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The 3rd Night


Click on the menorah for your third Hanukkah present.

And put a sweater on, or you’ll catch a cold.

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42 comments on The 3rd Night

  1. Dynomoose
    December 13, 2009 at 2:53 pm

    There’s an artist sticking to the spirit of the festival of lights!

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  2. HelenaHandbasket
    December 13, 2009 at 2:55 pm

    It’s $430, but, of course, who pays retail?

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

  3. TooManyCookbooks
    December 13, 2009 at 2:59 pm

    Perfect for the holiday! Why, you’ll hardly be able to hear Aunt Millie berate you for the umpteenth billion time about how you quit dating that med student over how LOUD those colours are — supper will be saved!

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  4. sudabaki
    December 13, 2009 at 3:02 pm
  5. Orlana
    December 13, 2009 at 3:06 pm

    I’m not Jewish so this may come off a little dumb, but that tall shoe on the end, shouldn’t it be in the center? Every menorah I’ve seen always has the highest candle in the center of the piece.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  6. NinjaGato
    December 13, 2009 at 3:12 pm

    It bothers me when sellers refer to themselves in the third person.

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  7. lucyneckface
    December 13, 2009 at 3:19 pm

    when you construct it out of flamboyant clay shoes of unevenly distributed height, doesn’t it kind of cease to be a menorah and become simply a crappy candle holder that holds 9?

    Thumb up Thumb down +29

  8. Skully
    December 13, 2009 at 3:20 pm

    What $430, just go to the corner of Pico and Santee, ask for Stanley, tell him Skully sent you, he’ll take care of you.

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  9. methuselah
    December 13, 2009 at 3:22 pm

    I’m sure I saw this in a Lillian Vernon catalog. And for lots less.

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  10. polaroidart
    December 13, 2009 at 3:41 pm

    Are you going to “thumb down” me into oblivion if I say
    that I LOVE this? I love shoes and this is so freaking
    awesome. It’s not cheap..but if I could afford I would
    buy it. The artist is very talented.

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

  11. hammerhead77
    December 13, 2009 at 3:57 pm

    polaroidart, I agree with ya. If I were young, hip, Jewish, and had $430 to drop on a trendy menorah this would rock.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  12. razberries
    December 13, 2009 at 4:05 pm

    i’m sure this would make sarah jessica parker just a bit verklempt

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  13. flare
    December 13, 2009 at 4:22 pm

    … for the discerning, modern Jew with a foot fetish

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  14. bootsychoo
    December 13, 2009 at 4:27 pm

    Sure, it’s nice, but $430!!! Oy vey, too rich for this shiksa.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  15. polaroidart
    December 13, 2009 at 4:35 pm

    #11 hammerhead77 :

    polaroidart, I agree with ya. If I were young, hip, Jewish, and had $430 to drop on a trendy menorah this would rock.

    I’m glad you agree with me, hammerhead! I really really like her sculptures.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  16. Booya
    December 13, 2009 at 4:36 pm

    Shouldn’t the big shoe at least be put in the middle? sheesh!

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

  17. HermesGoddess
    December 13, 2009 at 4:40 pm

    Actually, I LOVE this. Obviously I’m the Jappy type though. Exhibit A: my username.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  18. Street Corner Hooker
    December 13, 2009 at 4:44 pm

    It’d be cheaper to go out and buy nine shoes, drill holes in the heels, and hot glue them to a piece of wood. It’d probably look nicer, too. Those colors are just tacky as fuck.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  19. Lennymud
    December 13, 2009 at 4:49 pm

    But when they saw the army coming to meet them, they said unto Judah: ‘What? shall we be able, being a small company, to fight against so great and strong a multitude? …’ And Judah said:”Fear Not, Macabees. For one day they shall sing our praises and make homage unto us with brightly colored shoes.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +38

  20. regretsian
    December 13, 2009 at 4:59 pm

    I love Skully cuz he’s got the hookup!

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  21. hammerhead77
    December 13, 2009 at 5:08 pm

    The tacky as fuck aspect is part of the charm.

    Hermes – question – regarding “Jap”, I worked for some women who threw that term around all the time with each other. I asked about it & they told me what it meant but also said that I should never ever use it. Is “Jap” kind of like a slur that has been reclaimed or can be used by Jews in the company of others?

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  22. MajorDanger
    December 13, 2009 at 5:11 pm

    Nothing says “Happy Chanukah” like a Hooker-Heel Menorah.

    (PS–the only rule regarding the Shamash, or the servant candle, is that it’s obviously set apart from the rest of the candles–either shorter or taller in height. Doesn’t matter where it’s placed relative to order. In this case, it has that splendidly whorish Mary Jane to sit in!)

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

  23. Skully
    December 13, 2009 at 5:12 pm

    @#20: Enough with the love already, you want I should be in trouble with the Mrs.?

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  24. hat-rack
    December 13, 2009 at 5:44 pm

    When I got to shoe number 7… well…

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  25. Sandra D
    December 13, 2009 at 6:46 pm

    I’m not jewish so the possibility of this being sacreligious doesn’t matter to me, I just have a total addiction to tacky ceramic shoes, so I MUST have this.

    Oh and is it evil that I think we should all give the luvvins on Skully just for the purpose of getting him in trouble with the missus?

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  26. Sandra D
    December 13, 2009 at 6:47 pm

    Whoa, $900 for a woman with bad skin and square boobs??

    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=14834561

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  27. regretsian
    December 13, 2009 at 6:48 pm

    It’s all love Skully! I’ll love the misses too if she can get me a good hookup:)

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  28. NinjaGato
    December 13, 2009 at 7:08 pm
  29. Orlana
    December 13, 2009 at 7:08 pm

    #22 MajorDanger, Thanks for the explanation. Much appreciated. =3

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  30. aishatonu
    December 13, 2009 at 7:49 pm

    I guess you use one of these if you’re Shoe-ish.

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  31. Dynomoose
    December 13, 2009 at 8:46 pm

    #28 NinjaGato : holy mother of fuck, it’s Rosie O’Donnell having an orgasm! http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=31524616

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  32. Dynomoose
    December 13, 2009 at 8:48 pm

    #26 Sandra D: Who broke that woman’s neck??? That’s not a woman relaxing, it’s a god damn crime scene sculpture!
    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=14834561

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  33. NinjaGato
    December 14, 2009 at 12:15 am

    Dynomoose- not to mention that the gal on the couch seems to be using her own boobs as a pillow

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  34. whatsupnow
    December 14, 2009 at 1:13 am

    #6 ninjagato – you sure this is the artist in 3rd person? I’m a ceramicist snd I would never use angobes over engobes, and surely the work would be fired rather than burnt?
    Either the seller hasn’t a clue what they are actually selling or they have a bad case of babelfish…

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  35. Sandra D
    December 14, 2009 at 5:31 am

    #31 Dynomoose that was NOT an image I ever wanted in my head! Quick, someone pass the brain bleach!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  36. HermesGoddess
    December 14, 2009 at 6:06 am

    #21, That’s a good question. Calling a girl Jappy where I’m from (New York) isn’t considered a slur so much as slightly sarcastic/mildly derogatory/occasionally complimentary. If you call a Jewish person the K-word, for instance, yeah–that’s bad in ANY context. But Jappy? It’s practically a badge of honor in the city or on Long Island or Scarsdale. Loads of Jewish American Princesses in this area.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  37. vangoghbabe
    December 14, 2009 at 6:14 am

    Shalom..
    If the shoe fits.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  38. Rebekka
    December 14, 2009 at 12:08 pm

    The shamash, the candle with which you light all the other candles on the menorah, doesn’t have to be in the middle, I’ve seen it on the end on several different menorahs. Also, the candles are supposed to be lit from right to left, not left to right.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  39. heatherf
    December 14, 2009 at 2:36 pm

    #38 I posted the same thing yesterday, about the candles being on the wrong side. Apparently they don’t care. Even though the admin is half Jewish.

    Thumb up Thumb down -2

  40. Helen Killer
    December 14, 2009 at 3:21 pm

    THE HALF JEW ADMIN DOESN’T CARE ABOUT JEW THINGS OMG

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  41. Street Corner Hooker
    December 16, 2009 at 1:18 am

    But it’s not fun tacky, it’s “I have a lot of left over snot green glaze” tacky.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  42. Say What
    December 20, 2009 at 12:18 pm

    I’m not ashamed to say that I’m a JAP and love the Menorah (technically they’re called Chanukiahs – Menorahs have seven branches). I wouldn’t use it for the actual candle-lighting, but it would look nice on a shelf with unlit candles in it. You can’t go wrong with SHOESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

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