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Sunshine Not

Posted by Helen Killer

88 comments

Oh come on! How is this a scarf? I know we’re all pretending that anything can be anything in craftyland, but how far are we going to take this? Hey I have an idea, why don’t we just start selling hems? You can tape them to your ankles and call them “Pannots”.

Filed in Accessories 88 comments

88 Comments

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Jan 5, 2010
9:33 am

#1 DucksNew :

I have some shoelaces and string laying around. Who knew I actually had scarves?

Rate this comment: +95

Jan 5, 2010
9:34 am

#2 MrsGibson :

Maybe it is a regular sized scarf and that woman is a GIANTESS!

Rate this comment: +113

Jan 5, 2010
9:34 am

#3 Treed :

Hey, it can double as dental floss for Madonna!

Rate this comment: +16

Jan 5, 2010
9:35 am

#4 HermesGoddess :

Hee. Pannots. That is all.

Rate this comment: +21

Jan 5, 2010
9:39 am

#5 BettyMachete :

Knot a scarf. I do knot think I would be complimented on this shoelace.

Rate this comment: +37

Jan 5, 2010
9:39 am

#6 hundredaire :

I think this goes well with yesterday’s “murder is love” switchblade purse. If stabbing doesn’t show your love enough, you can toss a little strangling in there too.

Rate this comment: +47

Jan 5, 2010
9:39 am

#7 IscreamUscream :

Could be the perfect scarf for the Sahara.

Rate this comment: +42

Jan 5, 2010
9:40 am

#8 FuckADuckk :

Could it be a noose, for hanging oneself when you get overdosed with whimscle fuckery?

Rate this comment: +53

Jan 5, 2010
9:40 am

#9 ThisJustMakesMeSad :

It must be a scarf for fairies (or faeries or however the fuck it’s commonly spelled on Etsy – - personally I’m going with the Dictionary’s version like the sane people use).

Only a fairy would have a neck thin enough so that this thing could be wrapped repeatedly for sufficient coverage.

Rate this comment: +21

Jan 5, 2010
9:42 am

#10 FuckADuckk :

an extra long tampon string, for whimscle vajayjays!

Rate this comment: +59

Jan 5, 2010
9:48 am

#11 envy :

“pannots” — awesomely hilarious, Helen Killer!
I really should not check out regretsy when I really need to go to the bathroom…

I actually looked at this, and suffered some inner monologue about making a necklace out of knots in yarn… but I see I was mistaken, clearly this is a “scarf!” What was I thinking?

Maybe it’s supposed to be a Barbie scarf? You know, for the Barbie fanatic who has not yet collected ironic hipster Barbie. I believe the doll can be purchased at the…

Rate this comment: -1

Jan 5, 2010
9:48 am

#12 bootsychoo :

My mom tried to teach me to crochet when I was about 11. The furthest I got were a few long strands of single stitches b/c I couldn’t stand the feel of the yarn around my fingers. Had I known I could tie a few knots in them & sell them for $10 a piece as “scarves”, I’d have popped a couple of Paxil & “crotched” away.

Rate this comment: +47

Jan 5, 2010
9:48 am

#13 Bemused :

I believe the crafters’ maxim applies extremely well in the case of The Sunshine Knot Scarf and that is, “Yes, you could make it yourself, but would you?”

I think not.

Rate this comment: +45

Jan 5, 2010
9:50 am

#14 MinnePurl :

Far be it from me to dictate presentation of Regretsy submissions, but as this has been classified as “wall decor,” could we see it in a room please? I know it can be “anything else we can think of,” but my limited vision and finite creativity won’t allow me to imagine what this crap would look like on a wall (nor would it allow me to think of attempting to sell half-assed finger weaving to anyone)

Rate this comment: +34

Jan 5, 2010
9:50 am

#15 Patty has been abuducted by an alien :

When I was around ten years old, my sweet old gramma tried to teach me how to crochet. I could do straight strips quite well, but I couldn’t round off to make another row.

I never once considered calling it a scarf. I was so far ahead of my time!

Rate this comment: +31

Jan 5, 2010
9:54 am

#16 waningestrogen :

Also available in “spring bouquet”, “starburst”, “party”, “water faeries”, and “strawberry, chocolate and vanilla ice cream”.

Rate this comment: +10

Jan 5, 2010
9:55 am

#17 HelenaHandbasket :

“…or anything else you can think of”. Well, I do run out of garbage bag twisty-ties sometimes, which is the most reasonable use that I can come up with for this creation, but I’ll just tie the top corners together at this price.

Rate this comment: +34

Jan 5, 2010
9:59 am

#18 IscreamUscream :

Behold, the anti-cowl.

Rate this comment: +76

Jan 5, 2010
10:00 am

#19 Wilma Fingerdoo :

#5 Betty Machete-
“Knot a scarf. I do not think I would be complimented on this shoelace.”

Maybe not complimented, but definitely commented.
As in “What do you need to remind yourself? Why did you tie a string around your neck?”

Rate this comment: +17

Jan 5, 2010
10:03 am

#20 razberries :

She says it can be used as “wall decor”…
Huh? Where would you hang or place this in your home? *Maybe* if she knitted a bottom and some extra legs on it, then it could be like one of those macrame hanging plant holder things (from the 1970’s). But I agree with DucksNew- it just looks like a tangled shoelace from my junk drawer.

Rate this comment: +5

Jan 5, 2010
10:03 am

#21 blondeweezie :

Did you see the rest of her store? I am underwhelmed.

Rate this comment: +10

Jan 5, 2010
10:05 am

#22 Moons in Leo :

Looks like something I pulled out of the washer the last time I went to the laundromat.

Rate this comment: +9

Jan 5, 2010
10:12 am

#23 Bronc Drywall :

Whoa, this must have taken many, many months to complete!
Wait, did I say “months?” I meant “seconds.”

Rate this comment: +25

Jan 5, 2010
10:12 am

#24 Recovering Crack Baby :

Right now it is 19 degrees below zero where I live- Not Kidding.
Here are the compliments I know I would recieve- nice fucking piece of yarn- what yah gonna do with it? You lost your pair of sunglasses from your giant sunglass holder. Where did you get that cat leash- I did not know they made them.
NOBODY here would ever believe that was a fucking scarf- ever- even in the summer this would not be warm enough to wear.

Rate this comment: +15

Jan 5, 2010
10:14 am

#25 enamy :

in the close up, you can see it’s just two pieces of yarn braided together. so it’s knot even crochet.

http://ny-image1.etsy.com//il_fullxfull.88894689.jpg

Rate this comment: +2

Jan 5, 2010
10:22 am

#26 whimsiclefuckery :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -30

Jan 5, 2010
10:24 am

#27 waningestrogen :

The positive feedback is all from sellers. If you look there, you can sort of preview the treasures she’ll be offering up next, and imagine ‘anything else you can think of’.

http://www.etsy.com/feedback_public.php?user_id=7778168&feedback_type=all

Rate this comment: 0

Jan 5, 2010
10:34 am

#28 Recovering Crack Baby :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -12

Jan 5, 2010
10:37 am

#29 Recovering Crack Baby :

#28 CONT.- SO WE NEED TO BLAME HER FRIENDS AND FAMILY FOR THIS- NOTICE fellow etsy seller’s- I BLAME HER FRIENDS AND FAMILY NOT THE SELLER.
I never thought i would ever say i am so glad to have the mouthy family and honest friends i have- they would never let me take this shit to A-WHOLE-NOTHER LEVEL!!!!

Rate this comment: +1

Jan 5, 2010
10:46 am

#30 dustbunny :

This is just silly…knot only is it knot a scarf, knot crocheted, and knot stylish or warm, it has knothing to do with Sunshine and the knots are knot even fancy, sailor knots. It is cheap, though, for Regretsy stuff.

Rate this comment: +7

Jan 5, 2010
10:47 am

#31 kittyofassisi :

I work harder on items I sell for $6.00. This is just depressing.

Rate this comment: +11

Jan 5, 2010
10:53 am

#32 palJacky :

this is exactly the type of garbage my mom made.
Imagine a 12 year old boy with a dentist appointment being forced to carry the worst shit in as a present to the receptionist.

It all makes too much sense.

Rate this comment: +20

Jan 5, 2010
10:54 am

#33 Kimmer-G :

“…or anything else you can think of.”

cat toy

Rate this comment: +32

Jan 5, 2010
10:55 am

#34 nitebyrd :

What to make after the cat gets into the yarn.

Rate this comment: +8

Jan 5, 2010
10:59 am

#35 Skully :

Helen, LOL @ “pannots.” From now on, instead of “going commando,” I’ll be wearing my “underpannots.”

Rate this comment: +18

Jan 5, 2010
11:11 am

#36 jinxybee :

I think I saw some of her other items in those 25 cent plastic egg dispensers at the grocery store.

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=30448004

Rate this comment: +4

Jan 5, 2010
11:12 am

#37 brute :

Just because your husband says it looks nice does not mean it’s true.

Rate this comment: +14

Jan 5, 2010
11:17 am

#38 turtlegirl76 :

@#25 – it’s not braided. It’s a crochet chain. She chained 6 feet of cheap yarn and knotted it in spots and is calling it a scarf? Hoo boy.

Rate this comment: +18

Jan 5, 2010
11:32 am

#39 janefairfax :

“can be worn as… wall decor…”
So… it’s for wall flowers?

Rate this comment: +12

Jan 5, 2010
11:36 am

#40 janefairfax :

#25 – you’re right! It’s not crocheted, it’s braided. #38 turtlegirl76 – enlarge the picture of the closeup – it’s totally a flat braid. A chain has more depth. Oh… this makes the whole thing even BETTER!

Rate this comment: +6

Jan 5, 2010
11:39 am

#41 saucerville :

I am going to start selling hems.

Rate this comment: +14

Jan 5, 2010
11:44 am

#42 Tabbie :

Please, CONVO ME and let me know if I can wear this to (yes!) work as well, the water faery scarf would match my astrid spats.

Rate this comment: +9

Jan 5, 2010
11:46 am

#43 wicked :

When is a scarf not a scarf? When it’s a knot scarf. To me, it just looks like you’re giving somebody the tools to strangle you.

Rate this comment: +18

Jan 5, 2010
11:55 am

#44 Texchanchan :

It’s crocheted. At least the part that is most visible around her neck is. But that doesn’t add to the abysmal level of quality.

She’s selling SIX versions of this including “Spring,” “Starburst,” and (argh) “Water Faery.”

A search on the phrase “knot scarf” brings up a lot of ways to knot your scarf, and a good many regular-looking scarves that are capable of being tied in a knot. Nobody else is selling string with knots in it (no surprise).

Rate this comment: +14

Jan 5, 2010
11:56 am

#45 Skully :

To the tune of Stevie Wonder’s Sunshine of my Life:

You made a “Sunshine Knotted Scarf,”
Looks like a braided mess to me.
You want ten bucks? Don’t make me barf!
Who would buy this shit from Etsy?

Rate this comment: +22

Jan 5, 2010
12:00 pm

#46 IndyJules :

Wall decor? How about ceiling decor? How about a noose? I’d rather that than wear this in public

Rate this comment: +5

Jan 5, 2010
12:00 pm

#47 WTFisthatanyway :

I think one of the cable networks (are you listening A&E?) should launch a new TV series. It could be called Etsy Intervention and a bunch of us could go to a crafter’s basement, er studio, for a craft intervention. If they don’t listen to reason then we could pummel the shit out of them, er I mean show them some tough love. If they still refuse to accept the fact that their “crafts” are just worthless junk then they should be forced to sell on ArtFire.

Rate this comment: +31

Jan 5, 2010
12:03 pm

#48 MinnePurl :

Folks, let’s not get bogged down with deciding between one crap execution of a poorly conceived notion and another execution of that same notion. What we have here is a Tail of Two Shitty(technique)s

/awaits the (well-deserved) downward thumb judgment

Rate this comment: +19

Jan 5, 2010
12:07 pm

#49 GoldenAppleofDiscord :

Where I come from we have a name for this kind of “scarf”…it is called STRING.

Rate this comment: +24

Jan 5, 2010
12:09 pm

#50 Danorz :

i for one enjoy going out in public with a tapeworm around my neck.

Rate this comment: +34

Jan 5, 2010
12:11 pm

#51 polaroidart :

I got nothing witty to say..but I didn’t even notice
the yellow string for sale, I actually thought she
was selling the dress, I swear!

Rate this comment: +16

Jan 5, 2010
12:18 pm

#52 voxwoman :

I will now use the term “home decor” for when I leave crap laying around the house.

Honestly, she’d get more traffic impregnating that with catnip and selling it as a cat toy.

Now I know what to do with the variable 1/2″ strips of fabric I cut when I straighten out my large pieces to get ready for quilting – they’re “scarves!”

Rate this comment: +7

Jan 5, 2010
12:24 pm

#53 turtlegirl76 :

Braiding can be tricky. Heck, if that thing were braided, that might be something. I could see it taking a while to braid something that long, and justify the $10 price. But it’s not braided. (I’ll digress now.)

Rate this comment: 0

Jan 5, 2010
12:24 pm

#54 methuselah :

I know a garotte when I see one. Even a yellow one.

Rate this comment: +18

Jan 5, 2010
12:24 pm

#55 flare :

it reminds me of my first attempt at knitting when i made one long chain. I should have made two and sold them as cuff links. That would have been more accurate than this.

Rate this comment: +6

Jan 5, 2010
12:44 pm

#56 CreepyLittleGirl :

Helen, I thought of a great belated birthday gift for you. I’m going to make you some pannots. What size are your ankles?

Rate this comment: +6

Jan 5, 2010
12:47 pm

#57 Helen Killer :

@ #55, just make me something I can wear over this horrible hair cut.

Rate this comment: +19

Jan 5, 2010
12:52 pm

#58 Fo5ter :

She forgot to include a disclaimer about the risk of getting strangled by it.

Rate this comment: +9

Jan 5, 2010
1:09 pm

#59 lilprincess :

I think the proper term for the craft she’s tryin to sell is cro-shit.

Looks like she doesn’t know how to turn the chain and start a new row…

Rate this comment: +30

Jan 5, 2010
1:16 pm

#60 whimsey :

“Strangle the shit out of good taste with your very own Sunshine Knot scarf!”

Rate this comment: +2

Jan 5, 2010
1:51 pm

#61 wicked :

Oh, that’s right! This isn’t just a scarf. It can be “wall decor.” Hunh?! Is that like when you throw a spaghetti noodle against the wall to see if it’s al dente?

Rate this comment: +7

Jan 5, 2010
1:58 pm

#62 Fartinamitten :

“..hair pieces”. So could Uncle Mortie coil this up and cover his bald spot with this?

Rate this comment: +4

Jan 5, 2010
2:07 pm

#63 biggles5 :

She’s changed it from a scarf to a lariat. Too bad she can’t change it from ugly to pretty.

Rate this comment: +15

Jan 5, 2010
2:29 pm

#64 pleasedontpickme :

a fine example of Level 1 crochet. Seriously this is the first thing my friend and I ever crocheted some 10 years ago. We made it super long and wrapped it around our necks a million times and said wonder if we can sell it as a scarf. Who Knew????

Rate this comment: +4

Jan 5, 2010
2:30 pm

#65 waningestrogen :

I called it in #27.
One of her new listings:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=30241918

(includes several of the items she bought from other etsy shops to get her positive feedback)

Rate this comment: -1

Jan 5, 2010
2:49 pm

#66 Bemused :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -4

Jan 5, 2010
3:01 pm

#67 TomBee :

I want to learn how to wear wall decor.

Rate this comment: +5

Jan 5, 2010
3:06 pm

#68 ms.grumpy_pants :

Things to do Today

1. Choose yarn
2. Crochet 20 foot rope
3. Tie random knots
4. Take a picture
5. List it on Esty as a scarf for $10.00
6. Sit back and admire day’s work

Rate this comment: +6

Jan 5, 2010
3:14 pm

#69 Feel Free To Customise and Whimsiclise My Vagina :

Etsy needs to be juried

*ducks*

Rate this comment: +8

Jan 5, 2010
3:15 pm

#70 Efit :

She crumpled under peer pressure and changed the name to a “lariat.” No respect. I admire those who find themselves on Regretsy and go with it:

Hello Denny – love ya!
Butterfly pin chick – you rock!
Scarf > lariat – dork.

Rate this comment: +5

Jan 5, 2010
3:18 pm

#71 Efit :

@ #69 – YES!! I’m willing to put my money where my mouth is and be juried.

Rate this comment: +2

Jan 5, 2010
3:44 pm

#72 sbarnes2 :

The categorizing it as a scarf reminds me of the tactic used by many internet sellers, the throw-as-many-adjectives-verbs-and-nouns-as-you-can-into-the-title-to-bring-up-more-search-results-even-if-they-have-nothing-to-do-with-your-actual-product technique. Annoying!!!

Rate this comment: +3

Jan 5, 2010
3:56 pm

#73 janefairfax :

#64 – If you had only followed your instincts at the time… //shakes head// LOL!

Rate this comment: -2

Jan 5, 2010
4:30 pm

#74 dustbunny :

I had to look up “lariat”, which I’m sure is an official fashion term. However here is what I found, making this thing (neck accessory) even sillier to me…

1. a long, noosed rope used to catch horses, cattle, or other livestock; lasso.
2. a rope used to picket grazing animals.

Rate this comment: +7

Jan 5, 2010
4:47 pm

#75 Violet :

Dustbunny,
a lariat is a type of necklace that looks like a cord or rope (hence the name) just so a Google image search.

I don’t get wall decor

Rate this comment: +1

Jan 5, 2010
4:54 pm

#76 HermesGoddess :

God, Skully, I seriously love you. And Helen.

Rate this comment: +4

Jan 5, 2010
5:34 pm

#77 janncri :

This seller gives “piece of shit” a bad name.

Rate this comment: 0

Jan 5, 2010
5:50 pm

#78 Texchanchan :

#74 When I think of lariats I think of cowboys. I do know it’s a kind of necklace that’s a long chain or string, not connected into a circle – nevertheless, to me lariat => cowboys, prairie, chuck wagon, cattle, six guns, Indians, bandanas, yippee-ki-yi-o

Rate this comment: -1

Jan 5, 2010
5:54 pm

#79 Thistle :

lariat? lariat?

yipee ki-yo ki-yay.

Rate this comment: -1

Jan 5, 2010
9:21 pm

#80 Thousandaire :

Lariat? Looks more like a garrote to me.

Rate this comment: 0

Jan 5, 2010
9:24 pm

#81 Skully :

@#76 HG: Together we warm.

Rate this comment: +2

Jan 6, 2010
1:42 am

#82 UnaBee :

Coming soon-
glufs- 4 crotched wool rings to wear around your fingers, for when gloves are just a little too much! Available in 4 whimsicle pastel colors!
waistlets- Incredible pants including an elastic band embellished with a *vintage* button!! Totes useless and super fun! (actual pants not included)

Rate this comment: +4

Jan 6, 2010
6:16 am

#83 strawberrylumps :

I should have saved all those crocheted chains my meemaw taught me how to make when I was 12.

Rate this comment: +3

Jan 6, 2010
7:17 am

#84 pd417 :

This might have actually worked – if the presentation was done right…. If you’re going to peddle your crap, at least use a mannequin and some professional-quality photography under a soft white light.

Rate this comment: -1

Jan 6, 2010
6:39 pm

#85 MaryBeth :

I am the world’s worse crocheter. I mean I REALLY suck. I am pretty sure that I can do better than this.

Rate this comment: -2

Jan 7, 2010
8:02 am

#86 rodgertheshrubber :

Well if it doesn’t work as a scarf/lariat thingy you could always go back to it’s original use.

dental floss.

Rate this comment: 0

Jan 7, 2010
10:56 am

#87 stimply :

$10 dollars?

Forget that it’s just a single strand of crocheted yard. She wants $10 for it! TEN DOLLARS.

Rate this comment: +1

Jan 7, 2010
3:00 pm

#88 frootloop :

someones not very good @ crocheting, is she??

Rate this comment: -1