Profits from Regretsy merchandise are used to hire Etsy artists to create handmade products for various charities, or to directly benefit Etsy sellers in need.

All revenue generated by Regretsy.com is donated to charitable works. See our Charity page for complete information.

Money raised to date for all projects: $10,057.00

Click here to visit our Zazzle store

Amazon.com
Barnes & Noble
Borders
IndieBound
RandomHouse.com
and other retailers

The Regretsy Advent Calendar 12/3

Posted by Helen Killer

71 comments

Filed in Holidays 71 comments

71 Comments

Add Comment

Dec 3, 2009
8:26 am

#1 ohdearydearyme :

ARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH! The giant monters in the ceiling is coming to get me- it’s eyes! It’s glowing red EYES!

Rate this comment: -2

Dec 3, 2009
8:27 am

#2 rodgertheshrubber :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -3

Dec 3, 2009
8:27 am

#3 DucksNew :

If there’s anything I hate around the holidays, it’s naked ceiling fans

Rate this comment: +55

Dec 3, 2009
8:27 am

#4 FoldingMetalChairs :

I kind of like this, its interesting and fun, shame the pics are naff!

Rate this comment: +17

Dec 3, 2009
8:28 am

#5 ohdearydearyme :

What the hell is a monter? I was so scared I misspelled…

Rate this comment: +6

Dec 3, 2009
8:28 am

#6 rodgertheshrubber :

@#3 DucksNew

Totally.

Rate this comment: +2

Dec 3, 2009
8:29 am

#7 Tabbie :

Ninja death star complete with loosely attached red glass balls (to fall on the heads of your enemies)
‘Tis the season!

Rate this comment: +20

Dec 3, 2009
8:30 am

#8 superfran :

I’m sure this isn’t the worst thing I’ve seen on here although not having a ceiling fan myself, it has limited use to me…

Rate this comment: -2

Dec 3, 2009
8:31 am

#9 blablover5 :

When I think of Christmas I always picture a giant gaping black and green hole there to suck me up into its blood red sharp baubles.

But then I watched too much Nightmare Before Christmas growing up.

Rate this comment: +13

Dec 3, 2009
8:31 am

#10 Patty :

Nothing says “Happy New Year” like buying and installing a new ceiling fan because you’ve put thick, green felt- sewn (NOT glued)- sleeves on your ceiling fan arms, which weighed them down so much that the motor burned itself out in an effort to keep spinning.

Or am I the only one on the planet who uses the ceiling fan year round?

Rate this comment: +12

Dec 3, 2009
8:31 am

#11 rodgertheshrubber :

“want to make a statement?”

Only to the police.

Rate this comment: +50

Dec 3, 2009
8:31 am

#12 rainbowcrafter :

This Christmas give the gift of joy, peace and ceiling fan covers…

Rate this comment: +10

Dec 3, 2009
8:32 am

#13 Jea :

Look, Ma! It’s whimsicle fuckery!

Rate this comment: 0

Dec 3, 2009
8:33 am

#14 Tabbie :

Thank god, my ceiling fan has been begging me for years to be part of the family Christmas tradition. Now, if only the seller could find a way to attach crayons to pants in some crazy way so my kids can decorate the walls as well.
OH SNAP:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=35543547

Rate this comment: +31

Dec 3, 2009
8:33 am

#15 hammerhead77 :

My dog is afraid of ceiling fans and will cower in a corner if someone switches it on.

I will now be joining her…

Rate this comment: +25

Dec 3, 2009
8:33 am

#16 rodgertheshrubber :

“a true conversation-starter”

Hey_________,What did your ceiling ever do to you?

Rate this comment: +31

Dec 3, 2009
8:35 am

#17 Tabbie :

How often do you think you’d be picking these off the floor after turning on the fan?

Rate this comment: +30

Dec 3, 2009
8:35 am

#18 Calophi :

I like the idea of this in general, but I don’t like how you can see from one angle that the “thick, green felt” is sagging off of the sides. I’d prefer a lighter fabric with some sort of thin wire to keep the edges stiff, or something.

#14: Want to decorate the walls? My mom “wraps” all of the pictures hanging on her walls in wrapping paper every year. She’s nutters.

Rate this comment: +18

Dec 3, 2009
8:40 am

#19 hammerhead77 :

You just know that some little brat (like me) will turn the ceiling fan up on high so that the “thick, green felt” goes flying across the room at Mach 2 and takes out Aunt Rosa.

Rate this comment: +49

Dec 3, 2009
8:41 am

#20 lemonicicle :

“what you get:
5 ceiling fan blade covers made of thick dark green felt, sewn (NOT glued) together.
fun, unique, and whimsical.
a true conversation-starter”

how does the potential buyer imagine the conversation to go?

*guests walk into the room, notice ceiling fan*
“why Mary, what a whimsical ceiling fan costume you have!”
“I know right! Can you believe they’re SEWN! no glue at all!”

Cuz, I think they might want to envision their guests taking one look at that and leaving…

Rate this comment: +19

Dec 3, 2009
8:43 am

#21 Thistle :

i’d rather have that than this hideous thing http://ny-image1.etsy.com//il_fullxfull.101990217.jpg

Rate this comment: +6

Dec 3, 2009
8:46 am

#22 HermesGoddess :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -20

Dec 3, 2009
8:47 am

#23 moi :

I actually don’t mind the covers, although I don’t think she should have had the red balls hanging if they aren’t included (and they look a bit tacky, really).

Rate this comment: +6

Dec 3, 2009
8:49 am

#24 moi :

This pics, however, are horrid. Good grief people…you only have a matter of a few days to sell this thing before its too late. Get some $5 lights at walmart so people can actually see what the hell it is!

Rate this comment: +6

Dec 3, 2009
8:57 am

#25 Hello Happy :

That’s…kind of awesome! But I agree the pictures are just awful. I’m now contemplating doing that to my ceiling fan.

Rate this comment: +5

Dec 3, 2009
8:57 am

#26 DreamingLiz :

Here’s a brilliant idea: Turn ON the lights right in front of you. You know, the ones in the picture, that are off? Maybe it’ll help showcase your ‘product’.

Rate this comment: +2

Dec 3, 2009
9:04 am

#27 somethinghomemade :

As I sit here (yes!) ironing some gift paper that will be used to decorate the gift box for my latest product, I realize that I do many crazy things in the guise of normal and holiday spirit. However, I just can’t see giving my boys one more projectile and attached to a motor at that.

Rate this comment: +7

Dec 3, 2009
9:11 am

#28 hammerhead77 :

Those little strings that are hanging from the fan need a whimsicle touch. I know where she can buy a mistletoe vagina. That would really tie this piece together.

Rate this comment: +14

Dec 3, 2009
9:15 am

#29 HelenaHandbasket :

Bless her heart, the poor dear thing spelled it “whimsical”.

Rate this comment: +16

Dec 3, 2009
9:19 am

#30 WTFisthatanyway :

When I come to after drinking way too much eggnog and passing out on the floor what a welcome sight my ceiling fan cover will be! Nothing says “Merry Christmas you drunken sot” than some festive felt (sewn, not glued) hanging from the ceiling!

Rate this comment: +10

Dec 3, 2009
9:20 am

#31 WTFisthatanyway :

Oh crap, I forgot – I don’t have a ceiling fan! Better haul ass to Home Depot!

Rate this comment: 0

Dec 3, 2009
9:22 am

#32 Skully :

#24-26 regarding dark photos: Thank you, I thought it was just my eyes and/or monitor.

To seller: How’s this for a conversation starter, “Turn on the lights, dumbass, I can’t see your fucking product!”

Rate this comment: +4

Dec 3, 2009
9:25 am

#33 norez :

Gotta admit, the seller has a mind for business. Most people would have seen this in the ‘Fun holiday projects for the whole family!’ article in the December 1979 issue of Women’s Day and just dog-earred it for another time. This lady’s basing a whole cottage industry on it.

Rate this comment: +7

Dec 3, 2009
9:30 am

#34 carecaribou :

OOH! I saw this in “A Very Special Double-Oh-Seven Christmas!”

“How would you like your felt, Mr. Bond?”
“Green. Sewn, not glued.”
“And your martini?”
“Shaken, not stirred. And make it a double, that ceiling fan creeps me out, quite.”

And #21 Thistle: … Okay, I’ll bite — WTF is that red thing supposed to be???

Rate this comment: +15

Dec 3, 2009
9:33 am

#35 whtnay :

Maybe I’m sick, but I kinda like this, if nothing else, for it’s tacky factor. It would go well with our old wood panelled walls. I love tacky Christmases.

Rate this comment: +9

Dec 3, 2009
9:36 am

#36 melo5 :

it looks like a 5-winged bat with red balls…

Rate this comment: +15

Dec 3, 2009
9:43 am

#37 enamy :

“Is your ENTIRE house decorated for the holidays?”

um, no.

Rate this comment: +4

Dec 3, 2009
9:51 am

#38 lemonicicle :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -5

Dec 3, 2009
9:52 am

#39 Thistle :

#34 carecaribou — best i can tell its a headless snake. whose aforementioned head being found in the hellhound’s mouth, who, ozzy-like, apparently bit it off.

just the thing for your little girl to wear to school to keep the bullies away. or become one herself:

“hey jennifer, whats that on your dress?”

“it’s my pet. beelzedog.”

“but… what’s it doing?”

“it’s biting the head off a girl named mary; who my mom, the whimsicle crafty witch, turned into a snake. now give…

Rate this comment: -1

Dec 3, 2009
9:53 am

#40 Thistle :

…me your lunch money.”

Rate this comment: +1

Dec 3, 2009
10:00 am

#41 jamie :

oh thank god theyre NOT glued

Rate this comment: +5

Dec 3, 2009
10:20 am

#42 Efit :

Whoa dang! I’d love to see the GLASS balls go flying all over the place when she turns on the fan.

Filed in: Maimed by Household Appliances

Rate this comment: +10

Dec 3, 2009
10:30 am

#43 Efit :

OT – Etsy is featuring (right now!) another former Regretsy alum on the FP: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=33396750&ref=fp_feat_8

(http://www.regretsy.com/2009/10/30/fraggle-frock/)

This furthers my theory that Etsy admin is trying to make up for its sellers being Regretsied by putting them on the FP and in the Gift Guides. Mmm-hmm, yep.

Rate this comment: +6

Dec 3, 2009
10:36 am

#44 moi :

#38…its a branches from a large plant thats sitting off to the side of the doorway. If you click to look at the photo full size you can tell.

Rate this comment: 0

Dec 3, 2009
10:37 am

#45 everydaymama1 :

At first look I thought they were bat wings on the fan ;P

Just what I need. More things to easily collect dust in my house!

Rate this comment: +1

Dec 3, 2009
10:46 am

#46 Saraf :

ok, so this ceiling fan “costume” is truly some whimsicle fuckery, but i have to say i LOVE her potholders, wouldn’t mind finding them under my tree!

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=35562662

Rate this comment: +5

Dec 3, 2009
10:46 am

#47 buffoon :

Rightly or wrongly, I am now immediately suspicious of anyone on Etsy that uses “whimsical” in their description or as a tag, whether spelled correctly or not. Me thinks they are looking for a way in to Regretsy…

Rate this comment: +1

Dec 3, 2009
10:55 am

#48 addiosix :

The red glass bulbs are a ruse.

What these things really need to be accessorized with are a rubber suit and the batmobile.

Rate this comment: +3

Dec 3, 2009
10:57 am

#49 addiosix :

By day, a mild mannered ‘festive’ ceiling fan — but by night, a caped crusader tirelessly working to keep Gotham City streets free of crime.

Rate this comment: +2

Dec 3, 2009
11:13 am

#50 bootsychoo :

I have an 8-blade ceiling fan
http://www.ceiling-fans.biz/details/Fanimation-The-Levon-63–8-Blade-Ceiling-Fan-FP7910OB/14005.html

Aggghhh, Mommy, the Christmas spider is staring at me!!!

Rate this comment: +1

Dec 3, 2009
11:22 am

#51 Recovering Crack Baby :

On the Fifth day of Christmas regresty gave to me-
Five Fan Blade Covers…………
Four Red Balls
Three Hen Covers
Two Say What’s
And a Partridge in a Hair Weave.

Rate this comment: +17

Dec 3, 2009
11:43 am

#52 MinnePurl :

Tired of tacky crap that just stays in one place? How about this mobile piece of wtf? The tat goes all the way to eleven.

Rate this comment: +2

Dec 3, 2009
12:10 pm

#53 Elegant :

I’m thinking something that has more year ’round appeal….

Penis shaped covers. Whirling willies!

Rate this comment: +5

Dec 3, 2009
12:12 pm

#54 weberly :

#47 if so this one could have been the bait
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=31339296
bless her heart she put it on her shop banner

Rate this comment: 0

Dec 3, 2009
12:13 pm

#55 vangoghbabe :

#51
You got it…

Rate this comment: -1

Dec 3, 2009
12:17 pm

#56 vangoghbabe :

to save money (because I’m cheap) I will now take this idea and mutate it…I’m sure I can use tinsel to tie on real tree branches (tied not glued) and instead of balls, I’m hanging the cocoon baby from the lights…if it gets enough warmth maybe it will eventually hatch…and on Christmas eve.
THAT would be a TRUE conversation starter.

Rate this comment: +10

Dec 3, 2009
12:34 pm

#57 Skully :

Conversation starter:
“Hey man, what’s up with the eyepatch?”
“Well, my wife stuck some ugly-ass felt holly leaves on the ceiling fan, and when my kid hit the switch, one of ‘em flew off and hit me right in the fuckin’ eye.”
“Holy shit! Were they glued or sewn?”

Rate this comment: +23

Dec 3, 2009
12:40 pm

#58 lilprincess :

Why would you want to make your ceiling fan look like it had bats? Especially whorling bats. Can you imagine how that would terrify children?

Rate this comment: +1

Dec 3, 2009
12:52 pm

#59 pdrunk :

This is the decorative equivalent of passing out from drinking and waking up to find the word “BALLS” written across your forehead.

Rate this comment: +6

Dec 3, 2009
1:59 pm

#60 buffoon :

#54, aw bless her cotton socks- that is actually cute- well the poor unsuspecting child is anyway. Makes me feel kind of sad…

Rate this comment: 0

Dec 3, 2009
2:42 pm

#61 weberly :

now this is flippin cute http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=32087802

k, i’ll quit with the links now

Rate this comment: 0

Dec 3, 2009
4:35 pm

#62 sweetbirdofparadox :

I submitted this!

For some reason I already have a fear of ceiling fans falling or chopping off appendages, so this thing looks like a disaster waiting to happen to me!

Rate this comment: -1

Dec 3, 2009
5:04 pm

#63 whimsiclefuckery :

Since you don’t mind questions, I have one. Will those bats bite Santa & give him rabies when he’s trying to leave my presents? And can reindeer fly faster than bats?

Rate this comment: 0

Dec 3, 2009
5:42 pm

#64 cmuberti :

Awe
Some

Rate this comment: -2

Dec 3, 2009
6:12 pm

#65 WhimsyMistress :

“OT – Etsy is featuring (right now!) another former Regretsy alum on the FP: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=33396750&ref=fp_feat_8

(http://www.regretsy.com/2009/10/30/fraggle-frock/)”

Any pre-teen girl forced to wear that out in public would immediately call the Child Abuse Hotline. Seriously, who would do that to their child??

Rate this comment: +2

Dec 3, 2009
9:47 pm

#66 Recovering Crack Baby :

#59 pdrunk- would passing out and waking up with actual balls on your head be as equal?

Rate this comment: 0

Dec 3, 2009
11:43 pm

#67 rocza :

#25 Hello Happy …*glances around* I’m glad it’s not just me. I like the -idea-, too! But I’d go for a lighter fabric (something sparkly!), and use wire to maintain a frame/shape. I’d probably use felt balls, too… just for safety…

#50 bootsychoo This Christmas spider?
http://kraftmstr.com/christmas/books/spider.html

(It’s a German folk story about tinseling trees. It’s very sweet, and a lot of German families give their kids small beaded spiders as tree ornaments.)

Rate this comment: 0

Dec 3, 2009
11:47 pm

#68 snarkeygirl :

hmmm. do they fly off when you switch it on?

Rate this comment: 0

Dec 4, 2009
8:09 am

#69 mstiefan :

Well, now I feel just terrible. Here I sit with naked ceiling fans, no babies on my tree, no ghoul centerpiece for my holiday table…no wonder I can’t get in the mood for Christmas this year.

Rate this comment: 0

Dec 4, 2009
8:15 am

#70 Thistle :

#65 wm: gah did you see some of those hideous pieces? and the poor girls all have those “kill me now” expressions?

Rate this comment: 0

Dec 4, 2009
11:44 am

#71 marimoy :

gone one week and I missed all this excitement!

Rate this comment: 0