Now, see, it looks like more work went into this, with the painting and jeans can be costly (doesn’t say what brand of jeans they are) and it’s $70 cheaper than the “I can glue skulls on used clothing” sweater. Makes no fucking sense whatsoever.
“if you wear it on the street a fight may break out or a car accident may occur…” from one of her other item descriptions, I think it would be more fitting here…
don’t know where y’all live, but here in the hot, humid south, one afternoon in mid-august would reduce these pants to copper-colored goo running from your nether regions.
and we may be country, but even here, that’s a fashion-don’t.
I hate it when I wake up after a bender and find pictures of myself on my phone, all spread-phoenixed, that I sent to some coworker who I think is cute.
God, I can just picture these pulled up to my belly button with a pink polo shirt tucked into them.
For some reason they just shout “I’M A COOL MOM” to me.
Pants: Dear God, make me a real bird. So I could fly far. Far far away from this here crotch.
On another note, I don’t know if anyone has posted about this already, but there’s a user on twitter called Whimsicle, who lists her profession as consultant. Yeah, consultant of fuckery. http://www.twitter.com/whimsicle
She at one point mentions something about Tanksgiving. Which is whimsilicious!
Where did you find jeans that had a Phoenix?
And why did you eat those refried beans?
I’m laughing so hard I need a Kleenex,
’cause you just broke wind beneath your wings.
#27:
You committed an egregious error when you failed to mention the fact that Twitter user “whimsicle” has as their profile picture an image of…wait for it….faeries (yes!) fucking.
My girlfriend wants some of these pants, but she wants a pterodactyl fighting with a triceratops, instead of a Phoenix. And she wants it on the backside.
Cheers,
MD
PS–Do you charge extra for a woman with a lot of junk?
#4 quizzicalpussy : Can’t wait to see what arises from those ashes.
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
Aren’t those girl pants? If so, I wouldn’t waste my time waiting for stuff to rise.
Recovering Crack Baby
December 10, 2009 at 8:23 pm
I am pretty sure these are for Women. Why else would it be Gold- every Women knows she is sitting on a gold mine……….no free bird here………I bet that is what the back says.
istillheartbretmichaels
December 11, 2009 at 5:16 am
i like these too. only if you cross your right leg over your left while wearing them, it will probably look like the phoenix is touching himself. or is he touching you? kinda leda-and-the-swan-ish.
Helen Killer — you slay me!
And now I will have some sort of nightmare about burning phoenix jeans and being attacked…
Why the fuck would I want to put a phoenix on my crotch? Is this supposed to be the reach-around of fire-crotch jokes or like what? Or am I being too esoteric.
That’s it, I must be over-thinking it.
December 10, 2009 at 11:16 am
Hey, your fly is down!
December 10, 2009 at 11:16 am
Ahhh yes, nothing screams haute couture like a bedazzled mythical birdcrotch.
December 10, 2009 at 11:19 am
It kind of simultaneously draws your attention to the area as it hides it.
December 10, 2009 at 11:19 am
Can’t wait to see what arises from those ashes.
December 10, 2009 at 11:21 am
I think we all can agree that the only thing better than a fire crotch is a firebird crotch.
December 10, 2009 at 11:22 am
I can’t even begin to think how stylish I would be if I paired it with this top:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=34989363
December 10, 2009 at 11:22 am
“In other news, a Bedazzle Warning as been issued in the Phoenix area, especially in the canyon.”
December 10, 2009 at 11:22 am
It looks copper pubes are exploding out of the front of your pants.
And that is a look that never goes out of style.
December 10, 2009 at 11:26 am
Is that a that Phoenix a-rising or are you just happy to see me?
December 10, 2009 at 11:26 am
hee hee my hubby took one look and said that he can make it look like the early bird caught a worm!
December 10, 2009 at 11:26 am
How did that extra “that” get in there………geesh.
December 10, 2009 at 11:28 am
Yeah, that is just the area I want people staring at! Lovely!
December 10, 2009 at 11:28 am
Now, see, it looks like more work went into this, with the painting and jeans can be costly (doesn’t say what brand of jeans they are) and it’s $70 cheaper than the “I can glue skulls on used clothing” sweater. Makes no fucking sense whatsoever.
December 10, 2009 at 11:30 am
“if you wear it on the street a fight may break out or a car accident may occur…” from one of her other item descriptions, I think it would be more fitting here…
December 10, 2009 at 11:36 am
The reason she doesn’t say what size it is is because some people’s four inches are another man’s six.
December 10, 2009 at 11:47 am
Looks like King Midas pissed himself.
December 10, 2009 at 11:49 am
don’t know where y’all live, but here in the hot, humid south, one afternoon in mid-august would reduce these pants to copper-colored goo running from your nether regions.
and we may be country, but even here, that’s a fashion-don’t.
December 10, 2009 at 12:04 pm
I hate it when I wake up after a bender and find pictures of myself on my phone, all spread-phoenixed, that I sent to some coworker who I think is cute.
December 10, 2009 at 12:04 pm
hey, is that a phoenix in your pants, or are you just….
i felt like it had to be said, yet i can’t even finish it. i’ll be sitting over in the corner for my time out now…
December 10, 2009 at 12:06 pm
LOL @ #13…here is the listing and description for those of you who wanted to know…
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=34990259
UM, i will just make a toga dress out of a bed sheet like i did in college and save 80 bucks, thanks
December 10, 2009 at 12:06 pm
I’ve always wondered what a phoenix toe would look like.
December 10, 2009 at 12:09 pm
Conversation:
Person 1: “There’s a burning sensation in my crotch when I wear these jeans… could it be the Phoenix?”
Person 2: “No, its the STD that came with the ‘recycled’ jeans.”
December 10, 2009 at 12:13 pm
God, I can just picture these pulled up to my belly button with a pink polo shirt tucked into them.
For some reason they just shout “I’M A COOL MOM” to me.
December 10, 2009 at 12:24 pm
Reminds me of the old saying, “A bird on your pants is worth two in the bush.”
December 10, 2009 at 12:30 pm
Looks like Goldfinger got all gropey on the dance floor.
December 10, 2009 at 12:42 pm
I’m not even going to say what all those little white squiggles look like…
December 10, 2009 at 12:46 pm
Pants: Dear God, make me a real bird. So I could fly far. Far far away from this here crotch.
On another note, I don’t know if anyone has posted about this already, but there’s a user on twitter called Whimsicle, who lists her profession as consultant. Yeah, consultant of fuckery.
http://www.twitter.com/whimsicle
She at one point mentions something about Tanksgiving. Which is whimsilicious!
December 10, 2009 at 12:47 pm
Cock fight, anyone?
December 10, 2009 at 12:47 pm
Nothing mixes the message quite like “loyalty” noodled on the pocket and a glittery phoenix nesting in the crotch.
December 10, 2009 at 12:54 pm
Looks like someone got hit with quite the golden shower.
December 10, 2009 at 12:55 pm
Where did you find jeans that had a Phoenix?
And why did you eat those refried beans?
I’m laughing so hard I need a Kleenex,
’cause you just broke wind beneath your wings.
December 10, 2009 at 12:57 pm
If you threw a rock at the owners crotch, would you be killing two birds with one stone?
December 10, 2009 at 1:01 pm
I hear if a redhead wears these jeans, the Phoenix will rise from the ashes caused by the firecrotch and fly off.
December 10, 2009 at 1:04 pm
Hairy Blotter and the (etsy) Order of the Phoenix
December 10, 2009 at 1:06 pm
You are suppose to wear these when your laying your eggs. Men look for fertility signs like this in Women.
December 10, 2009 at 1:09 pm
#31 Skully…… everytime the wind beneath my wings escapes out the front I shall remember your poem.
December 10, 2009 at 1:25 pm
If you forget to zip the fly you get the Winged Serpent.
December 10, 2009 at 1:36 pm
I looked at her other items and I almost had a relapse…. I use to sniff glitter glue.
December 10, 2009 at 2:16 pm
Hey everybody check out my cameltoe! There’s a phoenix on my cameltoe!
December 10, 2009 at 2:38 pm
#27:
You committed an egregious error when you failed to mention the fact that Twitter user “whimsicle” has as their profile picture an image of…wait for it….faeries (yes!) fucking.
December 10, 2009 at 2:55 pm
Oh, how I wish there was a pic of these on a model.
December 10, 2009 at 3:19 pm
Pheonix becomes 3-D when worn…balls not included.
December 10, 2009 at 3:26 pm
(cont. from #41) just tuck nuts to the left…
December 10, 2009 at 3:27 pm
oops…typo…that was cont. from #42…how do u delete comments?
December 10, 2009 at 3:56 pm
Dear Imraan,
My girlfriend wants some of these pants, but she wants a pterodactyl fighting with a triceratops, instead of a Phoenix. And she wants it on the backside.
Cheers,
MD
PS–Do you charge extra for a woman with a lot of junk?
December 10, 2009 at 4:03 pm
@#44 OM: I wish we could delete our comments, I’d love to remove my “fly is down” joke. (I’m LOL @ 42-43 BTW.)
December 10, 2009 at 4:05 pm
New meaning for firecrotch?
December 10, 2009 at 4:12 pm
“Wanna come over to my place and pet my phoenix?”
December 10, 2009 at 5:42 pm
#4 quizzicalpussy : Can’t wait to see what arises from those ashes.
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
Aren’t those girl pants? If so, I wouldn’t waste my time waiting for stuff to rise.
December 10, 2009 at 6:49 pm
they should really outlaw puffy paint…some people r dangerous w/ that shit
December 10, 2009 at 7:10 pm
A relation between two legend that will fail for sure: The Phoenix and the Burning bush.
December 10, 2009 at 8:23 pm
I am pretty sure these are for Women. Why else would it be Gold- every Women knows she is sitting on a gold mine……….no free bird here………I bet that is what the back says.
December 11, 2009 at 5:16 am
i like these too. only if you cross your right leg over your left while wearing them, it will probably look like the phoenix is touching himself. or is he touching you? kinda leda-and-the-swan-ish.
December 11, 2009 at 9:24 am
Helen Killer — you slay me!
And now I will have some sort of nightmare about burning phoenix jeans and being attacked…
Why the fuck would I want to put a phoenix on my crotch? Is this supposed to be the reach-around of fire-crotch jokes or like what? Or am I being too esoteric.
That’s it, I must be over-thinking it.