The hair and ears are really creeping me out!! But when I saw this in her shop I got even more freaked!! Look at pics 3 and 4 and you’ll see what I mean.
Recovering Crack Baby
December 5, 2009 at 11:13 am
#7 I thought that EXACT same thing. Helen are you rubbing it in our faces that you have one and we don’t???????
I am off to the Store………My Gob is dying for a Keebler’s E.L. Fudge and I must find some….
omg, did you really buy the fucking flies? i hope you’ll share a real “see this in a room” image once you get it home and hung up on the wall! seriously, where wouldn’t be an appropriate place for that masterpiece?
whimsicalfuckerylover
December 5, 2009 at 11:21 am
Half of me is thinking-you don’t use molds? Why the hell not? I mean, have you SEEN what your “creating” by not using molds?
And the other half of me is thinking…It’s a good fucking thing you don’t use molds otherwise there would be a ton of these things running around! They look like they would eat through your flesh & take over your body!
I’m trying here, but truthfully. I’ve got nothing.
The first place my snarky brain went was some sort of Maury Povich DNA Paternity Test show with a row of random guys sitting there and Gizmo the mogwai in the last chair being all ‘SHE’S A HO! THAT AIN’T MY BABY SHE’S A HO. I’m 10002% sure that baby isn’t mine!!’
At least give us a toe or a vagina or something to work with (that Thalidomide thing was funny as hell though, btw)
I must concur with this one too. The more I stare at this, the more I think it’s eyes are just going to pop open and it’s going to lunge at me through the monitor and eat my soul with its evil devil-mouth
Holy shit on a shingle, that poor little thing looks straight out of “Fringe”. Where the hell is Walter when you need him??
The “kitten” “thing” in her shop is equally horrifying. Hey, at least she’s got a voice as an artist though.
BTW–sometimes the profiles are as entertaining as the “art”. I particularly love this bit:
“If you wish, I can make a special sculpture just for you, maybe you would like a likeness of your pet (I shall need a photo for this), not only a cat or a dog, but also for example a little rat.”
When this thing wakes up, it’s either going to:
1.set up shop in your tree and start baking cookies.
or
2.jump on your chest, chew out your jugular and lay eggs in your ear.
I hope its new owner jams an ice pick in the back of its skull while it’s sleeping, just to be safe.
At this very moment, over TEN THOUSAND views and SOLD.
Helen, this would not have been possible without you. I’m not sure that’s a *good* thing — the artist may be encouraged by the attention, not knowing 9,000 out of those 10,000 had to clean vomit off their monitors.
I want to know, sincerely, why she made this? Did she have a preemie? My girl was born “too” early … 25 weeks. She’s now 2, healthy, gorgeous! We preemie moms gotta stick…
December 5, 2009 at 10:27 am
Awww, it’s Thalidomide Thelma.
December 5, 2009 at 10:32 am
Okay, yeah….was this sold before you listed it, or is that a new record for a regretsy sale?
December 5, 2009 at 10:40 am
that’s exactly what i’m wondering, it’s cute as hell, huh.
December 5, 2009 at 10:40 am
Great. First all of the bear sex, and now someone mated with a gremlin.
December 5, 2009 at 10:41 am
(they’re always cute… until you feed them after midnight)
December 5, 2009 at 10:43 am
she’s got that whole “ugh, where the fuck am i” newborn look down:
http://www.etsy.com/view_transaction.php?transaction_id=22537778
December 5, 2009 at 10:50 am
helen, you bought that, didn’t you
December 5, 2009 at 10:52 am
addiosix, I’m not much good at Regretsy Math, but, yeah, the first thing that came to my mind when I saw this thing was:
+
=
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=35357163
December 5, 2009 at 10:54 am
The hair and ears are really creeping me out!! But when I saw this in her shop I got even more freaked!! Look at pics 3 and 4 and you’ll see what I mean.
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=33911346
I am now going to hide!
December 5, 2009 at 10:56 am
Weberly, I wish.
I did buy this, however.
December 5, 2009 at 11:01 am
DarkVomit does my favourite Christmas card:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=35769271
December 5, 2009 at 11:13 am
#7 I thought that EXACT same thing. Helen are you rubbing it in our faces that you have one and we don’t???????
I am off to the Store………My Gob is dying for a Keebler’s E.L. Fudge and I must find some….
December 5, 2009 at 11:14 am
good god – my eyes! my eyes are burning! please make it stop!! (just kidding, helen. please keep it coming! i <3 you the most)
December 5, 2009 at 11:15 am
omg, did you really buy the fucking flies? i hope you’ll share a real “see this in a room” image once you get it home and hung up on the wall! seriously, where wouldn’t be an appropriate place for that masterpiece?
December 5, 2009 at 11:15 am
#8 that is going to give me nightmares, it’s 1000x more creepy then the elf baby. Stick to weird elf children please!
December 5, 2009 at 11:19 am
“Bright light!” “Bright light!” “Don’t take it into the light!” Um, shit…too late!
December 5, 2009 at 11:21 am
Half of me is thinking-you don’t use molds? Why the hell not? I mean, have you SEEN what your “creating” by not using molds?
And the other half of me is thinking…It’s a good fucking thing you don’t use molds otherwise there would be a ton of these things running around! They look like they would eat through your flesh & take over your body!
December 5, 2009 at 11:25 am
I’m trying here, but truthfully. I’ve got nothing.
The first place my snarky brain went was some sort of Maury Povich DNA Paternity Test show with a row of random guys sitting there and Gizmo the mogwai in the last chair being all ‘SHE’S A HO! THAT AIN’T MY BABY SHE’S A HO. I’m 10002% sure that baby isn’t mine!!’
At least give us a toe or a vagina or something to work with (that Thalidomide thing was funny as hell though, btw)
December 5, 2009 at 11:35 am
#16 whimsicalfuckerylover :
I must concur with this one too. The more I stare at this, the more I think it’s eyes are just going to pop open and it’s going to lunge at me through the monitor and eat my soul with its evil devil-mouth
(evil devil mouth reference point: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=33847852 )
December 5, 2009 at 11:43 am
this is obviously a relative to the yowling horror seen previously. in pic 2 she looks like she is doing one of those “i’ll crush your head” photos.
#8: it looks like its been in a bar fight.
#10: i love darkvomit’s stuff, and the fact that he takes pride having been featured here.
December 5, 2009 at 11:46 am
Holy shit on a shingle, that poor little thing looks straight out of “Fringe”. Where the hell is Walter when you need him??
The “kitten” “thing” in her shop is equally horrifying. Hey, at least she’s got a voice as an artist though.
December 5, 2009 at 11:47 am
BTW–sometimes the profiles are as entertaining as the “art”. I particularly love this bit:
“If you wish, I can make a special sculpture just for you, maybe you would like a likeness of your pet (I shall need a photo for this), not only a cat or a dog, but also for example a little rat.”
December 5, 2009 at 11:53 am
I see a boob on a tree..
December 5, 2009 at 11:56 am
Ok, this one HAS to be the product of Sloth from The Goonies mating with someone:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=33911346
HEY YOU GUYSSS!
December 5, 2009 at 12:01 pm
reminds me of this gem
http://urbanlegends.about.com/library/bl_half_human.htm
December 5, 2009 at 12:04 pm
After being forced to deal with idiots in real life I come in here and you guys make my day!
OOAK Baby Julia by Malga that #8 everydaymama1 and #23 FoldingMetalChairs posted, that thing could be the poster child for fetal alcohol syndrome.
December 5, 2009 at 12:15 pm
I’m more terrified of this! http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=34600997
After the “Crimson Bliss” brain-eating dove on a headband, and now this, I have an overwhelming fear of birds.
December 5, 2009 at 12:15 pm
#20 I like the kitten even better, but mainly because I love redundant titles: “Baby Kitten Cat”.
December 5, 2009 at 12:18 pm
oh but this http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=23756029 is disturbing in a way that only someone who has ever had or known a very premature baby can understand…
So I am repulsed and yet in a funny way, I kinda like this woman’s work. I guess I know I should look away, but can’t…
December 5, 2009 at 12:55 pm
@ #29…. I am with you.
December 5, 2009 at 1:01 pm
Sigh…. I’ll always miss Sam Kinison.
December 5, 2009 at 1:02 pm
#8 hammerhead77 :
Why did that take so long to show up?!?!
omg. Yes! ‘Yes’ with interest, because it was a delayed ‘yes’
December 5, 2009 at 1:05 pm
I went on over 400 combat patrols in Iraq, and that’s the scariest thing I’ve seen in my life.
December 5, 2009 at 1:10 pm
33- scarier than the “yawning” baby ornament?
December 5, 2009 at 2:12 pm
Mrs. Claus must be royally pissed.
December 5, 2009 at 2:19 pm
I own three Chihuahuas. I live with “ugly”. And that damn thing scared the hell out of me.
So, I called the kids in- “Hey, look what’s on Regretsy today!”
And I sat back and chortled… yes, chortled.
December 5, 2009 at 3:17 pm
kind of looks like glenn beck. my son’s friend asked what is it and he said “cornfield baby”
December 5, 2009 at 3:42 pm
Wasn’t there a show of “Muppet Babies” or something? That parrot is like “Feebles Preemies.”
December 5, 2009 at 4:45 pm
When this thing wakes up, it’s either going to:
1.set up shop in your tree and start baking cookies.
or
2.jump on your chest, chew out your jugular and lay eggs in your ear.
I hope its new owner jams an ice pick in the back of its skull while it’s sleeping, just to be safe.
December 5, 2009 at 5:12 pm
#33 Thousandaire
Thank you for your service.
December 5, 2009 at 8:51 pm
Anybody remember the ending of bride of chucky? Shes all burnt up and gives birth to this creature that kills the cop.
It’s not bad, the details are great, but it isn’t cute or cuddly. Not even the ugliest human baby looks that evil.
December 5, 2009 at 9:47 pm
Seriously. I just threw up in my mouth.
December 5, 2009 at 9:47 pm
What truck tires did they scoop that out from under?
December 6, 2009 at 4:33 pm
At this very moment, over TEN THOUSAND views and SOLD.
Helen, this would not have been possible without you. I’m not sure that’s a *good* thing — the artist may be encouraged by the attention, not knowing 9,000 out of those 10,000 had to clean vomit off their monitors.
December 8, 2009 at 11:52 pm
Helen … you’ve been on a buying spree! Should we take a hint & follow?
You could be starting a trend.
Everyone else … what bugs me about this seller is her “too early born” offering (and hopefully I’ve pasted this correctly):
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=23756029
I want to know, sincerely, why she made this? Did she have a preemie? My girl was born “too” early … 25 weeks. She’s now 2, healthy, gorgeous! We preemie moms gotta stick…