My husband was just saying last night that musicians who wear corpse paint aren’t handsome dudes and that’s what they have to do to make it in the biz. So by that logic, were these some ugly angels?
#4 razberries: I was just thinking that it looked an awful lot like Malcolm McDowell in Clockwork Orange. That movie embodies the spirit of Christmas, don’t you think?
um and you guys also can’t mean to tell me that they totally just listed this crap to get onto regretsy- no profile, no bio, and joined in december…it’s not black, it’s called shady…”Behole”? more like bunghole
i think i would have felt differently about them if their whole bodies were painted or if they were given little goth outfits, but it just reminds me of Krusty the Clown of the Simpsons when you see him unclothed
Hahaha, outstanding. For those complaining that they look unfinished, I took the liberty of expertly photoshopping the heads onto the bodies of Immortal.
…It ended up looking essential the same as Immortal always look… http://i78.photobucket.com/albums/j90/Opkakeren/Immortal-cherubs.jpg
(To the tune of Rock and Roll All Night)
Behole’s showin’ us what he’s got:
Two corpse cherubs, so we say “Say What?”
22 bucks? You must be crazy!
Just five inches, ready for hangin’,
Painted with Wite-Out and a Sharpie pen.
22 bucks? You must be crazy!
We keep on shoutin’, we keep on shoutin’:
Who needs a black metal cherub to hang on Christmas day?
What a great idea! I want to white-out and sharpy all of my grandmother’s heirloom ornaments to look like Charlie Parker. I probably won’t need much white-out..
Maybe it’s just ignorance on my part, but I’m thinking that anyone truly “metal” wouldn’t hang cherubs up at all- even if they have wannabe KISS face paint.
How would (did) anyone even find this item? The tags are spelled wrong (Balak Metal) and there’s little else to search for… I agree with the Regretsy bait… who submitted this fake crap anywho?
Well I for one think that the black eye makeup has been expertly applied. You can tell they really understand the whole metal lifestyle. I mean, a poser would have just rimmed the eyes in black and left off the feathering/eyelashes.
Well, I’ve never wanted Peter Stanley (OBVIOUSLY the one on the right) and Gene Simmons hanging from my tree, but if I do one day I’ll know where NOT to go.
hark! the metal angels wail,
behole the newborn kings of fail!
product of a crackhead’s dream,
crap to make teh jebus scream!
though raz doesnt think theyre real,
twenty-two bucks is a steal!
hark! the metal angels yell,
shipped straight to your door
…from hell!
December 21, 2009 at 10:10 am
Christmas Clutter Reimagined: no need to regift the Santa-face cookie platter, just paint it in Wite-Out and shoe polish and put it on Etsy.
December 21, 2009 at 10:12 am
I don’t know, even with the face paint they look pretty damn white to me…
December 21, 2009 at 10:12 am
Uhh..these were painted by a corpse?
My husband was just saying last night that musicians who wear corpse paint aren’t handsome dudes and that’s what they have to do to make it in the biz. So by that logic, were these some ugly angels?
December 21, 2009 at 10:15 am
I’m so goth I shit bats.
December 21, 2009 at 10:15 am
these remind me of the time on tv that KISS revealed their real faces underneath the costume makeup…this is even scarier
anyone else think the cherub on the left looks like a poor man’s brandon lee from the crow?
December 21, 2009 at 10:15 am
Gene Simmons as heavenly art? Now I have seen it all!!
December 21, 2009 at 10:16 am
Hark, the BLACKEST angels sing! It’s just a total fuckfest on Etsy lately.
December 21, 2009 at 10:17 am
What, I’m supposed to clothe them in my *own* black-leather-and-nails armor-style accessories? Or are they just sold seperately?
December 21, 2009 at 10:17 am
straight out of a tim burton nightmare…
December 21, 2009 at 10:17 am
#4 razberries: I was just thinking that it looked an awful lot like Malcolm McDowell in Clockwork Orange. That movie embodies the spirit of Christmas, don’t you think?
December 21, 2009 at 10:18 am
um and you guys also can’t mean to tell me that they totally just listed this crap to get onto regretsy- no profile, no bio, and joined in december…it’s not black, it’s called shady…”Behole”? more like bunghole
December 21, 2009 at 10:20 am
“Around 5 inches tall, set up for hanging.”
Where does the noose go?
December 21, 2009 at 10:25 am
All ready for the KISS concert.
December 21, 2009 at 10:26 am
I love ‘em!
December 21, 2009 at 10:28 am
#10 razberries : I’m with you raz… I’m calling faux fuckery on these…
December 21, 2009 at 10:30 am
Rats. I already got my Pastor a copy of the latest Manheim Steamroller. Otherwise, these would have been perfect. He loves Mimes.
December 21, 2009 at 10:30 am
@#4 RB and #5 EM: These remind me of KISS also, my first thought was “Ohhhhh, Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley were such cute little babies.”
December 21, 2009 at 10:34 am
i think i would have felt differently about them if their whole bodies were painted or if they were given little goth outfits, but it just reminds me of Krusty the Clown of the Simpsons when you see him unclothed
December 21, 2009 at 10:36 am
Razberries and Martini (sounds yummy), it’s just a testament to how cool Regretsy is.
December 21, 2009 at 10:38 am
#17 flare :
Agreed. They look unfinished. Lazy, I calls it.
December 21, 2009 at 10:40 am
I wonder which song those little angels are going to sing on Christmas morning… ‘Hotter Than Hell’?
December 21, 2009 at 10:56 am
Hahaha, outstanding. For those complaining that they look unfinished, I took the liberty of expertly photoshopping the heads onto the bodies of Immortal.
…It ended up looking essential the same as Immortal always look…
http://i78.photobucket.com/albums/j90/Opkakeren/Immortal-cherubs.jpg
Totally kvlt.
December 21, 2009 at 11:06 am
All they’re missing is a studded dog collar.
December 21, 2009 at 11:10 am
I’ve always hated cherubs, so I think this is an improvement.
December 21, 2009 at 11:10 am
(To the tune of Rock and Roll All Night)
Behole’s showin’ us what he’s got:
Two corpse cherubs, so we say “Say What?”
22 bucks? You must be crazy!
Just five inches, ready for hangin’,
Painted with Wite-Out and a Sharpie pen.
22 bucks? You must be crazy!
We keep on shoutin’, we keep on shoutin’:
Who needs a black metal cherub to hang on Christmas day?
December 21, 2009 at 11:12 am
Join us if you have not already. We could use a Behole on here.
December 21, 2009 at 11:46 am
What a great idea! I want to white-out and sharpy all of my grandmother’s heirloom ornaments to look like Charlie Parker. I probably won’t need much white-out..
December 21, 2009 at 11:58 am
#11 – And no shipping charge, either. I think someone just wanted some e-validation.
December 21, 2009 at 12:11 pm
Maybe it’s just ignorance on my part, but I’m thinking that anyone truly “metal” wouldn’t hang cherubs up at all- even if they have wannabe KISS face paint.
December 21, 2009 at 1:00 pm
apropos of absolutely nothing, yet inspired by the notion of rockstar fetish dolls:
Dear Santa,
All I want for Christmas is a Joey Ramone Bobblehead doll
Thx,
MD
December 21, 2009 at 1:16 pm
How would (did) anyone even find this item? The tags are spelled wrong (Balak Metal) and there’s little else to search for… I agree with the Regretsy bait… who submitted this fake crap anywho?
December 21, 2009 at 1:43 pm
You know what makes these “Christmas cherubs” REALLY subversive? Gene Simmons is a Jew.
December 21, 2009 at 1:44 pm
cherubs are so fucking meh-tuhl! yeah! \m/ ^^ \m/
December 21, 2009 at 2:11 pm
Ugh. That’s all I got till Happy Hour begins..
December 21, 2009 at 2:37 pm
@#30 Major Danger: Hey! Ho Ho Ho! Let’s Go!
http://i985.photobucket.com/albums/ae338/grinreaper1965/Regretsy/joeyramonebobblehead.gif
December 21, 2009 at 2:39 pm
Well I for one think that the black eye makeup has been expertly applied. You can tell they really understand the whole metal lifestyle. I mean, a poser would have just rimmed the eyes in black and left off the feathering/eyelashes.
December 21, 2009 at 3:12 pm
Well, I’ve never wanted Peter Stanley (OBVIOUSLY the one on the right) and Gene Simmons hanging from my tree, but if I do one day I’ll know where NOT to go.
December 21, 2009 at 3:31 pm
I don’t get why they’re “Blackest” when they’re wearing white face.
someone explain this to the dumb girl.
December 21, 2009 at 3:38 pm
i SMELL A SET UP. BOOOOOOOOOOOO!
December 21, 2009 at 3:41 pm
What? No skintight leather onesies?
December 21, 2009 at 4:34 pm
Behole has only been on Etsy since December 17, 2009. Deeply suss.
December 21, 2009 at 4:53 pm
Since when did looking like Robert Smith mean you were into black metal?
December 21, 2009 at 4:57 pm
#38 NinjaGato, I think “Blackest” refers to ‘black metal’ style. Corpse paint is the goofy black and white makeup that black metal bands wear.
December 21, 2009 at 5:05 pm
These are awesome. I wish the seller had more stuff.
December 21, 2009 at 5:28 pm
It looks like a passive-aggressive tween defaced his grandma’s bathroom wallhangings with whiteout and a Sharpie.
December 21, 2009 at 5:30 pm
hark! the metal angels wail,
behole the newborn kings of fail!
product of a crackhead’s dream,
crap to make teh jebus scream!
though raz doesnt think theyre real,
twenty-two bucks is a steal!
hark! the metal angels yell,
shipped straight to your door
…from hell!
December 21, 2009 at 5:53 pm
If these were painted to look like the members of KISS, I would absolutely hang them on my wall.
December 21, 2009 at 6:35 pm
#47 TooManyCookbooks :
Absolutely! They should just take it all the way. Over the top beats half-assed any day.
December 21, 2009 at 7:11 pm
Goths these days are so lazy, why paint just the heads? C’mon for 11 bucks a pop put some goddamned work into it!
December 21, 2009 at 9:24 pm
#22 sllalle : that was sooo aaaawsome! we’re not worthy, we’re not worthy!