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Calamari, Full of Grace

90 comments on Calamari, Full of Grace

  1. rednails
    December 9, 2009 at 11:02 am

    I like it!

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  2. skeletaldropkick
    December 9, 2009 at 11:04 am

    If church really looked like the one in the “view it in a room” I would be there every day… in waders…

    Thumb up Thumb down +51

  3. Skully
    December 9, 2009 at 11:06 am

    Helen, how many Hail Mary’s do you have to say after posting that View in a Room? Hilarious!

    Thumb up Thumb down +48

  4. everydaymama1
    December 9, 2009 at 11:09 am

    Helen you ROCK! That view in a room is priceless! And so much intricate detailing in the church of Regretsy :)

    Thumb up Thumb down +24

  5. houstonruthie
    December 9, 2009 at 11:11 am

    My favorite View It In A Room yet.

    Thumb up Thumb down +27

  6. vangoghbabe
    December 9, 2009 at 11:12 am

    I’m converting…in the confessional, will the priest be able to smell you?? That would be a dead give away.
    Helen, please, you have acquired a bad “habit”…

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  7. Sushisimo
    December 9, 2009 at 11:14 am

    Imagine Joseph’s expression when Mary gave birth to that. “Did you get knocked up in the Sea of Galilee?”

    Thumb up Thumb down +35

  8. chefann
    December 9, 2009 at 11:16 am

    It’s a trap!

    It’s nice to know that a former military man, er, squid, can turn to the church.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  9. DucksNew
    December 9, 2009 at 11:20 am

    First seller says print is 6″ x 7″. Then it says “16 x nearly 20 inches”. I’m assuming the bigger size is from the original painting’s listing. And $20 for an inkjet printout? Bah!

    Also they’re giving a special treat with the first 10 purchases…it scares me what it might be

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  10. HermesGoddess
    December 9, 2009 at 11:23 am

    FABULOUS!

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  11. IscreamUscream
    December 9, 2009 at 11:25 am

    Lil’ baby Cthulhu has inked his swaddling–again!?

    Thumb up Thumb down +35

  12. dmr
    December 9, 2009 at 11:27 am

    fine INK JET print! They must have a gold-plated printer. INK JET print. aaaaaaaaaaaargh.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  13. thebakesale
    December 9, 2009 at 11:27 am

    ahah I like it, too.
    Is that Admiral Ackbar in the background of the View it in a Room? Class.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  14. curlytopnola
    December 9, 2009 at 11:29 am

    perhaps the “special treat included for first 10 buyers!” is that it comes wrapped in yesterday’s newspaper.
    weird, but true story!
    i’d also like to know if i have to go to work on St. Cuttlefish day

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

  15. martini
    December 9, 2009 at 11:31 am

    Holy mother of squid!

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  16. theleewit711
    December 9, 2009 at 11:31 am

    I loooooooooooooove cephalopods!!! All of them! But if I had to pick a favorite the cuttle fish would be my favorite hands down.

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  17. sar-sar
    December 9, 2009 at 11:32 am

    Holy seafood fuck! View in a room is to die for! Genius, sheer genius!

    Really, WTF? The virgin Mary & a cuttlefish? What are these people smoking and injecting into their veins?

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  18. martini
    December 9, 2009 at 11:35 am

    Ink-jet… Bwaahaha…

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  19. sneakypink
    December 9, 2009 at 11:35 am

    He does pet portraits, too! I wonder if he could paint my pet cuttlefish.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  20. turtlegirl76
    December 9, 2009 at 11:36 am

    Is the squid wearing a dunce cap? Or a wizard cap? :/

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  21. CrimsonHoohah
    December 9, 2009 at 11:41 am

    Looks like Poseidon had an illicit affair with Mary. Guess she’s more kinky then I gave her credit for.

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

  22. Skully
    December 9, 2009 at 11:43 am

    @#18 TG: That might be a mitre.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  23. Skully
    December 9, 2009 at 11:45 am

    That was for #20, sorry.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  24. Patty
    December 9, 2009 at 11:54 am

    And then the baby cephlapod did grow to be an adult cephlaman. His rage grew as did his tentacles. And he went on terrorize Johnny Depp on the high seas for a movie and two sequels.

    Thumb up Thumb down +62

  25. quizzicalpussy
    December 9, 2009 at 11:57 am

    @turtlegirl76 & Skully That’s not a squid in a hat. That’s a cuttlefish, which is basically nature’s version of a squid in a hat.

    Thumb up Thumb down +31

  26. skeletaldropkick
    December 9, 2009 at 12:05 pm

    you know, #16 theleewit711 I used to looove the cuttlefish, too. Then I saw this:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGMT99i00M4
    now I hold them in a different regard. All the little octopus wanted was his wrench… :(

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  27. lemonicicle
    December 9, 2009 at 12:06 pm

    I wish I could afford whatever is in this guy’s brownies… that’s some fucked up shit

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  28. LoriZig
    December 9, 2009 at 12:06 pm

    Holy crap, the stained glass in the best View in A Room EVER!!!!

    Also, anyone else craving sushi now?

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  29. Skully
    December 9, 2009 at 12:09 pm

    So are we still cool with fish on Fridays? Let me know soon, my Long John Silver’s coupon expires in a couple days.

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

  30. slappyknuckles
    December 9, 2009 at 12:09 pm

    Hold Tight, Hold Tight
    Hold Tight, Hold Tight
    Foo-dle-le yaki-saki
    Want some seafood, Madonna!
    Squids and lice, they’re very nice

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  31. mommaroach
    December 9, 2009 at 12:13 pm

    I was thinking, to myself, “Hey! That would be a great xmas card! $20? What a deal! Wait. Inkjet print?” Couldn’t they go down to the local copy place and make some nice color LASER copies? At least the ink would not run when wet, but then again, maybe the inkjet is some relevant cuttle fish refer… nah! Just kidding! This person is just cheap. I love the VIAR.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  32. mommaroach
    December 9, 2009 at 12:19 pm

    Also, #26 skeletaldropkick, linked to a pretty cool video. While you’re there, check out the one where the cute little cuttlefish attacks the diver’s flashlight. Nice!

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  33. mycophage
    December 9, 2009 at 12:23 pm

    I hate to be this guy, but it’s “calamari”. Apologies if the misspelling is a joke I don’t get.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  34. pdrunk
    December 9, 2009 at 12:24 pm
  35. Monstrosa
    December 9, 2009 at 12:32 pm

    Fuck yeah! This is what Christmas is all about!

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  36. rodgertheshrubber
    December 9, 2009 at 12:32 pm

    Looks like the Holy Mother is in a quandary as to which end to swaddle.

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

  37. rodgertheshrubber
    December 9, 2009 at 12:34 pm

    Helen, will you calamarry me?

    Thumb up Thumb down +24

  38. thefrog
    December 9, 2009 at 12:35 pm

    Hey, it’s Our Lady of Whimsicle Fuckery!

    Thumb up Thumb down +33

  39. somethinghomemade
    December 9, 2009 at 12:52 pm

    It SOLD!

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  40. cratz
    December 9, 2009 at 12:55 pm

    I heard on the street that the madonna’s baby daddy is Dr. Zoidberg.

    Thumb up Thumb down +24

  41. whimsy
    December 9, 2009 at 12:56 pm

    Hail mary, full of cuttlefish, the squid is with thee.

    Blessed art thou amongst cephalopods,
    and blessed is the sea fruit of thy womb, Cthulu.

    Holy Mary, mother of coleoidea, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death – when we are attacked by schools of giant man-eating squid.

    Amen.

    i will now board the express elevator straight down to hell…

    Thumb up Thumb down +36

  42. Sushisimo
    December 9, 2009 at 12:56 pm

    If I see a Good Friday item with this cuttlefish crucified on an 8-armed crucifix, I swear…

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

  43. HelenaHandbasket
    December 9, 2009 at 1:01 pm

    I hope the “special treat” for the first ten buyers is a lemon wedge and a delicious dipping sauce.

    Thumb up Thumb down +32

  44. kitty
    December 9, 2009 at 1:07 pm

    Ah yes, it is that time of the year again. Now where did I put that christmas song book about the holy cuttlefish?

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  45. Lisa W.
    December 9, 2009 at 1:08 pm

    I know a bunch of people who would by this if only it were a little closer to the Flying Spaghetti Monster… LOL

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  46. Skully
    December 9, 2009 at 1:14 pm

    #3 cont’d: Helen, never mind the Hail Marys, this guy’s got you covered for any transgressions committed for the sake of comedy:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pope_Hilarius

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  47. slynnet
    December 9, 2009 at 1:15 pm

    #20:
    The squid puts on its robe & wizard hat…

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  48. fluffysue
    December 9, 2009 at 1:16 pm

    What the hell??

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  49. AnaDroid
    December 9, 2009 at 1:17 pm

    I like the uterus/goat painting within the seller’s shop.

    Also

    HAIL CTHULU.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  50. kittyofassisi
    December 9, 2009 at 1:21 pm

    If ever one is drepressed over the shit life slings you, come here and you will at least get a good laugh!
    amen

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  51. pjonesnm
    December 9, 2009 at 1:25 pm

    I love cuttlefish…so cute…But is this one crying? Is she holding a tissue for it? Is it sad because it’s in this painting? Is the tissue for her cuz she’s sad about being in the painting?

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  52. NinjaGato
    December 9, 2009 at 1:28 pm

    That nun is cthulhu.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  53. Crossed Promise
    December 9, 2009 at 1:44 pm

    Helen, amazing. This is by far my favourite View It In a Room. I literally laughed out loud. That nun, Jesus Christ on a bicycle, she’s great. Anything with an Ackbar joke wins in my books.
    *clap clap*

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  54. dangerousmezzo
    December 9, 2009 at 1:46 pm

    Best view in a room ever — my heartiest congratulations to Helen or her fiance or whoever did this work. Fucking brilliant.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  55. babalu
    December 9, 2009 at 1:48 pm

    Helen,

    I bow to your superior wit and intelligence. Truly brilliant and awe-inspiring! Hilarious!

    thanks again for a good laugh at (yes!) work.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  56. addiosix
    December 9, 2009 at 1:50 pm

    “On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of tartar and of hushpuppies and of slaw.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +33

  57. hammerhead77
    December 9, 2009 at 3:10 pm

    #41 whimsy – We should get together for drinks after confession sometime!

    However many Our Fathers are required to expunge this, it was worth it. (The jock sock? Not so much.)

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  58. Frankenkitty
    December 9, 2009 at 3:18 pm

    Hail Mary, full of crabs. Does this mean we should change Christmas to Fishmas?

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  59. regretmenot
    December 9, 2009 at 3:27 pm

    “J..man..somethin’…somethin’s peakin’!”

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  60. Night Cowl
    December 9, 2009 at 3:28 pm

    And yet, no one has mentioned the disembodied vagina.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  61. regretmenot
    December 9, 2009 at 3:39 pm

    K…damn it…K…no edit button.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  62. jwheeler
    December 9, 2009 at 3:45 pm

    Though I appreciate the nod to Star Wars, I was SO hoping the View it in a Room would be in a Red Lobster.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  63. sawdustbear
    December 9, 2009 at 3:52 pm

    There once was a squid named Xavier,
    Who was known for bad behavior.
    He climbed up a nice warm cooter,
    And met a church recruiter,
    And now he’s our Lord and Savior!

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  64. zeroonezeroone
    December 9, 2009 at 4:06 pm

    Reminds me of some adult movie that involved tenticles… you can guess what country it was from.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  65. CreepyLittleGirl
    December 9, 2009 at 4:07 pm

    Awesome. I love it. I might even buy it.

    Thumb up Thumb down -2

  66. Noadi
    December 9, 2009 at 4:09 pm

    Who bought it already! That is so perfect for me but it’s gone. :(

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  67. HermesGoddess
    December 9, 2009 at 4:43 pm

    #20/#47:
    I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  68. HermesGoddess
    December 9, 2009 at 4:54 pm

    Oh and also: correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t a giclee technically an inkjet print? I mean, obviously real giclees are not done on some dork’s Epsom 100i at home while he’s taking a break from Warcraft, but still…

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  69. dangerousmezzo
    December 9, 2009 at 4:58 pm

    I think the Madonna needs to wrap Our Tentacled Saviour right the fuck up in His swaddling clothes again. Or maybe she’s changing the Holy Diapers?

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  70. PlaneCrazy
    December 9, 2009 at 5:53 pm

    I just might get some religion if I could go to a church like that. None of the drink the wine and chew the wafer. I’ll order deep fried appetizer, and a shooter. Genuflect.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  71. razberries
    December 9, 2009 at 6:31 pm

    Calamari, Full of Grace…
    LOVE that title! and the view it in a room!
    we adore you helen LOL

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  72. MyEyesMyEyes
    December 9, 2009 at 6:40 pm

    Wow, this gives a whole new meaning to the Mary on a Halfshell.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  73. NinjaGato
    December 9, 2009 at 7:02 pm

    Has anybody ever heard the urban legend about the girl who gives birth to an octopus after going swimming in the ocean? there’s also a good one about a woman giving birth to a bunch of baby lobsters after masturbating with a live lobster. Sad thing is there are people out there who believe them.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  74. whimsy
    December 9, 2009 at 7:13 pm

    i’d had a cocktail with you, hammerhead. we could do penance between shots. no thanks on the cock sock, but if you wanted to bring along one of these, well, i guess i wouldn’t complain, just to keep the theme of the evening going.

    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=32036018&ref=sr_gallery_4&&ga_search_query=tentacle+mature&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_page=&order=&includes=tags&includes=tit

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  75. KissMyWhimsicle
    December 9, 2009 at 7:31 pm

    Wow. I finally joined after months of lurking just to say how much I love the Church of Cthulu-esque “View It In A Room”. I think you may have peaked with this one.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  76. sbarnes2
    December 9, 2009 at 7:32 pm

    LOVE LOVE LOVED the view in a room!

    And ooh la la- a “fine ink jet print!” I don’t know much about printing, but that sounds like its being cranked out of a household HP. At least take it to Kinkos!

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  77. befuddled
    December 9, 2009 at 7:37 pm

    The roly poly fish head priest…priceless. Great job, Helen.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  78. hammerhead77
    December 9, 2009 at 9:04 pm

    @#75 whimsy – Is that what I think it is?!?
    Jesus, Mary, & Joseph (on the Half Shell)!!
    I could have gone my whole life without knowing that item — and that shop! — existed.

    I don’t want anything to do with the jock sock, but I think the simple act of viewing it bought me some more time with the rosary. (I’d pay that guy $15 to send us a few bottles of the Ninkasi IPA, though!)

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  79. frostypumpkin
    December 9, 2009 at 10:19 pm

    Can I get this as a cloth menstrual pad? With snaps?

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  80. rodgertheshrubber
    December 10, 2009 at 12:46 am

    Before you know it commercialism will be taking the Cuttlefish out of Cuttlemas.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  81. sillystuff
    December 10, 2009 at 5:35 am

    Just want to point out…Kinkos will use a bigger version of an “inkjet” printer to bust out prints. $500+ will buyt you an Epson/HP/Canon printer with archival inks that can print on archival fine art media…like canvas and heavy watercolor paper.

    but yes, just saying “inkjet” does make it sound a little “HP all-in-one printer” quality.

    anyways, it’s a good laugh, the image is. Almost as good as that santa pulling a gun on jesus.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  82. whimsy
    December 10, 2009 at 12:07 pm

    oh hh, that’s precisely what you think it is. and there are plenty available from that shop, so don’t worry if you feel you need a moment to make your decision. they’ll make more. and more, and more, and more, and more…

    yep, gotta get back to that rosary now…

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  83. crazycase
    December 10, 2009 at 12:37 pm

    Love the view in a room…
    The Church of Cthulhu, downtown R’lyeh.

    Now we need this on the tree:
    http://www.etsy.com/view_transaction.php?transaction_id=22522785

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  84. PussDaddy
    December 10, 2009 at 6:01 pm

    The painting is God awful, but the view in the room was great.

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

  85. winniethefool
    December 10, 2009 at 10:37 pm

    I would have totally bought the real painting. Seriously.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  86. JustJon
    December 11, 2009 at 1:35 am

    Hail Mary full of… oh shit… IT’S A TRAP.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  87. ThisJustMakesMeSad
    December 11, 2009 at 2:04 pm

    Sweet mother of… what?!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  88. awkwardpanda
    April 22, 2011 at 11:54 pm

    Madonna and Cuttlefish: The original tentacle-rape anime porn.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  89. CaityCat
    November 22, 2011 at 10:42 pm

    Bonus: Baby Jesus-Cuttlefish is safe to eat on Fridays and Lent, too!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

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