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The Regretsy Advent Calendar 12/9

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43 comments on The Regretsy Advent Calendar 12/9

  1. fluffysue
    December 9, 2009 at 9:21 am

    “inspired by some photographs I took of a deer hit by a truck in 2001″.
    I think I’d rather see something inspired by a book she never read.

    Thumb up Thumb down +46

  2. HelenaHandbasket
    December 9, 2009 at 9:22 am

    I, too, love anmals, but not so much as to display their poorly-rendered :-) entrails over my holiday dining table.

    Mama Helen-you know just how to distract us unruly kids, arguing over the Thumb rating system…placate us with eye candy!

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

  3. martini
    December 9, 2009 at 9:28 am

    This is just screaming for View in a Room…

    Thumb up Thumb down +44

  4. Not Me
    December 9, 2009 at 9:29 am

    I am always filled with both excitement and trepidation when I see that the day’s Advent item has been posted.

    And it’s because of fucked up stuff like this. O.o

    That said, this really demands a View it in a Room.

    Thumb up Thumb down +24

  5. ustmistress
    December 9, 2009 at 9:30 am

    Did that car bumper come bearing hair gel? It looks like the poor thing has a mohawk!

    View in a Room – PLEASE!

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  6. hammerhead77
    December 9, 2009 at 9:31 am

    A reindeer got run-over by grandma/
    driving her big ass pick-up down 83…

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

  7. Firehorse
    December 9, 2009 at 9:36 am

    Is this is what happened when Rudolph met a 747?

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  8. babalu
    December 9, 2009 at 9:37 am

    aaaghhh!!!! I was eating lunch as I opened this!!! Must remember NEVER to open Regretsy Advent Calendar while eating. Blech.

    But on another note, here’s a cheery Christmas wreath from this vendor’s shop: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=35887861

    Because nothing says “Christmas” like a wreath made of spiders!

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  9. martini
    December 9, 2009 at 9:41 am

    To quote my friend Samuel L. Jackson… “This is some fucked up repugnant shit.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +31

  10. everydaymama1
    December 9, 2009 at 9:41 am

    “grandma got run over by a reindeer…” So grandpa chased the fucker down and backed over him with his 4X4.

    Ah, the holiday spirit is so inspiring!

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  11. Skully
    December 9, 2009 at 9:43 am

    Rudolph, the roadkill reindeer
    had a very bloody face.
    And you could see his entrails,
    splattered all over the place.

    All of the other reindeer
    ran to tell his family.
    And they asked Rudy’s widow
    if he had a life insurance policy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +40

  12. lemonicicle
    December 9, 2009 at 9:44 am

    “original roadkill, signed outsider” these tags puzzle me

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  13. pleasedontpickme
    December 9, 2009 at 9:45 am

    mmmm Christmas dinner.

    We need to view this in a vet’s office

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  14. Recovering Crack Baby
    December 9, 2009 at 9:46 am

    I am sitting here with a deer in the headlight look, which he did capture, at the fact that this is sixth in a series.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  15. lemonicicle
    December 9, 2009 at 9:47 am

    and my puzzler is sore…

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  16. Recovering Crack Baby
    December 9, 2009 at 9:47 am

    #11 Skully- I don’t think the other Reindeer are laughing and calling him names anymore………

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  17. Skully
    December 9, 2009 at 9:56 am

    @#16 RCB: Blitzen’s calling Rudolph “pancake,” but he’s always been an asshole.

    Thumb up Thumb down +30

  18. Patty
    December 9, 2009 at 9:58 am

    If the deer looks this bad, I’d like to see an oil painting of the truck and a little quote on how much it cost to get it fixed.

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  19. Dynomoose
    December 9, 2009 at 10:03 am

    WTF is wrong with some people? Who wants a gutted deer painting on their wall? I mean, besides John Wayne Gacey.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  20. Recovering Crack Baby
    December 9, 2009 at 10:06 am

    Skully BAH HAHAHAAAAAAAA… That was perfect.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  21. Skully
    December 9, 2009 at 10:07 am

    Then one foggy Christmas eve
    Santa came to say:
    “Rudolph with your head so flat,
    you can’t guide my sleigh like that!”

    Thumb up Thumb down +41

  22. jojo
    December 9, 2009 at 10:10 am

    Quote from the arteessst: “** please note I am a vegetarian and love animals.”

    You’d have to be a vegetarian after painting this.

    “These paintings in no way reflect a hatred of animals.”
    No, just a hatred of humans.

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

  23. jinxybee
    December 9, 2009 at 10:11 am

    This has to be the most aptly named seller on etsy.com: Dreadful Things: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=31199694

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  24. Recovering Crack Baby
    December 9, 2009 at 10:13 am

    This painting has inspired me and created some ideals. I live in Iowa and some off our alert elected officals wonder why people are not staying and leaving…….. Iowa Smells.
    I have more Hog Lots around me then I care too.. in fact most of my neighbors are hogs.
    I don’t mind the dead deer as it is the norm around here. However, when I am travelling down the road and meet a loader full of visible dead pigs just flopping and hanging…. I shall take pictures and sell a series.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  25. martini
    December 9, 2009 at 10:19 am

    #21 Skully :

    Then all the reindeer mourned him
    A truck came and they had to flee
    Why would someone paint this picture?
    It’s a mystery to me.

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

  26. Skully
    December 9, 2009 at 10:27 am

    @#25 Martini: LOL, that’s a perfect ending, thanks.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  27. martini
    December 9, 2009 at 10:32 am

    #26 Skully : Thanks Skully… You started it…

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  28. bumblepuppy
    December 9, 2009 at 10:32 am

    Thanks Skully and Martini – now that song is stuck in my head!
    Anyway, since the elephant sock incident, I feel there needs to be more cock around here. I give you another of her paintings:
    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=32848263

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  29. flare
    December 9, 2009 at 10:33 am

    I have the oddest craving for venison jerky now….

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  30. IscreamUscream
    December 9, 2009 at 10:38 am

    If this were painted while under suicide watch, they would increase your lithium dosage.

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  31. Sushisimo
    December 9, 2009 at 10:58 am

    Eh, the Mammalia Fatale Impressionism movement is sooooo 2007.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  32. Skully
    December 9, 2009 at 11:03 am

    @#28 BP: Wow, that’s poorly executed. If the artist doesn’t have access to the equipment, she should take some life drawing classes or at least buy a Playgirl mag. Probably the first time a painting looked better with a black bar.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  33. addiosix
    December 9, 2009 at 11:30 am

    At least she didn’t go scrape the mangled up deer off the road and make bloody nastyass crafts out of it…

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  34. rodgertheshrubber
    December 9, 2009 at 12:03 pm

    I can’t get over this nagging feeling that Thumper is involved in some way…….

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  35. SueR
    December 9, 2009 at 12:59 pm

    I have an issue with people who tag themselves, ON THE INTERNET, as an “outsider artist.” Just cause you make weird and unpleasant crappy stuff, that doesn’t make you an outsider artist.

    “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means”

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  36. WhimsyMistress
    December 9, 2009 at 1:10 pm

    I have an Etsy.com question. Are sellers allowed to make up their own tags? Because otherwise, am I to conlude that The Powers That Be at Etsy actually created/sanctified/encoded tags like “original roadkill” and “mature morbid”? That hurts my brain…

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  37. whimsy
    December 9, 2009 at 1:13 pm

    #28: “great for any ladies who are fed up with men.” except, of course, for their (poorly rendered, cartoonish) erect penises.

    speaking of penises, i wonder why this one (same store) is shooting apples instead of semen (or blanks, for that matter…)

    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=32849710

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  38. whimsy
    December 9, 2009 at 1:15 pm

    #35, thanks for the inigo montoya quotation, sue. there is no such thing as too many quotes from “the princess bride” in my world.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  39. Skully
    December 9, 2009 at 1:33 pm

    “A Madonna embraces…in this space we create the avatar.”
    Next time just go to gravatar.com, way easier.
    (Yeah, I know I’m not getting any work done today, but Pope Hilarius is gonna appear to my boss in her coffee cup and explain everything.)

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  40. Skully
    December 9, 2009 at 1:39 pm

    @#39 Dumbass: That should be posted under “Calimari Full of Grace. Sorry.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  41. dangerousmezzo
    December 9, 2009 at 1:52 pm

    Oh. My. God.

    On the other hand, if Damien Hirst can preserve real animal corpses in formaldehyde and sell them as art, anything goes, I guess.

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

  42. SueR
    December 9, 2009 at 4:23 pm

    #38 Whimsy, I concur.

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

  43. WhimsyMistress
    December 9, 2009 at 5:56 pm

    First, I meant “conclude” not “conlude”. Whimsicle spelling….

    Second, #28: “#28 bumblepuppy : ..since the elephant sock incident, I feel there needs to be more cock around here. I give you another of her paintings:
    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=32848263“…

    followed immediately by #29: “#29 flare :
    I have the oddest craving for venison jerky now….”

    …made me spit Coke all over my keyboard….

    //…Ellipses…

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

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