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The Regretsy Advent Calendar: 12/1

Posted by Helen Killer

57 comments

Filed in Holidays 57 comments

57 Comments

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Dec 1, 2009
8:28 am

#1 regretsyfan :

Ahahahaha- I love you Helen Killer. This is awesome.

Rate this comment: +9

Dec 1, 2009
8:30 am

#2 comma_splicer :

*tumbles headlong into the uncanny valley*

Rate this comment: +6

Dec 1, 2009
8:31 am

#3 hammerhead77 :

OK, I just woke up, I’m having a little morning frappuccino over here, check my email, hop over to Regretsy, and, oh, look, Helen has posted an advent calendar! Wonder what this is… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Helen, you are so getting my therapy bill!!

Rate this comment: +61

Dec 1, 2009
8:32 am

#4 LoriZig :

Brilliant! Can we get an 8-day bonus for Hanukkah???

Rate this comment: +13

Dec 1, 2009
8:34 am

#5 Tabbie :

Thank you Helen, I thought I’d never get into the spirit this season.

What a gem.

Rate this comment: +18

Dec 1, 2009
8:35 am

#6 blablover5 :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -83

Dec 1, 2009
8:36 am

#7 addiosix :

I just clicked that large picture with the numbers and ‘Strangled then Shoved in a Barrel and Sealed off in Some Attic for 25 Years with Baking Soda to Avert the Stench But Isn’t My Dress Fantastic?!’ Barbie just looked at me funny

Rate this comment: +66

Dec 1, 2009
8:38 am

#8 weberly :

you’re an ass helen. am i the only one who thought we could actually flip all those doors open right now?

Rate this comment: +90

Dec 1, 2009
8:38 am

#9 pottery123 :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -58

Dec 1, 2009
8:38 am

#10 AnonymousBastard :

I hate you so much. I clicked on 16 and had coffee go down the wrong pipe. I’m still coughing.

Rate this comment: +16

Dec 1, 2009
8:39 am

#11 vangoghbabe :

I feel like decorating my tree now.

Rate this comment: +12

Dec 1, 2009
8:40 am

#12 bumblepuppy :

Am I the only one hoping there will be a new treat every day?

Rate this comment: +45

Dec 1, 2009
8:40 am

#13 turtlegirl76 :

It’s like a knock-off Tim Burton doll. Only not as nice as a real knock off would be. This is like it’s cheap plastic cousin.

Rate this comment: +10

Dec 1, 2009
8:41 am

#14 HermesGoddess :

GAH!!!
I wish I were close personal friends with Tim Burton, though, because I’m sure he would LOVE that….thing.

Rate this comment: +3

Dec 1, 2009
8:42 am

#15 HermesGoddess :

Dammit. TurtleGirl beat me to the Tim Burton reference by a few moments.

Rate this comment: +2

Dec 1, 2009
8:42 am

#16 AnonymousBastard :

Jesus, I thought each door was a different page. Thank god. There’s only so much shit I can handle in one post.

Rate this comment: +31

Dec 1, 2009
8:44 am

#17 lilprincess :

Seriously, an advent calendar? I’m so excited I could pee!

Rate this comment: +26

Dec 1, 2009
8:44 am

#18 Helen Killer :

You can only open one a day. The whole page is today’s link.

And yes, we should absolutely have Channukah listings!

Rate this comment: +29

Dec 1, 2009
8:47 am

#19 addiosix :

Coming Soon Kiddies: ‘Burned Beyond Recognition & ID’ed by Dental Records’ Skipper, and ‘Discolored Bloated Floating Down the River’ Ken

Rate this comment: +80

Dec 1, 2009
8:48 am

#20 personalearthquake :

brilliant Helen.

Rate this comment: +8

Dec 1, 2009
8:49 am

#21 Honest Ape :

Yikes! It’s MaliBOO Barbie!

Rate this comment: +8

Dec 1, 2009
8:50 am

#22 Recovering Crack Baby :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -34

Dec 1, 2009
8:56 am

#23 bootsychoo :

#22 Recovering Crack Baby: Your question marks confuse me.

Rate this comment: +9

Dec 1, 2009
8:58 am

#24 lemonicicle :

When I got up this morning and watched my daughters open their advent calendars I was a little jealous as they ate their tiny squares of chocolate.

This is so much better than chocolate, thank you Helen!

Rate this comment: +25

Dec 1, 2009
8:58 am

#25 Frankenkitty :

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me Beelzebub, Lord of the Flies, and Cthulhu in a pear tree. I so want the twins!

Rate this comment: +44

Dec 1, 2009
9:00 am

#26 carecaribou :

#10 AnonymousBastard: Ah. Good to know I’m not the only one who opened up every door on the advent calendar the second Mom wasn’t looking.

Rate this comment: +18

Dec 1, 2009
9:00 am

#27 Recovering Crack Baby :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -20

Dec 1, 2009
9:02 am

#28 hammerhead77 :

I will honor Regretsy in my heart and try to keep it all the year. I will buy a Say What necklace and pre-order a book on Amazon. The spirits of vaginas and fairies shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons they teach. I…I am not the woman I was!! Spirit, tell me that I may sponge this Etsy item from my brain!!

Rate this comment: +21

Dec 1, 2009
9:03 am

#29 bootsychoo :

Helen, I could kiss you, like Adam Lambert kissed that keyboard player on the AMAs.

Rate this comment: +11

Dec 1, 2009
9:04 am

#30 spareGus :

dear god, that really is frightening. it would make an awesome halloween prop.

Rate this comment: -2

Dec 1, 2009
9:09 am

#31 lemonicicle :

Is anyone else confused about this thing in her shop? http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=33223444

Rate this comment: +5

Dec 1, 2009
9:18 am

#32 CelticDiva :

And suddenly, there was with the angels, a multitude of the Heavenly Host, praising God and saying…. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Holy Freakin’ Crap! Get back under your rock!!!!

Rate this comment: +16

Dec 1, 2009
9:29 am

#33 pdrunk :

Nothing wakes me up in the morning than being eye raped by etsy. The scary thing is this reminds me of the time I temped at Maxfield’s and the creepy owner guy want me to print out pictures of shrunken heads he was being offered to bid on. Now I know why.

Rate this comment: +18

Dec 1, 2009
9:34 am

#34 HelenaHandbasket :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -8

Dec 1, 2009
9:35 am

#35 everydaymama1 :

I shall decorate my tree with festive felted vag’s, “say what” ornaments, and whimsicle fuckery! Fa-la-la-la-la!

Rate this comment: +5

Dec 1, 2009
9:39 am

#36 bootsychoo :

That reminds me, I need to stop at Target to pick up 2 more packs of whimsicles. I like a really shiny Christmas tree…

Rate this comment: +17

Dec 1, 2009
9:59 am

#37 Whisperia :

I like the dress. But somehow I don’t think I see this fitting into the annual decorating festivities with the kids… “Mommy, mommy! Can I put out the Christmas corpse?”

Rate this comment: +17

Dec 1, 2009
10:02 am

#38 sillymerricat :

THIS…Is fantastic! I am crossing my fingers that you do a Regretsy themed Christmas tree! And did you allude to a Regretsy Menorah?!?!?!

And yeah, I totally tried to open several numbers, ’cause I’m a peeker like that. Helen knows we have no self control!

Rate this comment: +7

Dec 1, 2009
10:02 am

#39 Hoosier Dada :

She might get away with defacing a Barbie, but she better not fuck with G.I. Joe, he’s got Kung Fu grip.

Rate this comment: +10

Dec 1, 2009
10:07 am

#40 Honest Ape :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -14

Dec 1, 2009
10:24 am

#41 whyohwhy :

Wishing it had sound effects.

Rate this comment: +5

Dec 1, 2009
10:42 am

#42 Elegant :

I’m scared to open my own advent calendar now..and damned if I will eat chocolate after seeing that.

Rate this comment: +8

Dec 1, 2009
10:50 am

#43 juzcuzucan :

Best advent calendar of all time. Now the holidays might be worthwile. Did anyone happen to glance through the rest of this person’s listings? As in, the ones using HUMAN BONES? Since when is that a selling point?

Rate this comment: +10

Dec 1, 2009
10:54 am

#44 Bad_Wolf :

I’m 27 and my mother still gives me those calendars with the little chocolates. I dare say this is more exciting though!

I imagine this artist was one those people who, as a child, attempted to mummify small rodents and had elaborate ceremonies with her Barbies as human sacrifices.

Rate this comment: +11

Dec 1, 2009
11:02 am

#45 Bad_Wolf :

Hmm… speaking of human sacrifices, with this rating system, it seems you’re really subject to the whim of the masses. One wrong move and WAH-LAH! your comment is hidden from low rating. Just saying.

Rate this comment: +2

Dec 1, 2009
11:11 am

#46 AwwwwwwwSnap :

It would be a bonus to find out she had used her vagina to make this doll’s head. That would truly make it *whimsiclicious*. I think it’s a great ideal.

Rate this comment: +5

Dec 1, 2009
11:37 am

#47 babalu :

“On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a hand sculpted ghostly Barbie.”

In the harried midst of preparing for the holidays: making card lists, writing cards, trying to actually (yes!)work at my job, making gift lists, stressing about the who/what/when of gift giving, I have the good fortune to see this! Truly makes the countdown to Christmas worthwhile. Brilliant! Thanks Helen!

Rate this comment: +4

Dec 1, 2009
12:02 pm

#48 Skully :

Is this doll from the “Barbie and Kenneth Bianchi” collection?

Rate this comment: 0

Dec 1, 2009
12:55 pm

#49 NinjaGato :

Here’s an advent calendar I actually like.

$99 for a “wonderdul” fucked up barbie.
Just let me get my credit card.

Rate this comment: +5

Dec 1, 2009
1:42 pm

#50 Mrs. Peacock :

#19 beat me to it, but didn’t Mattel already put out the “Burn Victim Barbie” series? Like at Christmas a few years ago? I recall mobs of shoppers fighting over every last one….
This advent calendar shall become a new Holiday Tradition in the Peacock home.

Rate this comment: +1

Dec 1, 2009
1:51 pm

#51 iamhydrogen14 :

Best advent calendar ever!! i too wanted to open all the doors now.

I certainly hope there will be some money tree seeds beneath the Hanukkah bush this year!

Ah regretsy…enjoyed by Jews & Gentiles alike!

Rate this comment: +5

Dec 1, 2009
4:16 pm

#52 Recovering Crack Baby :

I still think this “Ghost of Christmas Past” thing needs to stand on top of the Live Like You Were Dying Stone- perhaps before you hide my comment someone could make a little E Harmony matching and get those two sellers in business together.

Rate this comment: +6

Dec 1, 2009
4:19 pm

#53 shizly :

The Ghost of Xmas Past is made from, among other things, ooak. Awesome.

Rate this comment: -1

Dec 1, 2009
5:34 pm

#54 Holmes :

I have bookmarked this post and I will be using that as my advent calendar this year. You can bet on it!

Rate this comment: +1

Dec 1, 2009
5:47 pm

#55 The Blue Kraken :

whoa that was a startling click. like the kind that makes me feel a little nauseated after seeing it.

corpse bride? it is very corpseish very. very dead.. so does this mean that we get something else nauseating every day now?

Rate this comment: 0

Dec 1, 2009
5:55 pm

#56 NinjaGato :

Why are we giving this seller any more attention?

Rate this comment: -1

Dec 1, 2009
11:06 pm

#57 ozymandias :

OMG, it’s the official commemmorative Norman Bates’ Mother Holiday Barbie!

Rate this comment: +6