Wow, this really brings me back! I remember when I was a kid, and we all used to fight over who got to put the screaming, cocoon-wrapped fetus on the tree. Good times.
Yup. I looked at this and my first thought was, Jesus!!
It looks like a snack for later for the effing Aliens!
Ok just snorted my cup of tea out my nostrils
Gosh, I must be blind! My first thought was Buddha!
She’s not yawning cause she woke up, she’s screeeeeeeeaaaaaming in agony because she is hanging from a tree.
WTF, this is supposed to be a GIRL angel? You gotta be shitting me.
OMG check this one out
Baby needs his nappy changed (diaper)
What’s with the screaming wino?
Now I’m screaming because she’s $55.00!?!
Which one is this… Sleepy, Sneezy or Grumpy?
not jesus…they didn’t use any nails.
she’s not yawning, she’s screaming in pain due to the burns all over her face!
She says to *email her is she has any questions*
I definately have some questions, and I’m not waiting until Monday to ask my questions either.
#1 Kimmer-G : Mine too… Jesus… Jesus H. Christ on a stick…
YAWNING??? Are you effing kidding me??? That thing wants to crawl out of its cocoon and eat your soul through your eye sockets!!! I could almost accept the price if it were a Halloween decoration- that motherfarker is SCARY.
OMG. I love this seller’s other things… but this??
I guess we all have some creepy craftyness in us? I know, I have clowns in my Shop people are horrified of.
I didn´t know Mr. Magoo had a baby!
On the plus side, at least it hasn’t chewed out of its cocoon yet.
55 bucks for a horror-flick baby to hang from my tree? I should get it just so my relatives can talk some more shit about me behind my back.
@#14 whyohwhy – If you post your shop web address in your world press account, it will give us a hyperlink and then we can all go see your scary clowns. Maybe one will make a great holiday decoration.
Uh oh-Kitty Dukakis got into the rubbing alcohol again.
The monster itself looks startlingly like Mr Magoo
I think this baby may be crying because someone put her face on a hot stove. That, or she has a raging case of rosacea.
@Dynomoose…lol…I thought the same thing!!
Anyone else notice the starling similarity to Mrs. Fratelli from the Goonies?
#10 martini :
Its the lost dwarf, Creepy.
WTF does Fred Mertz have to do with Christmas?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like the love child of W.C Fields and Sandra Bernhard.
OMG! This think is just terrifying!! If I put something like this in my tree I’d be spending years on therapy for my kids for having traumatized them for life. It’s not a baby, it’s something that needs to be beaten with a stick!
Is it weird that the first thing that popped into my head was the scene in the Hobbit where the party is in the Mirkwood forest and they get attacked by the spiders and hung up in spider webs?
that should say ‘: Creepy’ not ‘, Creepy’
my grammars hath failed me there (sorry about that)
Uncle Fester? Thurston Howell III?
#21 Dynomoose – Most definitely. That’s the first thing I thought when I saw it.
#24 addiosix : On the plus side, there’s only one in stock…
#28 addiosix : If seams to be contagious today…
What a beautiful tree! But why is Winston Churchill on it?
What the fuck is wrong with this person? It looks like this hell baby is still covered in vernix from his devil birth. This thing is horrifying!
It looks like Mister MaGoo caught in a wildlife trap.
@ #29 Actually its the child of Uncle Fester and Cousin Itt.
Hmmm. I’m thinking these 2 hell babies might be Regretsy bait. She hasn’t sold any that I can see, and her shop is full of items that are nothing like these hell babies. Srsly, this shit is cute! http://www.etsy.com/view_transaction.php?transaction_id=21844805
Did this seller also create the alien that popped out of John Hurt’s belly?
You mean the baby *isn’t* screaming because Shelob is about to come back for snacktime? Could have fooled me.
Sweet cinnamon jesus, that thing is heinous. And $55. What the fucking fuck??
Jesus (Benjamin Button?) has a brother: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=35160528
Strange interpretation of swadling. Why does the seller rub Pepto Bismol on their faces?
They both look like something that would be floating in jars on the XFiles.
The seller’s other stuff is quite enjoyable though.
@ Efit #36 — dunno, the full description says they’re made by her mother, so I’m actually persuaded that they’re legit. Plus, more things made by her mother: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=sr_gallery_5&listing_id=30748715&ga_search_query=baby&ga_search_type=user_shop_ttt_id_5076195 have similarly horrifying expressions, but less cocoon-and-tinsel factor. I’ll vote Not Bait, Some Poor Soul Really Thought This Was A Good Idea(l).
Is it just me, or does it look like one of those creepy 3-D sonograms??
This is NOT Christmas material, but a Satan worshiping.
I already find babies creepy..this is just plain scary.
I’m not even laughing..
I first thought the description said ’10″ long from top to star of bottom’.
Who hangs 10″ ornaments on their Christmas tree? Am I behind the times? Are huge ornaments the latest thing?
It would look good hung under a freeway overpass, just to see if anyone noticed.
I love the sellers other items, though.
the horror, the horror!
#20 somethinghandmade: Well, I was trying to remain secret as I have a busy shop and lots of eyes looking. But I suppose since I Tweet about Regretsy all the time and I submitted Jesus on the Half Shell… the secret isnt’ a secret. Hell, maybe I should advertise on here. Here’s the creepy (vintage Japan) clowns in my shop:
There… now I’ve opened a can of Regretsy worms.
Well – that scared the crap out of me. And also confirms my belief that calling something or someone ‘special’ is ALWAYS an insult.
The most terrifying thing about this is definitely its size. TEN inches?! I’d be afraid that the thing would jump off the tree and attack me, Chucky-style.
#18 addiosix :
On the plus side, at least it hasn’t chewed out of its cocoon yet.
The operative word there is “yet”.
Unbeknownst to buyers, that’s exactly what will happen when she “wakes up on your tree”!! She will then proceed to shit on your presents & eat your children.
How is this NOT #3 on the Advent calendar?! Good God. Is it possible you have found something even CREEPIER?
#44 sillymerricat :http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=35160528
I think she used fish bait for those milky eyes. EWWWW.
AUUUUUUGHH!!! This totally reminds me of those horrifying pro-life posters that you’d often accidentally see if you weren’t paying attention when you walked by the clinic in college. Bowl full of hell, anyone?!
I think we should view this “In a Manger” just for the full effect…
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
Fucking hell…. Here I go. I accidentally posted this remark on the half-shell booger baby post.
“who made this baby eat so much shit, it’s all over his face??”
Whimsicalfuckerylover…. Sorta like the “trilogy of terror” doll…..bwahhaahaaahaaa
#55 whimsicalfuckerylover :
oh holy crap, that was funny. I was calmly reading your reply and then, that last sentence… I just completely lost it.
I’m still laughing.
This thing reminds me of a joke I once heard:
A kid walks into a nursery, looks down at his newborn sibling then back to his mother. “Did you save the receipt?”
…and whatever happened to good ol’ pretty shiny bright
tree ornaments for kids to hang on Christmas trees anyway? If my mom gave me this shrunken devil baby to decorate a tree with when I was a kid, I would cry!
If my Mom made that and asked to put it in my Shop, I’d tell her she’s crazy.
Thank heavens it is a OOAK and there are not hundreds of these critters running around. Is it me or does it look like the baby is in a straight jacket and then hung from a tree?
I think this would be the ULTIMATE way for atheist parents to scare the Christ outta Christmas.
The rest of her shop is so cute so I have to ask. Was the seller on whiskey/drugs when they came up with these angels??
If angels look like that, I’m a little leary about Heaven.
No way could I sleep with these gruesome atrocities hanging on the tree.
that is fucking scary and there’s no other word for it.
Christ on a Crispix.. There’s no way I can face putting up my tree, now, lest one of these hideous little monsters establish themselves within.
Of course, I *could* always buy it as a “gift” for my ex husband.
Oh this takes me back to when Christmas morn we awoke to hanging the youngest upon the holy plastic tree.
With the 5 o’clock shadow, I feel that all that’s missing is a fat stogie and glass of whiskey.
Oh God there’s another one…
…this one looks like the spawn of Cousin Itt, Danny DeVito and Ted from Scrubs.
Sure sure… I want to hang a TEN INCH screaming baby on my christmas tree….
That is really creepy. Seriously, I think I might have nightmares…
But to be fair, a lot of newborns are pretty creepy.
Her other stuff is cute though!
#52 whyohwhy – nope, sorry, no creepy ass dolls or clowns in your store. Some really cute things. Besides, we all respect those of us who come out of the etsy/regretsy closet with style!
I definitely see Mr. Magoo with facial herpes
That’s a real good thing you did to the baby Anthony, a real good thing! Now wish him into the cornfield.
#72 LoriZig : I think it has dice in its little malformed hand… And it’s yelling “Come On Boxcars!” Wheeze… Wheeze…
It looks like a mental patient.
meh. Decorating the tree with babies is SO 2008.
#73 itsnotschultz :Oh God there’s another one…
That’s Baby FishBait Eyes.
#78…EXCELLENT comment Skully!!!
nothing puts me in the Christmas spirit like an ornament of a baby born with depleted uranium exposure…
a ten-inch-long ornament?! i’d only hang something that huge on my christmas tree if it was shaped like a dick.
#83: Thanks. Actually, the last time something like this woke up in my tree, I had to call Terminex.
Uh-oh, Dopey’s been fucking the sheep again!
HOLY SHIT!! I can have Andrew Zimmern on my tree!! *squeals with delight*
To me it looked like: Hoyaah(insert your own puke sound)…no more strained beets for me.
“On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me:”
a freakin’ huge Rosemary’s baby.
Silent night…what a fright… OMG that is one ugly ass baby!
Oh wait, I get it – it’s the poster baby for birth control! I gotta call my GYN and make sure my tubes are still tied!
I also dislodge my jaw when I yawn.
I wonder if this counts as a reborn ornament?
For the Crazy Cat Lady who always wanted to be an astronaut…
Haha my attempt at trying to correct the janky punctuation in #26 got such a low rating that it’s hidden now.
I love you guys to bits and pieces. You crack me up.
It sort of reminds me of Kuato from Total Recall:
ummmm……”brown haired yawning girl”?
(a) there is no hair, brown or otherwise;
(b) this looks like a screaming straitjacketed Mr. Magoo!
Holy fuck that thing is creepy. ((shudder))
That’s it for me. I won’t be sleeping tonight.
I want to PUNT this thing into oblivion.
On the upside, at least she’s not $8000!
Good Lord, I collect angels, and this thing scared the crap outta me.
brown hair? no, that’s yellow paint.
yawning? no, that looks like screaming in pain.
ornament? no, it’s TEN inches. that’s huge.
and did you check out the closeup of the other baby ornament? someone gouged it’s eyes out. WTF.
hmm. i can get fetus-baby dolls and gold pipe cleaner for 40% off with my coupon at michaels and the yarn shop has felting wool…i think i’ll terrify my entire family and give them fetus baby ornaments i made myself for christmas this year.
Don’t angels have wings?
#66 MyEyesMyEyes: *This* one is OOAK, but there is at least one other one, the main difference being the other one is not screaming, but it is nearly as horrifying.
Just when I thought there were no words for this item…Wah-Lah 103 comments. I love coming home to regretsy every night
LOL you kill me skully
#102, not the fallen ones, and this one definitely is the spawn of Satan.
I can’t believe no one noticed the resemblance:
HOLY Jesus on a stick!!! This just creeps me right the hell out and then some!
Is it as sticky as it looks? Nativity Flystrips–hang them (yes!) at work!
#58, Jesus effing christ, it’s a bowl of fucking HEADS!
#105: Thanks. I forgot to put a comma between “baby” and “Anthony” and it’s really bugging the fuck outta me.
pls also file this one under *Delusional* too thx
Helen, can we view this in a womb?
my son totally wants this on a t-shirt
Holy crap, I nearly wet myself. DO IT DO IT DO IT!!!
Arrrgh…view in womb….scaaaaary.
England would find this very insulting mocking Winston Churchill this way.
Looks like it needs some Desitin for the diaper rash on its face. Maybe that is why it appears to be howling like a banshee. Then there is the bonus of the severe eczema on its hands and feet.
Apparently her collection of “Baby Died in Agony” deathmasks weren’t getting put to enough use.
Girl? Brown hair? Sorry, I don’t see a baby……..I see an old bald-headed man being tortured.
What. The. HELL???
It looks like Uncle Fester with heartburn
Someone a while back made the comment that newborn babies can be ugly…kinda inferring how this one came to look like this. My youngest (now 14) was a premie and arrived 7 weeks early. He looked like a little old man with absolutely no muscle tone (and no butt cheeks). But even with all of that working against him he was still cute and nowhere near this monstrosity. I double checked the newborn photo just in case mommy had too many drugs at the hospital.
it reminds me of those scenes in “aliens” where the creature tears its way out of various people’s stomachs….except the alien was cuter than this one-armed, one-legged yowling horror
Hee! Thistle, “one-armed, one-legged yowling horror” is my new nickname for…well, someone. I’ll figure it out. It just has too good of a ring NOT to use.
whats with the grubby pink cheeks.
Its 10″ long for Christ’s sake! Seriously…hold your hands up at approximately 10″. That’s how long this thing it! It would be one thing if it could be hidden in the branches at a mere 2″ (say, if you kid made it as sunday school and you had to post it for fear of hurting their feelings until by some stroke of ‘luck’ it gets lost and they hopefully forget all about it next year)-but the thing is huge! It will be THE focus on the tree! Who…
Wow..there are some typos there!
Side note, my husband, who usually couldn’t care less, saw this over my shoulder and cracked up asking why there is a pissed off crying baby hanging outside in a caccoon.
however, this thing is really cool and i want it on my desk.
This thing brings to mind all the baby books I nervously read when my wife was expecting:
“If your infant chokes on a foreign object during the holidays, wrap golden garland tightly around him/her directly below the rib cage and pull firmly. This should expel the object.”
When it hatches, there will be………….
not til they hatch
another use for the Eagle Hat
#93 When I see those hidden comments, I cannot resist. I must see it!
I just realized this thing is almost 2 full inches longer than my foot- granted I have small feet, but that’s one hell of an “ornament”.
This ornament is a casual reminder of why you got the vasectomy/hysterectomy.
i know what you mean #122, my preemie had ears on his neck and he was still cuter than this
Can you imagine going to someone else’s house and seeing a tree decorated with these things? Really, imagine it. I used to know this weird guy in college that had a collection of Madonnas and other weird cemetery art all over his apartment. That was freaky. Not nearly as freaky as a tree full of sculpted babies in alien caccoons would be. I’d feel like someone needed to started digging out the backyard.
Aw…she was on Martha! She’s cute as a button.
It kinda looks like a baby got trapped in one of those machines with a moth, like that guy got trapped in one with a fly in that movie The Fly, and the baby came out the other end with moth parts. Or the moth came out the other end with baby parts. Take your pick. But most importantly, swat it with a fly swatter or hit it with some Raid.
Oh Magoo, you’ve done it again!
133 Kathleen Shimp, I’d rather have your dismembered foot hanging from my tree.
Awww, it looks like she took it off Etsy.
Whale or petrified dildo? You decide.
That’s one way to keep the Trainspotting baby from crawling across your ceiling.
that is not a yawn. At all.
In many cultures around the world, Christmas is celebrated with a pinata.
Mayans celebrated holy days with live human sacrifice.
This one of a kind sculpture blends old with new, to pay homage to both Christian and pre-Christian civilizations.
i want my ornaments to look like the actual BIRTH. where’s the vagina, dammit?
You have made me so happy – I can’t stop laughing @ your description of the ornament!
Killer Klowns from Outer Space, anyone?
That would be a scary thing to have on my Christmas tree. Imagining waking up in the morning groggily walking to the tree to open up your presents, and seeing this creature staring you in the face. Absolutely horrendous! I wonder why they even made it…
My first thought was…. “Ack! Looks just like Winston Churchill!”
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