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Initial Disappointment

Posted by Helen Killer

89 comments

One earring is an “E” for “Execrable’, and one is a “J” for ‘Jesus fucking Christ on a cracker, you have got to be shitting me.”

Filed in Jewelry, Twilight 89 comments

89 Comments

Add Comment

Dec 11, 2009
11:27 am

#1 HelenaHandbasket :

Dear Santa: For my Christmas wish, please have these be constructed of fuse wick, and blow the wearer’s head off, Warner Bros-style.

Rate this comment: +81

Dec 11, 2009
11:28 am

#2 syd_bristow :

filed under fuckery

Rate this comment: +28

Dec 11, 2009
11:28 am

#3 DucksNew :

When paper clips get tangled, stick an earring hook on them and sell on Etsy

Rate this comment: +73

Dec 11, 2009
11:28 am

#4 Not Me :

Eugh! Junk!

Rate this comment: +12

Dec 11, 2009
11:32 am

#5 sudabaki :

That looks like the wire that secures toys to the cardboard packaging. I didn’t think I could hate that stuff more than when I’m trying to liberate a Barbie. This crap takes my animosity to a new level.

Rate this comment: +93

Dec 11, 2009
11:33 am

#6 Chase Ryan :

“Materials: wire, reading all the twilight books”

I’m working on a pair of these as we speak. They’re made out of wire too – barbed wire. It may hurt to wear them, but the blood that comes out of those cuts will attract the vampire/werewolf of your dreams, making it all better. xoxo

Rate this comment: +140

Dec 11, 2009
11:34 am

#7 getsy :

An ‘E’ and a ‘J’? And I thought seller here made some kind of cleverly constructed figures using a heavily tormented paper clip.

Rate this comment: +23

Dec 11, 2009
11:37 am

#8 Rowan :

Wow truly craptacular. Needs a paperclip necklace to complete the look.

Rate this comment: +29

Dec 11, 2009
11:39 am

#9 Skully :

What font is that? Comic Sans Talent?

Rate this comment: +228

Dec 11, 2009
11:40 am

#10 Recovering Crack Baby :

Does the pubic hair on the piano key come with or is it just there to enhance the spectacular paper clips to hang upon your ear or nose or wherever the fuck kids who watch Edward are hanging their shit?

Rate this comment: +60

Dec 11, 2009
11:40 am

#11 martini :

Tetanus booster not included…

Rate this comment: +48

Dec 11, 2009
11:40 am

#12 Calophi :

Wrapped earrings: I do not think it means what this seller thinks it means. -_-

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=36436514

Rate this comment: +22

Dec 11, 2009
11:41 am

#13 lemonicicle :

This will be the “must have” gift item for all creepy over 40 Twilight Moms next season…

Rate this comment: +16

Dec 11, 2009
11:42 am

#14 NYCrochet :

Don’t miss the John Lennon ones! They say “real love!” Or so she says. I suspect they really say “ow, stop stabbing me with paper clip!”

http://ny-image2.etsy.com//il_fullxfull.108996822.jpg

Rate this comment: +17

Dec 11, 2009
11:43 am

#15 turtlegirl76 :

You know, I made plenty of that stuff when I tried wire jewelry making. Boy did I suck at that.

Rate this comment: +11

Dec 11, 2009
11:45 am

#16 HermesGoddess :

They should just stop with the bullshit and title every one of their listings: “Garbage!”.

Rate this comment: +3

Dec 11, 2009
11:48 am

#17 flare :

I like to think that those stunning E J earrings were photographed on the actual piano that Edward composed on with his actual schlong. I mean that pube is all the proof i need.

Rate this comment: +37

Dec 11, 2009
11:50 am

#18 bootsychoo :

If you’re gonna use your piano keys as a backdrop, you could at least clean off the DNA. *shudder*

Rate this comment: +39

Dec 11, 2009
11:52 am

#19 bootsychoo :

WOW #10 RCB & #16 flare:
We had some sort of Vulcan mind-meld going on…

Rate this comment: +6

Dec 11, 2009
11:54 am

#20 babalu :

Aside from the sheer craptastic fuckery of these earrings, the filth factor of those piano keys is an affront to everyone who plays the piano. Or who actually just lives….

Rate this comment: +22

Dec 11, 2009
11:54 am

#21 Recovering Crack Baby :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -16

Dec 11, 2009
11:55 am

#22 tdro :

“One earring is an E for Edward, and the other is J for Jacob.”

Good that this appears in the listing. Not sure I would have figured that out from the picture!

Rate this comment: +35

Dec 11, 2009
11:56 am

#23 Recovering Crack Baby :

#18 we were all thinking like us

Rate this comment: +2

Dec 11, 2009
11:57 am

#24 Skully :

“Materials: wire, reading all the twilight books,” at least this “artist” read the books, unlike that lazy bitch who made the Lady Chatterly’s Lover top.

Rate this comment: +48

Dec 11, 2009
11:59 am

#25 hammerhead77 :

Note that this is yet another seller from Oregon.

I guess Mendocino County is getting over-crowded. The woodland fairies appear to be moving their center of operations to the north.

Rate this comment: +30

Dec 11, 2009
12:00 pm

#26 curlytopnola :

ok ma’am, hand over the pliers and step away from the piano. we’re charging you for cruelty to office supplies and for assault on the senses, common and otherwise.

Rate this comment: +46

Dec 11, 2009
12:02 pm

#27 strawberrylumps :

If I just make shit out of all my wire hangers to sell on etsy, I can afford Christmas for my babies!

Rate this comment: +24

Dec 11, 2009
12:08 pm

#28 Monstrosa :

Well, she’s better at wrapping wire than I am, but that’s why I don’t wrap wire.

I mean, come on, I make a lot of stuff that doesn’t work out. That’s why I have a scrap box and a trash can.

Rate this comment: +24

Dec 11, 2009
12:08 pm

#29 Danorz :

i see things like this and sometimes i want to take my jeweller’s bench and all my torches and hammers and files and drills and throw them all out of a window and then follow them

Rate this comment: +34

Dec 11, 2009
12:10 pm

#30 Patty has been abuducted by an alien :

I bought a jewelry repair kit a few years ago and it included several types of wire for different types of jewelry in need of repair.

And here I thought that the wire was for putting beads or some other decoration on. I had no clue I could twist the wire up in an old tape deck, slap a dangle hook on it and sell it!

I know what my kids are doing on their Christmas break! “No, hearts, twisted with wire! Its VALENTINE’S FUCKERY! Just make ‘em and I’ll loosen the shackles!”

Rate this comment: +15

Dec 11, 2009
12:11 pm

#31 Monstrosa :

#28 Danorz : Maybe you should become a brain surgeon. You have all those tools.

Rate this comment: +14

Dec 11, 2009
12:18 pm

#32 FoldingMetalChairs :

Just what the fuckola?

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=36440876

Rate this comment: +11

Dec 11, 2009
12:24 pm

#33 methuselah :

I am SO gonna buy these for E.J. Dionne! They’re perfect for him, amirite?

…You know, E.J. Dionne of the Washington Post? …Senior Fellow at Brookings Institution? …Shows up on NPR and MSNBC a lot? Okay, now I see some heads nodding! You were just having me on with those blank looks, weren’t ya.

I watch too much politics. Please shoot me.

Rate this comment: +22

Dec 11, 2009
12:24 pm

#34 Tabbie :

This bitch totally raided my trash bin at work from last Tuesday.
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=36438816
She’s also got a very imaginative eye to assume anyone would get “real love” out of that.

Rate this comment: +17

Dec 11, 2009
12:31 pm

#35 Recovering Crack Baby :

I have been looking for the perfect fishing lure- one that will win me the GOLD at the tournament…..
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=36436193

Rate this comment: +11

Dec 11, 2009
12:33 pm

#36 Skully :

@#32 Methusela: LMAO!!!!!!!!! Can you imagine him on Countdown wearing those earrings?

Rate this comment: +10

Dec 11, 2009
12:55 pm

#37 methuselah :

@#35 Skully: Olbermann wouldn’t know whether to put him on the Best Persons or Worst Persons list.

Rate this comment: +8

Dec 11, 2009
1:04 pm

#38 i am bean :

ahhhhh…the sheer raw talent coming out of Etsy these days astonishes me.

Rate this comment: +13

Dec 11, 2009
1:13 pm

#39 marn :

just because you CAN make something out of wire, doesn’t mean you SHOULD make something out of wire.

Rate this comment: +19

Dec 11, 2009
1:16 pm

#40 nitebyrd :

If the creator is over 9 years old then I believe they should not be allowed to touch any more craft supplies.

Rate this comment: +31

Dec 11, 2009
1:24 pm

#41 chookiechick :

I think this might have to be the most craptastic thing I have ever seen!

Rate this comment: +15

Dec 11, 2009
1:27 pm

#42 bloodorange :

Paper clips that you accidentally sucked up into your vacuum cleaner, ripped from the jaws of the beater bar and attached hooks to are not jewelry.

Rate this comment: +27

Dec 11, 2009
1:29 pm

#43 ThisJustMakesMeSad :

Wow, just… wow.

Rate this comment: 0

Dec 11, 2009
1:30 pm

#44 Skully :

I hope she didn’t pull the legs off a giant caterpillar to make these.

Rate this comment: +32

Dec 11, 2009
1:39 pm

#45 huh :

I thought with the piano and everything, it stood for “Elton John”. Really I did. Does a piano have anything to do with Twilight? Just curious.

Rate this comment: +34

Dec 11, 2009
1:39 pm

#46 Night Cowl :

As a wire artist, I am appalled that anyone would have the audacity to try and sell something this terrible. If she had any sense of pride in a job well done, she’d delete every single item in this shop and try and sell something she is good at, has practiced and perfected techniques for and not something so incredibly embarrassing and obviously something she just picked up recently.

Rate this comment: +30

Dec 11, 2009
1:41 pm

#47 step away from the jewelry supplies :

Good wire wrapped jewelry: http://sylva.deviantart.com/art/Copper-Wire-Wrapped-Bracelet-80813812

What the little bits of wire that get left in the bottom of my jewelry supply box for a few months look like: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=36436514

See the difference? I feel like this seller needs a cease and desist order from the jewelry police.

Rate this comment: +28

Dec 11, 2009
1:43 pm

#48 Megan8607 :

Do I need to take a concealed weapons class to wear these?

Rate this comment: +6

Dec 11, 2009
1:46 pm

#49 Megan8607 :

I think this is one of those “Find the image” games-only the “Image” is a questionable hair:

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=36438338

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=36285636

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=36285285

Maybe originating from here?:

http://www.regretsy.com/2009/12/11/initial-disappointment/comment-page-1/#comment-16138

Rate this comment: +6

Dec 11, 2009
1:48 pm

#50 addiosix :

These will look fantastic at the end of the day, what with your hair tangled up in the wires and such.

Rate this comment: +30

Dec 11, 2009
2:08 pm

#51 whitebelt :

i can only hear one word in my head while looking at these.

fuuuuuuuckkkkkkk

Rate this comment: +6

Dec 11, 2009
2:11 pm

#52 Patty has been abuducted by an alien :

I absolutely had to share this picture. I picked up my kids from school and my 16 YO daughter said, “Look what Stefan made for me in metal arts class!” & showed me the earrings I’ve posted below. Stefan will be 17 years old next month. I whipped out my mobile phone, brought up Regretsy & showed them the “EJ” crap. (I repeat- 17 years old!)

http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b80/psexypsychic/MORE%20miscellaneous%20stuff/CEEJearrings.jpg

Rate this comment: +35

Dec 11, 2009
2:20 pm

#53 vangoghbabe :

This reminds me of the time when I was young and full of curiousity. Those little metal needle threaders. An occasional paperclip(the super sized ones) and once, even a butter knife.

Electrical sockets….making life just a little more intersting.
(Just don’t stand near the Christmas tree.)

Rate this comment: +11

Dec 11, 2009
2:23 pm

#54 quantuminsanity :

I’ve made wire wrapped jewellery, and this is not what it’s meant to look like….
And even if it was, it would still be an “E” and a “J” hanging from your ears…

Rate this comment: +12

Dec 11, 2009
2:26 pm

#55 quantuminsanity :

#52 those are cute

Rate this comment: +7

Dec 11, 2009
2:34 pm

#56 IndyJules :

E is for Edward
J is for Jacob
C is for Crap

Rate this comment: +22

Dec 11, 2009
2:35 pm

#57 HermesGoddess :

#49, Megan….Oh God, seriously, with the hairs in every picture. I’m getting queasy. REALLY queasy.

Rate this comment: +14

Dec 11, 2009
2:41 pm

#58 Efit :

@#11 martini and #39 nitebyrd – You bitches stole my thunder. For once, I read all the comments before posting my “first thoughts” and here they are:

“Does this shit come with a tetanus shot?”

“I forgive this seller if she’s in fourth grade, ’cause that’s the kind of shit I made at summer camp, too.”

Bitches.

Rate this comment: +18

Dec 11, 2009
2:43 pm

#59 IscreamUscream :

#44 lmao…poetic justice.

I’m seeing an awkward scene at the airport…
Bailing wire setting off metal detectors, followed by an uncomfortable inspection–to make sure the wiring doesn’t lead to charges hidden behind the ears. Passing through the x-ray, a tray of crumpled wiring reaches the end of the conveyor. Under the cautious gaze of travelers, will anybody claim it?

Rate this comment: +7

Dec 11, 2009
2:43 pm

#60 Moons in Leo :

I hope she’s a better musician than a jewelery designer, although probably not.
Perhaps she’s a burned out orthodontist who kept all the old braces for when she retired and had time on her hands.

Rate this comment: +11

Dec 11, 2009
2:47 pm

#61 marimoy :

this is an insult to real wire-wrap artists… and Twilight fans, not that I give a rat’s ass about them. But still. Just cruel.

Rate this comment: +15

Dec 11, 2009
2:57 pm

#62 polaroidart :

“I drink many cups of tea while creating my designs”
…

Tea?!? Really!? Or is it loads of cheap vodka?
I don’t like to call things “ugly” usually,
I really don’t. But it’s passed constructive criticism.
These are UGLY. Ugly, ugly, ugly, ugly!

Rate this comment: +20

Dec 11, 2009
3:09 pm

#63 WhimsyMistress :

1. The copper wire-wrapped bracelet shown in the link at #47 is gorgeous.
2. #52 (PAtty) Stefan is a talented kid; those are cuuute.
3. I don’t get it – what’s up with the (filthy) piano-key backdrop on all these? Does she not own one single sheet of plain white paper to sit them on for photos?

Rate this comment: +16

Dec 11, 2009
3:13 pm

#64 starrydreams :

How long is it going to take before someone buys them do you think? Should we start a pool?

Rate this comment: +9

Dec 11, 2009
3:27 pm

#65 everydaymama1 :

These not only are an offence for talented wire wrap artists, but for ANY serious crafter! She has perverted the term handmade. OMG! Someone needs to tell her how much she SUCKS at this, and to move on to something she can actually do, if there is anything.

Rate this comment: +6

Dec 11, 2009
3:30 pm

#66 BettyMachete :

Good idea to sell these online, they don’t have them at Piercing Pagoda.

Rate this comment: +11

Dec 11, 2009
3:32 pm

#67 MajorDanger :

I smell a tweaker.

Rate this comment: +13

Dec 11, 2009
3:38 pm

#68 polaroidart :

Can someone tell me what THIS is?
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=36441563

The seller doesn’t even know. She doesn’t!

Rate this comment: +7

Dec 11, 2009
3:45 pm

#69 kittenmittens :

Maybe if she made them with her tongue – you know – like tying up a cherry stem.
They would still be ugly, but at least it would be somewhat of an accomplishment.
Kind of.

Rate this comment: +15

Dec 11, 2009
3:47 pm

#70 Feel Free To Customise and Whimsiclise My Vagina :

Its so nice how its photographed on the dirty piano.

Rate this comment: +6

Dec 11, 2009
3:49 pm

#71 sillystuff :

You can check my feedback at ebay. My user name is humanhummingbird

art journals
giggles

—

Honestly, what the FUCK does that even mean? Is it a signature? some sort of calling card?

My brain cannot take shops like this, it’s bleeding, and dying.

Oh, wait, there’s some cozy pads for that in another shop…

Rate this comment: +11

Dec 11, 2009
3:59 pm

#72 Sushisimo :

I’d prefer clip-ons.

Rate this comment: +10

Dec 11, 2009
4:04 pm

#73 slappyknuckles :

at first i thought these were IUD’s made by a 3rd grader

Rate this comment: +30

Dec 11, 2009
4:15 pm

#74 Jea :

Someone needs to make a twilight vagina out of driftwood.

Rate this comment: +21

Dec 11, 2009
5:09 pm

#75 Bronc Drywall :

At least we know that Twilight doesn’t stifle one’s imagination and creativity.

Rate this comment: +14

Dec 11, 2009
7:50 pm

#76 razberries :

NO MORE WIRE HANGERS…
EVERRRR!!!!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/26599183@N08/2489016857/

Rate this comment: +6

Dec 11, 2009
11:12 pm

#77 Recovering Crack Baby :

#76 Bah ahahahahaaaaaaaaaa….
I am convinced with all the pubic hair on the Piano that:
A) She creates these earrings while naked
B) She is really talented and can play piano with her ass
C) These were photographed at the Strip Club after her gig on top of an innocent piano that never asked for that

Rate this comment: +16

Dec 12, 2009
2:18 am

#78 istillheartbretmichaels :

Looking at the deeper meaning, the artist continues to emphasize the “chastity” theme that Twilight arguably invokes. These handcrafted wire-hanger earrings whisper “ABORTION” as a consequence to me.

Yet another subtle puritanical message brought to you from the purveyors of Twilight memorabilia.

Rate this comment: +14

Dec 12, 2009
3:53 am

#79 mannequinreject :

Don’t ever quit your day job, if you have one.

…and for the love of God stay out of Michaels and AC Moore!

Rate this comment: 0

Dec 12, 2009
5:13 am

#80 moi :

come on people…at least try.

I hate when people on the forums that do the SMH or SMDH acronym, but dang it…I’m shaking my damn head here!

Rate this comment: 0

Dec 12, 2009
5:52 am

#81 BettyMachete :

Perfect for double bellybutton piercings. E and J hanging over my Gloria Vanderbilt jeans, sweet! Young fellas will know this is serious Cougar territory.

Rate this comment: +10

Dec 12, 2009
6:15 am

#82 mstiefan :

I swear to God, if she sells these craptacular atrocities, I’m going to plunge my chain-nose pliers into my chest, slash my wrists with my slant-cut wire nippers, and die a spectacular death on the floor of my jewelry studio, cursing this “artist” with my last breath.

Cripes, I need to stay away from this place.

Rate this comment: +18

Dec 12, 2009
11:56 am

#83 Monstrosa :

#82 mstiefan :
Now that’s art, that death.

Interesting how these wire thing inspire such despair. Yes, I feel it too. We all do.

Rate this comment: +8

Dec 13, 2009
2:03 pm

#84 Randy Lahey :

I have my own earrings, because, I don’t like if purchase something, I do not like to get something used…

Rate this comment: +6

Dec 13, 2009
2:58 pm

#85 dangerousmezzo :

This is the dark side of Etsy — by encouraging everyone to make and sell crafts, Etsy has ensured that EVERYONE is now making and selling crafts.

Even stoned, talentless “crafty kitty mommies” (whatever the hell that means).

Rate this comment: +13

Dec 14, 2009
10:15 pm

#86 knitwithknives :

there’s an “ejaculate” joke in there somewhere.

Rate this comment: +5

Dec 16, 2009
1:03 am

#87 cptfknvicious :

one earring is an E (that would be the one on the left), and one earring is a J (that would be the one NOT on the left). i will soon be returning with more upcycled wire-hanger art jewelry, but first i have to take a kindergarten alphabet class.

Rate this comment: +3

Dec 18, 2009
6:27 pm

#88 bananabread :

I bet SOMEONE will buy it…after all, it’s Twilight related.

Rate this comment: +1

Jan 11, 2010
6:31 pm

#89 emilyhighfash :

Do I get the dirty piano keys as a part of my purchase?

I want the E-minor key to match my letter E earring for Edward Cullen <3<3<333333<3<#33loveeeee

Rate this comment: +1