This Christmas, tell her you’d marry her all over again with a set of corroded dentures that smell like a bum’s ass.

Well then I guess he should have seen this coming.

And speaking of homemade shit, look what we did last night!

Yes, we heard you. You were sick to death of the T-shirts, but you wanted to support our featured charity. So we’ve added several pieces of regretsybilia to the Zazzle store, so you can get your fuckery on!

We are at the halfway point for funding Ady’s donkey rescue via our Alchemy Fund, so the next $100 of revenue from these items will go directly to her.

And by the way, I got my donkey merchandise from Ady this morning, and I honestly cannot believe how wonderful it is. Everything from the packaging to the little extras and the thank you card, all handmade and so charming. Best $20 I’ve spent in a long time, not counting that hit of E I got off that guy in the parking lot of Joanne’s Fabrics.