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Merry Christmas

Posted by Helen Killer

67 comments

Filed in Holidays, Whimsicle Fuckery 67 comments

67 Comments

Add Comment

Dec 25, 2009
1:27 am

#1 drunkenatheist :

Oh shit, this is BEAUTIFUL. I’m going to be thinking of this all day.

The meowing is what does it for me.

Rate this comment: +31

Dec 25, 2009
1:34 am

#2 sudabaki :

Just when I think Regretsy can’t get any better you give us this. You’ve outdone yourself! Thank you and Merry Christmas to you!! Thanks for making the holidays whimsicle and craptastic!

Rate this comment: +26

Dec 25, 2009
2:41 am

#3 snarkeygirl :

Merry merry Christmas, HK! And many thanks for all the laughs!

Rate this comment: +17

Dec 25, 2009
3:17 am

#4 starrydreams :

That was purrrfect Helen!!! Ha Ha- Merry Christmas!!!!!

Rate this comment: +8

Dec 25, 2009
4:37 am

#5 winediva :

I didn’t catch the one on the older couple right away. Awesome! Merry Christmas, HK and all you Regretsians

Rate this comment: +14

Dec 25, 2009
5:51 am

#6 fluffysue :

That was great! Thanks for all the whimsicle fuckery. Merry Christmas!

Rate this comment: +12

Dec 25, 2009
6:06 am

#7 socharmed :

Finally. The real meaning of Christmas! “Thanks bunches, Helen Christ-Killer,” she uttered with a wicked grin, fully expecting to have the post hidden due to poor ratings… LOVE YA!

Rate this comment: +17

Dec 25, 2009
6:29 am

#8 Patty has been abuducted by an alien :

*wipes tear away from eye*

That was beautiful!

I feel like the redeemed sad little tree at the end of “A Charlie Brown Christmas” and everyone is humming the song… or in this case, meowing and barking the song.

Rate this comment: +15

Dec 25, 2009
6:56 am

#9 bootsychoo :

There was a Christmas when I was 8 years old, & I had been begging my parents for a real 10-speed bike. I didn’t think I’d get it because money was so tight that year. But, when I woke up Christmas morning, there it was, shining & gleaming in all its glory. It was the best Christmas EVER.

‘Til now.

Merry Gofuckyourselves, my Regretsy brothers & sisters.

And, HK, stellar job with the present – it fits even better than my confederate flag bandana dress.

Rate this comment: +26

Dec 25, 2009
8:08 am

#10 jojo :

As I was watching this I felt like I was part of some big private joke. And (yes!) I was.

Thanks for the morning laugh. Merry Christmas to all the Regrets and HK.

Rate this comment: +28

Dec 25, 2009
8:13 am

#11 everydaymama1 :

Beautiful! The most perfect Christmas montage ever!! Merry Christmas all!!!

Rate this comment: +19

Dec 25, 2009
8:34 am

#12 HelenaHandbasket :

Damn you, Helen! You made me smile so hard that I’m going to have to move my Botox appointment up!

Blessings of whatever season you celebrate to you all.

Rate this comment: +24

Dec 25, 2009
8:37 am

#13 Thistle :

heh, that was awesome!!!!

merry gofuckyourselves, everyone!

Rate this comment: +15

Dec 25, 2009
8:46 am

#14 IscreamUscream :

well done…lmao!
Funny seeing those all again.
craptastic holidays to all!

Rate this comment: +13

Dec 25, 2009
9:51 am

#15 Monstrosa :

Oh Christmas Cat, Oh Christmas Cat, How lovely are your branches….

Merry Christmas, Christmas Cat!

Rate this comment: +18

Dec 25, 2009
9:53 am

#16 Skully :

Thank you Helen, Bronc, and all the talented Photoshoppers! Merry Christmas, together we warm!

Rate this comment: +22

Dec 25, 2009
10:01 am

#17 studiorose :

Sadly, I won’t be able to share this with friends and family, as I’d have to include a long, mostly nonsensical introduction explaining WTH it’s about, and alas, this tasty ham won’t cover itself with cloves and pineapple and put itself in the oven.

Rate this comment: +22

Dec 25, 2009
10:06 am

#18 quizzicalpussy :

God bless us, every one!

Rate this comment: +18

Dec 25, 2009
10:52 am

#19 dangerousmezzo :

What a beautiful, heart-warming present!

A very happy Christmas to all!

Rate this comment: +14

Dec 25, 2009
12:04 pm

#20 whyohwhy :

Priceless whimsicle merry christmas fuckery!

Rate this comment: +3

Dec 25, 2009
12:10 pm

#21 hammerhead77 :

Here’s my gift to ya’ll. (I think I sent this to HK, but I honestly can’t remember. I was up half the night wrapping presents. Everything after about 11pm is a blur.)
I said I’d post video of my dog wearing the rudolph antler-nose contraption that I bought from the dreidel pet hat seller. Yes, my dog now hates me. Enjoy!:

http://s762.photobucket.com/albums/xx262/hammerhead77/?action=view&current=Pet_humiliation.flv

Rate this comment: +26

Dec 25, 2009
12:21 pm

#22 Orlana :

#21 Hammerhead, what a cute dog!

Rate this comment: +11

Dec 25, 2009
12:56 pm

#23 ThisJustMakesMeSad :

Ha ha,thanks for all the laughs Regretsy and Regretsians! Merry Christmas.

Rate this comment: +10

Dec 25, 2009
12:58 pm

#24 studiorose :

Awwww, looks like your dog hated you for only 10.5 seconds. Biscuits fix everything! Great video. Please don’t tell your dog that I laughed really hard when she looked up so pitifully with that awful red nose. (Do Etsy sellers take back items once they have doggy snot on ‘em?)

Rate this comment: +11

Dec 25, 2009
1:34 pm

#25 Kimmer-G :

I’m one of those sad souls who is alone on xmas…to have something like this to smile about means a lot…and I feel so gay-ass-lame saying that!! But thanks and Merry GoFuckYourselves to all!!

Rate this comment: +20

Dec 25, 2009
4:35 pm

#26 Skully :

@#21 HH77: Thanks for sharing your pet humiliation video, that was cute. I was tempted to get something similar for our chug (pug/chihuahua), but he’s still pissed off that I made him wear an orange and black sweater for Haloween.

@#25 KG: Come on over! My wife, daughter, and I are playing with our new stuff, eating leftovers, listening to Al Green, and watching the burning log channel. And I have one bottle of Guinness left in the fridge with your name on it.

Rate this comment: +18

Dec 25, 2009
4:40 pm

#27 hammerhead77 :

Kimmer-G, that effin’ sucks! I’ll try to provide some more amusement for ya.

Here are pictures of Christmas crafts that I made as a kid. Notice the resemblance to many Regretsy items!

Handmade clay tree!:
http://i762.photobucket.com/albums/xx262/hammerhead77/P1040721.jpg
OOAK finger-painted coffee can!:
http://i762.photobucket.com/albums/xx262/hammerhead77/P1040725.jpg
Hand-drawn Christmas mug!: http://i762.photobucket.com/albums/xx262/hammerhead77/mug-1st-grade.jpg

Rate this comment: +19

Dec 25, 2009
5:38 pm

#28 IscreamUscream :

Speaking of pet humiliation–here’s a friend’s dog for Halloween. The look is priceless…I had to share.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2493/4191067178_c5fab6e154_o.jpg

Rate this comment: +7

Dec 25, 2009
7:03 pm

#29 pleasedontpickme :

Hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday season…Thanks! to Regretsy!

Tonight at my mom’s house, at the dinner table, she asked me if I would make her a necklace out of her old teeth. I just wanted to make ya’s jealous.

Rate this comment: +15

Dec 25, 2009
7:31 pm

#30 Kimmer-G :

Thanks Skully and Hammer

You don’t know how close I am to gettin on a plane!! You rock.
*hugs*

Rate this comment: +16

Dec 25, 2009
7:35 pm

#31 michelleames :

#21 hammerhead77 “exercise the demons of pet humiliation” cracked me up. What an awesome dog you have for putting up with it for even 30 seconds!

Merry Whimsical Christmas and a Happy Fucking New Year everyone!

Rate this comment: +11

Dec 25, 2009
9:36 pm

#32 lilprincess :

That was both whimsicle and craptastic. I’m fairly sure that cat is pure evil, and I’m still trying to figure out what the penis in the pipe thing is all about…

Rate this comment: +8

Dec 25, 2009
9:52 pm

#33 whoanellee :

That made me a little misty-eyed, that did.

Rate this comment: +12

Dec 25, 2009
9:58 pm

#34 whoanellee :

#21- Hammerhead…. I’m pretty sure that I see fear, followed by a newly hatched plan to kill you in your sleep in your dog’s eyes.

But really, your dog was a very good sport!

Rate this comment: +8

Dec 25, 2009
10:25 pm

#35 NinjaGato :

And a happy festivus for the rest of us.

I loved the David Bowie pictures in the living room.

Rate this comment: +12

Dec 26, 2009
1:48 am

#36 charmerci :

I missed it. Where does this Level 4/5 come from?

Rate this comment: +8

Dec 26, 2009
6:01 am

#37 Nixie Knox :

OMFG! I’ve been lurking for a few days and have found this to be the most outrageous website ever! Nothing like a little (a lot!) of schadenfreude to rip you out of a holiday funk! I can’t WAIT to see how you’ll do Valentine’s Day Helen

Rate this comment: +14

Dec 26, 2009
6:58 am

#38 Scoldin' Girls :

Every Christmas is merrier with Bowie. Oh come, all ye faithful.

Rate this comment: +11

Dec 26, 2009
8:17 am

#39 methuselah :

You couldn’t have made me any happier than if I’d been able to spend the entire day drunk and unconscious. Which is my plan for next year. Merry sksXdrei32a@ to you and yours!

Rate this comment: +13

Dec 26, 2009
9:41 am

#40 nitebyrd :

This made the post-Christmas hangover much more enjoyable. Thank!

Rate this comment: +8

Dec 26, 2009
12:52 pm

#41 razberries :

fyi, i visited you all yesterday from my mother’s home and posted on this to say merry xmas…um, yeah, her crazy pc of course didn’t post my comments as i am logged in today from home and just noticed that (duh)…kimmer g, you always have a home on regretsy!

i hope you all had a nice one yesterday- thanks for all the laughs and pictures, etc. thus far and can’t wait to celebrate the upcoming other holidays with you all
HK, as always, you rock and thanks for the FUN

Rate this comment: +9

Dec 26, 2009
12:57 pm

#42 BettyMachete :

Merry Merry to all! Loved this ensemble, so much talent. In another cat theme (since I can’t photoshop yet)….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TnZhi5gaX8g

Rate this comment: +7

Dec 26, 2009
1:23 pm

#43 razberries :

betty, i have seen that youtube vid before..isn’t that lady a total nutjob? like someone really needs instructions on how to pet a cat…LOL

Rate this comment: +5

Dec 26, 2009
2:02 pm

#44 The Fabulous Bunhed :

Best. Present. Ever.

Thank you!

Rate this comment: +6

Dec 26, 2009
2:07 pm

#45 IscreamUscream :

Catmassage.com–based in Santa Barbara, figures!
It had to be SB–or Marin. We have “pet psychics” here, and people pray to little cat Buddhas too. People are freaking nutso.

Rate this comment: +4

Dec 26, 2009
4:01 pm

#46 palJacky :

how the hell is one supposed to get excited over a crappy t-shirts from Banana republic? because they are slightly better than the usual crappy t-shirts from old navy.

Kimmer G. It could be worse, you could be with my family.

“Nothing good has ever come out of christmas”

Rate this comment: +4

Dec 26, 2009
6:24 pm

#47 razberries :

Ok I am bored and patiently waiting for HK’s next post…I sent this to her recently via email but thought you would all like to see, too!
http://portablenorthpole.tv/watch/4ac41efa16180fc4158f7aefc89bf93c

Rate this comment: +9

Dec 26, 2009
6:34 pm

#48 DucksNew :

Belated holiday wishes to you all. Hope everyone had a good day yesterday. I had the wonderful luck to get sick Christmas Eve night…figures I’d be recovering from something other than a hangover lol

But, it could be worse. Stay safe y’all.

Rate this comment: +5

Dec 27, 2009
7:59 am

#49 Recovering Crack Baby :

This is fucking fabulous!!!!!!! I am starting to have Regretsy withdraws- Helen…. can you come out and play?

Rate this comment: +12

Dec 27, 2009
8:49 am

#50 MaryLeah :

This just made my christmas…. Helen, I <3 you!

Rate this comment: +4

Dec 27, 2009
9:35 am

#51 cratz :

#47 razberries – That is hilarious! Good work! I expected Santa to say whimsicle fuckery, which really would have been a scream.

Thanks, as many have already said, for Regretsy and the help warding off the holiday blues. Can we start saying Happy New Year yet?

HAPPY NEW YEAR to all of Regretsyland!

Rate this comment: +7

Dec 27, 2009
12:00 pm

#52 IscreamUscream :

“Ok I am bored…”
LOL…nicely done!

A perfect Regretsy Santa too…something troubling about that guy, sitting in that weird, dark room…pulling “your file”.

Rate this comment: +6

Dec 27, 2009
2:46 pm

#53 Frankenkitty :

I hope everyone had a nice gofuckyourself! I’m looking forward to keeping the festivities going this week with a little Kwanzaa fuckery, but I just looked and the pickin’s are slim.

Rate this comment: +5

Dec 27, 2009
5:15 pm

#54 WhimsyMistress :

Awesome. Much Applause!!!!! And to all the others who posted pics and video in the comments, thanks to you too. I needed some laughs! Hammerhead, your dog is very cute! I used to have a video of our basset, Annabelle, ripping some antlers off her head and proceeding to immediately shred them, completely with the “break-its-neck” head shaking fury.. gotta find that….

Rate this comment: +4

Dec 27, 2009
10:25 pm

#55 whoanellee :

*sweating, shaking, DTs setting in*
Need a fix of snark. Where can a sister get a hit of regretsy? I’m jonesing, man.

Rate this comment: +8

Dec 28, 2009
6:24 am

#56 HelenaHandbasket :

I sure hope if Helen has fallen into a post-holiday turkey coma that she has us all down under Who To Contact In Case Of Emergency. I’d give her a kidney or donate blood or bring her a fruit basket or something!

Rate this comment: +8

Dec 28, 2009
8:08 am

#57 UFP :

I have a snack for everyone while we wait.
I’ll post it as soon as I have my break at 10.
It’s not from Etsy but it’s 100% handmade fuckery.
I can’t think of any other group of people who would fully understand the whimsicle horror of these pieces.
Stay tuned….

Rate this comment: +1

Dec 28, 2009
8:10 am

#58 Skully :

Oh dear God, I can’t wait anymore! I’m gonna hit the Regretsy archives until HK starts posting again!

Rate this comment: +4

Dec 28, 2009
9:14 am

#59 Recovering Crack Baby :

SKULLY- nearly the last thing she said was something about bourbon and pancakes.
Let’s hope, for the sake of this site, that only something minor like going to jail for flying on an airplane the following day with bourbon diarrhea is what happened to Helen.

Rate this comment: +1

Dec 28, 2009
9:23 am

#60 palJacky :

the lady worked on christmas.
Give her a break.
You guys can’t even go TWO DAYS without a new post.
Buck up and stop your whining.

I had three days of family this year. The night the cousins came to my house there were 10 adults and they stayed three hours. they went through 3 rolls of toilet paper and I had a cousin wheel his own cooler onto my porch filled with coors light.

The last thing I want to read her are complaints of ‘helen doesn’t love us anymore’

Rate this comment: +6

Dec 28, 2009
9:41 am

#61 Skully :

@#60 Pal Jacky: Wow, three rolls? Hope it wasn’t your Poker Face TP.

Rate this comment: +4

Dec 28, 2009
10:00 am

#62 UFP :

Ok. Backstory:
I live in a very nice house with a bunch of smart creative people who do their dishes and engage in little to no whimsy whatsoever.
However.
There is a temporary sublet person for one month (4 more days 4 more days) who plays loud crappy trance-pop-techno in the common areas while doing fake yoga and playing the bongos. Not joking.
She made a pile of “greeting cards” & I gladly snagged these 2while trying to keep a straight face.

Rate this comment: +2

Dec 28, 2009
10:05 am

#63 UFP :

outside of card 1
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2593/4222179201_0f495f1ce3.jpg
inside
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2662/4222943976_888a60d70d.jpg
outside of card 2
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2635/4222946062_843e147d34.jpg
inside (please note the recording device and sniffing)
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2502/4222948188_e709445c58.jpg
And the backs of the cards.
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2544/4222950216_d2e14e8b35.jpg

The horror. The horror.

Rate this comment: +2

Dec 28, 2009
2:22 pm

#64 UFP :

Uh oh are my links forbidden?

Rate this comment: 0

Dec 28, 2009
2:24 pm

#65 UFP :

Nevermind, I’m an idiot. But I don’t record people pooping, so there’s that.

Rate this comment: +1

Dec 28, 2009
7:12 pm

#66 aroseisarose :

Late, and loving the awesomesauce here. Long Live Regretsy!

Rate this comment: 0

Dec 28, 2009
8:38 pm

#67 MajorDanger :

Brilliant. Thank you for this!

Rate this comment: 0