Nightmare Before Christmas
Wow, this really brings me back! I remember when I was a kid, and we all used to fight over who got to put the screaming, cocoon-wrapped fetus on the tree. Good times.
150 comments on Nightmare Before Christmas
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December 2, 2009 at 3:01 pm
Yup. I looked at this and my first thought was, Jesus!!
December 2, 2009 at 3:01 pm
It looks like a snack for later for the effing Aliens!
December 2, 2009 at 3:02 pm
Ok just snorted my cup of tea out my nostrils
December 2, 2009 at 3:02 pm
Gosh, I must be blind! My first thought was Buddha!
December 2, 2009 at 3:03 pm
She’s not yawning cause she woke up, she’s screeeeeeeeaaaaaming in agony because she is hanging from a tree.
December 2, 2009 at 3:03 pm
WTF, this is supposed to be a GIRL angel? You gotta be shitting me.
December 2, 2009 at 3:03 pm
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=35160528
OMG check this one out
Baby needs his nappy changed (diaper)
December 2, 2009 at 3:04 pm
What’s with the screaming wino?
December 2, 2009 at 3:04 pm
Now I’m screaming because she’s $55.00!?!
December 2, 2009 at 3:05 pm
Which one is this… Sleepy, Sneezy or Grumpy?
December 2, 2009 at 3:05 pm
not jesus…they didn’t use any nails.
December 2, 2009 at 3:06 pm
she’s not yawning, she’s screaming in pain due to the burns all over her face!
December 2, 2009 at 3:06 pm
She says to *email her is she has any questions*
I definately have some questions, and I’m not waiting until Monday to ask my questions either.
December 2, 2009 at 3:07 pm
#1 Kimmer-G : Mine too… Jesus… Jesus H. Christ on a stick…
December 2, 2009 at 3:07 pm
YAWNING??? Are you effing kidding me??? That thing wants to crawl out of its cocoon and eat your soul through your eye sockets!!! I could almost accept the price if it were a Halloween decoration- that motherfarker is SCARY.
December 2, 2009 at 3:07 pm
OMG. I love this seller’s other things… but this??
I guess we all have some creepy craftyness in us? I know, I have clowns in my Shop people are horrified of.
December 2, 2009 at 3:09 pm
I didn´t know Mr. Magoo had a baby!
December 2, 2009 at 3:10 pm
On the plus side, at least it hasn’t chewed out of its cocoon yet.
December 2, 2009 at 3:10 pm
55 bucks for a horror-flick baby to hang from my tree? I should get it just so my relatives can talk some more shit about me behind my back.
December 2, 2009 at 3:10 pm
@#14 whyohwhy – If you post your shop web address in your world press account, it will give us a hyperlink and then we can all go see your scary clowns. Maybe one will make a great holiday decoration.
December 2, 2009 at 3:11 pm
Uh oh-Kitty Dukakis got into the rubbing alcohol again.
December 2, 2009 at 3:11 pm
The monster itself looks startlingly like Mr Magoo
December 2, 2009 at 3:12 pm
I think this baby may be crying because someone put her face on a hot stove. That, or she has a raging case of rosacea.
December 2, 2009 at 3:13 pm
@Dynomoose…lol…I thought the same thing!!
December 2, 2009 at 3:15 pm
Anyone else notice the starling similarity to Mrs. Fratelli from the Goonies?
December 2, 2009 at 3:18 pm
#10 martini :
Its the lost dwarf, Creepy.
December 2, 2009 at 3:18 pm
WTF does Fred Mertz have to do with Christmas?
December 2, 2009 at 3:20 pm
Nothing says Merry Christmas like the love child of W.C Fields and Sandra Bernhard.
December 2, 2009 at 3:21 pm
OMG! This think is just terrifying!! If I put something like this in my tree I’d be spending years on therapy for my kids for having traumatized them for life. It’s not a baby, it’s something that needs to be beaten with a stick!
December 2, 2009 at 3:22 pm
Is it weird that the first thing that popped into my head was the scene in the Hobbit where the party is in the Mirkwood forest and they get attacked by the spiders and hung up in spider webs?
Probably.
December 2, 2009 at 3:22 pm
that should say ‘: Creepy’ not ‘, Creepy’
my grammars hath failed me there (sorry about that)
December 2, 2009 at 3:24 pm
Uncle Fester? Thurston Howell III?
December 2, 2009 at 3:27 pm
#21 Dynomoose – Most definitely. That’s the first thing I thought when I saw it.
December 2, 2009 at 3:27 pm
#24 addiosix : On the plus side, there’s only one in stock…
December 2, 2009 at 3:28 pm
#28 addiosix : If seams to be contagious today…
December 2, 2009 at 3:28 pm
What a beautiful tree! But why is Winston Churchill on it?
December 2, 2009 at 3:29 pm
What the fuck is wrong with this person? It looks like this hell baby is still covered in vernix from his devil birth. This thing is horrifying!
December 2, 2009 at 3:30 pm
It looks like Mister MaGoo caught in a wildlife trap.
December 2, 2009 at 3:31 pm
@ #29 Actually its the child of Uncle Fester and Cousin Itt.
December 2, 2009 at 3:33 pm
Hmmm. I’m thinking these 2 hell babies might be Regretsy bait. She hasn’t sold any that I can see, and her shop is full of items that are nothing like these hell babies. Srsly, this shit is cute! http://www.etsy.com/view_transaction.php?transaction_id=21844805
December 2, 2009 at 3:33 pm
Did this seller also create the alien that popped out of John Hurt’s belly?
December 2, 2009 at 3:37 pm
You mean the baby *isn’t* screaming because Shelob is about to come back for snacktime? Could have fooled me.
December 2, 2009 at 3:41 pm
Sweet cinnamon jesus, that thing is heinous. And $55. What the fucking fuck??
December 2, 2009 at 3:43 pm
Jesus (Benjamin Button?) has a brother: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=35160528
Strange interpretation of swadling. Why does the seller rub Pepto Bismol on their faces?
They both look like something that would be floating in jars on the XFiles.
The seller’s other stuff is quite enjoyable though.
December 2, 2009 at 3:45 pm
@ Efit #36 — dunno, the full description says they’re made by her mother, so I’m actually persuaded that they’re legit. Plus, more things made by her mother: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=sr_gallery_5&listing_id=30748715&ga_search_query=baby&ga_search_type=user_shop_ttt_id_5076195 have similarly horrifying expressions, but less cocoon-and-tinsel factor. I’ll vote Not Bait, Some Poor Soul Really Thought This Was A Good Idea(l).
December 2, 2009 at 3:48 pm
Is it just me, or does it look like one of those creepy 3-D sonograms??
December 2, 2009 at 3:49 pm
This is NOT Christmas material, but a Satan worshiping.
I already find babies creepy..this is just plain scary.
I’m not even laughing..
December 2, 2009 at 3:49 pm
I first thought the description said ’10″ long from top to star of bottom’.
December 2, 2009 at 3:58 pm
Who hangs 10″ ornaments on their Christmas tree? Am I behind the times? Are huge ornaments the latest thing?
It would look good hung under a freeway overpass, just to see if anyone noticed.
December 2, 2009 at 3:59 pm
I love the sellers other items, though.
December 2, 2009 at 4:01 pm
the horror, the horror!
December 2, 2009 at 4:02 pm
#20 somethinghandmade: Well, I was trying to remain secret as I have a busy shop and lots of eyes looking. But I suppose since I Tweet about Regretsy all the time and I submitted Jesus on the Half Shell… the secret isnt’ a secret. Hell, maybe I should advertise on here. Here’s the creepy (vintage Japan) clowns in my shop:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=35238459
There… now I’ve opened a can of Regretsy worms.
December 2, 2009 at 4:14 pm
Well – that scared the crap out of me. And also confirms my belief that calling something or someone ‘special’ is ALWAYS an insult.
December 2, 2009 at 4:16 pm
The most terrifying thing about this is definitely its size. TEN inches?! I’d be afraid that the thing would jump off the tree and attack me, Chucky-style.
December 2, 2009 at 4:23 pm
#18 addiosix :
On the plus side, at least it hasn’t chewed out of its cocoon yet.
The operative word there is “yet”.
Unbeknownst to buyers, that’s exactly what will happen when she “wakes up on your tree”!! She will then proceed to shit on your presents & eat your children.
December 2, 2009 at 4:24 pm
How is this NOT #3 on the Advent calendar?! Good God. Is it possible you have found something even CREEPIER?
December 2, 2009 at 4:24 pm
#44 sillymerricat :http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=35160528
I think she used fish bait for those milky eyes. EWWWW.
December 2, 2009 at 4:29 pm
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=sr_gallery_5&listing_id=30748715&ga_search_query=baby&ga_search_type=user_shop_ttt_id_5076195
AUUUUUUGHH!!! This totally reminds me of those horrifying pro-life posters that you’d often accidentally see if you weren’t paying attention when you walked by the clinic in college. Bowl full of hell, anyone?!
December 2, 2009 at 4:29 pm
I think we should view this “In a Manger” just for the full effect…
December 2, 2009 at 4:34 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
December 2, 2009 at 4:39 pm
Whimsicalfuckerylover…. Sorta like the “trilogy of terror” doll…..bwahhaahaaahaaa
December 2, 2009 at 4:41 pm
#55 whimsicalfuckerylover :
oh holy crap, that was funny. I was calmly reading your reply and then, that last sentence… I just completely lost it.
I’m still laughing.
(Well played!)
December 2, 2009 at 4:46 pm
This thing reminds me of a joke I once heard:
A kid walks into a nursery, looks down at his newborn sibling then back to his mother. “Did you save the receipt?”
December 2, 2009 at 4:48 pm
…and whatever happened to good ol’ pretty shiny bright
tree ornaments for kids to hang on Christmas trees anyway? If my mom gave me this shrunken devil baby to decorate a tree with when I was a kid, I would cry!
December 2, 2009 at 4:50 pm
If my Mom made that and asked to put it in my Shop, I’d tell her she’s crazy.
December 2, 2009 at 4:52 pm
Thank heavens it is a OOAK and there are not hundreds of these critters running around. Is it me or does it look like the baby is in a straight jacket and then hung from a tree?
December 2, 2009 at 4:54 pm
I think this would be the ULTIMATE way for atheist parents to scare the Christ outta Christmas.
December 2, 2009 at 4:58 pm
The rest of her shop is so cute so I have to ask. Was the seller on whiskey/drugs when they came up with these angels??
If angels look like that, I’m a little leary about Heaven.
No way could I sleep with these gruesome atrocities hanging on the tree.
December 2, 2009 at 5:02 pm
that is fucking scary and there’s no other word for it.
December 2, 2009 at 5:02 pm
Christ on a Crispix.. There’s no way I can face putting up my tree, now, lest one of these hideous little monsters establish themselves within.
Of course, I *could* always buy it as a “gift” for my ex husband.
December 2, 2009 at 5:02 pm
Oh this takes me back to when Christmas morn we awoke to hanging the youngest upon the holy plastic tree.
December 2, 2009 at 5:03 pm
With the 5 o’clock shadow, I feel that all that’s missing is a fat stogie and glass of whiskey.
December 2, 2009 at 5:08 pm
Oh God there’s another one…
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=35160528
…this one looks like the spawn of Cousin Itt, Danny DeVito and Ted from Scrubs.
December 2, 2009 at 5:10 pm
Sure sure… I want to hang a TEN INCH screaming baby on my christmas tree….
December 2, 2009 at 5:31 pm
That is really creepy. Seriously, I think I might have nightmares…
But to be fair, a lot of newborns are pretty creepy.
Her other stuff is cute though!
December 2, 2009 at 5:36 pm
#52 whyohwhy – nope, sorry, no creepy ass dolls or clowns in your store. Some really cute things. Besides, we all respect those of us who come out of the etsy/regretsy closet with style!
December 2, 2009 at 5:36 pm
I definitely see Mr. Magoo with facial herpes
December 2, 2009 at 5:39 pm
That’s a real good thing you did to the baby Anthony, a real good thing! Now wish him into the cornfield.
December 2, 2009 at 5:52 pm
#72 LoriZig : I think it has dice in its little malformed hand… And it’s yelling “Come On Boxcars!” Wheeze… Wheeze…
December 2, 2009 at 5:53 pm
It looks like a mental patient.
December 2, 2009 at 5:56 pm
meh. Decorating the tree with babies is SO 2008.
December 2, 2009 at 6:12 pm
#73 itsnotschultz :Oh God there’s another one…
That’s Baby FishBait Eyes.
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=35160528
December 2, 2009 at 6:22 pm
#78…EXCELLENT comment Skully!!!
December 2, 2009 at 6:27 pm
nothing puts me in the Christmas spirit like an ornament of a baby born with depleted uranium exposure…
December 2, 2009 at 6:27 pm
a ten-inch-long ornament?! i’d only hang something that huge on my christmas tree if it was shaped like a dick.
December 2, 2009 at 6:28 pm
#83: Thanks. Actually, the last time something like this woke up in my tree, I had to call Terminex.
December 2, 2009 at 6:38 pm
Uh-oh, Dopey’s been fucking the sheep again!
December 2, 2009 at 6:45 pm
HOLY SHIT!! I can have Andrew Zimmern on my tree!! *squeals with delight*
December 2, 2009 at 6:52 pm
#78 win!
To me it looked like: Hoyaah(insert your own puke sound)…no more strained beets for me.
“On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me:”
a freakin’ huge Rosemary’s baby.
December 2, 2009 at 7:00 pm
Silent night…what a fright… OMG that is one ugly ass baby!
Oh wait, I get it – it’s the poster baby for birth control! I gotta call my GYN and make sure my tubes are still tied!
December 2, 2009 at 7:01 pm
I also dislodge my jaw when I yawn.
I wonder if this counts as a reborn ornament?
December 2, 2009 at 7:02 pm
For the Crazy Cat Lady who always wanted to be an astronaut…
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=35300158
December 2, 2009 at 7:06 pm
Haha my attempt at trying to correct the janky punctuation in #26 got such a low rating that it’s hidden now.
I love you guys to bits and pieces. You crack me up.
December 2, 2009 at 7:07 pm
It sort of reminds me of Kuato from Total Recall:
http://blogs.lasvegascitylife.com/wp-content/media/2008/04/kuato-blog.thumbnail.jpg
December 2, 2009 at 7:25 pm
ummmm……”brown haired yawning girl”?
(a) there is no hair, brown or otherwise;
(b) this looks like a screaming straitjacketed Mr. Magoo!
Holy fuck that thing is creepy. ((shudder))
December 2, 2009 at 7:41 pm
That’s it for me. I won’t be sleeping tonight.
December 2, 2009 at 7:43 pm
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I want to PUNT this thing into oblivion.
December 2, 2009 at 7:46 pm
On the upside, at least she’s not $8000!
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=140364543008&ssPageName=ADME:B:EF:US:1123#ht_500wt_1182
December 2, 2009 at 7:48 pm
Good Lord, I collect angels, and this thing scared the crap outta me.
December 2, 2009 at 7:59 pm
brown hair? no, that’s yellow paint.
yawning? no, that looks like screaming in pain.
ornament? no, it’s TEN inches. that’s huge.
and did you check out the closeup of the other baby ornament? someone gouged it’s eyes out. WTF.
December 2, 2009 at 8:13 pm
hmm. i can get fetus-baby dolls and gold pipe cleaner for 40% off with my coupon at michaels and the yarn shop has felting wool…i think i’ll terrify my entire family and give them fetus baby ornaments i made myself for christmas this year.
December 2, 2009 at 8:17 pm
Don’t angels have wings?
December 2, 2009 at 8:34 pm
#66 MyEyesMyEyes: *This* one is OOAK, but there is at least one other one, the main difference being the other one is not screaming, but it is nearly as horrifying.
December 2, 2009 at 8:49 pm
Just when I thought there were no words for this item…Wah-Lah 103 comments. I love coming home to regretsy every night
December 2, 2009 at 9:00 pm
LOL you kill me skully
December 2, 2009 at 9:07 pm
#102, not the fallen ones, and this one definitely is the spawn of Satan.
I can’t believe no one noticed the resemblance:
http://www.oxideradio.co.uk/shows/contemporary_scandinavian_music/TheScream.jpg
December 2, 2009 at 9:10 pm
HOLY Jesus on a stick!!! This just creeps me right the hell out and then some!
December 2, 2009 at 9:16 pm
Is it as sticky as it looks? Nativity Flystrips–hang them (yes!) at work!
December 2, 2009 at 9:53 pm
#58, Jesus effing christ, it’s a bowl of fucking HEADS!
December 2, 2009 at 10:13 pm
#105: Thanks. I forgot to put a comma between “baby” and “Anthony” and it’s really bugging the fuck outta me.
December 2, 2009 at 10:49 pm
pls also file this one under *Delusional* too thx
December 2, 2009 at 10:53 pm
Helen, can we view this in a womb?
December 2, 2009 at 11:01 pm
my son totally wants this on a t-shirt
December 3, 2009 at 12:05 am
@112
Holy crap, I nearly wet myself. DO IT DO IT DO IT!!!
December 3, 2009 at 3:32 am
Arrrgh…view in womb….scaaaaary.
December 3, 2009 at 4:27 am
England would find this very insulting mocking Winston Churchill this way.
December 3, 2009 at 5:12 am
Looks like it needs some Desitin for the diaper rash on its face. Maybe that is why it appears to be howling like a banshee. Then there is the bonus of the severe eczema on its hands and feet.
December 3, 2009 at 5:43 am
Apparently her collection of “Baby Died in Agony” deathmasks weren’t getting put to enough use.
December 3, 2009 at 6:15 am
Girl? Brown hair? Sorry, I don’t see a baby……..I see an old bald-headed man being tortured.
December 3, 2009 at 7:25 am
What. The. HELL???
Bloody creepy.
December 3, 2009 at 7:52 am
It looks like Uncle Fester with heartburn
December 3, 2009 at 8:03 am
Someone a while back made the comment that newborn babies can be ugly…kinda inferring how this one came to look like this. My youngest (now 14) was a premie and arrived 7 weeks early. He looked like a little old man with absolutely no muscle tone (and no butt cheeks). But even with all of that working against him he was still cute and nowhere near this monstrosity. I double checked the newborn photo just in case mommy had too many drugs at the hospital.
December 3, 2009 at 8:30 am
it reminds me of those scenes in “aliens” where the creature tears its way out of various people’s stomachs….except the alien was cuter than this one-armed, one-legged yowling horror
December 3, 2009 at 8:53 am
Hee! Thistle, “one-armed, one-legged yowling horror” is my new nickname for…well, someone. I’ll figure it out. It just has too good of a ring NOT to use.
December 3, 2009 at 9:32 am
whats with the grubby pink cheeks.
Its 10″ long for Christ’s sake! Seriously…hold your hands up at approximately 10″. That’s how long this thing it! It would be one thing if it could be hidden in the branches at a mere 2″ (say, if you kid made it as sunday school and you had to post it for fear of hurting their feelings until by some stroke of ‘luck’ it gets lost and they hopefully forget all about it next year)-but the thing is huge! It will be THE focus on the tree! Who…
December 3, 2009 at 9:35 am
Wow..there are some typos there!
Side note, my husband, who usually couldn’t care less, saw this over my shoulder and cracked up asking why there is a pissed off crying baby hanging outside in a caccoon.
December 3, 2009 at 10:05 am
however, this thing is really cool and i want it on my desk.
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=35121434
December 3, 2009 at 11:04 am
This thing brings to mind all the baby books I nervously read when my wife was expecting:
“If your infant chokes on a foreign object during the holidays, wrap golden garland tightly around him/her directly below the rib cage and pull firmly. This should expel the object.”
December 3, 2009 at 11:30 am
#66
When it hatches, there will be………….
December 3, 2009 at 11:32 am
@#102 Pussdaddy
not til they hatch
December 3, 2009 at 11:37 am
another use for the Eagle Hat
December 3, 2009 at 11:42 am
#93 When I see those hidden comments, I cannot resist. I must see it!
December 3, 2009 at 11:43 am
I just realized this thing is almost 2 full inches longer than my foot- granted I have small feet, but that’s one hell of an “ornament”.
December 3, 2009 at 12:56 pm
This ornament is a casual reminder of why you got the vasectomy/hysterectomy.
December 3, 2009 at 1:52 pm
i know what you mean #122, my preemie had ears on his neck and he was still cuter than this
December 3, 2009 at 3:00 pm
OMG http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=35160528
Can you imagine going to someone else’s house and seeing a tree decorated with these things? Really, imagine it. I used to know this weird guy in college that had a collection of Madonnas and other weird cemetery art all over his apartment. That was freaky. Not nearly as freaky as a tree full of sculpted babies in alien caccoons would be. I’d feel like someone needed to started digging out the backyard.
December 3, 2009 at 3:04 pm
Aw…she was on Martha! She’s cute as a button.
http://www.marthastewart.com/article/eggs-in-nest-centerpiece?autonomy_kw=Eggs-in-Nest%20Centerpiece&rsc=header_1
December 3, 2009 at 4:27 pm
It kinda looks like a baby got trapped in one of those machines with a moth, like that guy got trapped in one with a fly in that movie The Fly, and the baby came out the other end with moth parts. Or the moth came out the other end with baby parts. Take your pick. But most importantly, swat it with a fly swatter or hit it with some Raid.
December 3, 2009 at 5:09 pm
Oh Magoo, you’ve done it again!
December 3, 2009 at 6:48 pm
133 Kathleen Shimp, I’d rather have your dismembered foot hanging from my tree.
December 4, 2009 at 2:21 am
Awww, it looks like she took it off Etsy.
December 4, 2009 at 2:21 am
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=35289349
Whale or petrified dildo? You decide.
December 4, 2009 at 10:37 am
That’s one way to keep the Trainspotting baby from crawling across your ceiling.
December 4, 2009 at 11:48 am
that is not a yawn. At all.
December 4, 2009 at 9:22 pm
In many cultures around the world, Christmas is celebrated with a pinata.
Mayans celebrated holy days with live human sacrifice.
This one of a kind sculpture blends old with new, to pay homage to both Christian and pre-Christian civilizations.
December 7, 2009 at 10:10 am
i want my ornaments to look like the actual BIRTH. where’s the vagina, dammit?
December 14, 2009 at 9:17 pm
You have made me so happy – I can’t stop laughing @ your description of the ornament!
February 9, 2011 at 1:49 am
Killer Klowns from Outer Space, anyone?
http://www.eccentric-cinema.com/cult_movies/killer_klowns.htm
August 15, 2011 at 2:41 am
That would be a scary thing to have on my Christmas tree. Imagining waking up in the morning groggily walking to the tree to open up your presents, and seeing this creature staring you in the face. Absolutely horrendous! I wonder why they even made it…
December 21, 2011 at 8:33 pm
My first thought was…. “Ack! Looks just like Winston Churchill!”