Followed by baby’s first trip to the emergency room when he/she either chokes on yarn and feathers, or gets some kind of weird illness/poisoning from sucking on deer hooves. Nice.
Yeah, and I can practically smell the lead in the paint from here! And where the hell does she get all the deer hooves? She has them on several of her “rattles”. I really hope this aren’t actually meant for children and she didn’t think to use the word “shaker” instead.
I’m pretty sure this isn’t for kids at all — more like a rattle for spiritual/religious purposes, or for people who collect trinkets that look like they have some spiritual/religious purpose.
That said, I can’t make a real deer hoof and synthetic “fun yarn” (listed as a material, even) go together for either purpose. So who knows, maybe I’m wrong & it’s for babies after all. “And this was Gina’s first dead animal toy — she loved teething on the hooves!”
#11 comma, if it’s not for babies (or kids), why is the yarn “fun”? But if it is for babies, why is it tagged m”music, instrument, shaker”? Seller is confused
I went shopping for some “fun yarn” yesterday, but all the yarn at Michaels and Joannes looked so damned serious. So I tried writing “fun yarn” on my wife’s shopping list, but she brought home a bag of “Funyuns” and called me King of Stupid.
This reminds me of my 11th birthday, when my mom gave me a Native American “medicine bag” she made from a turtle shell and a tanned coyote face and a bunch of beads and feathers. She wanted me to save some of my first menstrual blood to keep in it or some shit.
Thanks for reminding me why I don’t talk to her anymore.
Seriously, I don’t think it’s for babies. More like for the whimsicle who perform dances of indigenous people in faery glens with feathers and various animal parts as costume.
Addendum: I use the term “Native American” loosely, as my mother was not a Native American, just someone who became obsessed with everything Native American. It was just a phase she went through… if I recall it was right between the “militant feminist” period and the “cash in the 401k to buy a Harley and become a biker chick” episode.
It looks like one of those rare, crazy tumors that sometimes develop in people with hair and teeth in them. Except this rare crazy one formed in a deer.
I always wondered what one could do with the hoofs. One of our local hunters brought in the scull with horns attached of a deer he shot. I especially like his description of how he boiled the thing and pealed off all the skin & flesh. I bet he’s buy this. No wait! He could make his own.
Kind of what I always imagined a piñata made out of a uterus would look like. Provided the uterus were spray painted, of course. Hey, wasn’t some of that crap also glued to that mirror?
At the risk of being skewered by Ms.Killer, I doubt that this was intended as a baby rattle. Gourd rattles are used in Native American music as a pretty standard instrument. With the deer hoof and the acorn, this appears to me to be more of a Native American musical instrument than a baby rattle.
Great, #43. Now I have this image of the seller happily inflating her deer scrotums (scrotii?), then spray painting them, all while cheerfully humming the song that Thumper sang to Bambi….
Can anyone please tell me where these people are getting animal parts from? Is this some black market thing where the animal wakes up in a bath tub full of ice, missing a hoof/paw/whatever?
haha I am so curious to see what comes up, but I can’t do it!!
Google Image search with safe content filter turned off has already put the Fear of God in me.. and to tempt fate with a phrase ending in ‘furry acorn’
I could probably get deer hooves, cow skulls, and most likely freakin squirrel blood from anyone who hunts or farms (which is at least half of the population of every small town). *sigh*
Apparently it’s meant as some sort of native american thingamajig. From the seller’s profile:
“Critter aficionado, wildlife rehabber, hiker and general naturalist. Have interests in indigenous and primitive crafts, minerals and stones, Native American and Western European animal totem lore. Also a serious yarn magpie who should probably seek therapy.”
Yes. Yes, you should seek therapy. And not the kind you offer the wildlife you “rehab” since apparently that didn’t go well for…
I am in IOWA and on a big ass Farm I can see the Minnesota border down my gravel road- not kidding either. I have no shame in admitting that we have a Cabin for Hunter’s whom come from everywhere for the Big Kill…….. so whadayah all need? I can hook you up- literally as we also live on the River?
Okay, to play the devil’s advocate here, she does not use and tags for children or toys, but rather markets this as a musical instrument. It’s hideous and gross and unsanitary-looking, true.
please bestow thy blessings upon my humble dwelling with gifts of customized, whimsicle fuckery that I might frighten away relatives…er..protect my home this holiday season.
Oh yeah, don’t get me wrong. I don’t dislike hunters, farmers, or the small town I live in – (BTW – I grew up in Decorah – woo! go Iowa! lol) I think I was just “sighing” at the squirrel blood. lol.
I’m up around the Rochester area now. I do miss Decorah though. So much whimsicle fuckery there, much more than here!!! =)
#75 Naveedess- I am about 10 minutes to Leroy and what the fuck is it after that about 40 minutes to Rochester?? We are pretty close.
Yes here in Iowa and surrounding towns- whimsicle fuckery is what some could call the local craft shows and of course our Gas Station’s carry the funniest shit………….. so much so that some could and rightfully so be jealous. Are you North or South of Rochester- are we talkin like Oronoco or Racine or Steweratville- which reminds me of an airplane runway
Recovering Crack Baby, we are (as far as random internet things are concerned) as close as one butt cheek to the next! My roommate is from Le Roy, haha. I live in Chatfield, I work in PRESTON. HA!
December 3, 2009 at 2:50 pm
Is this for the angel ornament baby? We are trying to kill “her”, right?
December 3, 2009 at 2:52 pm
Oh my Gourd. I guess deer hooves are the new vagina, or something like that.
December 3, 2009 at 2:52 pm
Followed by baby’s first trip to the emergency room when he/she either chokes on yarn and feathers, or gets some kind of weird illness/poisoning from sucking on deer hooves. Nice.
December 3, 2009 at 2:53 pm
What part of this is not dangerous to children? Andrea Yates, take note.
December 3, 2009 at 2:54 pm
Someone doesn’t have a baby. Or else they’d know better.
December 3, 2009 at 2:55 pm
“Fun” must be a euphemism for “purchased at Walmart on clearance.”
December 3, 2009 at 2:56 pm
There’s something oddly testicular about this one…
December 3, 2009 at 2:58 pm
I can’t fucking believe it. ….really? …..REALLLY?
December 3, 2009 at 2:58 pm
Yeah, and I can practically smell the lead in the paint from here! And where the hell does she get all the deer hooves? She has them on several of her “rattles”. I really hope this aren’t actually meant for children and she didn’t think to use the word “shaker” instead.
December 3, 2009 at 2:58 pm
George Clinton has opened an Etsy shop. Guess Funk ain’t payin’ what it used to.
December 3, 2009 at 2:59 pm
This can’t possibly be for a baby… but then, in case it is…
My kids were fond of bopping themselves upside the head with their child-safe plush rattles.
“Imagine your child as “Rocky” with this as their first rattle!”
December 3, 2009 at 2:59 pm
I’m pretty sure this isn’t for kids at all — more like a rattle for spiritual/religious purposes, or for people who collect trinkets that look like they have some spiritual/religious purpose.
That said, I can’t make a real deer hoof and synthetic “fun yarn” (listed as a material, even) go together for either purpose. So who knows, maybe I’m wrong & it’s for babies after all. “And this was Gina’s first dead animal toy — she loved teething on the hooves!”
December 3, 2009 at 3:01 pm
Furry acorn? So you glued string to it and called it furry? How lovely. And they sell those hooves at the pet store…for dogs to chew on
December 3, 2009 at 3:04 pm
#11 comma, if it’s not for babies (or kids), why is the yarn “fun”? But if it is for babies, why is it tagged m”music, instrument, shaker”? Seller is confused
December 3, 2009 at 3:06 pm
It’s just a spooky rattling voodoo-ish instrument with dead things attached to it. I had this exact thing on my Christmas wish list.
December 3, 2009 at 3:07 pm
I went shopping for some “fun yarn” yesterday, but all the yarn at Michaels and Joannes looked so damned serious. So I tried writing “fun yarn” on my wife’s shopping list, but she brought home a bag of “Funyuns” and called me King of Stupid.
December 3, 2009 at 3:12 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
December 3, 2009 at 3:21 pm
‘Large gourd rattle with deer hooves, leather, fun yarn, furry acorn’
I DARE someone to google image search that phrase with the safe content filter off
December 3, 2009 at 3:24 pm
This reminds me of my 11th birthday, when my mom gave me a Native American “medicine bag” she made from a turtle shell and a tanned coyote face and a bunch of beads and feathers. She wanted me to save some of my first menstrual blood to keep in it or some shit.
Thanks for reminding me why I don’t talk to her anymore.
December 3, 2009 at 3:27 pm
Seriously, I don’t think it’s for babies. More like for the whimsicle who perform dances of indigenous people in faery glens with feathers and various animal parts as costume.
December 3, 2009 at 3:29 pm
#18 Moons in Leo : With pissed off, gimpy deer standing around…
December 3, 2009 at 3:30 pm
Who is the meanie who cuts off their hooves anyway?
December 3, 2009 at 3:32 pm
Addendum: I use the term “Native American” loosely, as my mother was not a Native American, just someone who became obsessed with everything Native American. It was just a phase she went through… if I recall it was right between the “militant feminist” period and the “cash in the 401k to buy a Harley and become a biker chick” episode.
December 3, 2009 at 3:33 pm
This looks like a diseased eggplant.
December 3, 2009 at 3:33 pm
Based on the person who hearts it, it’s gotta be for spirtual purposes.
Sadly this was literally made with feet [hooves].
December 3, 2009 at 3:34 pm
If Bambi had feet, she would kick her ass…
December 3, 2009 at 3:40 pm
#19 martini – or lying around, as the case may be.
December 3, 2009 at 3:42 pm
uuuhhhhh….. er……. EW!
#14 whyohwhy Nobody even vaguely involved in the Voodoo religion would want to touch this disgusting thing.
December 3, 2009 at 3:44 pm
#17 Addiosix: I just took your dare at (yes!) work and ended up spilling Funyuns all over my desk.
December 3, 2009 at 3:56 pm
I think this is for summoning the god of all things gaudy.
December 3, 2009 at 3:57 pm
“Deer hoof” = the new “camel toe.”
December 3, 2009 at 4:02 pm
It looks like one of those rare, crazy tumors that sometimes develop in people with hair and teeth in them. Except this rare crazy one formed in a deer.
December 3, 2009 at 4:06 pm
yeeeah this is something for white people to buy and add to their collection of dream catchers and wolf blankets. Not for babies.
December 3, 2009 at 4:14 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
December 3, 2009 at 4:22 pm
#16 Feel Free To Customise and Whimsiclise My Vagina, Don’t they sell kangaroo scrotum bags in Australia?
December 3, 2009 at 4:22 pm
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December 3, 2009 at 4:33 pm
#32 Dyno: Thanks for reminding me, I need to stop at Toys R Us on the way home and pick up a couple Hoppy Balls for Christmas presents.
December 3, 2009 at 4:45 pm
Kind of what I always imagined a piñata made out of a uterus would look like. Provided the uterus were spray painted, of course. Hey, wasn’t some of that crap also glued to that mirror?
December 3, 2009 at 4:46 pm
I’m going to buy this and send it to Bristol Palin for her baby.
December 3, 2009 at 4:57 pm
How fanciful! I’m taking the dry cleaner’s wrap out of the bassinet straight away, in favor of this toy.
December 3, 2009 at 5:21 pm
At the risk of being skewered by Ms.Killer, I doubt that this was intended as a baby rattle. Gourd rattles are used in Native American music as a pretty standard instrument. With the deer hoof and the acorn, this appears to me to be more of a Native American musical instrument than a baby rattle.
It’s still ugly.
December 3, 2009 at 5:25 pm
“It’s still ugly.”
Well, that’s good enough for me.
December 3, 2009 at 5:27 pm
I don’t think thats a gourd. Pretty sure its a deer scrotum.
December 3, 2009 at 5:50 pm
Great, #43. Now I have this image of the seller happily inflating her deer scrotums (scrotii?), then spray painting them, all while cheerfully humming the song that Thumper sang to Bambi….
December 3, 2009 at 5:58 pm
I get it, it’s a chew toy for my dog right?!!
December 3, 2009 at 6:04 pm
#43 lilprincess : Bambi is taking a beating…
December 3, 2009 at 6:25 pm
ooooh I bet that smells GREAT!
December 3, 2009 at 8:15 pm
Is this for the parent that doesn’t want to leave their baby’s mortality up to the uncertainty of SIDS?
December 3, 2009 at 9:29 pm
OH DEAR!!!Another case of untreated and undiagnosed mental illness on Etsy- I think Gourd told him to do this.
December 3, 2009 at 10:41 pm
Can anyone please tell me where these people are getting animal parts from? Is this some black market thing where the animal wakes up in a bath tub full of ice, missing a hoof/paw/whatever?
December 3, 2009 at 10:41 pm
I am betting a BUCK that these people drive around with antlers mounted on their car.
December 3, 2009 at 10:45 pm
#44 Don’t take Gourd’s name in vain.
December 3, 2009 at 10:46 pm
oops… sorry 44… I meant #49
December 3, 2009 at 11:24 pm
Praise the fairy goddess this has fun yarn and a fuzzy acorn! Now I can prance naked around the bonfire and summon whimsicles!
December 3, 2009 at 11:50 pm
#54 Bad_Wolf- We are going to need to see proof of that before we can rate your comment.
December 4, 2009 at 12:01 am
#55 Recovering Crack Baby: Only if you foot the bill for this whimsicle fuckery.
December 4, 2009 at 12:31 am
#29 Skully :
haha I am so curious to see what comes up, but I can’t do it!!
Google Image search with safe content filter turned off has already put the Fear of God in me.. and to tempt fate with a phrase ending in ‘furry acorn’
December 4, 2009 at 12:45 am
Where to get dead animal parts:
I grew up in Iowa, and live in Minnesota.
I could probably get deer hooves, cow skulls, and most likely freakin squirrel blood from anyone who hunts or farms (which is at least half of the population of every small town). *sigh*
December 4, 2009 at 2:30 am
its just plain ugly and tasteless
December 4, 2009 at 3:30 am
It’s an eggplant in drag.
December 4, 2009 at 3:39 am
Apparently it’s meant as some sort of native american thingamajig. From the seller’s profile:
“Critter aficionado, wildlife rehabber, hiker and general naturalist. Have interests in indigenous and primitive crafts, minerals and stones, Native American and Western European animal totem lore. Also a serious yarn magpie who should probably seek therapy.”
Yes. Yes, you should seek therapy. And not the kind you offer the wildlife you “rehab” since apparently that didn’t go well for…
December 4, 2009 at 3:40 am
the deer.
December 4, 2009 at 6:53 am
#55 Recovering Crack Baby: Only if you foot the bill for this whimsicle fuckery.
Not only can I foot it I will up it a notch and hoof it.
December 4, 2009 at 6:58 am
TO #58 Naveedess :
I am in IOWA and on a big ass Farm I can see the Minnesota border down my gravel road- not kidding either. I have no shame in admitting that we have a Cabin for Hunter’s whom come from everywhere for the Big Kill…….. so whadayah all need? I can hook you up- literally as we also live on the River?
December 4, 2009 at 7:46 am
yay! baby’s first severed foot of a woodland creature!
December 4, 2009 at 8:18 am
People who use dead animal shit in baby items ought to be taken out back and bitch slapped – by my baby.
*thwack!*
December 4, 2009 at 8:23 am
Apparently, this gourd is what you’ll turn into at midnight if you haven’t returned home wearing the Lady Chatterly’s Lover outfit.
December 4, 2009 at 9:23 am
This might be something Fran Lebowitz would give a child.
December 4, 2009 at 9:35 am
Okay, to play the devil’s advocate here, she does not use and tags for children or toys, but rather markets this as a musical instrument. It’s hideous and gross and unsanitary-looking, true.
Just sayin’.
December 4, 2009 at 9:36 am
*any*
jesus H.
December 4, 2009 at 9:53 am
this was on my registry. nobody got it for us, obviously
December 4, 2009 at 11:05 am
#50 Petsmart
December 4, 2009 at 11:06 am
#14
#41
It can be added to the instruments played by the cumberband.
always looking for new taint..I mean talent
December 4, 2009 at 11:33 am
Oh host of the hoary netherworld ~rattle, rattle~
please bestow thy blessings upon my humble dwelling with gifts of customized, whimsicle fuckery that I might frighten away relatives…er..protect my home this holiday season.
Amen
December 4, 2009 at 10:22 pm
#64 Recovering Crack Baby:
Oh yeah, don’t get me wrong. I don’t dislike hunters, farmers, or the small town I live in – (BTW – I grew up in Decorah – woo! go Iowa! lol) I think I was just “sighing” at the squirrel blood. lol.
I’m up around the Rochester area now. I do miss Decorah though. So much whimsicle fuckery there, much more than here!!! =)
December 5, 2009 at 6:42 am
#75 Naveedess- I am about 10 minutes to Leroy and what the fuck is it after that about 40 minutes to Rochester?? We are pretty close.
Yes here in Iowa and surrounding towns- whimsicle fuckery is what some could call the local craft shows and of course our Gas Station’s carry the funniest shit………….. so much so that some could and rightfully so be jealous. Are you North or South of Rochester- are we talkin like Oronoco or Racine or Steweratville- which reminds me of an airplane runway
December 22, 2009 at 5:01 am
Recovering Crack Baby, we are (as far as random internet things are concerned) as close as one butt cheek to the next! My roommate is from Le Roy, haha. I live in Chatfield, I work in PRESTON. HA!
April 23, 2011 at 12:00 am
Perfect last-minute gift for the parent who needs to get rid of the baby that won’t stop crying, but needs it to look like an accident.