91

Initial Disappointment

One earring is an “E” for “Execrable’, and one is a “J” for ‘Jesus fucking Christ on a cracker, you have got to be shitting me.”

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

91 comments on Initial Disappointment

  1. HelenaHandbasket
    December 11, 2009 at 11:27 am

    Dear Santa: For my Christmas wish, please have these be constructed of fuse wick, and blow the wearer’s head off, Warner Bros-style.

    Thumb up Thumb down +85

  2. syd_bristow
    December 11, 2009 at 11:28 am

    filed under fuckery

    Thumb up Thumb down +30

  3. DucksNew
    December 11, 2009 at 11:28 am

    When paper clips get tangled, stick an earring hook on them and sell on Etsy

    Thumb up Thumb down +79

  4. Not Me
    December 11, 2009 at 11:28 am

    Eugh! Junk!

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  5. sudabaki
    December 11, 2009 at 11:32 am

    That looks like the wire that secures toys to the cardboard packaging. I didn’t think I could hate that stuff more than when I’m trying to liberate a Barbie. This crap takes my animosity to a new level.

    Thumb up Thumb down +102

  6. Chase Ryan
    December 11, 2009 at 11:33 am

    “Materials: wire, reading all the twilight books”

    I’m working on a pair of these as we speak. They’re made out of wire too – barbed wire. It may hurt to wear them, but the blood that comes out of those cuts will attract the vampire/werewolf of your dreams, making it all better. xoxo

    Thumb up Thumb down +148

  7. getsy
    December 11, 2009 at 11:34 am

    An ‘E’ and a ‘J’? And I thought seller here made some kind of cleverly constructed figures using a heavily tormented paper clip.

    Thumb up Thumb down +24

  8. Rowan
    December 11, 2009 at 11:37 am

    Wow truly craptacular. Needs a paperclip necklace to complete the look.

    Thumb up Thumb down +30

  9. Skully
    December 11, 2009 at 11:39 am

    What font is that? Comic Sans Talent?

    Thumb up Thumb down +243

  10. Recovering Crack Baby
    December 11, 2009 at 11:40 am

    Does the pubic hair on the piano key come with or is it just there to enhance the spectacular paper clips to hang upon your ear or nose or wherever the fuck kids who watch Edward are hanging their shit?

    Thumb up Thumb down +64

  11. martini
    December 11, 2009 at 11:40 am

    Tetanus booster not included…

    Thumb up Thumb down +51

  12. Calophi
    December 11, 2009 at 11:40 am

    Wrapped earrings: I do not think it means what this seller thinks it means. -_-

    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=36436514

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

  13. lemonicicle
    December 11, 2009 at 11:41 am

    This will be the “must have” gift item for all creepy over 40 Twilight Moms next season…

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  14. NYCrochet
    December 11, 2009 at 11:42 am

    Don’t miss the John Lennon ones! They say “real love!” Or so she says. I suspect they really say “ow, stop stabbing me with paper clip!”

    http://ny-image2.etsy.com//il_fullxfull.108996822.jpg

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  15. turtlegirl76
    December 11, 2009 at 11:43 am

    You know, I made plenty of that stuff when I tried wire jewelry making. Boy did I suck at that.

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  16. HermesGoddess
    December 11, 2009 at 11:45 am

    They should just stop with the bullshit and title every one of their listings: “Garbage!”.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  17. flare
    December 11, 2009 at 11:48 am

    I like to think that those stunning E J earrings were photographed on the actual piano that Edward composed on with his actual schlong. I mean that pube is all the proof i need.

    Thumb up Thumb down +40

  18. bootsychoo
    December 11, 2009 at 11:50 am

    If you’re gonna use your piano keys as a backdrop, you could at least clean off the DNA. *shudder*

    Thumb up Thumb down +40

  19. bootsychoo
    December 11, 2009 at 11:52 am

    WOW #10 RCB & #16 flare:
    We had some sort of Vulcan mind-meld going on…

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  20. babalu
    December 11, 2009 at 11:54 am

    Aside from the sheer craptastic fuckery of these earrings, the filth factor of those piano keys is an affront to everyone who plays the piano. Or who actually just lives….

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

  21. Recovering Crack Baby
    December 11, 2009 at 11:54 am

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -17

  22. tdro
    December 11, 2009 at 11:55 am

    “One earring is an E for Edward, and the other is J for Jacob.”

    Good that this appears in the listing. Not sure I would have figured that out from the picture!

    Thumb up Thumb down +37

  23. Recovering Crack Baby
    December 11, 2009 at 11:56 am

    #18 we were all thinking like us

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  24. Skully
    December 11, 2009 at 11:57 am

    “Materials: wire, reading all the twilight books,” at least this “artist” read the books, unlike that lazy bitch who made the Lady Chatterly’s Lover top.

    Thumb up Thumb down +50

  25. hammerhead77
    December 11, 2009 at 11:59 am

    Note that this is yet another seller from Oregon.

    I guess Mendocino County is getting over-crowded. The woodland fairies appear to be moving their center of operations to the north.

    Thumb up Thumb down +31

  26. curlytopnola
    December 11, 2009 at 12:00 pm

    ok ma’am, hand over the pliers and step away from the piano. we’re charging you for cruelty to office supplies and for assault on the senses, common and otherwise.

    Thumb up Thumb down +48

  27. strawberrylumps
    December 11, 2009 at 12:02 pm

    If I just make shit out of all my wire hangers to sell on etsy, I can afford Christmas for my babies!

    Thumb up Thumb down +26

  28. Monstrosa
    December 11, 2009 at 12:08 pm

    Well, she’s better at wrapping wire than I am, but that’s why I don’t wrap wire.

    I mean, come on, I make a lot of stuff that doesn’t work out. That’s why I have a scrap box and a trash can.

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

  29. Danorz
    December 11, 2009 at 12:08 pm

    i see things like this and sometimes i want to take my jeweller’s bench and all my torches and hammers and files and drills and throw them all out of a window and then follow them

    Thumb up Thumb down +37

  30. Patty has been abuducted by an alien
    December 11, 2009 at 12:10 pm

    I bought a jewelry repair kit a few years ago and it included several types of wire for different types of jewelry in need of repair.

    And here I thought that the wire was for putting beads or some other decoration on. I had no clue I could twist the wire up in an old tape deck, slap a dangle hook on it and sell it!

    I know what my kids are doing on their Christmas break! “No, hearts, twisted with wire! Its VALENTINE’S FUCKERY! Just make ‘em and I’ll loosen the shackles!”

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  31. Monstrosa
    December 11, 2009 at 12:11 pm

    #28 Danorz : Maybe you should become a brain surgeon. You have all those tools.

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  32. FoldingMetalChairs
    December 11, 2009 at 12:18 pm
  33. methuselah
    December 11, 2009 at 12:24 pm

    I am SO gonna buy these for E.J. Dionne! They’re perfect for him, amirite?

    …You know, E.J. Dionne of the Washington Post? …Senior Fellow at Brookings Institution? …Shows up on NPR and MSNBC a lot? Okay, now I see some heads nodding! You were just having me on with those blank looks, weren’t ya.

    I watch too much politics. Please shoot me.

    Thumb up Thumb down +24

  34. Tabbie
    December 11, 2009 at 12:24 pm

    This bitch totally raided my trash bin at work from last Tuesday.
    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=36438816
    She’s also got a very imaginative eye to assume anyone would get “real love” out of that.

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  35. Recovering Crack Baby
    December 11, 2009 at 12:31 pm

    I have been looking for the perfect fishing lure- one that will win me the GOLD at the tournament…..
    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=36436193

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  36. Skully
    December 11, 2009 at 12:33 pm

    @#32 Methusela: LMAO!!!!!!!!! Can you imagine him on Countdown wearing those earrings?

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  37. methuselah
    December 11, 2009 at 12:55 pm

    @#35 Skully: Olbermann wouldn’t know whether to put him on the Best Persons or Worst Persons list. :D

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  38. i am bean
    December 11, 2009 at 1:04 pm

    ahhhhh…the sheer raw talent coming out of Etsy these days astonishes me.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  39. marn
    December 11, 2009 at 1:13 pm

    just because you CAN make something out of wire, doesn’t mean you SHOULD make something out of wire.

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  40. nitebyrd
    December 11, 2009 at 1:16 pm

    If the creator is over 9 years old then I believe they should not be allowed to touch any more craft supplies.

    Thumb up Thumb down +33

  41. chookiechick
    December 11, 2009 at 1:24 pm

    I think this might have to be the most craptastic thing I have ever seen!

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  42. bloodorange
    December 11, 2009 at 1:27 pm

    Paper clips that you accidentally sucked up into your vacuum cleaner, ripped from the jaws of the beater bar and attached hooks to are not jewelry.

    Thumb up Thumb down +28

  43. ThisJustMakesMeSad
    December 11, 2009 at 1:29 pm

    Wow, just… wow.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  44. Skully
    December 11, 2009 at 1:30 pm

    I hope she didn’t pull the legs off a giant caterpillar to make these.

    Thumb up Thumb down +33

  45. huh
    December 11, 2009 at 1:39 pm

    I thought with the piano and everything, it stood for “Elton John”. Really I did. Does a piano have anything to do with Twilight? Just curious.

    Thumb up Thumb down +35

  46. Night Cowl
    December 11, 2009 at 1:39 pm

    As a wire artist, I am appalled that anyone would have the audacity to try and sell something this terrible. If she had any sense of pride in a job well done, she’d delete every single item in this shop and try and sell something she is good at, has practiced and perfected techniques for and not something so incredibly embarrassing and obviously something she just picked up recently.

    Thumb up Thumb down +31

  47. step away from the jewelry supplies
    December 11, 2009 at 1:41 pm

    Good wire wrapped jewelry: http://sylva.deviantart.com/art/Copper-Wire-Wrapped-Bracelet-80813812

    What the little bits of wire that get left in the bottom of my jewelry supply box for a few months look like: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=36436514

    See the difference? I feel like this seller needs a cease and desist order from the jewelry police.

    Thumb up Thumb down +30

  48. Megan8607
    December 11, 2009 at 1:43 pm

    Do I need to take a concealed weapons class to wear these?

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  49. addiosix
    December 11, 2009 at 1:48 pm

    These will look fantastic at the end of the day, what with your hair tangled up in the wires and such.

    Thumb up Thumb down +31

  50. whitebelt
    December 11, 2009 at 2:08 pm

    i can only hear one word in my head while looking at these.

    fuuuuuuuckkkkkkk

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  51. Patty has been abuducted by an alien
    December 11, 2009 at 2:11 pm

    I absolutely had to share this picture. I picked up my kids from school and my 16 YO daughter said, “Look what Stefan made for me in metal arts class!” & showed me the earrings I’ve posted below. Stefan will be 17 years old next month. I whipped out my mobile phone, brought up Regretsy & showed them the “EJ” crap. (I repeat- 17 years old!)

    http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b80/psexypsychic/MORE%20miscellaneous%20stuff/CEEJearrings.jpg

    Thumb up Thumb down +37

  52. vangoghbabe
    December 11, 2009 at 2:20 pm

    This reminds me of the time when I was young and full of curiousity. Those little metal needle threaders. An occasional paperclip(the super sized ones) and once, even a butter knife.

    Electrical sockets….making life just a little more intersting.
    (Just don’t stand near the Christmas tree.)

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  53. quantuminsanity
    December 11, 2009 at 2:23 pm

    I’ve made wire wrapped jewellery, and this is not what it’s meant to look like….
    And even if it was, it would still be an “E” and a “J” hanging from your ears…

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  54. quantuminsanity
    December 11, 2009 at 2:26 pm

    #52 those are cute

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  55. IndyJules
    December 11, 2009 at 2:34 pm

    E is for Edward
    J is for Jacob
    C is for Crap

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

  56. HermesGoddess
    December 11, 2009 at 2:35 pm

    #49, Megan….Oh God, seriously, with the hairs in every picture. I’m getting queasy. REALLY queasy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  57. Efit
    December 11, 2009 at 2:41 pm

    @#11 martini and #39 nitebyrd – You bitches stole my thunder. For once, I read all the comments before posting my “first thoughts” and here they are:

    “Does this shit come with a tetanus shot?”

    “I forgive this seller if she’s in fourth grade, ’cause that’s the kind of shit I made at summer camp, too.”

    Bitches.

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  58. IscreamUscream
    December 11, 2009 at 2:43 pm

    #44 lmao…poetic justice.

    I’m seeing an awkward scene at the airport…
    Bailing wire setting off metal detectors, followed by an uncomfortable inspection–to make sure the wiring doesn’t lead to charges hidden behind the ears. Passing through the x-ray, a tray of crumpled wiring reaches the end of the conveyor. Under the cautious gaze of travelers, will anybody claim it?

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  59. Moons in Leo
    December 11, 2009 at 2:43 pm

    I hope she’s a better musician than a jewelery designer, although probably not.
    Perhaps she’s a burned out orthodontist who kept all the old braces for when she retired and had time on her hands.

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  60. marimoy
    December 11, 2009 at 2:47 pm

    this is an insult to real wire-wrap artists… and Twilight fans, not that I give a rat’s ass about them. But still. Just cruel.

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  61. polaroidart
    December 11, 2009 at 2:57 pm

    “I drink many cups of tea while creating my designs”

    Tea?!? Really!? Or is it loads of cheap vodka?
    I don’t like to call things “ugly” usually,
    I really don’t. But it’s passed constructive criticism.
    These are UGLY. Ugly, ugly, ugly, ugly!

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

  62. WhimsyMistress
    December 11, 2009 at 3:09 pm

    1. The copper wire-wrapped bracelet shown in the link at #47 is gorgeous.
    2. #52 (PAtty) Stefan is a talented kid; those are cuuute.
    3. I don’t get it – what’s up with the (filthy) piano-key backdrop on all these? Does she not own one single sheet of plain white paper to sit them on for photos?

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  63. starrydreams
    December 11, 2009 at 3:13 pm

    How long is it going to take before someone buys them do you think? Should we start a pool?

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  64. everydaymama1
    December 11, 2009 at 3:27 pm

    These not only are an offence for talented wire wrap artists, but for ANY serious crafter! She has perverted the term handmade. OMG! Someone needs to tell her how much she SUCKS at this, and to move on to something she can actually do, if there is anything.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  65. BettyMachete
    December 11, 2009 at 3:30 pm

    Good idea to sell these online, they don’t have them at Piercing Pagoda.

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  66. MajorDanger
    December 11, 2009 at 3:32 pm

    I smell a tweaker.

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  67. polaroidart
    December 11, 2009 at 3:38 pm

    Can someone tell me what THIS is?
    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=36441563

    The seller doesn’t even know. She doesn’t!

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  68. kittenmittens
    December 11, 2009 at 3:45 pm

    Maybe if she made them with her tongue – you know – like tying up a cherry stem.
    They would still be ugly, but at least it would be somewhat of an accomplishment.
    Kind of.

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  69. Feel Free To Customise and Whimsiclise My Vagina
    December 11, 2009 at 3:47 pm

    Its so nice how its photographed on the dirty piano.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  70. sillystuff
    December 11, 2009 at 3:49 pm

    You can check my feedback at ebay. My user name is humanhummingbird ;)
    art journals
    giggles

    Honestly, what the FUCK does that even mean? Is it a signature? some sort of calling card?

    My brain cannot take shops like this, it’s bleeding, and dying.

    Oh, wait, there’s some cozy pads for that in another shop…

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  71. Sushisimo
    December 11, 2009 at 3:59 pm

    I’d prefer clip-ons.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  72. slappyknuckles
    December 11, 2009 at 4:04 pm

    at first i thought these were IUD’s made by a 3rd grader

    Thumb up Thumb down +31

  73. Jea
    December 11, 2009 at 4:15 pm

    Someone needs to make a twilight vagina out of driftwood.

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

  74. Bronc Drywall
    December 11, 2009 at 5:09 pm

    At least we know that Twilight doesn’t stifle one’s imagination and creativity.

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  75. razberries
    December 11, 2009 at 7:50 pm

    NO MORE WIRE HANGERS…
    EVERRRR!!!!
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/26599183@N08/2489016857/

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  76. Recovering Crack Baby
    December 11, 2009 at 11:12 pm

    #76 Bah ahahahahaaaaaaaaaa….
    I am convinced with all the pubic hair on the Piano that:
    A) She creates these earrings while naked
    B) She is really talented and can play piano with her ass
    C) These were photographed at the Strip Club after her gig on top of an innocent piano that never asked for that

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  77. istillheartbretmichaels
    December 12, 2009 at 2:18 am

    Looking at the deeper meaning, the artist continues to emphasize the “chastity” theme that Twilight arguably invokes. These handcrafted wire-hanger earrings whisper “ABORTION” as a consequence to me.

    Yet another subtle puritanical message brought to you from the purveyors of Twilight memorabilia.

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  78. mannequinreject
    December 12, 2009 at 3:53 am

    Don’t ever quit your day job, if you have one.

    …and for the love of God stay out of Michaels and AC Moore!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  79. moi
    December 12, 2009 at 5:13 am

    come on people…at least try.

    I hate when people on the forums that do the SMH or SMDH acronym, but dang it…I’m shaking my damn head here!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  80. BettyMachete
    December 12, 2009 at 5:52 am

    Perfect for double bellybutton piercings. E and J hanging over my Gloria Vanderbilt jeans, sweet! Young fellas will know this is serious Cougar territory.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  81. mstiefan
    December 12, 2009 at 6:15 am

    I swear to God, if she sells these craptacular atrocities, I’m going to plunge my chain-nose pliers into my chest, slash my wrists with my slant-cut wire nippers, and die a spectacular death on the floor of my jewelry studio, cursing this “artist” with my last breath.

    Cripes, I need to stay away from this place.

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

  82. Monstrosa
    December 12, 2009 at 11:56 am

    #82 mstiefan :
    Now that’s art, that death.

    Interesting how these wire thing inspire such despair. Yes, I feel it too. We all do.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  83. Randy Lahey
    December 13, 2009 at 2:03 pm

    I have my own earrings, because, I don’t like if purchase something, I do not like to get something used…

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  84. dangerousmezzo
    December 13, 2009 at 2:58 pm

    This is the dark side of Etsy — by encouraging everyone to make and sell crafts, Etsy has ensured that EVERYONE is now making and selling crafts.

    Even stoned, talentless “crafty kitty mommies” (whatever the hell that means).

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  85. knitwithknives
    December 14, 2009 at 10:15 pm

    there’s an “ejaculate” joke in there somewhere.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  86. cptfknvicious
    December 16, 2009 at 1:03 am

    one earring is an E (that would be the one on the left), and one earring is a J (that would be the one NOT on the left). i will soon be returning with more upcycled wire-hanger art jewelry, but first i have to take a kindergarten alphabet class.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  87. bananabread
    December 18, 2009 at 6:27 pm

    I bet SOMEONE will buy it…after all, it’s Twilight related.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  88. emilyhighfash
    January 11, 2010 at 6:31 pm

    Do I get the dirty piano keys as a part of my purchase?

    I want the E-minor key to match my letter E earring for Edward Cullen <3<3<333333<3<#33loveeeee

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  89. lillianna_13
    October 13, 2010 at 2:32 pm

    So the one who buys this is going to say, ” I couldn’t decide between bestiality or necrophilia, so I choose tetanus.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  90. Elia
    May 13, 2011 at 2:19 pm

    How can you sell this shit for 6$ when a 100 pcs paper clip box costs 1$, You Bitch?!..

    ps. I will not be caught DEAD wearing this shit even if you pay me a 100$ for every single wear.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

Leave a Reply