Hasbrosary
Hail Barbie,
Full of Win,
The Lord is awesome!
Blessed art thou among 11″ fashion dolls,
and blessed is thy Porsche
which is sold separately.
Malibu Barbie,
Sister of Skipper,
play with us now,
and at the hour of 3:00,
when we get home from school.
ZOMG.
December 30, 2009 at 9:35 am
“May contain chew marks which just add to the uniqueness of the item.”
Riiiiight. Suuuuure. It makes perfect sense that the seller would prefer to use straight up garbage her unruly brood CHEWED on, rather than spring for the $0.99 to buy a whole passel of new Barbie shoes. Because it’s ETSY, that’s why, where actual garbage is totally worth a hundred bucks!
ps: the solid gold line is nearly as funny.
December 30, 2009 at 9:35 am
“May or may not contain chew marks which just add to the uniqueness of the item”.
Well that is just so whimsicle! I must have a pre-chewed rosary necklace to show off at church next time I confess my sins… One of which would be seeing this thing!
December 30, 2009 at 9:36 am
For $100 I can’t get a necklace without possible chewmarks?
December 30, 2009 at 9:36 am
Completely handmade? Really? She cast the resin for the shoe and mirror herself?
I do love a nice bit of irreverence, but not for $100.
December 30, 2009 at 9:37 am
OMG… it’s like, $100… and like, pink… and like… Barbie!
WTF?
December 30, 2009 at 9:38 am
Elephant grenade beat me to it. If I pay $100, I want it guaranteed w/o chew marks.
Also, if I wanted to pay $100 for a rosary, I could get one made entirely of Swarovski crystal beads. e.g. http://bit.ly/52t2IU
December 30, 2009 at 9:38 am
And can be made from solid gold? for a premium price? Is the seller sniffing too much glue?
December 30, 2009 at 9:39 am
“Holy Fuck!” is now more appropos than ever:)
December 30, 2009 at 9:39 am
“♥ Also item may be made out of solid gold for a premium price.”
crazycase, ya beat me to it…so it’s 100 bucks for *this* version, how much do ya think the gold one goes for?
December 30, 2009 at 9:42 am
razberries… it probably depends on what the seller actually uses that day… glue, magic marker, pot, oxy, crack…
December 30, 2009 at 9:42 am
“NOTE: Barbie Corvette Not Included”
I’m sorry, but for $100.00 it better come with the Corvette, the dream house, the entire Barbie and the Rockers band set and a fucking cookie.
December 30, 2009 at 9:44 am
Love Helen’s “prayer”
December 30, 2009 at 9:45 am
Help me here: Limited Edition OOAK. Doesn’t Limited Edition mean only a few (set number) made? OOAK translates to One Of A Kind = unique, only one, right? So how does a Limited Edition of OOAK happen? Could we be so lucky that it means less than one will be made? No, because we have been blessed with this religious artifact. If the artist produces more, then it’s not OOAK. My head hurts, but not enough to break out my daughter’s old Barbie’s and start creating.
December 30, 2009 at 9:45 am
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December 30, 2009 at 9:45 am
Well for 100 effing dollars it BETTER ship free! By Express mail complete with insurance, delivery confirmation and anything else the post office can tack on there.
December 30, 2009 at 9:46 am
AND it’s a LIMITED EDITION! OMG Now I have to have one, so I can be, like, the coolest, like person in , like, church….
okay I’ll stop now…
December 30, 2009 at 9:48 am
a totally bitchin’ rosary, like fer sure!
come unto me, toddlers and tweenies.
worship at the altar of all things vain and pink with this religious icon infused with “cuteness” and “fierce diva prowess”
your body issues and self – esteem can all be saved if you say 12 “our father-figures” and 8 “hail peaches n cream barbies”
bow before the mighty ponytail.
amen
December 30, 2009 at 9:49 am
The “lavender-ish” one is only $90!
Hands off, bitches, IT’S MINE!
December 30, 2009 at 9:52 am
#13 Bemused – definitely not OOAK, since there are 5 of these listed in the shop. think this seller has, like, for sure! been sniffing too much glue OMG!
#14 Tex – click on the pic, it will take you to the seler’s Etsy shop.
December 30, 2009 at 9:52 am
I don’t know if the rosary is more disturbing, or the fact that she sells rosaries and this:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=34392737
December 30, 2009 at 9:53 am
Wow… This stuff is really quite sacre-licious… The perfect thing for the 12 year old girl who prays to look like barbie when she grows up.
Too bad said 12year old doesn’t realise Barbie wouldn’t be able to walk, if she was a real person…
December 30, 2009 at 9:54 am
The whole Ltd Ed and OOAK thing, I’m going to guess that she’s making several of these “rosaries” in a limited quantity, but each one is OOAK. She has several of these things in her shop, but all of them are different.
December 30, 2009 at 9:56 am
Chewed on? Seriously? What child old enough for Barbie stuff is so young they’re CHEWING on it?
I’ll admit that my oldest’s very first Barbie was chewed on, but that was an unfortunate accident involving a Basset Hound puppy named Flash and an inattentive child.
We put a band-aid on her arm and eventually, Birthday Barbie became a spokesperson for other dolls scarred by puppy incidents.
December 30, 2009 at 9:57 am
Ah, I see… the chew marks are there from before the exorcism was performed.
December 30, 2009 at 9:57 am
What!?! The Barbie Corvette is not included! Hmph… *makes scrunchy face*
This makes my collection of Barbies sad. How will they admire themselves with their tiny mirrors when someone has snatched them & repurposed them? And now they must be barefoot.
But then, it could be worse, at least Mattel has yet to manufacture a small box of Barbie tampons… or worse yet, tiny Barbie cloth pads (imagine the cross promotion with Pokemon!) — I shudder to think what this seller would do with them
December 30, 2009 at 9:59 am
#20 breezerweezy – um, are those pot leaves on the “scrunch butt monokini”?
If so (really, I’m no expert), it explains a lot about this seller.
December 30, 2009 at 10:00 am
Oh, nevermind – the “lavender-ish” one has a hairbrush instead of a mirror, & I simply MUST have the mirror to gaze into while I pray for forgiveness of my sins…
December 30, 2009 at 10:01 am
Ha ha, just noticed this shop sells rosary’s AND exotic dance wear. For the strippers with a heart of gold.
December 30, 2009 at 10:02 am
#26 SarcasmQueen, Yep, those would be pot leaves.
I’m sure the seller smokes a little mary jane, while wearing her mary janes. (that was terrible, I’m sorry)
December 30, 2009 at 10:03 am
“OMG, Bless me Father, for I have like totally sinned. I had like premarital relations with my boyfriend Ken (in the back of my pink Corvette, so hot!), and at Skipper’s beach party I totally let G.I. Joe feel me up with his kung fu grip. Oh yeah, I may have chewed on my rosary, my bad!”
December 30, 2009 at 10:18 am
Like oh my god this is so totally tubular!
December 30, 2009 at 10:20 am
chew marks do not make an item more unique. they make a person more stupid for paying $100 for it.
December 30, 2009 at 10:22 am
The Barbie Rosary Prayer to The St. Queen of Cosmetic:
I pray for a man with money. Enough money for a mansion, a pool, a maid, a butler, fancy cars and a sexy ass lawn man. A man who will keep me coming and going to the plastic surgeon’s clinic. A man who accepts that I am cosmetic and not into him for him. I just deserve it all. All for me, fabulous me, wonderful me….. did I mention it’s all about me. Thank you God for knowing I deserve this. AMAN
December 30, 2009 at 10:22 am
Solid gold does not make very sturdy jump-rings.
December 30, 2009 at 10:30 am
I make jewelry out of kids toys like barbie shoes, but i don’t charge that much. Wow.
December 30, 2009 at 10:32 am
I’m not particularly religious which may be a by-product of having lived through 12 years of Catholic school. That being said, I still hope God sends a lightning bolt through her vacuous skull for even conceiving of such a creation, let alone executing it.
December 30, 2009 at 10:36 am
#35- I have LOTS O’ Friends who were Catholic and now are not- almost all tell me they are Recovering Catholics.
December 30, 2009 at 10:37 am
Since nobody else has mentioned that this looks like acreepy, Barbie-esque anal stimulation device, I won’t either. And I don’t even want to think about what people might say when the string is pulled…
December 30, 2009 at 10:44 am
#37 Sammy the Goose
My first thought was, “Is this some new anal bead Barbie fetish thing?”
Glad I’m not the only one with a deviant mind.
December 30, 2009 at 10:48 am
I’m confused. Combine Barbie crap, make it into a very religious item, then charge a fuckin hundred bucks? Is this why terrorists hate Americans?
December 30, 2009 at 10:50 am
“rosary style Vanity Beads™.”
Yup, the 100 bucks goes to help pay for the Trademark. Because let’s face it, something so original as “Vanity Beads” deserves trademarking
December 30, 2009 at 11:03 am
#37- Are you saying you would like a foot up your ass? I can do that for less then a hundred. Kids and their fetishes- I can’t keep up.
December 30, 2009 at 11:14 am
I’m just pissed i didn’t have this awesome idea. if i could just sell 50 a month…… it’s even better than the jump to conclusions mat.
December 30, 2009 at 11:20 am
#41 – No, I wasn’t saying I’d like a foot, or anything else, up my ass. That’s definitely not my idea of fun. Are you sure you’re still in recovery and not back on the pipe? Thanks for the kind offer, though.
BTW, who you callin’ a kid? I remember where I was when JFK was shot.
December 30, 2009 at 11:20 am
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December 30, 2009 at 11:21 am
now i’m even more pissed that you can’t read the whimsicle fuckery arrow pointing at my cat. http://www.flickr.com/photos/27269886@N05/4228436971/
December 30, 2009 at 11:21 am
@#41 RCB: LOL!
December 30, 2009 at 11:24 am
This idea is clever, but not $100 worth of clever. As for the rest of the store, this is what it reminds me of:
http://bit.ly/4DpH9B
December 30, 2009 at 11:28 am
I am not Catholic, but I am thinking if I WAS Catholic wouldn’t this whimsicleness offend my Catholicness? I dunno, just asking….
December 30, 2009 at 11:30 am
“First you get down on your knees,
Fiddle with Barbie’s rosaries,
Bow your head with great respect,
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!”
—with apologies to Tom Lereher
December 30, 2009 at 11:43 am
@20 and 26 – Man… that thing just reminds me of something Borat would wear. -shudders-
December 30, 2009 at 11:51 am
eff jesus, when i pray i rub my barbie shoes!
December 30, 2009 at 11:59 am
In addition to all afore mentioned comments about this seller’s confusing descriptions for this crap. Are these not real Barbie items since it is ‘Barbie-Esque?’
December 30, 2009 at 12:03 pm
Solid Gold for a premium price? I thought chewed plastic toys for 100 bucks was a premium price!
I make rosaries, and I got old GI Joe toys here…Guy’s Rosaries?
December 30, 2009 at 12:10 pm
Arg! I have chewed Barbie jewelry in my shop! I’d say I thought of it first, but this was listed on the same day, so I can’t say. Mine doesn’t cost 100 bucks, though.
December 30, 2009 at 12:26 pm
Can you specifically request chew marks? Or a solid gold one with chew marks?
December 30, 2009 at 1:03 pm
#46 banished : http://www.flickr.com/photos/27269886@N05/4228436971/
Are you making these? It’s cool and all, and great for pointing out whimsicle fuckery, but not very whimsicle in its own right. Looks sturdy, like it won’t fall apart during shipping. Plus, no faerie glitter.
December 30, 2009 at 1:05 pm
I think you go directly to hell for making stuff like this.
December 30, 2009 at 1:11 pm
OT: Is there some sort of special Avatar thing happening today? what up w/ the monsters?
December 30, 2009 at 1:27 pm
A whole new level of “You’ve got to be kidding!”
December 30, 2009 at 1:32 pm
My cat sheds really bad. There is always a flurry of white cat hair floating around chair legs, in corners, etc. Now I am thinking there must be something I can make out of it and sell on Etsy. maybe roll it up into balls and glue wiggly eyes on it? I bet someone already thought of it though.
December 30, 2009 at 1:38 pm
Ima give you eight dollars for it.
December 30, 2009 at 1:48 pm
Like OMG, this rosary would coordinate perfectly with the rose petals in my bathtub.
(Sorry, I just couldn’t resist the thought of making it look like bathtub Steven Wilson was saying that.)
Anyway, I know my little sister and I didn’t chew Barbie stuff, although when I was 10 and she was 8, we did take the head off our oldest Barbie and flushed it down a toilet in the public library. I bet this seller would have killed for that Barbie head.
December 30, 2009 at 1:57 pm
#61 ” maybe roll it up into balls and glue wiggly eyes on it?” Yes just like the Geico “stack o’ Money” – yet infinately more creepy
December 30, 2009 at 2:03 pm
the geico stack of money creeps me out….like watching you everywhere….i would have to grab it and trade it for blow just to make myself feel better.
i think the artiste believes that OOAK stands for “Only Overpriced Art, Kids”
December 30, 2009 at 2:06 pm
How many “Hail Mary’s” does one have to say if they buy this crap? Or do you just go straight to hell?
December 30, 2009 at 2:14 pm
I have a hard and fast rule about chewed up toys and wearing them on my person: No.
December 30, 2009 at 2:47 pm
@RCB ~ I am a recovering Catholic. In fact, I am trying to recover from all religion.
December 30, 2009 at 3:55 pm
This whole pre-chewed toys thing gives me an idea – I run a used book store; from now on I won’t turn down any of those scribbled-up kids’ books – now I’ll just price them all at $100, for the added value of “original artwork.”
December 30, 2009 at 4:41 pm
HAHAH. The chew marks is what got me.
December 30, 2009 at 4:50 pm
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December 30, 2009 at 5:58 pm
#21, sacre-licious is now my new favorite word. And I beseech you all to go to YouTube and check out tweenie-bopper-punk-girl band Care Bears on Fire’s song “Barbie Eat a Sandwich”. Its bad-ass.
December 30, 2009 at 6:10 pm
She better do lots of praying with those rosary beads..and ask for forgiveness for trying to rip off people!
December 30, 2009 at 6:24 pm
Am I the only one that thinks this whole debaucle would be much more appropriate (and more amusing) if it was a g-string?
December 30, 2009 at 6:26 pm
This shop is a fine example of what happens when an exotic dancer has a religious ephiphany, embraces Catholicism and moonlights as a jewelry designer. These sort of things never end well.
December 30, 2009 at 6:47 pm
Another little sidenote, btw… Turns out that there’s like nine of these ‘one of a kind’ g-string necklaces in the sellers shop. I think we need a ruling here.
December 30, 2009 at 7:06 pm
$100 for some shit that they found at the bottom of a toy box and strung together? Yeah…no. And what makes it at limited edition?
December 30, 2009 at 7:08 pm
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December 30, 2009 at 8:09 pm
#64 Stretch65, in the process of brushing our cats, I mindless started rolling the wads of fur into balls. They reminded me of the little felted beads people have been making and I started to threaten my room mate they I was going to make him a necklace out of them.
He didn’t appreciate my kindness.
December 30, 2009 at 8:37 pm
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December 30, 2009 at 9:03 pm
Okay, I’m not Catholic, so I don’t know the rules, but for $100 (non-Deluxe), she’d better guarantee all my parayers are answered.
December 30, 2009 at 10:21 pm
somewhere christ is seriously rolling his eyes
December 30, 2009 at 10:23 pm
I think the entire point of saying the rosary is the opposite of vanity(or near to it, as I believe it is for pennance and simply prayer), and therefore, this item negates itself simply by being. REDICULOUS! This is plain fuckery, whimsicle-free.
December 30, 2009 at 10:49 pm
Heck Yeah. I have a 4 year old and some of her Barbies did get chewed (by the dog) so I am like , sitting on a fortune!
December 31, 2009 at 7:13 am
A $100 is a lot of ones and fives stuffed in someones G.
December 31, 2009 at 10:20 am
Call Jeffree Star. He’d love this so he can check his ~MAC makeup.~
December 31, 2009 at 5:40 pm
I’m pretty sure I’ve found a buyer.
http://paristhebarbie.blogspot.com
January 1, 2010 at 12:57 am
I love the Etsy comedians. They make life interesting.
January 2, 2010 at 10:27 pm
This is just so wrong!!
January 3, 2010 at 11:56 am
CHEW MARKS!! That was my favorite part!
…and where do trailer park dwellers get the $ to shell out for solid gold supplies?!
January 4, 2010 at 12:50 pm
Minus the chew marks and the exorbinant price, this isn’t so bad.
January 5, 2010 at 9:33 am
@ #45
20 dislikes? Was it the bad poetry? Or did I offend Barbie?
January 11, 2010 at 6:02 pm
Pink corvette not included?
Aww man!
April 5, 2011 at 7:15 pm
LMAO!!! “may or may not contain chew marks which just adds to the uniqueness of the item…” I’ll stop there. Gotta get started on my new Barbie head rosary…..