How in the hell could anyone with the presence of mind and the ability to download these pictures not realize that the “tween in her life!!” obviously used this skirt to wipe her ass at some point?
I can’t imagine what a simple denim garment could’ve done to deserve such treatment, but I think we all need to learn from this abomination: DO NOT piss off this seller.
Also, if you buy this “re-invented, toooo cute for words” skirt, you’ll have to tell her where you live.
I think I saw this skirt hanging up in the Hollywood Hard Rock Cafe, they scraped it off the floor of Motley Crue’s tour bus. Enough DNA there to clone the whole band.
Put it on your tween, only if she is up to date on tetnus booster. Oh, and you can expect a call from the school nurse as well. soooooooooooooooo cuuuuuuuuute.
“It looks like something you’d find on the floor of a gas station bathroom.”
That is the secret to the James Frey technique, aka freying. You embellish a minor detail with a lot of exaggerated ugliness, and wah lah! – cute tweenwear.
BTW howcum the teen/tween gets the ugly old frayed lace but the dog gets the never-used vintage pillowcase? Something bad going on there…
I can’t make clothes, but who knew that all I needed to do was use an old pair of jeans to wipe the bird shit off of my car in order to make something “toooooo cute for words”
This has the Oh-no-I-just-had-an-accident-all-over-my-skirt-and-I-need-to-cover-it-up look that my tween is bound to love! Not. It’s kinda like if you peed yourself and then poured a coke on your lap to cover up the real accident.
Just toooo cute for words? Yeah, I don’t think we need words at all with this picture. I prefer to keep my thoughts about bodily emissions to myself and I definitely don’t want that residue on my skirt.
I can visualize this on the end of a mop handle used to clean a gas station bathroom.
i think it looks like blood. if she really wanted to sell it she could say it was “TWILIGHT VAMPIRE BLOOD TEAM EDWARD” and that sucker would be gone in moments.
#29 WilmaFingerdoo- I’m still laughing at the skid marks/toilet paper comment! And I think SarcasmQueen is correct! Side view of this skirt looks like she got humped by a bum.
Okay, the ‘blood’ is just horrible smears of gold paint.
Also, it’s clear from photo 5 that there’s a big pen stain on the front.
And whoever said that the side view looked like she was humped by a bum, you were absolutely correct.
I know a few teens/tweens that upon receiving this horror as a gift, would beat you over the head, steal your wallet and go buy themselves a real skirt.
I didn’t know you could sell clothes once they were collected from a crime scene?!? It looks like something the crew at CSI took off some dead hooker in the desert….
I think that is what they call birth control for the over protective parent when their freshman daughter goes on a date with a senior in his mustang convertible.
iscreamuscream and skully…LMFAO at your beginning comments!
denim and “old” lace? nice. all i could see like some of the others was a bunch of burnt and rusty fabric remnants. tetanus shot comments? agree!
as I said before, members of my family use one roll of toilet paper per shit.
Perhaps if they ‘went green’ on that they could sell their crappy clothes on etsy.
What the fuck, Bonghivestiti?
Your denim skirt’s lookin’ brown and shitty.
Old lace? It ain’t fuckin’ pretty,
Looks like it was clawed and crapped on by your kitty.
Frayed flowers lookin’ like they’re half dead,
No tween or teen would wear this crap, you crackhead!
Is this by the same artist that re-invented the “I got my period at school – omg!” white trousers?
For crying out loud, if you are going to make something this hilarious, please get the shit stains in the right location. This just makes me think someone’s colostomy bag burst…
If the gold glitter paint had shown up as golden or glittery, this wouldn’t have looked nearly as awful. I’m trying hard to see the point of the lace, but it does look pretty thrown together.
Better photography would have helped it make it not look like a stall-cleaning rag.
It looks like a great outfit for a 1$ Crackhead prostitute in Afganistan.. (Judging by how the fabric looks like, she is “doin’ it” on the ground in some caves there)..
January 5, 2010 at 4:31 pm
yuck, just plain yuck.
January 5, 2010 at 4:36 pm
It looks like they sat in vomit.It would almost be worth buying it to see the look on the teen’s face when they opened this “cute” skirt.
January 5, 2010 at 4:37 pm
Alternate title: Crappy & Lacey
January 5, 2010 at 4:37 pm
all its missing is the used condom…blech.
January 5, 2010 at 4:39 pm
Nice way to ruin your teen/tween’s life.
January 5, 2010 at 4:39 pm
And just because gawkers would be speechless doesn’t mean it’s “tooo cute for words”. HK is right…a stall I’d avoid.
January 5, 2010 at 4:39 pm
How in the hell could anyone with the presence of mind and the ability to download these pictures not realize that the “tween in her life!!” obviously used this skirt to wipe her ass at some point?
January 5, 2010 at 4:40 pm
I can’t imagine what a simple denim garment could’ve done to deserve such treatment, but I think we all need to learn from this abomination: DO NOT piss off this seller.
Also, if you buy this “re-invented, toooo cute for words” skirt, you’ll have to tell her where you live.
January 5, 2010 at 4:41 pm
“It looks like something you’d find on the floor of a gas station bathroom.”
It does look like it has used tampons on it. Maybe as a special request the seller can add semen stains…
January 5, 2010 at 4:41 pm
If you are going to “reinvent” a skirt the least you could do is paint over the poo stains first….
January 5, 2010 at 4:42 pm
What tween wouldn’t want to wear an embellished skirt that looks like someone wiped their ass on it?
January 5, 2010 at 4:44 pm
oh, that looks like the skirt i woke up in on 1.1. 1993
January 5, 2010 at 4:46 pm
I think I saw this skirt hanging up in the Hollywood Hard Rock Cafe, they scraped it off the floor of Motley Crue’s tour bus. Enough DNA there to clone the whole band.
January 5, 2010 at 4:46 pm
embroiderrhea.
January 5, 2010 at 4:47 pm
After seeing this, I’d rather have Arsenic & Old Lace.
January 5, 2010 at 4:49 pm
Eew. Brown is such a tricky color. And here it just looks sticky.
January 5, 2010 at 4:50 pm
“For when you want your tween to have that ‘truck stop hooker’ look that’s oh so trendy.”
January 5, 2010 at 4:54 pm
I read the description out loud and both my daughters declared they were damn glad to be out of the target age range.
January 5, 2010 at 4:56 pm
The seller’s shop name is “bonghivestiti”, which I initially read as “bong hit transvestite.” Sounds about right.
January 5, 2010 at 5:03 pm
my 2 year old just pointed to the screen and said “mommy! poo-poo!”
i think that about sums it up.
January 5, 2010 at 5:04 pm
Put it on your tween, only if she is up to date on tetnus booster. Oh, and you can expect a call from the school nurse as well. soooooooooooooooo cuuuuuuuuute.
January 5, 2010 at 5:05 pm
“It looks like something you’d find on the floor of a gas station bathroom.”
That is the secret to the James Frey technique, aka freying. You embellish a minor detail with a lot of exaggerated ugliness, and wah lah! – cute tweenwear.
BTW howcum the teen/tween gets the ugly old frayed lace but the dog gets the never-used vintage pillowcase? Something bad going on there…
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=36929668
January 5, 2010 at 5:06 pm
Does it come with a free tetanus shot or is that extra.
January 5, 2010 at 5:07 pm
I can’t make clothes, but who knew that all I needed to do was use an old pair of jeans to wipe the bird shit off of my car in order to make something “toooooo cute for words”
January 5, 2010 at 5:09 pm
“all its missing is the used condom…blech.”
Looks like at least one was repurposed as a “wonderful little flower.”
January 5, 2010 at 5:13 pm
a little oxy-clean will get that right out!
January 5, 2010 at 5:15 pm
Kinda looks like someone sat on a plate of nachos… Perfect for the classy lady who works Donkey Shows in Tijuana.
January 5, 2010 at 5:21 pm
OH MY GOD NO, TINKERBELLE! SHE SAT ON TINKERBELLE!
January 5, 2010 at 5:29 pm
Holy skid marks!
The finishing touch would be a long strand of toilet paper trailing off this re-invention.
January 5, 2010 at 5:32 pm
This has the Oh-no-I-just-had-an-accident-all-over-my-skirt-and-I-need-to-cover-it-up look that my tween is bound to love! Not. It’s kinda like if you peed yourself and then poured a coke on your lap to cover up the real accident.
January 5, 2010 at 5:36 pm
Just toooo cute for words? Yeah, I don’t think we need words at all with this picture. I prefer to keep my thoughts about bodily emissions to myself and I definitely don’t want that residue on my skirt.
I can visualize this on the end of a mop handle used to clean a gas station bathroom.
January 5, 2010 at 5:41 pm
i think it looks like blood. if she really wanted to sell it she could say it was “TWILIGHT VAMPIRE BLOOD TEAM EDWARD” and that sucker would be gone in moments.
January 5, 2010 at 5:42 pm
#29 – I thought that’s what the “white” stuff is that’s kind of stuck on. I shudder to think with what.
January 5, 2010 at 5:53 pm
#29 WilmaFingerdoo- I’m still laughing at the skid marks/toilet paper comment! And I think SarcasmQueen is correct! Side view of this skirt looks like she got humped by a bum.
January 5, 2010 at 5:55 pm
I think someone fell down in the garden and had trouble getting back up again.
January 5, 2010 at 5:57 pm
There is a not-so-fine line between embellishing and ruining.
January 5, 2010 at 6:01 pm
It’s a wrap! No-it’s a blanket!
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=35188212
Methinks someone doesn’t fully understand the concept of “upcycling”.
January 5, 2010 at 6:03 pm
“Gas station bathroom” – yep, in a gas station in the heart of Mississippi that hasn’t been remodeled since 1951.
Ugly as a mud fence dobbed with rabbits.
January 5, 2010 at 6:03 pm
This shirt was inspired by that pesky pattern your deodorant leaves…
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=mt&listing_id=34569793
January 5, 2010 at 6:04 pm
I can see the weird girl at school wearing this and getting made fun of for it. And by weird I don’t mean artsy.
January 5, 2010 at 6:31 pm
Okay, the ‘blood’ is just horrible smears of gold paint.
Also, it’s clear from photo 5 that there’s a big pen stain on the front.
And whoever said that the side view looked like she was humped by a bum, you were absolutely correct.
January 5, 2010 at 6:40 pm
I know a few teens/tweens that upon receiving this horror as a gift, would beat you over the head, steal your wallet and go buy themselves a real skirt.
January 5, 2010 at 6:49 pm
Let me just say that you’ve been dead on this week, with both selections and commentary.
January 5, 2010 at 7:15 pm
1985 called, they said you can keep the skirt.
January 5, 2010 at 7:16 pm
Take away the stains and put the lace on a skirt NOT from 1990 and maybe it would be cute.
On second, thought. No. Never mind. Denim and lace are two things that shouldn’t be put together.
January 5, 2010 at 7:18 pm
Who ever was looking for the asswipe- she includes it with her lounge set http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=34574275
January 5, 2010 at 7:19 pm
Remember Oscar the Grouch’s girlfriend, Grungetta??/ She and this skirt were MADE for each other!
January 5, 2010 at 7:23 pm
You can copy this style very easily… put on a skirt and roll around in a dumpster!
January 5, 2010 at 7:26 pm
@46 RCB–
Yeah, I saw that. As a guy, I don’t think it’s flattering for a woman to have something hanging from their groin area.
I see she’s got her own “label”. Apparently, “Bonghi Vestiti” is Italian for “Bongo Clothing”
January 5, 2010 at 7:30 pm
When she penned that she “free handed the embroidery”, I believe she meant that she was “free-basing during the embroidery”.
January 5, 2010 at 7:34 pm
@BettyMachete – Holy crap, is that the giant roller skate in front of Hugo’s in Bealton, VA??
January 5, 2010 at 7:42 pm
When I saw this, my first thought was “decapitated rats.”
January 5, 2010 at 7:51 pm
Wow! That had to hurt. I guess this is where the clothes from the morgue end up
January 5, 2010 at 8:17 pm
#46, “gross grain ribbon”? Exactly.
January 5, 2010 at 8:53 pm
I didn’t know you could sell clothes once they were collected from a crime scene?!? It looks like something the crew at CSI took off some dead hooker in the desert….
January 5, 2010 at 9:18 pm
@#14 I Scream: LOL and cool photos.
Exposure to this item has left the Pete Townsend song Slit Skirts, (reimagined as “Shit Skirt”), firmly lodged in my brain. Thanks, Helen.
January 5, 2010 at 9:59 pm
I think that is what they call birth control for the over protective parent when their freshman daughter goes on a date with a senior in his mustang convertible.
January 5, 2010 at 10:03 pm
“For when you want your tween to have that ‘truck stop hooker’ look that’s oh so trendy.”
that made me pee a little
January 5, 2010 at 10:42 pm
my 8 month old nephew does something like this on his clothes, but my sister and her hubby just call it “explosive diarreha.”
January 5, 2010 at 10:43 pm
Also, this looks like something that a homeless person left in the public bathroom and no one wants to touch it to throw it away.
January 5, 2010 at 11:04 pm
Who knew that vomit was “cute”! You learn something new every day.
January 5, 2010 at 11:05 pm
I think one needs an updated tetanus shot to wear this tho…
January 6, 2010 at 2:25 am
unrelated but I think I’m in love with this seller
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=30083124
January 6, 2010 at 2:34 am
thank goodness this wasn’t modeled on a person or they’d have the mange.
It was sure nice of them to remove the Levi’s label. I’m sure Levi’s thanks them.
More over, did anyone see this? http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=36929668
ah, pet humiliation. At least it’s not stained.
January 6, 2010 at 4:34 am
It looks like they wiped their ass with a scrap of lace and then sat in it….
January 6, 2010 at 5:48 am
Someone needs to throw that out – it’s got mold growing on it.
January 6, 2010 at 6:04 am
#57 bobbinoodle – your freshman daughter wouldn’t make it into the car. That senior wouldn’t risk staining his Mustang’s upholstery
I think this item is a great PSA to get teenagers to do their own laundry.
January 6, 2010 at 6:11 am
The other day my daughter went out and played in the snow and accidentally rolled in dog shit. This sorta reminds me of that.
January 6, 2010 at 6:14 am
Can’t even spell “fraying”?
January 6, 2010 at 7:04 am
iscreamuscream and skully…LMFAO at your beginning comments!
denim and “old” lace? nice. all i could see like some of the others was a bunch of burnt and rusty fabric remnants. tetanus shot comments? agree!
January 6, 2010 at 7:41 am
This is SO not right.
January 6, 2010 at 8:05 am
They were made for each other.
http://www.regretsy.com/2009/12/29/shout-it-out/
January 6, 2010 at 8:16 am
@#47 either her or one of the Garbage Pail Kids
January 6, 2010 at 9:02 am
When I saw the photo, I thought someone had shot her through the leg with a gun and this skirt was being sold as some sort of macabre souvenir.
January 6, 2010 at 10:07 am
as I said before, members of my family use one roll of toilet paper per shit.
Perhaps if they ‘went green’ on that they could sell their crappy clothes on etsy.
January 6, 2010 at 10:25 am
Damn! 75 washings and it STILL won’t come out!
January 6, 2010 at 11:18 am
@#72 You’re exactly right, whitebelt. The car-dirt tights http://www.regretsy.com/2009/12/29/shout-it-out/ and the messed up skirt belong together. And the finishing touch: a “knot scarf.”
January 6, 2010 at 11:57 am
i have to say it… poop. hahaha
January 6, 2010 at 12:57 pm
To the tune of Summer in the City:
What the fuck, Bonghivestiti?
Your denim skirt’s lookin’ brown and shitty.
Old lace? It ain’t fuckin’ pretty,
Looks like it was clawed and crapped on by your kitty.
Frayed flowers lookin’ like they’re half dead,
No tween or teen would wear this crap, you crackhead!
January 6, 2010 at 2:12 pm
Denim skirt with lace, OK, not my style but meh, wevs. But what was the artistic rationale behind smearing it with poo?
January 6, 2010 at 2:15 pm
BTW, bobbinoodle, I don’t think it would work as birth control: surely the hapless wearer would we wanting to remove it ASAP!
January 6, 2010 at 2:48 pm
Is this by the same artist that re-invented the “I got my period at school – omg!” white trousers?
For crying out loud, if you are going to make something this hilarious, please get the shit stains in the right location. This just makes me think someone’s colostomy bag burst…
January 6, 2010 at 4:12 pm
My cat left something like that for me when I came back from a trip, only she made it with a vengeance crap on a pair of my jeans. I threw it out.
January 6, 2010 at 5:51 pm
A really great idea that just ended up in the toilet.
January 6, 2010 at 7:10 pm
Razz,
I would not approach this one without surgical gloves.
Skully, ROFL…I’m so glad I finished my coffee before I read that; it would’ve been bad.
January 6, 2010 at 10:16 pm
Omfukingod wow. This is the first regretsy that officially shocked me. Like, my mouth dropped kind of shocked.
LOL from far away it looks like it’s rusting. “How can you help my daughter battle corrosion?”
January 6, 2010 at 11:05 pm
Did she shit on it prior to stitching on the questionable vinatage lace?
January 7, 2010 at 12:17 am
did someone shit on this thing?
January 7, 2010 at 9:18 am
Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, extremely unfortunate photo.
If the gold glitter paint had shown up as golden or glittery, this wouldn’t have looked nearly as awful. I’m trying hard to see the point of the lace, but it does look pretty thrown together.
Better photography would have helped it make it not look like a stall-cleaning rag.
January 7, 2010 at 2:45 pm
I think she meant to say old demin and lace.
January 7, 2010 at 8:21 pm
“use a kleenex and not your clothes”. Like your mama said.
January 14, 2010 at 1:46 pm
Just wondering whose murder she’s trying to cover by selling that skirt.
“Detective – I told you, I don’t HAVE the clothes I was wearing that night anymore… but they were toooo cute for words!”
December 30, 2010 at 3:15 pm
Can you explain
The shitstain
Will you claim
Pulled from toilet drain
May 14, 2011 at 6:07 am
It looks like a great outfit for a 1$ Crackhead prostitute in Afganistan.. (Judging by how the fabric looks like, she is “doin’ it” on the ground in some caves there)..