This Christmas, tell her you’d marry her all over again with a set of corroded dentures that smell like a bum’s ass.

Well then I guess he should have seen this coming.

“About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward had a wooden doll head. Second, there was a part of him – and I think it might have just been his arms – that was made from pipe cleaners. And third, he was unconditionally and irrevocably a flower pot.”

UPDATE:

The Regretsy reader who bought these ridiculous fucking things has posted a heartwarming photo essay of a brother and sister, opening flower pots with pipe cleaners glued to them. It’s the feel good story of the morning.