I wonder if a new pair of pants will rise out the ashes when you throw these in the fireplace.
Hey, your fly is down!
Ahhh yes, nothing screams haute couture like a bedazzled mythical birdcrotch.
It kind of simultaneously draws your attention to the area as it hides it.
Can’t wait to see what arises from those ashes.
I think we all can agree that the only thing better than a fire crotch is a firebird crotch.
I can’t even begin to think how stylish I would be if I paired it with this top:
“In other news, a Bedazzle Warning as been issued in the Phoenix area, especially in the canyon.”
It looks copper pubes are exploding out of the front of your pants.
And that is a look that never goes out of style.
Is that a that Phoenix a-rising or are you just happy to see me?
hee hee my hubby took one look and said that he can make it look like the early bird caught a worm!
How did that extra “that” get in there………geesh.
Yeah, that is just the area I want people staring at! Lovely!
Now, see, it looks like more work went into this, with the painting and jeans can be costly (doesn’t say what brand of jeans they are) and it’s $70 cheaper than the “I can glue skulls on used clothing” sweater. Makes no fucking sense whatsoever.
“if you wear it on the street a fight may break out or a car accident may occur…” from one of her other item descriptions, I think it would be more fitting here…
The reason she doesn’t say what size it is is because some people’s four inches are another man’s six.
Looks like King Midas pissed himself.
don’t know where y’all live, but here in the hot, humid south, one afternoon in mid-august would reduce these pants to copper-colored goo running from your nether regions.
and we may be country, but even here, that’s a fashion-don’t.
I hate it when I wake up after a bender and find pictures of myself on my phone, all spread-phoenixed, that I sent to some coworker who I think is cute.
hey, is that a phoenix in your pants, or are you just….
i felt like it had to be said, yet i can’t even finish it. i’ll be sitting over in the corner for my time out now…
LOL @ #13…here is the listing and description for those of you who wanted to know…
UM, i will just make a toga dress out of a bed sheet like i did in college and save 80 bucks, thanks
I’ve always wondered what a phoenix toe would look like.
Person 1: “There’s a burning sensation in my crotch when I wear these jeans… could it be the Phoenix?”
Person 2: “No, its the STD that came with the ‘recycled’ jeans.”
God, I can just picture these pulled up to my belly button with a pink polo shirt tucked into them.
For some reason they just shout “I’M A COOL MOM” to me.
Reminds me of the old saying, “A bird on your pants is worth two in the bush.”
Looks like Goldfinger got all gropey on the dance floor.
I’m not even going to say what all those little white squiggles look like…
Pants: Dear God, make me a real bird. So I could fly far. Far far away from this here crotch.
On another note, I don’t know if anyone has posted about this already, but there’s a user on twitter called Whimsicle, who lists her profession as consultant. Yeah, consultant of fuckery.
She at one point mentions something about Tanksgiving. Which is whimsilicious!
Cock fight, anyone?
Nothing mixes the message quite like “loyalty” noodled on the pocket and a glittery phoenix nesting in the crotch.
Looks like someone got hit with quite the golden shower.
Where did you find jeans that had a Phoenix?
And why did you eat those refried beans?
I’m laughing so hard I need a Kleenex,
’cause you just broke wind beneath your wings.
If you threw a rock at the owners crotch, would you be killing two birds with one stone?
I hear if a redhead wears these jeans, the Phoenix will rise from the ashes caused by the firecrotch and fly off.
Hairy Blotter and the (etsy) Order of the Phoenix
You are suppose to wear these when your laying your eggs. Men look for fertility signs like this in Women.
#31 Skully…… everytime the wind beneath my wings escapes out the front I shall remember your poem.
If you forget to zip the fly you get the Winged Serpent.
I looked at her other items and I almost had a relapse…. I use to sniff glitter glue.
Hey everybody check out my cameltoe! There’s a phoenix on my cameltoe!
You committed an egregious error when you failed to mention the fact that Twitter user “whimsicle” has as their profile picture an image of…wait for it….faeries (yes!) fucking.
Oh, how I wish there was a pic of these on a model.
Pheonix becomes 3-D when worn…balls not included.
(cont. from #41) just tuck nuts to the left…
oops…typo…that was cont. from #42…how do u delete comments?
My girlfriend wants some of these pants, but she wants a pterodactyl fighting with a triceratops, instead of a Phoenix. And she wants it on the backside.
PS–Do you charge extra for a woman with a lot of junk?
@#44 OM: I wish we could delete our comments, I’d love to remove my “fly is down” joke. (I’m LOL @ 42-43 BTW.)
New meaning for firecrotch?
“Wanna come over to my place and pet my phoenix?”
#4 quizzicalpussy : Can’t wait to see what arises from those ashes.
Aren’t those girl pants? If so, I wouldn’t waste my time waiting for stuff to rise.
they should really outlaw puffy paint…some people r dangerous w/ that shit
A relation between two legend that will fail for sure: The Phoenix and the Burning bush.
I am pretty sure these are for Women. Why else would it be Gold- every Women knows she is sitting on a gold mine……….no free bird here………I bet that is what the back says.
i like these too. only if you cross your right leg over your left while wearing them, it will probably look like the phoenix is touching himself. or is he touching you? kinda leda-and-the-swan-ish.
Helen Killer — you slay me!
And now I will have some sort of nightmare about burning phoenix jeans and being attacked…
Why the fuck would I want to put a phoenix on my crotch? Is this supposed to be the reach-around of fire-crotch jokes or like what? Or am I being too esoteric.
That’s it, I must be over-thinking it.
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