with a hangover, so pray for me. See you tomorrow!
Jan 6, 20109:06 am
This is AWESOME, especially the Conde Nast deal.
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Jan 6, 20109:07 am
Also, those dogs are cute.
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Jan 6, 20109:08 am
I am not telling my husband or in laws. I can’t wait for that to come in the mail and leave it laying around the house.
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Jan 6, 20109:08 am
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Jan 6, 20109:10 am
one thing that got me when I got married was people trying to sell me $300+ mother friggin cake server. ivory, platinum and jewel inlays.. bitches, I got married barefoot on the beach. wtf would I need a cake server that cost more than the justice of the peace.
Or hell, just check out the “my dream wedding” website if you need to refill your angst cup.
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Jan 6, 20109:12 am
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Jan 6, 20109:15 am
And Congrats, WOO! There’s plenty of reasons why hubby and I chose the courthouse option (not to mention the fact that the Judge’s fee was a whopping $5) – unrealistic expectations of my MIL would be chief amongst them.
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Jan 6, 20109:18 am
Speaking of weddings though – I found a BEAUTIFUL vintage wedding dress on etsy – then when was flicking through the photos, discovered that the seller had shoved what appeared to be a plastic wreath on the model’s head in one of the shots… styling FAIL
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Jan 6, 20109:23 am
ps- can i live at claire’s house? dunno what is cuter, her pillows or the pooches
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Jan 6, 20109:24 am
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Jan 6, 20109:30 am
Congrats on your great news!
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Jan 6, 20109:31 am
duh, some people are so jealous; get a life…
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Jan 6, 20109:32 am
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Jan 6, 20109:36 am
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Jan 6, 20109:39 am
Up until now, I thought the only woman who could make a living from being a bitch was Ann Coulter.
Congratulations!!! I look forward to the fantastic fuckery about to invade the bridal industry.
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Jan 6, 20109:40 am
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Jan 6, 20109:41 am
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Jan 6, 20109:45 am
For whomever is going through and just clicking thumbs down on everything, it is apparent you know nothing about karma. You get what you give.
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Jan 6, 20109:46 am
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Jan 6, 20109:56 am
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Jan 6, 201010:04 am
Oh, and CONRATS!
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Jan 6, 201010:07 am
Those pillows are awesome!
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Jan 6, 201010:10 am
and the ‘winchell wiper’.
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Jan 6, 201010:16 am
<3
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Jan 6, 201010:21 am
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Jan 6, 201010:21 am
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Jan 6, 201010:21 am
I wish I could be in the book with my stuff 
Will you still be as active with Regretsy once you’re harping on weddings? This is my favourite site by far and one I talk up constantly. It’s always great to run into other Regretsians
Thanks a million Helen/April!! All the best.
Crossed Promise
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Jan 6, 201010:25 am
claires cushions/pillows look great, looking forward to a PUGCAST about these … i wish i had got that job from you as i have hideous vintage wallpaper in my south dorset lounge .. and rats instead of cute photogenic dogs !
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Jan 6, 201010:31 am
Please remember us when you make it to the Bestseller’s List
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Jan 6, 201010:32 am
Oh! and CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!
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Jan 6, 201010:41 am
Pugs, pillows, accordian, and bongos, awesome combo. Our chug (pug/chihuahua) loves it when I play Wild Thing on the accordian accompanied by our daughter on bongos.
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Jan 6, 201010:57 am
The “Decor” picture is fabulous!
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Jan 6, 201010:58 am
She’s also known for “chicken pants” plush/dolls and I have many living at my house. She even custom made me special chicken pants plush toys for my ferrets.
I’m so excited to see who else I’ll know in the Regretsy book… I have a few guesses.
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Jan 6, 201011:01 am
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Jan 6, 201011:08 am
But if you write an article about the power the evil industry has against brides by calling anything “Tacky” under a certain price point I will have to buy that.
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Jan 6, 201011:08 am
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Jan 6, 201011:15 am
Congratulations April!!! Looking forward to your bridal snarks!!! Let us know which magazine. May your hangover pass quickly!!
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Jan 6, 201011:21 am
That photo is fabulous! Also I want to get married all over again just so you can make fun of my wedding! Weddings are indeed overpriced and years later when you have kids and look at all the money you spent on ridiculous things like swan ice sculptures and over the top centerpieces it makes you cringe.
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Jan 6, 201011:22 am
Wonderful news! Will your bridal column be online too? A double dose of your humor would be great!
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Jan 6, 201012:00 pm
# 20 – re:crooked photo I KNOW!
Cute pillows, cute puppies, but a crooked photo is a huge pet peeve of mine. …My friends just don’t seem to get it when I snatch the camera from their hands (control freak much?)
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Jan 6, 201012:20 pm
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Jan 6, 201012:26 pm
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Jan 6, 201012:32 pm
Congratulations! I’m looking forward to reading the book, and now the column, too!
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Jan 6, 20101:13 pm
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Jan 6, 20101:23 pm
I’m pretty much hated around here so keep your distance, for your sake.
I almost threw in the towel as a new year’s resolution. But too much history and I’ve learned to cherish my astronomic numbers of ‘thumbs down’
I’m just sayin’
and Gavin McCloud is in the building.
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Jan 6, 20101:39 pm
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Jan 6, 20102:13 pm
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Jan 6, 20102:18 pm
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Jan 6, 20102:26 pm
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Jan 6, 20102:36 pm
that can write!
And if there is anything I hate more then
talentless “art” is those damn weddings!
Can’t wait to read it.
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Jan 6, 20102:38 pm
Sully in doubling this pleasure!
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Jan 6, 20103:16 pm
And congrats on the Bridal-Snark gig! Who knows, maybe the next step will be an obituary column
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Jan 6, 20103:17 pm
Heehee, I scored the “d.” My daytime gig is principal of a company called designfarm, flip it around and it’s the first letter of my last name. HOW PERFECT! Wish it came with one of those cutie pie doggies. Thanks Claire. GREAT WORK. Look for me at the front of the jewelry section… snark snark.
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Jan 6, 20103:41 pm
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Jan 6, 20103:54 pm
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Jan 6, 20103:54 pm
Is that a crime or what?
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Jan 6, 20104:01 pm
And congratulations on the new gig! The wedding industry had it coming.
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Jan 6, 20104:03 pm
How wonderful for you and hopeful for an unemployed hoohaa like myself that see’s that good does come back around! I am so happy for you I could spit! Congratulations truly!
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Jan 6, 20104:40 pm
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Jan 6, 20104:47 pm
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Jan 6, 20104:47 pm
One of my comments got tons of thumbs down the other day, since it wasn’t negative of the item. Plus I think there are people that down everything.Rate this comment: +6
Jan 6, 20105:06 pm
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Jan 6, 20105:45 pm
helen, big congrats!if i get married again (ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!) then you can ruin my wedding, for it would certainly deserve it.
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Jan 6, 20106:01 pm
Weddings seem to bring out a lot of Whimsical Flakery on the part of the bride to be.
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Jan 6, 20106:14 pm
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Jan 6, 20107:11 pm
Hopefully your bridal fuckery will be online as well because I have no reason to buy bridal magazines.
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Jan 6, 20107:45 pm
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Jan 6, 20108:50 pm
OK, I totally thought this was going to be one of those “View it in a Room” features, lol. Doesn’t it look like one?
April, you should put a photo of the photo in a frame and hang it above the fireplace … so then it repeats forever.
At any rate, it’s just *begging* for some kind of whimsicle fuckery!
Good luck with everything:)
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Jan 6, 201010:14 pm
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Jan 6, 201010:18 pm
I think I am missing that gene – the wedding planning one anyway! I would love you to commiserate by reflecting most of my inside (and sometimes outside when I am feeling particularly petulant) thoughts when it comes to this “essential” rite of passage. If I am doomed to bridal magazines and ugly caketoppers – I at least want a few decent laughs while I am doing it… and I know I can count on you for that
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Jan 6, 201010:22 pm
“some, ahem, ASSHOLE is thumb’s downing all of our positive comments/congrats-”
They are bitter.
HK–be sure to include enough heinous stuff “made for men” so that guys will crack open your book. I know it’s out there…
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Jan 6, 201010:45 pm
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Jan 6, 201010:48 pm
Then the “neighbors” out here had a wedding at the church and a reception in their machine shed- had to leave kept falling on the gravel and the diesel had me so fucking high I was afraid to drive.
Next invite I get you are invited to be my guest… you will have lots a work around here.
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Jan 6, 201010:57 pm
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Jan 7, 20101:15 am
Hey I like this. Elegant and edgy all at the same time! I’d like a whole aphabet to fiddle around with. And looking forward to your column in “Brides” …. high time we had some levity in that arena. Spend enough to pay for a downpayment on house, dress up like a cupcake, invite hundreds of people you don’t give a shit about so you can impress them with how much you paid for the day. Then file for a divorce five years later. We NEED you, April!
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Jan 7, 20106:35 am
It is beyond interesting. We live where you lock up your anhydrous ammonia tanks so when they sit in the fields the meth makers don’t tap into and steal it.
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Jan 7, 20107:12 am
The Funeral-Industrial Complex and the Wedding-Industrial Complex are close parallels, tho’ people don’t spend a lot of time thinking about what song they want played at their memorial, or where mourners are going to sit at their eulogy; there is no “Corpsezilla” equivalent to “Bridezilla.”
Good luck, and thanks for Regretsy.
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Jan 7, 20108:29 am
Ha ha – I so look forward to wedding snark! My wedding almost entirely DIY (exceptions: the food, his suit, my shoes & hair) and came it at under $5,000. Considering the average US wedding costs $20k, I am very proud of this. Luckily we both come from very reasonable, awesome & crafty families, and both my mom and MIL were totally into it. To this day people still tell us it was the best, coolest wedding they’ve ever been to. And my husband and I actually ENJOYED the planning and the big day.
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Jan 7, 20108:43 am
#78 cont: besides tooting my own horn, I love talking about my DIY wedding to show what BS the “dream wedding” industry is. Husband and I and our fams didn’t have a lot of extra money. When I first started shopping around for venues, dresses, etc, I was heartbroken by the cost of everything. Not to mention that we didn’t want the “traditional” dress/tux or shitty music or lame-ass food. You tell vendors that and they look at you like you don’t deserve to get married. What a crock!
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Jan 7, 20109:13 am
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Jan 7, 20109:18 am
My daughter was just singing “Mary had an accordion” to the tune of Mary had a Little Lamb yesterday. I better leave her here when I visit RCB.
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Jan 7, 20109:20 am
i have a new found respect for you knowing you have two pugs! although, mine are black, and you know what they say about going black.
congrats and happy new year!
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Jan 7, 20109:22 am
Skully- my Husband has a Recording Studio, one of the businesses he has, and I assist him when I can. We get all kinds out here, John is known as the Jedi of mixing and mastering. Brief background- he went to school at Full Sail in Florida and worked for MTV for quite a few years in the 90’s. Anyhoo- we get alot of people out here and not just for hunting, as they seek his skills and love being in nowhere land and having a large cabin they can stay in. Unfortunately this includes Polka.
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Jan 7, 20109:27 am
#81 cont. Now the accordian is not so bad for awhile- however when they stop and start and stop and start and redo 1 part 999 times it makes you want to well- dislike the noise it makes. You might be thinking right now that isn’t so bad. Well when they leave 900 hours of recording needs to be mixed and mastered into a 45 minute CD and you can hear that for Days, hours, months and there is how my dislike for accordians began.
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Jan 7, 20109:28 am
Skully- tell me about the Skull- I have wondered about that.
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Jan 7, 20109:30 am
#80- Bah ahahahahaaa…. you can bring her we have plenty of space to hide kids.
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Jan 7, 201010:00 am
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Jan 7, 201010:02 am
sure skully and when you get here we have some “Varga’s” you can listen to as well…..x
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Jan 7, 201010:18 am
Did you know you can buy that Varga album on iTunes? Yes Skully I’m also on the left coast. Can we ride the Regretsy float out to visit RCB?
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Jan 7, 201011:10 am
RCB, regarding skulls, I’ve always been fascinated by bones, esp. skulls, not sure why, maybe as reminders of our mortality. No one’s ever called me Skully, I just picked it as my alter ego when I registered on Regretsy.
Sudabaki, thanks for the tip, I’ll check out Varga on itunes, (surprised Apple hasn’t used Love Train for an ipod commercial), and yes, we should ask Helen for the keys to the Regretsy float for our road trip to Iowa.
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Jan 7, 201011:13 am
These are my dogs.
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Jan 7, 201011:49 am
Thank God about the wedding column, I’m getting married next Halloween and I am dying inside from the craptastic shit I’m having to deal with.
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Jan 7, 20101:59 pm
Fabulous! Pugs make everything better!
Oh, and as someone who avoided the “Wedding Industrial Complex” (WIC) like the plague, I can’t recommend http://www.indiebride.com enough. It’s where all the sane brides go for advice.
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Jan 7, 20105:21 pm
SKULLY- at the studio door we have a pig skull- in complete form found out here. We named him Eric after the school pothead. You can also find Lake Superior Agate’s out here so bring a napsack – we got shit to do.
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Jan 7, 20105:24 pm
Helen- I have to know what the Queen of Comedy has named her dogs!!!!!!
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Jan 7, 20105:55 pm
#85(RCB): But…but…but…Weird Al!
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Jan 7, 20105:59 pm
Dang, this thing is exploding! Claire, you’re awesome! And HK, you deserve every bit of good fortune…and I WILL be buying the book (and maybe even the magazine, though I am an Old Maid)! Keep it coming! *Offers hair of the dog (no pun intended)*
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Jan 7, 20106:02 pm
#92 and #96: “Puppehs!” And I also would like to know their names.
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Jan 7, 20107:01 pm
Interesting about the bridal stuff. I used to work on producing the photography for catalogs. One thing we all noticed is there are certain ridiculous products that end up in only the Christmas ones, that people have the sense not to buy the rest of the year. The Salad Shooter for example. 11 months out of the year people realize forcibly ejecting vegetables is not necessary in the process of making salad, but when it’s Xmas, the logic turns off.
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Jan 7, 20109:25 pm
What cute dogs.
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Jan 8, 20103:14 pm
Great pic! I want those pillows. Maybe a set that spells “kitteh.” Don’t think my cats would like the cute doggies, though.
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Jan 9, 201011:00 am
Those pillows are very fun! The Wedding Industry should be firebombed – you go, girl!
Pugs are adorable, and so are your two.
Skulls: My husband has a intact buffalo skkull sitting on our front porch – he dug it out of a riverbank in Oklahoma after a flood, when he was a kid.
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9:06 am
Do you know what is the perfect pitch?
When you throw the accordian and it breaks the banjo.
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