47

The 5th Night


Click on the menorah for your 5th Hanukkah present.

By the way, your cousin is doing very well. Maybe you should think about selling insurance.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

47 comments on The 5th Night

  1. Dynomoose
    December 15, 2009 at 3:52 pm

    Pardon my cultural ignorance, but what in high stink fuck is humentsh?

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  2. catniplover
    December 15, 2009 at 3:54 pm

    yummy cookies that are eaten at Purim!

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  3. itsnotatumor
    December 15, 2009 at 3:55 pm

    i was thinking my judaical collection was a little sparse

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  4. NinjaGato
    December 15, 2009 at 3:55 pm

    yeah I don’t get it either

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  5. lyontamer
    December 15, 2009 at 3:56 pm

    “Hamentashen” are a type of pastry treat. They’re pretty good.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  6. everydaymama1
    December 15, 2009 at 3:56 pm

    Does one really want realistic looking cookie magnets on the fridge when little kids are around? I can sense a trip to the ER in the future.

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

  7. Lennymud
    December 15, 2009 at 3:56 pm

    These double as Star Trek shirt emblems for the little known Jewish Holiday: Yom Shatner.

    Thumb up Thumb down +86

  8. Dynomoose
    December 15, 2009 at 3:57 pm

    #2 catniplover :
    Thank you. I tried to google it but all that came up was the etsy listing.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  9. catniplover
    December 15, 2009 at 3:58 pm

    lol dynomoose, I think it’s horribly misspelled! And I’m not going to try to spell it correctly either ;)

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  10. quantuminsanity
    December 15, 2009 at 3:58 pm

    Perhaps she means ‘hamantash’? Hamantash is a Jewish sweet made from dough and filled with various fillings.

    If the things look so realistic they look ready to eat (which luckily they don’t) wont the kids try to eat them…?

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  11. Helen Killer
    December 15, 2009 at 3:59 pm

    The likeness is uncanny!

    Thumb up Thumb down +38

  12. Skully
    December 15, 2009 at 4:01 pm

    No, my kid will not love “this magnets,” she’ll say “You want I should choke on this? Is it too much to ask for a real cookie?”

    Thumb up Thumb down +41

  13. whoanellee
    December 15, 2009 at 4:02 pm

    Now THAT’S a vagina! (the listing, not Helen’s picture.)

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  14. catniplover
    December 15, 2009 at 4:06 pm

    Damn now I want cookies. Those cherry ones look good!

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  15. bootsychoo
    December 15, 2009 at 4:06 pm

    Yum. I wonder if it’s made from real humans…

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  16. goldyfox
    December 15, 2009 at 4:20 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -37

  17. HermesGoddess
    December 15, 2009 at 4:21 pm

    Even my 18 month old babies would know those magnets are not hamantashen! They’d take one look at that mess, and give me the full “whatchoo talkin bout willis?” face. And then probably launch into a detailed analysis of the difference between ART and CRAFT.
    (What can I say, they’re geniuses. And yes, I’m a Jewish mother, so not biased AT ALL.)

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  18. hat-rack
    December 15, 2009 at 4:22 pm

    If triangles had a god it would have three sides!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  19. methuselah
    December 15, 2009 at 4:26 pm

    Pffft. My gay friends already wear these.

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

  20. hammerhead77
    December 15, 2009 at 4:31 pm

    Hey, has anyone mentioned the candle thing yet? The candles on the menorah are backwards. They should be lit from right to left…

    :D

    (Shhhhh. If you listen closely, I think you can hear the half Jew admin grinding her teeth and going to get the weapon of her choice.)

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  21. Scarlett Pencil.Point
    December 15, 2009 at 4:33 pm

    @goldyfox and hammerhead: you’re just looking at it from the wrong side.

    I’m less concerned about the seller’s misspelling of hamantash than I am about her habitual confusion of “your” and “you.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  22. Dynomoose
    December 15, 2009 at 4:36 pm

    #11 Helen Killer :
    Oh THOSE look tasty. The things in the listing look like dried out modeling clay and cheap paint.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  23. NinjaGato
    December 15, 2009 at 4:37 pm

    They look like triangular boobs

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  24. Recovering Crack Baby
    December 15, 2009 at 4:40 pm

    I’m converting- all we get at our Church is a whole bunch of jello with different colors and objects in them.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  25. krystyna81
    December 15, 2009 at 4:43 pm

    The shop is from Brooklyn. They should be on Etsy’s FP in 3….2…1….

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  26. HelenaHandbasket
    December 15, 2009 at 4:46 pm

    Since we’re all into suspending reality here, can I pretend they’re toast tips with caviar?

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  27. lilprincess
    December 15, 2009 at 5:14 pm

    #7 – That made me laugh so hard I just peed a little. Exactly when is that holiday so I can make sure I celebrate.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  28. fluffysue
    December 15, 2009 at 5:29 pm

    I’m not Jewish, but even I know it’s not time for Purim now. And I have the feeling the kids would *not* like to receive magnets that (almost sort of) look like pastry, instead of the actual food. What is a kid going to do with a magnet?

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  29. NinjaGato
    December 15, 2009 at 5:32 pm

    #25 I’ve noticed that too. Although I’d heavily feature people from my hometown too.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  30. razberries
    December 15, 2009 at 6:09 pm

    poor inksun, only 1 sale, and only 2 people that heart him (her?)

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  31. hammerhead77
    December 15, 2009 at 7:04 pm

    (Pssst, #21 Scarlett Pencil Point – I know! I’m being a pain in the tukus. I was expecting, and half hoping to get a big STFU from the half Jew admin. I guess she’s too busy shaving her legs because Al Green is in town.)

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  32. somethinghomemade
    December 15, 2009 at 7:41 pm

    I think I love the “Jewish mom sayings” even more than the (so called) craft items that Helen features.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  33. hammerhead77
    December 15, 2009 at 8:09 pm

    #32 – Me too! I “hear” them all being read by Linda Richman of Coffee Talk. It’s like buttah.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  34. WhimsyMistress
    December 15, 2009 at 8:32 pm

    OMG Hammerhead, ME TOO! I can almost hear her wrist bangles jangling now….”talk amongst yourselves”….

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  35. whatchootalkinboutwillis
    December 15, 2009 at 9:29 pm

    @ #12 and #17: I would have to wonder WTF at my mom if she tried giving me this listing instead of the the real thing like that deliciousness in Helen K’s pic! Ugh!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  36. PinkBunnies
    December 15, 2009 at 9:42 pm

    So now there’s vagina cookies? The french have Pets De Soeurs cookies, which means Nun’s Farts. And I thought THAT was bad, until I saw these cookies!

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

  37. Bronc Drywall
    December 15, 2009 at 11:54 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -9

  38. snarkeygirl
    December 16, 2009 at 12:23 am

    #7 Yom Shatner! ! ! ! OMG, that is the best! Does that fall in the middle of Hanukkah?

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  39. Kameko Hamato
    December 16, 2009 at 2:20 am

    #6 everydaymama1 : I remember being fascinated by cookie magnets as a kid–I most clearly remember a magnet we had as a kid, I think it was a Girl Scouts Tagalong. Pretty sure I never tried to eat it. Then again I was a pretty bright kid.

    I miss that magnet.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  40. CreepyLittleGirl
    December 16, 2009 at 7:49 am

    How do you know she’s not standing on the other side of the menorah? Maybe we’re the ones who are backwards!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  41. babalu
    December 16, 2009 at 8:14 am

    I thought they were Hanukkah vagoos…

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  42. kaygigi
    December 16, 2009 at 9:30 am

    #20 – regarding the candles. While yes, when you are placing them in the menorah, you place them right to left (and then when actually lighting them, you light them left to right, but we don’t see that part of the action), but when you are displaying a lit menorah, it flips around. Basically you light it from behind, but the viewer would obviously have the reseversed perspective. Traditionally you put the lit menorah in a window – this is us looking in a window on the menorah.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  43. HermesGoddess
    December 16, 2009 at 12:48 pm

    BTW–little bit of trivia here: Linda Richman is not just a character made up by Mike Myers. She is his real life MOTHER IN LAW (well, ex now since he got a divorce)! No kidding. And guess what? She’s Exactly. Like. That. In. Person.

    I know this because my own now dearly departed MIL was good friends with her. And was also exactly like that.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  44. pdrunk
    December 16, 2009 at 2:17 pm

    Because what kids want during Hanukkah are magnets. Why not just tell them they’re too fat to get real cookies and give them 10 free sessions with their psychiatrist instead?

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  45. aroseisarose
    December 16, 2009 at 6:23 pm

    The Menorah is backwards. (Etc.) She went over that…

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  46. Jaime
    December 16, 2009 at 9:54 pm

    This noticing that Hamentaschen looks like a vag is not new…
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcB68AtrmZM

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  47. Say What
    December 20, 2009 at 10:46 am

    OMG OMG OMG That is sooooooooooooo going on my Facebook page!!!!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

Leave a Reply