“presence of knee, despite missing feet and body” — Helen Killer your pie chart is awesome!
It took me a moment to notice the missing feet and other person parts (like, let’s say torso!)… because the first thing that ran through my mind was: this is on etsy – is it supposed to be vintage? I guess these are “altered”? You know, if altered means worn and dilapidated…
now I’m going to have a nightmare about disembodied legs wearing crappy old jeans chasing me around… no vagina…
#15 razberries: Its a “monocle eyepatch”… as opposed to a blindfold.
I had something all sarcastic to say about the jeans and the knee in regards to the fact I had a knee replacement this year, but my knees are not hairy man knees and I can’t use it. Dammit.
having just looked through the rest of the shop, I am absolutely terrified of the dystopic hell these things are eminating from. Did they defile the Sacred Rainy-Day Craft Bin of Holy Jineema?
This stuff scares me. Read the Profile of this seller, then checkout Feedback From Buyers. Items arriving packed in toilet paper are a plus! (Let us not wander off into the condition of the toilet paper.)
LOL@ #2 krystyna81. This was in definite need of a level 2 background removal. This is just so…level 1.
These pants are the worst! This is what my mom’s pants look like when she paints murals and uses the same pants for a week straight without washing them. Ick.
Recovering Crack Baby
December 31, 2009 at 10:52 am
I am convinced that someone, somewhere has a new roof on their mobile home and did not pay the roofing company.
Thinking clearly. We could get more for the clothes worn on the job then taking these people to court.
So like everyone else in this situation they go to ETSY.
Recovering Crack Baby
December 31, 2009 at 10:58 am
I just checked with my insurance company and they had to regrettfully inform me that they do not cover knee replacements. Looks like I can’t afford these jeans.
Heh. I just flagged these and in the comment section I said that my husband has a whole garbage bag full of jeans just like this and I can’t wait to list them! He’s destroyed them through several different uses too. Battery acid holes, holes torn by machinery, grease and diesel fuel stains, and a few even have blood stains.
Oh my goodness, I’ll have to see if my hub’s partner saved the jeans he was electrocuted in. Not only will I have a unique and ooak product, but I will have an equally cool story to go with it, sure to be an ice breaker at parties and suchlike. I might have to charge $15 for them though, since a life was almost lost in the altering of said jeans.
Damn! I wonder if my ex-brother in law saved the shoes with the holes in the bottom that were blown off his feet when he was struck by lightening? Those would bring in a pretty penny, I would think.
Of course, poor old uncle wormy was never quite the same after that.
Given the recent amount of pre-stained clothing showing up, I’m wondering if there is possibly some stain fetish thing of which I am unaware — and if there is, please, no one enlighten me; I’m in a happier place this way.
Whoa, what am I doing selling handmade jewelry that I slave over when, with my resources, I could open and fill a shop with this kind of whimisicle fuckery? I could undercut everyone else because it wouldn’t cost me anything for supplies or labor! I might even be able to quit my day job and everything! I could easily make $140,000 a year!
#39 creepydolls, they didn’t photoshop out the background so you didn’t think these were just taken out of some catalog and run the risk of being reported as a reseller.
Etsy Jean Genie said “You can’t see me,
Except for my pink knee and old dungarees,
Torn from abuses and different uses,
Fit 38/40, and chain is included.”
Wants $13, he must be deluded,
That’s too much greenie!
The Jean Genie’s pants are distressed!
The Jean Genie’s place is a mess!
Jean Genie, one question remains:
How did you get all those stains?
No, no, no, you sell your incredibly bizarre used goods that no one their right mind could possibly want on Craigslist, not Etsy. That way, you get to have the weirdo that actually does want your old torn-up pants come visit you at your house when he picks them up.
“JUNK PUNK GOGGLES FEATURED ON MTV NEWS!
Oh yeah! The Special “Poison” Goggles That were created almost a year ago, were featured on an MTV news segment where they did a report on Steampunk culture!”
What’s with the little chain that goes from nothing TO nothing. As far as I can tell, the only thing it does is turn the pants into fetish wear for slobs.
#59 WilmaFingerdo ~ PACO could be creepy next door neighbor to WACO. Do you think a massive beer gut ever spilled over top of that waistband? Can you imagine the crawl spaces in that house?
#54 Betty Machete-
I would ony venture into crawl spaces in that house with special goggles, possibly a monocle eyepatch.
May encounter on of these fearful hamsters… http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=8241858
It looks like what one of my relatives would wear if of the didn’t use a roll a whole roll of toilet paper.
per shit.
Seriously, it is only a matter of time before oprah gets the atomic bomb. She is an ompah-lompah and she must be stopped.
Now I know what to do with Hubby’s old ripped-up and stained jeans! The most recent ripped pair he came home from work in have a lovely gaping hole right in the crotch area! Do you think I could get more $$ for built in genital area ventilation?
We really shouldn’t be giving a hard time to the hoarder that is on medication and trying so hard to get rid of the piles of garbage in the house by selling it on etsy.
Maybe it’s hollow man…but his knee is still mysteriously visible…
So somebody drank too many beers, made a chocolate cake (i hope), and painted a few rooms in these jeans…and decided that these pants are too stained and grungy to wear anymore, so time to list them on etsy as “diy”.
to get this authentic look, i first killed a hooker at the side of the road. then i crawled through the woods and slaughtered a badger. wait….do badgers live in the woods?
December 31, 2009 at 9:32 am
picturing those walking down the street by themselves…
December 31, 2009 at 9:33 am
my real question is…if you took the time to erase the body and feet, why didn’t you erase the other c-r-a-p in the picture?
December 31, 2009 at 9:34 am
this is too confusing.
December 31, 2009 at 9:34 am
so…am i correct in assuming the knee comes with the pants?
December 31, 2009 at 9:34 am
That disembodied knee is going to give me nightmares. And those jeans are “weathered” like my stained clothes are couture.
December 31, 2009 at 9:36 am
The pliers on the floor disturb me.
December 31, 2009 at 9:39 am
Apparently I’ve been sitting on a fortune in raggedy-ass clothes. Recession begone – I’m rich!
December 31, 2009 at 9:40 am
Another mystery: Why would I pay $13 plus shipping just to put on latex gloves (not included) and promptly throw these jeans away?
The seller’s handle, JunkPunk, clearly isn’t just a clever name.
December 31, 2009 at 9:42 am
Her etsy tags for this item:
destroyed, denim, junk, torn, stain
I think that says it all
December 31, 2009 at 9:47 am
That’s some Level 4 photoshop work right there if I’ve ever seen any….
December 31, 2009 at 9:47 am
Helen, LOL @ the Pie Chart!
Looks like Casper soiled himself.
December 31, 2009 at 9:49 am
these are not so much “handmade” as they are partially “destroyed”….a job i wish the seller would go ahead and finish.
this almost makes me *wistful* for the acid wash jeans of decades past…
and who is paco? is that paco’s knee? is paco a secret agent and therefore cannot be identified, other than by hairy knee?
December 31, 2009 at 9:50 am
Oh my! The whole shop is worth browsing. Might explain some of the other crap in the photo like the pliers/wrench on the carpet.
December 31, 2009 at 9:50 am
Listed on Sep 09, 2009
Listing # 18037275
649 views
0 hearts
1 knee
0 feet
0 torsos
0 arms
December 31, 2009 at 9:51 am
I think that knee needs a smiley face on it. Have a snarky new year, everyone!
December 31, 2009 at 9:52 am
Crazy:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=8264145
December 31, 2009 at 9:52 am
The alternate name for these: “My husband destroyed these jeans and I’m too cheap to throw them away.”
December 31, 2009 at 9:53 am
omfg…if you think the jeans were scary check out this thing!
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=16039664
May 14, 2011 at 6:13 am
Ha.ha..ha..!!! Razberries.. I think this man with the thing on his eye is the same man who is selling this jeans..
December 31, 2009 at 9:54 am
#7 LOL, seriously, who searches “stain” on any website when looking to purchase pants (or anything really)
December 31, 2009 at 9:54 am
“presence of knee, despite missing feet and body” — Helen Killer your pie chart is awesome!
It took me a moment to notice the missing feet and other person parts (like, let’s say torso!)… because the first thing that ran through my mind was: this is on etsy – is it supposed to be vintage? I guess these are “altered”? You know, if altered means worn and dilapidated…
now I’m going to have a nightmare about disembodied legs wearing crappy old jeans chasing me around… no vagina…
December 31, 2009 at 9:55 am
Holy. Shit.
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=24590185
December 31, 2009 at 10:01 am
I’m guessing Claude Rains spilt Monocane in the lab and that’s what destroyed the jeans (but thank heavens they protected his knee).
But really, is there any excuse for the chain?
December 31, 2009 at 10:02 am
#15 razberries: Its a “monocle eyepatch”… as opposed to a blindfold.
I had something all sarcastic to say about the jeans and the knee in regards to the fact I had a knee replacement this year, but my knees are not hairy man knees and I can’t use it. Dammit.
December 31, 2009 at 10:05 am
http://i626.photobucket.com/albums/tt343/frankenkitty13/kneecat.jpg
December 31, 2009 at 10:06 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
December 31, 2009 at 10:06 am
the knee is a men’s size 38, but will fit a 40 (and you might hobble just a little)
December 31, 2009 at 10:07 am
Sorta like “What was I Scared of?”
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2783/4231812780_4d12a79339_o.jpg
And I still am.
December 31, 2009 at 10:08 am
having just looked through the rest of the shop, I am absolutely terrified of the dystopic hell these things are eminating from. Did they defile the Sacred Rainy-Day Craft Bin of Holy Jineema?
December 31, 2009 at 10:09 am
“ex-slacks” deserves an honorable mention here.
December 31, 2009 at 10:12 am
frankenkitty…the kitty in the knee is a VAST improvement
December 31, 2009 at 10:19 am
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=8365984
…soooo glad the mask is fit for comfort.
December 31, 2009 at 10:20 am
This stuff scares me. Read the Profile of this seller, then checkout Feedback From Buyers. Items arriving packed in toilet paper are a plus! (Let us not wander off into the condition of the toilet paper.)
December 31, 2009 at 10:23 am
LOL@ #2 krystyna81. This was in definite need of a level 2 background removal. This is just so…level 1.
These pants are the worst! This is what my mom’s pants look like when she paints murals and uses the same pants for a week straight without washing them. Ick.
December 31, 2009 at 10:25 am
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=32218826
My favorite.
Frankenkitty- LOVE the kitty in the knee. Made my day.
December 31, 2009 at 10:29 am
That monocle, huh.
Think this guy has way too much “alone time” watching slasher movies? And whatever else he does in his basement…
December 31, 2009 at 10:33 am
from now on im gonna randomly select items outta my boyfriends pile of laundry and sell them as vintage too
December 31, 2009 at 10:38 am
check out this mask he made
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=8322698
i think all mexican wrestling masks should have confetti sequins
December 31, 2009 at 10:47 am
When I’m really in the mood for cultural insanity + complete clique crap, the Juggalos never let me down.
December 31, 2009 at 10:48 am
Why wasn’t the junk in the background erased? what a weird and selective photoshop job.
December 31, 2009 at 10:52 am
I am convinced that someone, somewhere has a new roof on their mobile home and did not pay the roofing company.
Thinking clearly. We could get more for the clothes worn on the job then taking these people to court.
So like everyone else in this situation they go to ETSY.
December 31, 2009 at 10:57 am
They’re definitely NOT “handmade”, unless the Artiste has Hulk Hands.
December 31, 2009 at 10:58 am
I just checked with my insurance company and they had to regrettfully inform me that they do not cover knee replacements. Looks like I can’t afford these jeans.
December 31, 2009 at 11:02 am
Heh. I just flagged these and in the comment section I said that my husband has a whole garbage bag full of jeans just like this and I can’t wait to list them! He’s destroyed them through several different uses too. Battery acid holes, holes torn by machinery, grease and diesel fuel stains, and a few even have blood stains.
December 31, 2009 at 11:07 am
Oh my goodness, I’ll have to see if my hub’s partner saved the jeans he was electrocuted in. Not only will I have a unique and ooak product, but I will have an equally cool story to go with it, sure to be an ice breaker at parties and suchlike. I might have to charge $15 for them though, since a life was almost lost in the altering of said jeans.
December 31, 2009 at 11:08 am
Damn! I wonder if my ex-brother in law saved the shoes with the holes in the bottom that were blown off his feet when he was struck by lightening? Those would bring in a pretty penny, I would think.
Of course, poor old uncle wormy was never quite the same after that.
December 31, 2009 at 11:11 am
Given the recent amount of pre-stained clothing showing up, I’m wondering if there is possibly some stain fetish thing of which I am unaware — and if there is, please, no one enlighten me; I’m in a happier place this way.
December 31, 2009 at 11:14 am
Whoa, what am I doing selling handmade jewelry that I slave over when, with my resources, I could open and fill a shop with this kind of whimisicle fuckery? I could undercut everyone else because it wouldn’t cost me anything for supplies or labor! I might even be able to quit my day job and everything! I could easily make $140,000 a year!
December 31, 2009 at 11:22 am
#39 creepydolls, they didn’t photoshop out the background so you didn’t think these were just taken out of some catalog and run the risk of being reported as a reseller.
December 31, 2009 at 11:27 am
The more I browse his other listings, the more I hate this guy.
December 31, 2009 at 11:44 am
Wow, this is creepy…why clone the body out?
And what are those smears? Gross.
December 31, 2009 at 11:47 am
#37 frootloop- all i see in that mask is the “revolting blob” dude from the movie “Billy Madison”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67uJMVo9TUM&feature=related
December 31, 2009 at 11:49 am
These are by far some of the funniest comments I have read yet. Thanks for the laughs everyone!
These jeans aren’t the only thing that’s been destroyed, what happened to the person wearing them? That knee must have been connected to something…
December 31, 2009 at 11:55 am
I think this explains a lot.
http://www.etsy.com/shop/JunkPunk?page=2
I couldn’t have done better if I’d made it up myself. Personally looking forward to the rayguns.
December 31, 2009 at 12:03 pm
Etsy Jean Genie said “You can’t see me,
Except for my pink knee and old dungarees,
Torn from abuses and different uses,
Fit 38/40, and chain is included.”
Wants $13, he must be deluded,
That’s too much greenie!
The Jean Genie’s pants are distressed!
The Jean Genie’s place is a mess!
Jean Genie, one question remains:
How did you get all those stains?
December 31, 2009 at 12:07 pm
Skully, you are oh-so-Seussical
“How did you get all those stains” is right…lmfao
December 31, 2009 at 12:14 pm
#31 WilmaFingerdoo- that is creepy! But I really think this “artist” has a shop with Serial Killers in mind. The victims are wearing the accessories.
December 31, 2009 at 12:21 pm
my son tries hard to get his pants looking like this…gonna swipe some and list them on etsy.
December 31, 2009 at 12:25 pm
No, no, no, you sell your incredibly bizarre used goods that no one their right mind could possibly want on Craigslist, not Etsy. That way, you get to have the weirdo that actually does want your old torn-up pants come visit you at your house when he picks them up.
December 31, 2009 at 12:25 pm
Man you had a hell of a weekend!
December 31, 2009 at 12:39 pm
“JUNK PUNK GOGGLES FEATURED ON MTV NEWS!
Oh yeah! The Special “Poison” Goggles That were created almost a year ago, were featured on an MTV news segment where they did a report on Steampunk culture!”
What is it w/ these people bragging about their stuff being on MTV?
Also another… interesting photoshop
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=8264145
December 31, 2009 at 12:42 pm
What’s with the little chain that goes from nothing TO nothing. As far as I can tell, the only thing it does is turn the pants into fetish wear for slobs.
December 31, 2009 at 12:49 pm
BettyMachette- methinks the artist is the grown up kid from the movie Toy Story- think his name was Sid?
Or a serial killer. Still can’t figure out why he would destroy the jeans he handmade. And who PACO is.
December 31, 2009 at 12:49 pm
Wait, that knee isn’t printed on the fabric?!?!
December 31, 2009 at 12:54 pm
#59 WilmaFingerdo ~ PACO could be creepy next door neighbor to WACO. Do you think a massive beer gut ever spilled over top of that waistband? Can you imagine the crawl spaces in that house?
December 31, 2009 at 12:54 pm
@Lara, that would be too clever.
December 31, 2009 at 12:57 pm
#6 How about the mug on the floor? What was in THAT?
December 31, 2009 at 12:59 pm
Hey! How come I’m this crazy green thing with bat wings for ears and a halo on my head? And rubber band legs. Those are kinda cool…
December 31, 2009 at 1:00 pm
#54 Betty Machete-
I would ony venture into crawl spaces in that house with special goggles, possibly a monocle eyepatch.
May encounter on of these fearful hamsters…
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=8241858
December 31, 2009 at 1:03 pm
This is nasty!!! Yuk. And the knee is ugly too.
December 31, 2009 at 1:04 pm
“What is it w/ these people bragging about their stuff being on MTV?”
December 31, 2009 at 1:10 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
December 31, 2009 at 1:21 pm
Ah, sparring hamsters and this treasure:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=mt&listing_id=8866033
Made from Color Guard flag material. Can you imagine him lurking under the bleachers-wearing a mask- and helping himself to the Color Guard??
December 31, 2009 at 1:22 pm
Jeans that make you invisible? Great, because I wouldn’t want anyone to see me wearing them.
December 31, 2009 at 1:37 pm
Now I know what to do with Hubby’s old ripped-up and stained jeans! The most recent ripped pair he came home from work in have a lovely gaping hole right in the crotch area! Do you think I could get more $$ for built in genital area ventilation?
December 31, 2009 at 5:53 pm
Under this seller’s definition…my dirty kitchen is “hand-made” too!
December 31, 2009 at 6:18 pm
The knee bone’s connected to the…uh oh.
December 31, 2009 at 6:39 pm
I’m betting this guy hasn’t clipped his toenails for months. Not surprising that he photoshopped his feet out of the picture.
December 31, 2009 at 6:46 pm
That weirdness made me dizzy for a second.
I think there was previously a large beer gut involved in that photo and they wanted to make it more Etsy front page worthy.
January 1, 2010 at 2:12 am
He obviously didn’t get his own message -
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=32218826
January 1, 2010 at 10:13 am
We really shouldn’t be giving a hard time to the hoarder that is on medication and trying so hard to get rid of the piles of garbage in the house by selling it on etsy.
Compassion, people!
January 1, 2010 at 5:54 pm
Maybe it’s hollow man…but his knee is still mysteriously visible…
So somebody drank too many beers, made a chocolate cake (i hope), and painted a few rooms in these jeans…and decided that these pants are too stained and grungy to wear anymore, so time to list them on etsy as “diy”.
January 2, 2010 at 9:29 pm
In spite of the evidence of a missing torso, I choose to believe that this person has giant knees but teenie tiny feet.
January 2, 2010 at 10:42 pm
FYI: My wife and I are huge fans of your pie charts. yay!
January 3, 2010 at 8:22 pm
Yea but.. the chain is included!
There should be some sort of class people have to take before they are allowed access to photoshop.
January 4, 2010 at 12:42 pm
Why do people try to pawn off their garbage on line?
January 5, 2010 at 2:16 am
THIS LOOKS SHOPPED / I CAN TELL FROM SOME OF THE PIXELS AND FROM SEEING QUITE A FEW SHOPS IN MY TIME
January 5, 2010 at 10:06 pm
to get this authentic look, i first killed a hooker at the side of the road. then i crawled through the woods and slaughtered a badger. wait….do badgers live in the woods?