OK, I just woke up, I’m having a little morning frappuccino over here, check my email, hop over to Regretsy, and, oh, look, Helen has posted an advent calendar! Wonder what this is… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
I just clicked that large picture with the numbers and ‘Strangled then Shoved in a Barrel and Sealed off in Some Attic for 25 Years with Baking Soda to Avert the Stench But Isn’t My Dress Fantastic?!’ Barbie just looked at me funny
Know question is to dum-OK? Is this like buying a real Christmas Tree where you have to throw away pieces of it as it dies throughout the month of December? Anyone? Do I have to water it and keep it moist? Anyone?
I will honor Regretsy in my heart and try to keep it all the year. I will buy a Say What necklace and pre-order a book on Amazon. The spirits of vaginas and fairies shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons they teach. I…I am not the woman I was!! Spirit, tell me that I may sponge this Etsy item from my brain!!
And suddenly, there was with the angels, a multitude of the Heavenly Host, praising God and saying…. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Holy Freakin’ Crap! Get back under your rock!!!!
Nothing wakes me up in the morning than being eye raped by etsy. The scary thing is this reminds me of the time I temped at Maxfield’s and the creepy owner guy want me to print out pictures of shrunken heads he was being offered to bid on. Now I know why.
I like the dress. But somehow I don’t think I see this fitting into the annual decorating festivities with the kids… “Mommy, mommy! Can I put out the Christmas corpse?”
Best advent calendar of all time. Now the holidays might be worthwile. Did anyone happen to glance through the rest of this person’s listings? As in, the ones using HUMAN BONES? Since when is that a selling point?
I’m 27 and my mother still gives me those calendars with the little chocolates. I dare say this is more exciting though!
I imagine this artist was one those people who, as a child, attempted to mummify small rodents and had elaborate ceremonies with her Barbies as human sacrifices.
Hmm… speaking of human sacrifices, with this rating system, it seems you’re really subject to the whim of the masses. One wrong move and WAH-LAH! your comment is hidden from low rating. Just saying.
It would be a bonus to find out she had used her vagina to make this doll’s head. That would truly make it *whimsiclicious*. I think it’s a great ideal.
“On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a hand sculpted ghostly Barbie.”
In the harried midst of preparing for the holidays: making card lists, writing cards, trying to actually (yes!)work at my job, making gift lists, stressing about the who/what/when of gift giving, I have the good fortune to see this! Truly makes the countdown to Christmas worthwhile. Brilliant! Thanks Helen!
#19 beat me to it, but didn’t Mattel already put out the “Burn Victim Barbie” series? Like at Christmas a few years ago? I recall mobs of shoppers fighting over every last one….
This advent calendar shall become a new Holiday Tradition in the Peacock home.
I still think this “Ghost of Christmas Past” thing needs to stand on top of the Live Like You Were Dying Stone- perhaps before you hide my comment someone could make a little E Harmony matching and get those two sellers in business together.
December 1, 2009 at 8:28 am
Ahahahaha- I love you Helen Killer. This is awesome.
December 1, 2009 at 8:30 am
*tumbles headlong into the uncanny valley*
December 1, 2009 at 8:31 am
OK, I just woke up, I’m having a little morning frappuccino over here, check my email, hop over to Regretsy, and, oh, look, Helen has posted an advent calendar! Wonder what this is… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Helen, you are so getting my therapy bill!!
December 1, 2009 at 8:32 am
Brilliant! Can we get an 8-day bonus for Hanukkah???
December 1, 2009 at 8:34 am
Thank you Helen, I thought I’d never get into the spirit this season.
What a gem.
December 1, 2009 at 8:35 am
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December 1, 2009 at 8:36 am
I just clicked that large picture with the numbers and ‘Strangled then Shoved in a Barrel and Sealed off in Some Attic for 25 Years with Baking Soda to Avert the Stench But Isn’t My Dress Fantastic?!’ Barbie just looked at me funny
December 1, 2009 at 8:38 am
you’re an ass helen. am i the only one who thought we could actually flip all those doors open right now?
December 1, 2009 at 8:38 am
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December 1, 2009 at 8:38 am
I hate you so much. I clicked on 16 and had coffee go down the wrong pipe. I’m still coughing.
December 1, 2009 at 8:39 am
I feel like decorating my tree now.
December 1, 2009 at 8:40 am
Am I the only one hoping there will be a new treat every day?
December 1, 2009 at 8:40 am
It’s like a knock-off Tim Burton doll. Only not as nice as a real knock off would be. This is like it’s cheap plastic cousin.
December 1, 2009 at 8:41 am
GAH!!!
I wish I were close personal friends with Tim Burton, though, because I’m sure he would LOVE that….thing.
December 1, 2009 at 8:42 am
Dammit. TurtleGirl beat me to the Tim Burton reference by a few moments.
December 1, 2009 at 8:42 am
Jesus, I thought each door was a different page. Thank god. There’s only so much shit I can handle in one post.
December 1, 2009 at 8:44 am
You can only open one a day. The whole page is today’s link.
And yes, we should absolutely have Channukah listings!
December 1, 2009 at 8:44 am
Seriously, an advent calendar? I’m so excited I could pee!
December 1, 2009 at 8:47 am
Coming Soon Kiddies: ‘Burned Beyond Recognition & ID’ed by Dental Records’ Skipper, and ‘Discolored Bloated Floating Down the River’ Ken
December 1, 2009 at 8:48 am
brilliant Helen.
December 1, 2009 at 8:49 am
Yikes! It’s MaliBOO Barbie!
December 1, 2009 at 8:50 am
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December 1, 2009 at 8:56 am
#22 Recovering Crack Baby: Your question marks confuse me.
December 1, 2009 at 8:58 am
When I got up this morning and watched my daughters open their advent calendars I was a little jealous as they ate their tiny squares of chocolate.
This is so much better than chocolate, thank you Helen!
December 1, 2009 at 8:58 am
On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me Beelzebub, Lord of the Flies, and Cthulhu in a pear tree. I so want the twins!
December 1, 2009 at 9:00 am
#10 AnonymousBastard: Ah. Good to know I’m not the only one who opened up every door on the advent calendar the second Mom wasn’t looking.
December 1, 2009 at 9:00 am
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December 1, 2009 at 9:02 am
I will honor Regretsy in my heart and try to keep it all the year. I will buy a Say What necklace and pre-order a book on Amazon. The spirits of vaginas and fairies shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons they teach. I…I am not the woman I was!! Spirit, tell me that I may sponge this Etsy item from my brain!!
December 1, 2009 at 9:03 am
Helen, I could kiss you, like Adam Lambert kissed that keyboard player on the AMAs.
December 1, 2009 at 9:04 am
dear god, that really is frightening. it would make an awesome halloween prop.
December 1, 2009 at 9:09 am
Is anyone else confused about this thing in her shop? http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=33223444
December 1, 2009 at 9:18 am
And suddenly, there was with the angels, a multitude of the Heavenly Host, praising God and saying…. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Holy Freakin’ Crap! Get back under your rock!!!!
December 1, 2009 at 9:29 am
Nothing wakes me up in the morning than being eye raped by etsy. The scary thing is this reminds me of the time I temped at Maxfield’s and the creepy owner guy want me to print out pictures of shrunken heads he was being offered to bid on. Now I know why.
December 1, 2009 at 9:34 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
December 1, 2009 at 9:35 am
I shall decorate my tree with festive felted vag’s, “say what” ornaments, and whimsicle fuckery! Fa-la-la-la-la!
December 1, 2009 at 9:39 am
That reminds me, I need to stop at Target to pick up 2 more packs of whimsicles. I like a really shiny Christmas tree…
December 1, 2009 at 9:59 am
I like the dress. But somehow I don’t think I see this fitting into the annual decorating festivities with the kids… “Mommy, mommy! Can I put out the Christmas corpse?”
December 1, 2009 at 10:02 am
THIS…Is fantastic! I am crossing my fingers that you do a Regretsy themed Christmas tree! And did you allude to a Regretsy Menorah?!?!?!
And yeah, I totally tried to open several numbers, ’cause I’m a peeker like that. Helen knows we have no self control!
December 1, 2009 at 10:02 am
She might get away with defacing a Barbie, but she better not fuck with G.I. Joe, he’s got Kung Fu grip.
December 1, 2009 at 10:07 am
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December 1, 2009 at 10:24 am
Wishing it had sound effects.
December 1, 2009 at 10:42 am
I’m scared to open my own advent calendar now..and damned if I will eat chocolate after seeing that.
December 1, 2009 at 10:50 am
Best advent calendar of all time. Now the holidays might be worthwile. Did anyone happen to glance through the rest of this person’s listings? As in, the ones using HUMAN BONES? Since when is that a selling point?
December 1, 2009 at 10:54 am
I’m 27 and my mother still gives me those calendars with the little chocolates. I dare say this is more exciting though!
I imagine this artist was one those people who, as a child, attempted to mummify small rodents and had elaborate ceremonies with her Barbies as human sacrifices.
December 1, 2009 at 11:02 am
Hmm… speaking of human sacrifices, with this rating system, it seems you’re really subject to the whim of the masses. One wrong move and WAH-LAH! your comment is hidden from low rating. Just saying.
December 1, 2009 at 11:11 am
It would be a bonus to find out she had used her vagina to make this doll’s head. That would truly make it *whimsiclicious*. I think it’s a great ideal.
December 1, 2009 at 11:37 am
“On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a hand sculpted ghostly Barbie.”
In the harried midst of preparing for the holidays: making card lists, writing cards, trying to actually (yes!)work at my job, making gift lists, stressing about the who/what/when of gift giving, I have the good fortune to see this! Truly makes the countdown to Christmas worthwhile. Brilliant! Thanks Helen!
December 1, 2009 at 12:02 pm
Is this doll from the “Barbie and Kenneth Bianchi” collection?
December 1, 2009 at 12:55 pm
Here’s an advent calendar I actually like.
$99 for a “wonderdul” fucked up barbie.
Just let me get my credit card.
December 1, 2009 at 1:42 pm
#19 beat me to it, but didn’t Mattel already put out the “Burn Victim Barbie” series? Like at Christmas a few years ago? I recall mobs of shoppers fighting over every last one….
This advent calendar shall become a new Holiday Tradition in the Peacock home.
December 1, 2009 at 1:51 pm
Best advent calendar ever!! i too wanted to open all the doors now.
I certainly hope there will be some money tree seeds beneath the Hanukkah bush this year!
Ah regretsy…enjoyed by Jews & Gentiles alike!
December 1, 2009 at 4:16 pm
I still think this “Ghost of Christmas Past” thing needs to stand on top of the Live Like You Were Dying Stone- perhaps before you hide my comment someone could make a little E Harmony matching and get those two sellers in business together.
December 1, 2009 at 4:19 pm
The Ghost of Xmas Past is made from, among other things, ooak. Awesome.
December 1, 2009 at 5:34 pm
I have bookmarked this post and I will be using that as my advent calendar this year. You can bet on it!
December 1, 2009 at 5:47 pm
whoa that was a startling click. like the kind that makes me feel a little nauseated after seeing it.
corpse bride? it is very corpseish very. very dead.. so does this mean that we get something else nauseating every day now?
December 1, 2009 at 5:55 pm
Why are we giving this seller any more attention?
December 1, 2009 at 11:06 pm
OMG, it’s the official commemmorative Norman Bates’ Mother Holiday Barbie!