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Wolf Shitzer

Posted by Helen Killer

80 comments

Wait – the tail is an actual pocket? Well that changes everything! I wasn’t going to spend $80 to look like a stupid hipster dipshit, but I need a pocket to keep my fingerless gloves in.

PROTIP: LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD DOES NOT HAVE A FOX IN IT

Filed in Clothing, Whimsicle Fuckery 80 comments

80 Comments

Add Comment

Dec 30, 2009
1:31 pm

#1 giant_tostada :

is that a fox on your crotch or are you just happy to rip me off for $80?

Rate this comment: +112

Dec 30, 2009
1:35 pm

#2 AnaDroid :

Oh Jeyzuz that’s ugly.
And I’m even a hipster dipshit.

If there’s Jeffree Star involved, it’s 95% likely to be ugly bullshit.

Rate this comment: +19

Dec 30, 2009
1:35 pm

#3 sudabaki :

If it doesn’t come with the plastic bag to put over my head I’m not buying it.

Rate this comment: +54

Dec 30, 2009
1:37 pm

#4 Raen :

Hah. #1, I’m glad I’m not the only one that noticed the placement of the fox head. Notice the nice “chalice” shape… I will now call this little number the Fox Box Skirt.

Rate this comment: +49

Dec 30, 2009
1:38 pm

#5 bloodorange :

Nothing says “couture” like an elastic waistband.

Rate this comment: +129

Dec 30, 2009
1:38 pm

#6 Raen :

I guess it’s a wolf… My bad, I was confused by the ugliness. The WOLF BOX* Skirt!

Rate this comment: -2

Dec 30, 2009
1:41 pm

#7 waningestrogen :

Fox or faux fox.
If that’s a wolf, it’s rabid and foaming.

Rate this comment: +14

Dec 30, 2009
1:42 pm

#8 everydaymama1 :

Wolf? Where? I only see a terrified red fox on this abomination of an outfit.

Rate this comment: +15

Dec 30, 2009
1:43 pm

#9 killerpoodle :

Is that a really creepy mannequin, or just a girl with a plastic face?

Rate this comment: +70

Dec 30, 2009
1:45 pm

#10 jinxybee :

What skirt? I can’t get past the terrifying model whose heart-shaped lips look like they’re puckered up to give the kiss of death! Her head looks like a manequin but her body looks real.((quiver)) Hold me.

Rate this comment: +51

Dec 30, 2009
1:46 pm

#11 Monstrosa :

Trying to understand why the PayPal address is in the listing. I mean, that’s kind of already set up when you choose it as a payment method. Are we being encouraged to send her random payments without buying anything? Like a donation to genius?

Rate this comment: +21

Dec 30, 2009
1:46 pm

#12 waningestrogen :

also for sale: hooter dress to smash your hooters.
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=35956276

more to the point, I wonder where one might purchase the anal beads hairpiece on the model?

Rate this comment: +28

Dec 30, 2009
1:46 pm

#13 breezerweezy :

Good question #9 killerpoodle.

I thought it was a mannequin, but now that you mention it, her arms look awfully real.

Eww.

Rate this comment: +19

Dec 30, 2009
1:48 pm

#14 mskandice :

I cannot be the only person who is totally creeped out by the face of the person who is modeling this “skirt”? I kept hoping it was a mannequin, but it looks like it is indeed human.

And I’m absolutely amazed that this shirt is so unflattering that it actually makes a borderline anorexic look fat.

Rate this comment: +47

Dec 30, 2009
1:48 pm

#15 15paintedcups :

I know I’ve seen this somewhere before, and I remember the comment about it using a fox instead of a wolf. Was this featured on Regretsy before, or do I just spend way too much time on the internet?

Rate this comment: -2

Dec 30, 2009
1:49 pm

#16 everydaymama1 :

This is absolutely terrifying!!! http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=37267142

Runs and cowers in corner…

Rate this comment: +18

Dec 30, 2009
1:50 pm

#17 ThisJustMakesMeSad :

Why is it called the ‘Big Bad Wolf Bubble Skirt’ when it really has a fox on it??

I mean, even if you go out wearing the red cape and carrying a basket, you’ll still just look like a confused idiot.

Rate this comment: +22

Dec 30, 2009
1:50 pm

#18 Monstrosa :

WTF?? http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=35978688

Rate this comment: +12

Dec 30, 2009
1:51 pm

#19 Stretch65 :

You know the item is crap when even the womannequin looks embarassed

Rate this comment: +29

Dec 30, 2009
1:54 pm

#20 waningestrogen :

If this shop is ‘couture’ in New York, I thank Bob that I live in Washington.

Rate this comment: +24

Dec 30, 2009
1:55 pm

#21 everydaymama1 :

You know, the more I look at the clothes and models, the more I think that these are actually a bunch of confused circus performers.

Rate this comment: +36

Dec 30, 2009
1:56 pm

#22 housewhisperer :

All her stuff is listed as S/M… Where in the hell are you supposed to put a medium ass in any of these?

Rate this comment: +17

Dec 30, 2009
1:57 pm

#23 hoop-a-lou :

Look at the shocking shipping price to ‘Everywhere else’…………………. for $30.00 I want it delivered in person!

Rate this comment: +9

Dec 30, 2009
1:57 pm

#24 Thistle :

18: she must go through a lot of makeup putting it all over her forehead.

no words foul enough exist in any language known to mankind to describe the utter rust and misery of these clothes.

Rate this comment: +20

Dec 30, 2009
1:58 pm

#25 Patty has been abuducted by an alien :

I know I’m “old” (okay, I’m 40), but I read stories to my kids when they were young.

It’s “Little Red RIDING HOOD”, not “Little Red Weird Wolf”.

And she wasn’t red, her cloak was red. Not the wolf, the cloak with a hood, hence the name “Red Riding Hood”.

I also thought a “bubble skirt” meant it had some kind of weird hem at the bottom that made it poof out.

But I did say I was old, so maybe my mind is going.

Rate this comment: +44

Dec 30, 2009
2:01 pm

#26 bloodorange :

This puts on my lollerskates:

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=36231576

Notice the designer brags about the dress being in Elle. Except that it’s clear Elle is praising, not the dress, but the yellow clutch being forced to hang out with the dress.

Rate this comment: +23

Dec 30, 2009
2:09 pm

#27 Monstrosa :

#23 Patty has been abuducted by an alien :
It is indeed not a bubble skirt, but a badly done waistband. And the hem is a bit clumsy too. Perhaps attaching it to balloons and letting it float away (with a note in the tail pocket) would be a fun kid’s project.

Rate this comment: +14

Dec 30, 2009
2:09 pm

#28 CreepyLittleGirl :

I love that the designer calls everything in her shop SUPER RARE! Since she makes them, doesn’t she decide how rare they are? Or is someone else making them too, just not very many?

Rate this comment: +22

Dec 30, 2009
2:10 pm

#29 CreepyLittleGirl :

And as for the new avatars, I can’t figure out how to choose my own. Anyone wanna tell me how? I wanted one before and was too dumb to figure it out, but now I’m extra motivated to get a new one.

Rate this comment: -2

Dec 30, 2009
2:12 pm

#30 Anastasia :

My one of a kind snot rockets are “SUPER RARE” as well. However, I’m not sure I can charge $80 a pop for them on etsy. I’m certainly going to try, though.

Rate this comment: +14

Dec 30, 2009
2:17 pm

#31 misnomer :

The fox mouth matches the mannequin mouth in its heart-y goodness. They are trying to work a subliminal angle here. I think?

I think the fox may have a place in the regrettable Santa category.

Rate this comment: +4

Dec 30, 2009
2:22 pm

#32 Patty has been abuducted by an alien :

#25 Monstrosa: How would you like to be standing outside and see THAT float into your yard? *eeek!*

#27 CreepyLittleGirl: The rest of us did ours through the gravatar website. You just upload a photo and choose it and such. Pretty easy to do (hey, I did it and I’m old!)

http://en.gravatar.com/

Rate this comment: +5

Dec 30, 2009
2:22 pm

#33 jinxybee :

She says Katie Perry is a big fan. I think Bjork might be a better audience.

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=26737966

Rate this comment: +3

Dec 30, 2009
2:29 pm

#34 lyontamer :

Look at that hem. There’s nothing “bubble” about it.

Rate this comment: +5

Dec 30, 2009
2:30 pm

#35 Moons in Leo :

Obviously all the mistakes are ‘ironic’ so that the hipsters won’t be embarrassed to wear it. Sure, honey. And if this is New York Couture I’m fucking Mayor Bloomberg.

Rate this comment: +11

Dec 30, 2009
2:31 pm

#36 lyontamer :

THIS is a bubble skirt.

http://www.v.80spurple.com/shop/80spurple/images/products/origin/hellz-bellz/hlb_92hb7001_pnk-2.jpg

Rate this comment: +15

Dec 30, 2009
2:33 pm

#37 Wilma Fingerdoo :

Model/mannequiun appears to be sucking on a ping pong ball with makeup done by a 4 year old.
I guess “the tail is an actual pocket” would be great if your hand were a lobster claw.
I can’t decide what’s scarier- model or outfit. Methinks model.

Rate this comment: +30

Dec 30, 2009
2:46 pm

#38 Raen :

Oh my god.. OH MY GOD. You guys made me do a double-take on what I was certain was a mannequin… AND IT’S A WOMAN! -runs off screaming-

Rate this comment: +15

Dec 30, 2009
2:49 pm

#39 banished :

I think that big question is…
is there a wicker picnic basket shortage?

Rate this comment: +3

Dec 30, 2009
2:53 pm

#40 m_kitty :

this skirt, if you can believe it, is part of people’s “stylewatch” gift guide. A featured fashion cureated list picked by style “professionals”! http://www.etsy.com/gift-guides/people-stylewatch-s-picks/226

Rate this comment: +5

Dec 30, 2009
2:53 pm

#41 polaroidart :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -4

Dec 30, 2009
2:54 pm

#42 Wilma Fingerdoo :

Wow. As seen on MTV. Jersey Shore?
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=36087158

Rate this comment: +5

Dec 30, 2009
3:02 pm

#43 polaroidart :

#42 Wilma Fingerdoo :

Wow. As seen on MTV. Jersey Shore?
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=36087158

…..

The funny thing is that Kate Perry got on
the Worth Dressed list in that panda dress!

Rate this comment: +12

Dec 30, 2009
3:04 pm

#44 Wilma Fingerdoo :

I know! I guess any press is good press? She even put it on the worst dress review as part of her post!
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=36087158

Rate this comment: +11

Dec 30, 2009
3:04 pm

#45 CreepyLittleGirl :

Ha. Thanks, Patty.

Rate this comment: 0

Dec 30, 2009
3:04 pm

#46 CreepyLittleGirl :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -10

Dec 30, 2009
3:16 pm

#47 palJacky :

actually this might be a good alternative.
Plushy costumes get so hot during those orgies.

Rate this comment: +8

Dec 30, 2009
3:17 pm

#48 Anastasia :

oh, this shit is hot in Bushwick…oops, I mean “East” Williamsburg.

Rate this comment: +3

Dec 30, 2009
3:32 pm

#49 Esmeralda_m :

EAT A SANDWICH

Rate this comment: +5

Dec 30, 2009
3:48 pm

#50 Patty has been abuducted by an alien :

#46: When I clicked refresh, your new avatar appeared. Little blonde girl.

Rate this comment: -2

Dec 30, 2009
3:48 pm

#51 TheOldGuy :

49 comments and nobody has succumbed to it… apologies in advance…

the wolf, or fox, is clearly a cunning linguist.

Rate this comment: +22

Dec 30, 2009
3:54 pm

#52 Frankenkitty :

is it horrible? I think it would be cute on a little girl, but I’m a sucker for anything with an animal on it, except that deer newspaper jacket.

Rate this comment: +11

Dec 30, 2009
3:58 pm

#53 kittyofassisi :

Haute couture (French for “high sewing” or “high dressmaking”; pronounced [oːt kutyʁ]) refers to the creation of exclusive custom-fitted clothing. Haute couture is made to order for a specific customer, and it is usually made from high-quality, expensive fabric and sewn with extreme attention to detail and finish, often using time-consuming, hand-executed techniques. Couture is a common abbreviation of Haute Couture, which refers to the same thing in spirit[1].

Rate this comment: +17

Dec 30, 2009
4:01 pm

#54 kittyofassisi :

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=37563144

hahahahahahaaa!!!!

Rate this comment: +8

Dec 30, 2009
5:01 pm

#55 ThisJustMakesMeSad :

#42 Wilma Fingerdoo :

Wow. As seen on MTV. Jersey Shore?
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=36087158
_________

Wilma, I totally agree with you, your comment made me laugh so hard. I couldn’t believe it myself, so I looked it up…
…and guess what? You won’t freakin’ believe this (I didn’t until I read the article): http://www.theinsider.com/news/1002811_Katy_Perry_s_FNMTV_Presh_Panda_Dress

Rate this comment: +5

Dec 30, 2009
5:24 pm

#56 IscreamUscream :

Few people can wrap themselves in faux animals and not look like a total idiots. Just because Björk does it…

Rate this comment: +2

Dec 30, 2009
5:28 pm

#57 thehaps :

Okay, so here we have room for very good lesson in “getting over yourself”.

Put this skirt on a regularish cute model girl. It might not be to everyone’s taste, but it would just be a possibly cute skirt with a fox on it.

But add an alarmingly skinny model with unflattering, and perplexing make-up and styling, and the whole thing goes directly to pot. And not the good pot: terrible, terrible, skunky hipster freak couture kife.

I like strange. I don’t like fucking…

Rate this comment: +15

Dec 30, 2009
5:36 pm

#58 Cath of Canberra :

I quite like the cute fox skirt. But teaming it with a fetish-PVC hood? And the unhuman makeup? And calling it Red Riding Hood? Unfortunate genre mash here.

Rate this comment: +9

Dec 30, 2009
5:47 pm

#59 BettyMachete :

Somebody give Red a sandwich, Stat.

Rate this comment: +6

Dec 30, 2009
5:55 pm

#60 takilasunrise :

I can’t get past the real model that looks like an anorexic mannequin. Yeah, everybody will be huffing and puffing when they see you in it………because they are hyperventilating from laughter!

Rate this comment: +6

Dec 30, 2009
6:11 pm

#61 YippySkippy :

I was positive that was a mannequin until I noticed that one of her boobs was about 4 inches higher than the other.

And, just for the record, the wolf in the 3 little pigs story was the one that did all the huffing and puffing. It’s hard work trying to blow down those houses.

However, it’s probably safe to say that there is some degree of huffing and, maybe even some puffing, going on here. I just don’t think the wolf is the one doing it.

Rate this comment: +7

Dec 30, 2009
6:26 pm

#62 TooManyCookbooks :

It took me a while to get past the boob-oppressing, UnflatterUltra500 Sparklebra she had on, but then I had to call over the spouse — he read the title and asked ‘So why the hell is there a fox on it?’ Then he noticed her face, and when I said it wasn’t a mannequin he made a frightened noise and backed away.

Rate this comment: +11

Dec 30, 2009
6:36 pm

#63 BettyMachete :

Where do you get the plastic hood,so no one thinks you are wearing a badly sewn apron?

Rate this comment: +1

Dec 30, 2009
7:13 pm

#64 lemon floor wax :

SUPER RARE! is going to be my new response to everything. “How ya doin’?” “SUPER RARE!” “Have you seen my shoes?” “SUPER RARE!” “How do you want your steak?” “SUPER RARE!” I can almost picture the Say What! guy yelling it…

Rate this comment: +35

Dec 30, 2009
8:53 pm

#65 HelenaHandbasket :

Okay, granted it’s horribly made, it’s mis-labeled, and it’s donned by someone more anorexic than Lindsey on a binge. Here’s what I’m puzzling over: the stunning latex hooded capelet and super-wide elastic band waisted bustier aren’t included, so WHAT in my closet (or any) would “go” with this?

Rate this comment: +19

Dec 30, 2009
9:09 pm

#66 IscreamUscream :

“…when I said it wasn’t a mannequin he made a frightened noise and backed away”
Haha! When I first saw this, I was certain it was a plastic doll. Looking closer, there’s something decidedly “bodysnatchers” about that face.

Rate this comment: +5

Dec 30, 2009
9:25 pm

#67 hello_robin :

Aw, the first item on here I had favorited before it was on Regretsy. I knew the day would come.

Rate this comment: +4

Dec 30, 2009
9:32 pm

#68 razberries :

ok this shop has some scary stuff…thing is the models may even be more freaky than the actual items…what is up with the krunk makeup?

Rate this comment: 0

Dec 30, 2009
10:18 pm

#69 sheltiepitbullfun :

Hey I would totally dress in these clothes.. if I was six. And skinny. And it was Halloween.

Rate this comment: +8

Dec 30, 2009
10:23 pm

#70 NinjaGato :

is that a mannequin head on a real body? her boobs look real.

Rate this comment: 0

Dec 30, 2009
11:32 pm

#71 Skully :

The red pocket-tailed wolf, (classified by the IUCN as “super rare”), has been hunted to the point of extinction for its fur, which is widely used by hipster dipshit designers to decorate skirts for pasty anorexic models.

Rate this comment: +16

Dec 31, 2009
6:13 am

#72 GreenFairy :

Maybe the skirt looks weird because it is a size s/m worn by a size anorexic?
Maybe it would look weird on a regular sized person, too.

I suspect the latter.

Rate this comment: -1

Dec 31, 2009
6:37 am

#73 enamy :

wow, that whole store was a treat. thanks helen.

*scratches out eyeballs*

Rate this comment: +3

Dec 31, 2009
9:45 am

#74 xvm :

I now sit in my Brooklyn apt. listening to Santogold, drinking PBR 40’s & chain smoking American Spirits, while browsing regretsy on my macbookpro. The fact that I wouldn’t wear ANY of this shit makes me feel like I should turn in my hipsterdouchebag badge somewhere.

It also says A LOT about your brand if you have Audrey Kitching modeling it.

Rate this comment: 0

Dec 31, 2009
7:36 pm

#75 pleasedontpickme :

this seller is on the front page right now, with the mustache necklace. HK…are you showing favoritism?

Rate this comment: +1

Jan 1, 2010
11:25 pm

#76 PrincessDeLaCoiffure :

@ #12 waningestrogen :
you can e-mail me directly if you would like the hair pieces made to match your hair lol

Rate this comment: +2

Jan 2, 2010
1:35 pm

#77 HermesGoddess :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -3

Jan 3, 2010
11:53 am

#78 elijah81 :

hipster? really? come on now…

Rate this comment: -1

Jan 3, 2010
5:10 pm

#79 anaisnun :

This model is shockingly thin!**

**only because I live in LA. I am quite used to seeing 5 ft 10 inch tall girls that weigh 95 lbs, but only with bolt-on silicone DD cups and fish lips*

Rate this comment: +2

Jan 4, 2010
12:46 pm

#80 PussDaddy :

What is wrong with this? I kinda like it. If only I can find a wolf costume for my other half to wear as he hits me from behind while moaning “Grandma what big teeth you have”. You guys have no imagination is what it is.

PussDaddy

Rate this comment: +8