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The Regretsy Advent Calendar 12/17

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88 comments on The Regretsy Advent Calendar 12/17

  1. Megan8607
    December 17, 2009 at 10:10 am

    Oh great. I’ll add this to my decorative bottle collection that look like penises.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  2. Dynomoose
    December 17, 2009 at 10:12 am

    I’m pretty sure that the point of crappy kid garbage are is supposed to be that your kid made it. Not that it’s crappy and you get to give a stranger $5 for it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  3. Monstrosa
    December 17, 2009 at 10:13 am

    The perfect hostess gift? Or a very festive bludgeon?

    Thumb up Thumb down +42

  4. curlytopnola
    December 17, 2009 at 10:21 am

    doesn’t anybody try anymore? i’m all for cutting down on the commercialism of christmas, and the best gifts come from the heart, and yadda yadda yadda. but jeez. where’s the pride & workmanship? maybe i’m just cynical today or wearing the cranky pants or whatever, but this is just…*sigh* this artist spent more time & effort on picking out the candy ribbon frame AROUND this garbage than she did on the actual “art”

    Thumb up Thumb down +48

  5. razberries
    December 17, 2009 at 10:21 am

    they look like crazy barbershop poles…check out this NON-philanthropic listing and description…at least if you are gonna hawk breast cancer awareness stuff, allow SOME of the proceeds/percentage to go to charity (just sayin’)

    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=36263102

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  6. Orlana
    December 17, 2009 at 10:23 am

    Wow, I know little kids who can paint straighter lines than that.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  7. Monstrosa
    December 17, 2009 at 10:25 am

    #4 razberries : Oh wow! She put a ribbon on a ribbon – for $7 And it can be shorter depending how tight you tie it. Perfect for people who are suffering and/or dead.

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

  8. martini
    December 17, 2009 at 10:26 am

    Thank god there are only seven days left…

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  9. smurfy12b
    December 17, 2009 at 10:26 am

    The rest of her work is quite ‘charming’ as well…

    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=32462412

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  10. razberries
    December 17, 2009 at 10:26 am

    and looksie at the corset stuff…

    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=25538242

    I am no seamstress/tailor, but shouldn’t there be grommets (sp?) or *something* around all the hand-cut holes so they don’t fray when washing?

    Thumb up Thumb down +33

  11. razberries
    December 17, 2009 at 10:29 am

    #7 Monstrosa- don’t worry though, b/c she made sure to take the pin off the back ;-)
    so basically all she did was take an old rusty pin that was falling apart, yanked off the backing and put a ribbon on it. And she didn’t even finish the ends of the ribbon…nice.
    I think her boyfriend has something going there with the monster masks though, LOL. Maybe he should open his own shop.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  12. Skully
    December 17, 2009 at 10:29 am

    Reading the artist’s fascinating, step-by-step analysis of her creative process, I feel as if I am in her studio, watching in awe as a master artisan creates another shimsical masterpiece, (SEVERAL coats of white paint? Wow! That shows real dedication to your art!). However, one unanswered question remains (and continues to haunt me): Who drank the Mountain Dew?

    Thumb up Thumb down +50

  13. Saraf
    December 17, 2009 at 10:31 am

    Anyone see this and think that there’s more than a possibility that it’s of a real skull? Hope it’s not from the last guy who criticized her ornaments…

    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=32462412

    ps – it totally creeps me out

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  14. Monstrosa
    December 17, 2009 at 10:32 am
  15. methuselah
    December 17, 2009 at 10:34 am

    I think I know why she wants to be tied up.

    “Stop me before I craft again.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  16. scarlettsiren
    December 17, 2009 at 10:34 am

    The depth and variety of her work astounds me. Oh to have ribbon tying and Mountain Dew bottle painting skills such as those. Truly it brings a tear to the eye.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  17. Saraf
    December 17, 2009 at 10:34 am

    #10 raz – the corsets are “pre-worn and pre-washed”. She went to all the trouble to through her ratty old tank top in the washer before she sold it to you, now you want gromets too? Next you’ll want it to be a new tank top or something…

    Thumb up Thumb down +33

  18. Redshirt Knitting
    December 17, 2009 at 10:35 am

    I’m stuck on her description of it as having been a Mountain Dew bottle. I mean, we’re all agreed that this is a beer bottle, right?

    Thumb up Thumb down +34

  19. methuselah
    December 17, 2009 at 10:36 am

    These bottles were featured in the holiday TV special, “A Recessionomics Christmas: Tammi Lynn’s Down-Home Country Crapfest.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +29

  20. TooManyCookbooks
    December 17, 2009 at 10:37 am

    And here I was, worried about my items not being good enough for the show I’m doing this weekend. No matter if they aren’t absolutely perfect, they’re far, far better-made than those!

    Of course, after one more session of using Krylon indoors (cold outside!) who knows what fume-induced beauties I’ll be tempted to create from paint and stuff I found in the neighbour’s recycling bin.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  21. razberries
    December 17, 2009 at 10:37 am

    #15 YES! hahaha- right on!

    I am sorry I keep on ranking on this poor soul, but here is another craptacular listing…

    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=24058878

    An old used Bath and Body Works small hand lotion bottle painted with crap on it…I sure hope that “magical potion” really works!

    PS- Skully, you are mentioned in her listing, aren’t you honored?

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  22. Orlana
    December 17, 2009 at 10:37 am

    #10 razberries, I’m pretty sure those shirts are all knits so fraying isn’t much of an issue but it doesn’t stop it from being lazy and amateurish. You’ll have more of an issue with the knits pulling and the holes becoming large-and-unseenly-er.

    I used to do this to my clothes all the time. When I was 10. There’s a difference between deconstruction and lazy. This is clearly a case of the lazies.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  23. Monstrosa
    December 17, 2009 at 10:37 am

    #18 methuselah : I’m tivoing that!

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  24. Skully
    December 17, 2009 at 10:46 am

    @#20 RB: Yes, I’m quite honored to be associated with that crap factory.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  25. ThisJustMakesMeSad
    December 17, 2009 at 10:48 am

    It’s so nice to see Etsy does not discriminate against third-graders who have high hopes of running their own shops.

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

  26. DucksNew
    December 17, 2009 at 10:48 am

    There needs to be a “Shop Hall of Fame” here on Regretsy. The best (worst?) of the worst. I nominate this shop.

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  27. LuciaMorris
    December 17, 2009 at 10:52 am

    @ #10…Oh sure, but it’s easier this way!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  28. milkshakesthecat
    December 17, 2009 at 10:54 am

    Mountain Dew bottles? Hell no, this could only come from the hands of a Natty Ice drinker.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  29. ThisJustMakesMeSad
    December 17, 2009 at 10:55 am

    Kudos to the individual responsible for the creation of the word: shimsical

    It really seems to be catching on. You should copyright it, then sell it on Etsy. You know, for accurate tagging.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  30. Efit
    December 17, 2009 at 10:56 am

    Oh goodie! Look at what my 10yo nephew made for me at camp. Cuuuuute – thanks, doll!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  31. Efit
    December 17, 2009 at 10:57 am

    btw – The candy cane border around the fuzzy photos doesn’t make up for the fact that these Mountain Dew (omg seriosuly?) bottles are a complete piece of shit.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  32. whoanellee
    December 17, 2009 at 10:59 am

    My only complaint about some of these sellers is that they just don’t describe the artistic process enough. I like to know a little something about the items I am buying, you know?

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  33. Efit
    December 17, 2009 at 11:00 am

    HOLY. SHIT.

    She also sells banners and fliers and menus, oh my.

    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=19260082

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  34. Tabbie
    December 17, 2009 at 11:01 am

    I found this mountain dew bottle at a yard sale for a dime. I took it home and painted it white while watching “Yo Gabba Gabba”, after that “Rudolph” came on so I put red stripes on it, like a candy cane. I am so brilliant. It looked too plain so I put words on it and then painted a tree like thing and a ball that resembles an ornament. I did this all while smoking a cigarette and changing my baby’s diaper. God bless us, everyone!

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  35. underemployed
    December 17, 2009 at 11:03 am

    What a waste of several bottles of perfectly good Wite-Out. Then again, perhaps the fumes were a necessary part of the creative process?

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

  36. hat-rack
    December 17, 2009 at 11:03 am

    Dare I say, spin the bottle!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  37. Tabbie
    December 17, 2009 at 11:05 am
  38. Efit
    December 17, 2009 at 11:08 am
  39. underemployed
    December 17, 2009 at 11:11 am

    I love her repeated assurances not to “worry,” that she has “removed the pin from the back.” Wow, that inspires such confidence in the overall lack of tetanus among her wares.

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  40. Not Me
    December 17, 2009 at 11:11 am

    Those “corsets” are atrocious – almost worse than the painted beer bottles.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  41. IscreamUscream
    December 17, 2009 at 11:12 am

    #17 “I mean, we’re all agreed that this is a beer bottle, right?”
    Haha—the artist should’ve done the candy-striping before drinking a few.
    That border really drives the point home–and the Sharpie is the final nail in this kitsch coffin.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  42. TheOldGuy
    December 17, 2009 at 11:20 am

    Comparitively, a great relief to see this level of crafting.

    Comparative, that is, to a furry popinjay sporting a raccoon whanger.

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  43. whitebelt
    December 17, 2009 at 11:26 am

    I keep hesitating on selling my jewelry stuffz on Etsy. But this!

    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=32399278

    Thanks for the description between a round bead and a non-round bead. =/

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  44. Not Me
    December 17, 2009 at 11:31 am

    Is anyone else creeped out by the fact that some of the items are displayed on what appear to be “trash treasure” dummies in a slightly scummy bathroom?

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  45. Ghost Righter
    December 17, 2009 at 11:36 am

    This is the perfect gift for someone who has it all. It will let them know how much you resent them for it!

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  46. Patty has been abuducted by an alien
    December 17, 2009 at 11:42 am

    “Mountain Dew is the best drink ever!”

    My mother-in-law used to do crafting stuff as a hobby. She did holiday ornaments and wedding stuff. She used to put a lace trim on everything. She used to raid yard sales for junk to slap glitter on and throw some beads together.

    I tell ya, she was decades ahead of her time! I should tell her about etsy so she can make some money.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  47. ahutchins27
    December 17, 2009 at 11:47 am

    i’m not sure why you guys are picking on this poor artisan so badly. i mean…she can’t be meticulous and perfect at EVERYTHING. when you have such a huge repertoire of artistic offerings, you’re bound to have to take a few shortcuts here and there just to get it all done.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  48. pleasedontpickme
    December 17, 2009 at 11:50 am
  49. Skully
    December 17, 2009 at 11:53 am

    Another fine product (notice the model flipping us the bird):
    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=33079849
    “You can also unscrew the top if you wish to put something in it.”
    I have an idea, how about we fill that piece of shit with rocks and chuck it into the Green Sea.

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  50. Megan8607
    December 17, 2009 at 11:58 am

    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=25782322

    Please. Someone let this person know that in the word family, the ILY does NOT stand for I love you.

    Also, please tell her to put the foam and rave beads away.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  51. Megan8607
    December 17, 2009 at 12:03 pm

    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=24233701

    She filled it with her “Love Potion”…

    and then glued the lid on.

    And then she painted the bottle.

    And wrote in sharpie on the front of it.

    And then tied a ribbon to it.

    And then put stickers on it.

    And it will bring you LOVE.

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

  52. sillymerricat
    December 17, 2009 at 12:09 pm

    I think some etsy rules are being violated in this shop. There is no way this person is over the age of 18.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  53. IscreamUscream
    December 17, 2009 at 12:12 pm

    #49 “Another fine product (notice the model flipping us the bird)”, or in the artist’s own words: “This is in a shape of a light bulb”.

    Oof, let’s just say it—it’s a burned-out oven light with a bad paint job.

    “she can’t be meticulous and perfect at EVERYTHING.”

    You’re right—I wouldn’t mistake this for a Russian lacquer box, hand-painted by genuinely struggling artisans. No doubt, she’s working up to that level of craftsmanship.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  54. personalearthquake
    December 17, 2009 at 12:19 pm

    this seller sucks…that’s all I got. no wit. just truth.

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  55. sudabaki
    December 17, 2009 at 12:26 pm

    #51 Megan8607:

    “http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=24233701
    She filled it with her “Love Potion”…
    And it will bring you LOVE.”

    If I close my eyes I can perfectly picture the true love I would find….excuse me while I go file a restraining order.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  56. Wednesday
    December 17, 2009 at 12:40 pm

    Who knew that glitter and water would bring you TRUE LOVE? It must be true, it’s written in Sharpie.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  57. polaroidart
    December 17, 2009 at 12:49 pm

    What’s the fuck going on with in that crappy shop?
    Is she 22 going on 2?
    Girl, you CAN’T pain, recycle the damn
    beer bottles! wow..seriously, Etsy turned into
    a garage sale.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  58. Megan8607
    December 17, 2009 at 12:49 pm

    #55: Like you can get away from her love potion…

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  59. polaroidart
    December 17, 2009 at 12:50 pm

    Jesus..this should read- WTF is going on in that
    crappy shop?

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  60. Skully
    December 17, 2009 at 12:52 pm

    Love the descriptions:
    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=32355599
    “I had to mix colors to get the bright orange (I didn’t have orage)”
    How long do you think it took her to figure out that red + yellow = orange?

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  61. polaroidart
    December 17, 2009 at 12:54 pm

    Forgive my typos, I have a splitting headache and
    the stupid Tiger news are pissing me off.
    pain=PAINT

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  62. Saraf
    December 17, 2009 at 12:56 pm

    This year we made Christmas decorations out of foamy snowflakes and glitter glue with my 2-yr old and his 4-yr old friend. I’m seriously considering putting them on etsy now – they were way better than this crap.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  63. Dawgtowner
    December 17, 2009 at 12:57 pm

    ….”I guess creepy Bruncle Tommy’s leftover Thanksgiving beer bottles are finally coming in handy… Maybe I should paint them, like Aunty Mom said…”

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  64. Anastasia
    December 17, 2009 at 12:58 pm

    Holy shitsticks, people! She’s having a WINTERSALE! I’m practically giddy to see her SPRINGSALE!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  65. HelenaHandbasket
    December 17, 2009 at 1:13 pm

    Absolutely the ONLY THING reasonable about this listing is the shipping charge. Then again, maybe you wouldn’t care so much if all she did was wad it up in a WalMart bag, duct tape it, sharpie your address onto one side, affix stamps all over it, and then the Post Office smashed it to smithereens.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  66. BettyMachete
    December 17, 2009 at 1:51 pm

    Question: Do you trust this “artist” with your financial information to purchase this crap?

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  67. whimsiclefuckery
    December 17, 2009 at 2:37 pm

    Helen, the holidays can be depressing enough without such sadness. Can’t you find someone who paints a Dom Perignon bottle pink with glitter? Or guilds a joint with gold leaf?

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  68. m_kitty
    December 17, 2009 at 2:52 pm

    why!!! Why would anyone make this? and WHY would anyone BUY this!?

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  69. YippySkippy
    December 17, 2009 at 3:33 pm

    From the seller’s shop:

    Please look around and heart me and BUY :)

    Sorry, I’ve been stricken with a severe case of dry heaves after seeing what HAS to be the most crap-filled shop EVER on Etsy or all of AL Gore’s whole freakin’ Internet! I feel violated to have even seen photos of this shit.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  70. Recovering Crack Baby
    December 17, 2009 at 3:57 pm

    I see that she wallpapers as well as she crafts.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  71. WhimsyMistress
    December 17, 2009 at 4:16 pm

    ” #66 BettyMachete :

    Question: Do you trust this “artist” with your financial information to purchase this crap? ”

    Actually, that is kinda what I was thinking, Betty. These are SO poorly done, and yet the prices are SO cheap, they probably don’t cover the cost of her materials (much less her time, such as it was). I am starting to wonder if this isn’t just some sort of scam to get people’s credit card numbers, and use them to finance her meth habit.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  72. quantuminsanity
    December 17, 2009 at 4:38 pm

    All I can say is “buy WHY?”…

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  73. quantuminsanity
    December 17, 2009 at 4:39 pm

    dammit… “But Why”

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  74. saucerville
    December 17, 2009 at 6:55 pm

    Okay, a lot of what we see on this site is poorly crafted, and a great majority is just misguided. But something like this irks me. I mean, I brought stuff like this home from elementary school and my mother refused to display it. Who is giving this person enough positive reinforcement to encourage this whimsical fuckery?

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  75. aroseisarose
    December 17, 2009 at 8:01 pm

    Oh, Man, I’ve been up for 18 hours. After seeing this, it’s time for bed!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  76. oh_no
    December 17, 2009 at 8:36 pm

    Ah, but have we overlooked the brilliance that is this rusted tin can with glitter and a ribbon glued to it?
    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=24319852

    It is described as “perfect for a girl or adult.”

    Based on its size, I’m willing to bet that it once held sardines and still smells like it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  77. m_kitty
    December 17, 2009 at 8:41 pm

    in regards to the financial robbery theories: she accept paypal, and paypal does not reveal any financial information to the seller.

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

  78. sbarnes2
    December 17, 2009 at 9:09 pm

    This trash is nobody’s treasure.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  79. IscreamUscream
    December 17, 2009 at 9:15 pm

    #76 oh_no: that matches the dimensions of an Altoid’s tin, lol.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  80. Night Cowl
    December 17, 2009 at 9:31 pm

    I am embarrassed for this person since she doesn’t have the common sense to be embarrassed for herself. I can’t imagine anyone telling this person she has an iota of crafting talent and encouraging her to sell this crap anywhere. I dare Etsy to put any one of these items on the front page.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  81. ciaohowdy
    December 17, 2009 at 10:12 pm

    Oh, I dunno, I could see this as the perfect little Christmas tree topper: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=32462412

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  82. saucerville
    December 17, 2009 at 10:48 pm

    I second the dare, or ‘double-dare’ if you will.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  83. saucerville
    December 17, 2009 at 10:56 pm

    JUST NOTICED–the item description says she sealed the top with liquid latex. Why would she even HAVE that? I’m not even going to ask why she chose to use it… Seriously, that’s not something you usually find mixed in with a person’s tempra paints and glitter.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  84. everydaymama1
    December 18, 2009 at 1:15 am

    The point of recycling or upcycling things is that it LOOKS BETTER, people will LIKE the item and hopefully BUY it. Not to make more garbage with it. Do people not get that part?

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  85. whynot
    December 18, 2009 at 2:22 am

    My favorite part of the “Menus and Flyers” listing is that she left in the red/green underlines from MS Word’s spelling/grammar check in the third picture. PROFESSIONAL.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  86. Monstrosa
    December 18, 2009 at 9:35 am

    #43 whitebelt :
    “I keep hesitating on selling my jewelry stuffz on Etsy. But this!”

    Do not hesitate. You never know when ridicule and scorn may bring you success.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  87. jamie
    December 18, 2009 at 10:04 am

    this
    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=32462412

    just made me spit on my screen. lol.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  88. IscreamUscream
    December 18, 2009 at 10:56 am

    “The point of recycling or upcycling things is that it LOOKS BETTER”
    There is a lot of clutter I would prefer to recycle than upcycle to permanent resident status.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

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