Repeat After Me
“I pledge allegiance to the flag of the whale, spider web, American Indian blanket, polka dot, basket weave, beige fabric and horses running in the surf people of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all whales, spider webs, American Indian blankets, polka dots, basket weave designs, beige fabrics and horses running in the surf.”
PLAY BALL
December 8, 2009 at 5:05 pm
Attention teachers: jump on this mofo before it’s gone! Your students need to know ALL the flags…
December 8, 2009 at 5:06 pm
must…stop…losing…weight…acid flashbacks…kicking….in….
December 8, 2009 at 5:08 pm
What a waste of perfectly good quilting scraps.
December 8, 2009 at 5:08 pm
Cluster-fuckery…
December 8, 2009 at 5:09 pm
Brings a patriotic tear to my eye
December 8, 2009 at 5:11 pm
If only there were vaginas on it.
December 8, 2009 at 5:12 pm
or should that be vaginae?
December 8, 2009 at 5:15 pm
I didn’t realize that Shamu had his own nation. Live and learn.
December 8, 2009 at 5:20 pm
“On the back of each flag is my nametag, authenticating it as a true “Woody Blue” original.”
The next time I buy a whale/horse/spiderweb flag, I’ll be sure to check the tag, since last time I got stuck with a cheap Chinese knock-off.
December 8, 2009 at 5:22 pm
Skully, you can tell it’s a knock off because they spell it “Wale”.
December 8, 2009 at 5:21 pm
That size- I could make several menstrual cloths. With snaps! My Christmas shopping is done.
December 8, 2009 at 5:22 pm
They have got to stop allowing craft time in mental institutions.
December 8, 2009 at 5:23 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
December 8, 2009 at 5:29 pm
“show what you stand for” !?!?!
I think I’ll take a seat. The orange Halloween print does go really well with the whale theme, though.
December 8, 2009 at 5:32 pm
Will Enya, Kokopelli, Alison Krauss, and Rob Zombie be collaborating on the national anthem?
December 8, 2009 at 5:34 pm
Etsy….the latest place to get rid of all your old crap.
December 8, 2009 at 5:40 pm
I hope this is for an island nation.
December 8, 2009 at 5:43 pm
This disturbs not only my Native American sensibilities, but it makes my eyes ache.
December 8, 2009 at 5:50 pm
If the decorative flag in your house looks like this, i cannot even imagine what the rest of your house looks like.
December 8, 2009 at 5:52 pm
One, two, three, four…… I SEE THEM! I SEE THEM! Here come the Seven Horses of the Apocalypse!
December 8, 2009 at 5:54 pm
this would look killer next to my Wyland pieces!!
December 8, 2009 at 6:09 pm
#19 creepydolls, I’ve been house hunting lately and, unfortunately, have seen many, many decors this flag would go well with.
December 8, 2009 at 6:13 pm
God Bless the Indecisive. Written by Irving Berlins lesser known brother, Crafty.
December 8, 2009 at 6:24 pm
Whale flag? I’m thinkin’ Fail flag…
December 8, 2009 at 6:28 pm
Completely OT, but, yo, Helen: does this comment rating thingy have a way to let logged in users just see all the comments whether they’re rated low or not? It’s starting to appear as though certain users are getting “modded down” for no reason that I can see.
[ob on-topic]
Wait, what? Whale … flag?
Then again, if someone asks “Do you have a flag?” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEx5G-GOS1k ) you can say, “Yes!”
[/ob on-topic]
December 8, 2009 at 6:37 pm
No, I think you just have to click on the hidden stuff to see it.
Any modding up or down is being done by the readers. I have no ideal what criteria anyone is using.
December 8, 2009 at 6:42 pm
“On the back of each flag is my nametag, authenticating it as a true “Woody Blue” original.”
if your woody is blue, you have problems a whale/horse/spiderweb/etc/etc/etc isnt going to solve.
December 8, 2009 at 6:51 pm
Regardless of how ugly and tacky it is, I just don’t get it.
December 8, 2009 at 6:54 pm
Seriously!?!:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=35492231
“Praying Mantis Flag on Brown Background
The images we choose to focus on give us motivation to create the world we want to inhabit.
The praying mantis turns its head to greet you. If she is hungry, watch out. She will cannibalize her sexual partner after copulation. Praying mantises eat other praying mantises so they mostly live a solitary lifestyle.”
December 8, 2009 at 7:15 pm
If you look at Woody’s Fire Department Flag (http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=34730663) sideways, there’s some interesting imagery going on there. I wonder if Woody noticed that.
December 8, 2009 at 7:27 pm
I need this flag. After all, I stand for truth, justice, creepycrawlies, an over-performing sea mammal, a historically persecuted nation of people, and ugly fabrics everywhere.
December 8, 2009 at 7:41 pm
Looks like somebody hit up the remnant rack at Jo-Ann fabrics.
December 8, 2009 at 7:46 pm
I get the feeling this seller is trying to socialize my Nazism (to borrow a phrase from Jon Stewart).
December 8, 2009 at 7:57 pm
i believe that those horses are galavanting in the snow, not the water. there’s a big difference between water in liquid, solid and vaporous states, you know. i would just like to state that i’m offended on behalf of this artist. she was trying to capture the beauty of nature in all its seasons and water phases. and beige fabrics.
December 8, 2009 at 8:14 pm
As if Gainesville, FL, didn’t have enough to be regretful about this week, now we have this. Perhaps she will patch together some crap to represent Tim Tebow’s anguish.
December 8, 2009 at 8:20 pm
World’s Ugliest Placemat
December 8, 2009 at 8:34 pm
To quote John Pinette “Look, it’s a FREE WILLY”!
December 8, 2009 at 8:56 pm
I can appreciate the Native American theme but I’m lost as to what tribe the spiderwebs are from
December 8, 2009 at 9:28 pm
#38 NinjaGato :
The Gwen Stefaniriquois
*ducks*
December 8, 2009 at 9:38 pm
that made me smile addiosix
December 8, 2009 at 9:40 pm
#16, I don’t think this is old crap. It’s all new crap.
Is this what they are referring to when they say “fly your freak flag”???
December 8, 2009 at 9:57 pm
@ NinjaGato :
haha if I could ‘thumbs down’ myself on that one, I would have — I know it was so bad, so so so bad, but I had to say it
(I’m glad I made you smile though!! I owed you a few! your comments always crack me up)
December 8, 2009 at 11:06 pm
But what does it mean if I wear it in my pocket???!!!
December 8, 2009 at 11:19 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
December 8, 2009 at 11:26 pm
I usually give a thumbs up for comments that are very funny, hit the nail on the head or seem to add to the overall discussion. I rarely give a thumbs down, but when I do it is usually for someone who is attacking another person or mom (Helen Killer) in a bad way, like the dreaded “calling them out”.
December 8, 2009 at 11:30 pm
Just add snaps and it could turn into a world’s largest cloth menstrual pad!
December 8, 2009 at 11:54 pm
My intentions are not to shock, rattle, stun or leave anyone thinking hmmmmmm could she expand on that more.
I will tell you how I vote………
with a mouse.
December 9, 2009 at 12:16 am
I winced when I typed that — ergo the giving myself my own thumbs down.
I don’t sling much of the thumbs downs though. I don’t see much reason to — you people are hilarious and all the comments here are usually spot on.
December 9, 2009 at 1:21 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
December 9, 2009 at 1:51 am
why, Craft Gods, why?
@ #29 whyohwhy : holy shit now I’m going to have nightmares about praying mantis flags… and whales… and basket weave fabric.
Put the crack pipe down, M’am, and step away from the sewing machine…
December 9, 2009 at 3:35 am
I kind of like the Praying Mantis flag. I could hang this up to give the hubby a heads-up as to what kind of mood I’m in.
Although I guess it is kind of confusing: I wanna’ fuck you, but then I’m gonna’ kill you . . .
Actually, that may be the right sentiment I want express sometimes . . .
December 9, 2009 at 3:36 am
want *to* express. sorry
December 9, 2009 at 5:32 am
Oh, to be as crafty and be able to put those fabrics together in such a beautiful medley of shittiness.
*off to raid my Meemaw’s scrap drawer*
December 9, 2009 at 5:54 am
I was looking at the shop and obviously this person has a keen eye for design.
December 9, 2009 at 6:22 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
December 9, 2009 at 6:39 am
Looks like a middle school Home Ec. project, to learn how to sew straight lines…..and use up the scrap fabric.
December 9, 2009 at 7:07 am
#44 – that’s the lamest thing I’ve ever heard. These are comments. Not a message board discussion. It’s become a bit of a discussion among the regulars, but it’s free for anyone to comment as they wish. Not everyone has the comedic skill that some of the other posters do. They shouldn’t stand stymied in the comments trying to come up with something funny to add to whatever conversation is going on. It’s about the posted item. Not the conversation.
December 9, 2009 at 7:37 am
I agree, turtlegirl, and have another suggestion of where she can stick her thumb, thumb up of course.
December 9, 2009 at 7:39 am
Is there some written rule, or even an unwritten one that we are all to post here for comedic purposes? Because many comments intended as comedy are a waste of bandwidth and cyber space. How about we all just comment whatever the hell we want to comment. Do people really care how many thumbs up or down they get? I never even noticed the damn thumbs myself until a couple of days ago.
December 9, 2009 at 7:43 am
Therein lies the joy of living in a free country, you don’t have to agree or even like what other people say or do. Additionally you are given the privilege of being able to say and do whatever you like for any reason you choose.
December 9, 2009 at 7:46 am
lol @ people who care enough to judge comments that “don’t add anything to the discussion.” seriously, get a life.
December 9, 2009 at 8:23 am
Wow, Free Willy is a founding father of his own nation? The stripes of his 6 colonies are perplexing.
December 9, 2009 at 8:28 am
look, you can get a life right here!
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=35892110
two of them, actually!
December 9, 2009 at 8:29 am
What’s next? The Regretsy Rejectsy site for those whose comments didn’t cut the cheese on Regretsy? lol.
I can see how getting rejected from a place like this though may make some end up needing psychotherapy or a place to vent though, I suppose. What’s a person gotta do to get a fricking thumb’s up anyway?
December 9, 2009 at 8:36 am
The site lost something when the ratings showed up. I find them distracting; they take away from the flow that I was used to. Mostly, I hate having to click (sometimes multiple times) to get hidden comments to show up. I always want to see them because of the inability to know why they’d be hidden. If I’ve rated something, it’s likely to be UP on hidden comments with hopes of making them come back visible.
December 9, 2009 at 8:51 am
I think the Regretsy rating system is distracting, and there’s been a few dog-piles, with comments getting over 100 thumbs down, but if a comment is hidden, all it takes is a couple clicks to see it, (which is kinda fun, like unwrapping a Christmas present). I prefer the Hustler Mag movie rating system, (fully erect, semi erect, etc…), but that’s because I’m an old weirdo. It would be cool if we could edit our comments after posting though.
December 9, 2009 at 9:00 am
Just wondering…doesn’t each click count for counting how many people read regretsy for banner advertising purposes? I hate to be a party pooper, but I don’t think Helen is doing this as a stress reliever. Not there is anything wrong with that. Wit isn’t free.
December 9, 2009 at 9:05 am
some of us personally think that Sag gallery & some of the other folks on some other site have an axe to grind.
But then, when the cupcakes come over here and act vindictive, well, then that’s just less time they spend making that crap.
But then, I suppose I am supposed to be “contributing” to comments about a retarded looking flag with a whale on it, since that is SO worthy of prose.
December 9, 2009 at 9:09 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
December 9, 2009 at 9:12 am
What is SAG gallery?
December 9, 2009 at 9:13 am
I say wave your flag and surrender to the thumbs up and down button…… click on the hidden comments and don’t take the numbers seriously…….. I am waving my Flag in hopes that you will all join me..
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=36166835
December 9, 2009 at 9:16 am
Getting back to the flag of Whatthefuckie, are those four geometric vadges on the 2nd stripe, or have I just been spending too much time on Regretsy?
December 9, 2009 at 9:16 am
Finally! A nation that stands for eating several hundred pounds of salmon a day and preying on innocent seals.
December 9, 2009 at 9:18 am
I agree the Thumbs system has changed the tone of the comments section at times, and I do get distressed when someone or their view seems to be bullied (as part of the Comment Patrol, I will give my Thumb Up to a hidden comment that seems particularly unjustified, but that’s how we roll under the Whale/Horses/NA/Basketweave/PolkaDot/SpiderWeb/WovenThing/UglyFabric Flag). How about using ONLY enthisiastic ratings (ex: Like it? Give it a”Say What!”)? If you don’t like it, you don’t rate it…
December 9, 2009 at 9:51 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
December 9, 2009 at 9:53 am
Questions…
If it touches the ground, do I have to burn it?
Can I get it in a larger size to place over my coffin when I die?
I feel the end is near. Need to know these things.
December 9, 2009 at 9:55 am
My country ’tis of thee,
sweet land of basketweave, of polka dots I sing.
Land of the flying whales
and where horses have big tails
Let freedom ring.
December 9, 2009 at 10:07 am
I hate to admit it, but I think a vagoo on a flag would affirm more about who I am than a whale…but maybe if I gain some weight?
Maybe Helen could commission this guy to make a regretsy flag.
December 9, 2009 at 10:28 am
I received ONE! thumbsup on my first comment! Y’all have no idea what that does for my fragile self esteem.
If only I could make a flag out of the scraps of my discontent and self loathing…..
December 9, 2009 at 10:37 am
“Wave your flag! Flags are important symbols affirming who we are, showing others what we stand for. ”
clearly our artist is an underwater basket weaver, rounding up ponies on the reservation in a field of dandelions and spider webs under a starry, starry sky.
a very well rounded individual with possible attention deficit issues.
December 9, 2009 at 12:26 pm
Apparently, the seller lives in a nation known for its just-off-the-freeway fake Native American themed kiosks also known as Albuquerque.
December 9, 2009 at 1:53 pm
Play Ball. Now THAT was funny.
December 9, 2009 at 4:10 pm
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December 9, 2009 at 4:11 pm
…back up.
December 9, 2009 at 7:13 pm
I pledge allegence, to Queen Frag, and her mighty state of whaleassedness…
December 10, 2009 at 8:59 am
Last night at 2AM when I was having trouble sleeping, this popped into my weary head:
You’re an ugly flag,
You’re a Blue Woody flag,
You’ve got horses and webs and Shamu.
You’re the emblem of
A bunch of stuff,
I’m shocked you don’t show a vagoo.
Ev’ryone here thinks
That your weird design stinks.
On your back is the Blue Woody tag.
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
Who would fly such dumb fucking flag?
December 10, 2009 at 5:46 pm
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