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I hate it when I fall asleep with gum in my mouth.
Monthly Archives: December 2009
And then, in a twinkling, I heard from on high
The flapping and slapping of of fish from the sky.
As I drew in my head, and was turning about,
Down the chimney St Nicholas came with a trout.
He was dressed all in scales, from his head to his foot,
And his turtle was covered with ashes and soot.
A bundle of scrod he had flung on his back,
And he looked like Seu George, only not quite as black.
His eyes were drawn on with a ball point in blue,
And his beard was a cotton ball covered in glue.
He stood on a glittering Christmas tree shell
And the whole fucking thing was confusing as hell.
But then I woke up in a shivering sweat
With my hair and my clothes and my sheets soaking wet
And I thought to myself as I cradled my head,
I should never eat clams before going to bed.
Last night, I got a first draft of the regretsy book from the publisher, and I was pretty happy with it.
There was only one chapter that I thought was a little light. And believe it or not, that chapter was ‘Vulvacraft”.
Hard to believe isn’t it? This whole site has been up to its ass in bajingo, but the book is light on the vagoo. Go figure.
I think it’s partly because vaginas are srs business. A lot of vulvacrafters are just annoyingly self important, and we’re not supposed to find amusement in someone wearing a giant labia on their head.
Recently, an Etsy seller held a Regretsy themed charity auction on eBay, with the proceeds benefiting a food bank. She asked some sellers who have been featured here to donate an item or two, and she got a great assortment of products. It was a nice idea, and a lot of work.
One of the people she contacted was a vulvacrafter who makes pussy plush toys, among other fuckery. She asked for a key chain for the auction, and was not only turned down, she was told that the auction was “trivializing rape victims”.
I still have no idea what that means. But I would suggest that if you don’t want your snatch objectified and trivialized, don’t make it into a fucking plush toy.
In any case, I have gotten several submissions from vulvacrafters with a sense of humor, and their contributions to the book are really wonderful. It’s so good, that I want more.
If you make vulvacrafts on Etsy and don’t have your head up your own ass, I’d like to you’d like to be part of the regretsy book. if you’re interested, let me know as soon as possible, but definitely before the 28th.
VIVA LA VULVA!
