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All I Want For Christmas

This Christmas, tell her you’d marry her all over again with a set of corroded dentures that smell like a bum’s ass.

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84 comments on All I Want For Christmas

  1. kurtis
    December 21, 2009 at 5:23 pm

    I just wonder if the creator has ever seen a necklace.

    Thumb up Thumb down +49

  2. fluffysue
    December 21, 2009 at 5:26 pm

    My friends will be jealous that I have some disgusting old teeth hanging around my neck? I doubt it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +24

  3. razberries
    December 21, 2009 at 5:27 pm

    i don’t even think the toothfairy would pay for this

    Thumb up Thumb down +67

  4. Helen Killer
    December 21, 2009 at 5:28 pm

    And yet, it’s still not as ugly as the shit Jane Seymour is hawking.

    Thumb up Thumb down +62

  5. smurfy12b
    December 21, 2009 at 5:29 pm

    Dammit hunny – I said I wanted PEARLS not pearly whites.

    Thumb up Thumb down +39

  6. txesg
    December 21, 2009 at 5:31 pm

    I’m a dentist, so this item fascinates me. Perhaps I could wear this like a trophy necklace and add on to it throughout my workday?

    Thumb up Thumb down +122

  7. levelfive
    December 21, 2009 at 5:32 pm

    I’m so glad they added strong adhesive so I wouldn’t lose any. Wouldn’t want to lose any of the disgusting old false teeth.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  8. istillheartbretmichaels
    December 21, 2009 at 5:32 pm

    I LOVE this person’s work.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  9. Recovering Crack Baby
    December 21, 2009 at 5:35 pm

    Have you ever been watching TV and someone vomits, unexpectably, and they show it causing you to be queasy. When I clicked on Regretsy and this popped up it was just like that.

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  10. befuddled
    December 21, 2009 at 5:35 pm

    I think Grandpa better check his glass by the sink.

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  11. NinjaGato
    December 21, 2009 at 5:36 pm

    Yes, this will make my friends jealous. Because my friends have no teeth, and not only do I have teeth, I have a necklace made of other peoples fake teeth…just to rub it in.

    Thumb up Thumb down +74

  12. NinjaGato
    December 21, 2009 at 5:39 pm

    If they’re porcelain why do they look like they have cavities?

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

  13. BettyMachete
    December 21, 2009 at 5:39 pm

    Can I wear this with the eyelash necklace and REALLY make my friends jealous?

    Thumb up Thumb down +88

  14. sudabaki
    December 21, 2009 at 5:41 pm

    #6 txesg: You could wear it as a warning. Brush dammit or I’m putting these in your mouth!

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  15. txesg
    December 21, 2009 at 5:41 pm

    Any potential buyers need to be aware that the red wax those teeth are glued to will become soft and melty when warm. Therefore it’s a strong possibility that the teeth may end up in your cleavage before the day is out.

    Thumb up Thumb down +91

  16. sunshynegrll
    December 21, 2009 at 5:42 pm

    Nothing says ‘serial killer’ like a necklace made of teeth.

    Thumb up Thumb down +97

  17. Thistle
    December 21, 2009 at 5:42 pm

    reminds me of the simpson’s episode where bart stole grandpa’s teeth and broke them by hanging on to the ceiling fan….and then taped them back together with scotch tape. and grandpa spent the whole episode trying to steal a set from the other nursing home residents.

    yeah, like that.

    exactly.

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

  18. flare
    December 21, 2009 at 5:45 pm

    Pair that with the eyelash necklace and the CareBear leg warmers – now that’s whimsical!

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  19. BettyMachete
    December 21, 2009 at 5:45 pm

    Also a great gift for the Ice Hockey player in your life.

    Thumb up Thumb down +28

  20. IscreamUscream
    December 21, 2009 at 5:46 pm

    #4 I had to look up that Jane Seymour “open heart jewelry”–who thought up that crap? Etsy out-talents here by a large margin.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  21. NinjaGato
    December 21, 2009 at 5:46 pm

    14- But she superglued them down. Superglue is almost as awesome as duct tape.

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  22. NinjaGato
    December 21, 2009 at 5:51 pm

    This is a nice addition to my serial killer collection. It’ll go nicely with my squirrel blood necklace, my raccoon penis pendant, and my Gacy clown painting.

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  23. NinjaGato
    December 21, 2009 at 5:52 pm

    Should this also be filed in “Dead Things” since the previous owner is most likely 6 feet under?

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  24. Monstrosa
    December 21, 2009 at 5:52 pm

    Ah, duct tape! I once made too-small snow chains fit my tires with duct tape. Why isn’t this necklace made out of duct tape?

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  25. NinjaGato
    December 21, 2009 at 5:53 pm

    txesg- Seriously though, if they’re fake, why do they look diseased?

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  26. HelenaHandbasket
    December 21, 2009 at 5:53 pm

    I appreciate the seller’s concern, but I’m hard-pressed to imagine the occasion on which I would end up to need these. I do agree, however, that all my friends will B Sew Jellis.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  27. IscreamUscream
    December 21, 2009 at 5:54 pm

    This necklace bites.

    Thumb up Thumb down +39

  28. sudabaki
    December 21, 2009 at 5:54 pm

    Is it just me or do they look like a horror show porch swing?

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

  29. NinjaGato
    December 21, 2009 at 5:55 pm

    Monstrosa- can you imagine if when you got it home, the teeth were pinned down by little rolled up balls of duct tape? I would laugh (and laugh)

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  30. NinjaGato
    December 21, 2009 at 5:58 pm

    In the sellers defense some of her stuff is really neat
    like this
    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=37146339
    but then I really like seahorses.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  31. razberries
    December 21, 2009 at 5:59 pm

    ok so i had not seen the jane seymour stuff- after looking at it, all i can do is “see more butts”…no seriously, the bottom half of the heart looks like a bottom half (sorry to be so punny)

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  32. BettyMachete
    December 21, 2009 at 5:59 pm

    Are they British?

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  33. IscreamUscream
    December 21, 2009 at 6:02 pm

    #30 “see more butts” Oh man…exactly that’s it! :P

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  34. NinjaGato
    December 21, 2009 at 6:02 pm

    razberries- I always thought that her stuff looked like boobs on the top and a butt. Very Freudian if you ask me.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  35. UFP
    December 21, 2009 at 6:03 pm

    Oh my.
    Ok. In case the seller reads this and thinks Regretsy “doesn’t get it”:
    I like when jewelry makers utilize unexpected materials. I own a necklace that includes fake teeth. However. You have to be careful when trying to pull this sort of thing off. I CLEANED THE DAMNED THINGS, didn’t leave them stuck in their nasty ass old piece of wax with some ratty chain I didn’t want anymore, and basically, you know, treated them like gems/beads.
    This is the “macaroni glued to paper”…

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  36. UFP
    December 21, 2009 at 6:04 pm

    …version.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  37. bootsychoo
    December 21, 2009 at 6:06 pm

    #4 Helen & #30 raz
    & the top half looks like tits. My hubby asked if I wanted one of Jane Seymour’s T&A necklaces for Christmas (Um, no.)

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  38. HomeAlone
    December 21, 2009 at 6:07 pm

    ok, this is proof I don’t have a life, but I get the Etsy finds e-mailed to me, and someone just sold 4 rows of these fake teeth on wax the other day (for 35 bucks!) maybe to this seller, and that’s about how long it took her to labor over attaching the chain and calling it jewelry.

    More importantly, I have a whole friggin collection of these things… including… incisors! I’m rich!

    Wait… I won’t be on Regretsy if I don’t try to make earrings out of them, right?

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  39. txesg
    December 21, 2009 at 6:07 pm

    #20 ninja: But she superglued them to WAX. That’s like duct taping something to a birthday cake.

    A few guesses as to why they look so disgusting…
    1. They’re used. Could have been removed from an old denture for some reason.
    2. They have bits of wax all over them, which attracts dirt. There are a few different types of wax used to set denture teeth in place prior to the dentures being processed (during which all the wax melts away).
    3. The seller applied superglue during a dust storm.

    Thumb up Thumb down +37

  40. NinjaGato
    December 21, 2009 at 6:12 pm

    38- Number 2 sounds like it could be the reason why the teeth look like they’ve come out of a number two.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  41. Bemused
    December 21, 2009 at 6:41 pm

    How do we know this “artist” isn’t a “cemetary findings up-cycler”?

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  42. Frankenkitty
    December 21, 2009 at 6:41 pm

    “Oh these? They belonged to my beloved late grandmother. Could you pass the salt?”

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  43. Thistle
    December 21, 2009 at 6:43 pm

    a bad rocky horror imitation

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  44. GoldenAppleofDiscord
    December 21, 2009 at 6:46 pm

    The profile of the shop owner explains a great deal:
    “The daughter of two scientists, I have always been fascinated by science; especially natural history. I’ve also always felt a strong connection to the Victorians and their compulsive tendency to collect and classify everything. I totally relate to their love of taxonomy, and their habit of creating mounted, pickled and taxidermied “cabinets of curiosities” …And I love jewelry. ”

    After reading suddenly teeth on a necklace make…

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  45. jwheeler
    December 21, 2009 at 6:56 pm

    Lovely? Really?

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  46. sbarnes2
    December 21, 2009 at 7:02 pm

    @14- When I saw wax, I thought “ewww!” What if you accidentally stick your finger in it? Unless she coated the entire thing with a sealant an inch thick,…just…ewwwww.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  47. dustbunny
    December 21, 2009 at 7:21 pm

    No thanks – I just wouldn’t want the kind of attention this would bring.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  48. starrydreams
    December 21, 2009 at 7:31 pm

    #4- Hey Helen- can you put this in a room?

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  49. martini
    December 21, 2009 at 7:37 pm

    I’m kinda likin’ this… Think about the possibilities over the holidays… Crack an incisor on some peanut brittle? Yank out a molar gnawing a peppermint stick? Bust a tooth on Aunt Edna’s fruit cake? Just reach down to your handy “toof” necklace and pop in a “new” one… Your grill is as good as new and none of those pesky trips to the dentist to interfere with your busy holiday schedule… Bonus! You can press the damaged tooth back into the wax as a keepsake… Brilliant… Just…

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  50. pleasedontpickme
    December 21, 2009 at 7:46 pm

    this is perfect. Much cheaper than that root canal and new crown I need to get tomorrow. I hope she offers overnight shipping.

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  51. mamaslittlemonkeys
    December 21, 2009 at 7:50 pm

    Ya know, for 45 freaking bucks I wouldnt emphasis the AS IS and I MERELY crap. At least PRETEND You put a little effort in it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  52. knitwithknives
    December 21, 2009 at 8:02 pm

    I am gagging at this.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  53. everydaymama1
    December 21, 2009 at 8:08 pm

    OMG! These are some seriously nasty teeth! Stained with God-knows-what… Ewww!! Could she not have washed them in bleach first? GAG!!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  54. NinjaGato
    December 21, 2009 at 8:17 pm

    #45 starrydreams :
    #4- Hey Helen- can you put this in a room?

    I envision it on the little KKK girl with the birthday cake

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  55. sudabaki
    December 21, 2009 at 8:25 pm

    It’s not a KKK birthday cake but it amuses me.

    http://i925.photobucket.com/albums/ad96/sudabaki/dentist_teeth.jpg

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  56. Night Cowl
    December 21, 2009 at 8:29 pm

    Looks like something a tooth faerie would wear.

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

  57. lilprincess
    December 21, 2009 at 8:29 pm

    What qualifies them as lovely? Fake tartar?

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  58. imgsrc
    December 21, 2009 at 8:31 pm

    My friends have REALLY low standards apparently.

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  59. steviesegel
    December 21, 2009 at 8:59 pm

    eeew.
    Just….eeew.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  60. whyohwhy
    December 21, 2009 at 10:09 pm

    Oh my… I’ve been sick all week and now I think I’m sicker.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  61. Skully
    December 21, 2009 at 10:26 pm

    Incisors, bicuspids,
    I’m really disgusted!
    Dentures aren’t a girl’s best friend!

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  62. aminyitray
    December 21, 2009 at 10:29 pm

    LOL! I’m glad you’re enjoying my necklace. I’ve sold 9 of them already! XO

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  63. Monstrosa
    December 21, 2009 at 10:50 pm

    #62 aminyitray :
    Whoa! 9? Not bad! How’s the wax hold up? There’s been some concern…

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  64. Thistle
    December 21, 2009 at 10:52 pm

    behold the power of regretsy :)

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  65. aminyitray
    December 21, 2009 at 10:53 pm

    So far, so good, as far as I know. No complaints so far. They’ve been on TV, too. A woman who was being interviewed by CNN about steampunk fashion was wearing one.

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  66. NinjaGato
    December 21, 2009 at 11:18 pm

    thanks for having a good sense of humor aminyitray!

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  67. aminyitray
    December 21, 2009 at 11:23 pm

    No sweat. I get a kick out of Regretsy, so I don’t mind. Plus there’s no such thing as bad publicity, right? XO

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

  68. lyontamer
    December 22, 2009 at 12:11 am

    23: No, because they were never actually used in anyone’s dentures. They’re a dentist’s old stock.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  69. nitebyrd
    December 22, 2009 at 4:02 am

    Add a diamond grill and I’d so buy it!

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  70. whatsupnow
    December 22, 2009 at 4:36 am

    Lawks, I have a set of false teeth just like that – seriously – except I haven’t gummed them up with shitty glue and hung them from a necklace. I just keep them as an Interesting Thing.

    Why would anyone wear this monstrosity?

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  71. lemonicicle
    December 22, 2009 at 5:34 am

    seriously Ninja (#12), you are my hero.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  72. turtlegirl76
    December 22, 2009 at 5:44 am

    #15 – No day is complete until you have teeth in your cleavage.

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  73. whimsiclefuckery
    December 22, 2009 at 5:45 am

    I know where they got those teeth:

    http://tinyurl.com/yajvlpv

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  74. popodog
    December 22, 2009 at 7:22 am

    Endorsed by Lil’ Wayne.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  75. ThisJustMakesMeSad
    December 22, 2009 at 7:38 am

    Rob the jewelry store and tell them to make me a grill…

    Open up ya mouth, smile for me daddy, I wanna see your grill.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  76. babalu
    December 22, 2009 at 8:17 am

    OMG I had just taken a bite of breakfast when I saw this….when will I learn not to look at Regretsy while eating???!!! AAACCCKKK!! This is revolting! Holy fuck.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  77. AMSE
    December 22, 2009 at 10:05 am

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -3

  78. IscreamUscream
    December 22, 2009 at 1:36 pm

    Cool when the artist drops by and takes these comments in stride. Overall, I like the quirky subjects in aminyitray’s work. Set more permanently, these falsies might evade casual scrutiny, and slowly make their impression on the viewer over time. I can imagine a scene in a haughty French restaurant, where the waiter finally grasps what the guest is wearing.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  79. CrimsonHoohah
    December 22, 2009 at 3:16 pm

    I’m going to tell my sister about this. Both her boys play hockey sooner or later one of them is gonna need this necklace.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  80. Monstera_deliciosa
    December 22, 2009 at 5:05 pm

    The perfect bling for Mike Tyson.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  81. whimsy
    December 23, 2009 at 8:31 am

    between this and the jane seymour loch ness monster diamond collection, i’d probably take this. and now i need to go spend a little time thinking about what that says about me…

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  82. I-of-the-beholder
    December 24, 2009 at 8:50 pm

    I wear this along with my “really fun” Nazi Luftschutz hat on days when I need to get out of jury duty.

    http://www.regretsy.com/2009/12/19/lolocaust/

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  83. Elia
    May 13, 2011 at 1:27 pm

    I have only 1 little thing to say:

    “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!”……

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  84. Elia
    May 13, 2011 at 2:05 pm

    Uh.. Thank you so much for rinforcing the teeth so we won’t lose any. I was so worried about losing ANY..

    Thanks agin from all of us. Now we can sleep well..

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

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