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Once Upon a Time

Posted by Helen Killer

62 comments

You know, this reminds me of a fairy tale too; “The Girl Who Put Shit on Her Head and Thought it was a Hat”.

Filed in Accessories 62 comments

62 Comments

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Dec 1, 2009
2:28 pm

#1 Dynomoose :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -45

Dec 1, 2009
2:28 pm

#2 Elegant :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -7

Dec 1, 2009
2:29 pm

#3 Jea :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -5

Dec 1, 2009
2:29 pm

#4 Moons in Leo :

You know, I’ve been worried that there’s been a lack of whimsicle faerie fuckery lately. WAH-LAH! My prayers have been answered!

Rate this comment: +35

Dec 1, 2009
2:30 pm

#5 personalearthquake :

wear it like you MEAN IT!

Rate this comment: +17

Dec 1, 2009
2:34 pm

#6 silly squirrel :

This is totally stunning. I can see me wearing this to all my Holiday parties. I think I will make my own, you know clean out my crafting closet an all.

Rate this comment: +4

Dec 1, 2009
2:40 pm

#7 Bad_Wolf :

I’d like to wish someone would put a rein on these Bohemian nutjobs, but then I would have nothing to amuse myself with.

Rate this comment: +11

Dec 1, 2009
2:43 pm

#8 Bad_Wolf :

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=27844860

Picture 3… she’s lucky the hicks in that trailer didn’t drag her back to their cabin in the hills and introduce her to their deformed family.

Rate this comment: +14

Dec 1, 2009
2:44 pm

#9 rachealrose :

Are we not noticing “fascinator” here? Anyone?

Rate this comment: +22

Dec 1, 2009
2:46 pm

#10 Patty :

The alleged beauty of this piece aside, I thought the point of the thumbnail photos were to show the item from other angles.

I suppose, seeing this thing slightly tilted up brings its inner beauty to the outs-

I can’t do it… I just keep laughing.

Rate this comment: +32

Dec 1, 2009
2:46 pm

#11 mambolica :

Oh sure, it’s a fascinator… like a train derailment, but fascinating nonetheless.

Rate this comment: +15

Dec 1, 2009
2:47 pm

#12 sudabaki :

From the smaller picture on facebook I had thought it was a penis on her hat. I think I’m disappointed to see it’s only an ugly feather.

Rate this comment: +30

Dec 1, 2009
2:49 pm

#13 mambolica :

Bad_Wolf, she IS the hick in that trailer.

Rate this comment: +21

Dec 1, 2009
2:54 pm

#14 HermesGoddess :

#13 beat me to it.

Rate this comment: +2

Dec 1, 2009
2:55 pm

#15 HermesGoddess :

Why ELSE would she be prancing about on a dirt road in her undergarments. With heels. All she needs is a Kool hanging out the side of her face, with about 3″ of ash precariously balanced, whilst clutching a Colt 45 in the other hand–whether I mean beer or a gun is up to you to decide.

Rate this comment: +15

Dec 1, 2009
2:59 pm

#16 Calophi :

#12: I thought it was a penis, too! I was also disappointed that it turned out to be a feather. I was hoping she made a “Choda Boy” hat…

Rate this comment: +3

Dec 1, 2009
3:01 pm

#17 bumblepuppy :

#15 – nothing will ever go with a cigarette like a box grater clock!

Rate this comment: +11

Dec 1, 2009
3:02 pm

#18 buffoon :

#12 me too! lol

Rate this comment: -1

Dec 1, 2009
3:03 pm

#19 bumblepuppy :

Obviously, you have to wear the fake-flower-bird-feather-bandanna with this dress:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=17853332

Rate this comment: +3

Dec 1, 2009
3:04 pm

#20 catspiracy :

Add unto the mystical fuckery!

Rate this comment: +3

Dec 1, 2009
3:21 pm

#21 Efit :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -5

Dec 1, 2009
3:26 pm

#22 regretmenot :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -3

Dec 1, 2009
3:28 pm

#23 methuselah :

Clearly, by the looks of the models and locales – not to mention the shop’s slatternly rags – the Manson Family continues to thrive with each new generation.

Rate this comment: +8

Dec 1, 2009
3:31 pm

#24 martini :

#15 HermesGoddess : I think I hear banjo music…

Rate this comment: +4

Dec 1, 2009
3:37 pm

#25 Feel Free To Customise and Whimsiclise My Vagina :

Goes really nice with her stylish blue towelling hair piece.

Rate this comment: -1

Dec 1, 2009
3:57 pm

#26 NinjaGato :

I’m more disturbed by the pink teddy in her shop. SHE’S WEARING IT. I wouldn’t want someone to pre-wear my undies and she’s clearly not wearing anything underneath it, which gives me the heebie jeebies.

Rate this comment: +21

Dec 1, 2009
3:58 pm

#27 Recovering Crack Baby :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -3

Dec 1, 2009
3:58 pm

#28 The Dreamstress :

#9 A fascinator is a real word. It’s a small hat like thing that clips on to your head. Posh Brits and the like wear them to races.

That said, even the craziest posh Brit wouldn’t wear this to the loo!

Rate this comment: +3

Dec 1, 2009
3:59 pm

#29 NinjaGato :

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=30729526

This however is sorta cute…thanks for wearing panties.

Rate this comment: +2

Dec 1, 2009
3:59 pm

#30 Bad_Wolf :

Oo! You can wear this to distract people from your lemon yellow spats!

Rate this comment: +4

Dec 1, 2009
4:00 pm

#31 NinjaGato :

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=27916808

I wonder if by “hand dyed” she means “I spilled some food on this and decided to put it on Etsy anyway”

Rate this comment: +11

Dec 1, 2009
4:02 pm

#32 NinjaGato :

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=28376436

Get a strapless bra and a steamer.

Rate this comment: +12

Dec 1, 2009
4:06 pm

#33 sawdustbear :

I don’t know, I think it would be really classy if she added the craft pompoms from the other hair fascinator.

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=29164179

Rate this comment: +4

Dec 1, 2009
4:21 pm

#34 HermesGoddess :

Ew! that thing in #31 NinjaGato’s post DOES look like there’s food on it. I’d lay odds it’s hot sauce from Taco Bell, too.
I’m just sayin’.

Rate this comment: +4

Dec 1, 2009
4:26 pm

#35 Cath of Canberra :

NinjaGato, her stuff is recycled “vintage” which means it’s been pre-worn before she even put it on. I do understand a squick reaction at other people’s underwear. Though personally I’m good with washing machines for cootie removal purposes.

Rate this comment: +1

Dec 1, 2009
4:28 pm

#36 methuselah :

This shop also puts me in mind of the GTOs (Girls Together Outrageously), a 60s band produced by Frank Zappa.
Who they were:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_GTOs
What they did, with pictures:
globalia.net/donlope/fz/related/Permanent_Damage.html

They had some association with the Plaster Casters, rock groupies who made plaster casts of their conquests’ penises…inspiration, perhaps, for many of today’s Etsy crafters. And so the circle of life is completed.
en.wikipedia…

Rate this comment: +4

Dec 1, 2009
4:32 pm

#37 NinjaGato :

granted once you wash them the cooties go away, but I’d still know that someone elses vadge was cradled in my vintage underwear. That alone is enough to creep me out. I’m cool with all sorts of vintage just not undies.

Rate this comment: +5

Dec 1, 2009
4:37 pm

#38 rodgertheshrubber :

I know what she’s saying…like in Midsummer Night’s Dream…..

Puck:
And jealous Oberon would have the child
Knight of his train, to trace the forests wild;
But she perforce withholds the loved boy,
Crowns him with flowers and an over sized clip that almost looks like a cap depending on how you wear it.

ahhhhh. I love the Bard.

Rate this comment: +23

Dec 1, 2009
4:43 pm

#39 dscokween :

#33 – that particular one is my favorite (pom-pom fascinator) not so much because of the aesthetics, but because it would appear the model is trying to strangle herself and end it all right there.

Rate this comment: +5

Dec 1, 2009
4:50 pm

#40 jojo :

#8 Bad_Wolf She had on really cute shoes though. But I wouldn’t want to wear this after her. She may have just done a painting with her cooter.

Rate this comment: +4

Dec 1, 2009
4:53 pm

#41 jojo :

32 NinjaGato :

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=28376436
OMG those eyes are boring a hole into my soul.

Rate this comment: +5

Dec 1, 2009
5:02 pm

#42 NinjaGato :

you’re right jojo she does have some creepy ass eyes.

Rate this comment: +2

Dec 1, 2009
5:22 pm

#43 BettyMachete :

These have to be the creepiest models I have ever seen. Almost wonder if they were bred for this purpose and kept in captivity. And forced to wear undergarments from 1980’s bridal showers.

Rate this comment: +10

Dec 1, 2009
5:34 pm

#44 HelenaHandbasket :

I’m certain that the floral adornment is either plastic or “silk”, so how’d she find one that’s mouldering and rancid-looking?

On the upside, the entrancing fabric will compliment nearly every item in my wardrobe.

Rate this comment: +1

Dec 1, 2009
5:39 pm

#45 YippySkippy :

Forget the shiteous woodsy hair clips, there’s something scary as hell meandering across the ceiling in most of her photos. We may not be able to see it but her models are totally freaking!

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=28349983

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=27968325

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=27874422

Rate this comment: +7

Dec 1, 2009
5:53 pm

#46 edenartist :

“meandering”? I don’t think I want a meandering hat. That kind of shit needs to stay in Harry Potter land. Here in the real world I’d prefer a hat that stays where I fucking put it.

Rate this comment: +12

Dec 1, 2009
6:11 pm

#47 NinjaGato :

so Eden, would a meandering hat tell you where to park your trailer?

Rate this comment: -1

Dec 1, 2009
7:10 pm

#48 KharmaApple :

This hair clip inspires me so much I wrote a two haiku:

Put this hair clip on
If you have always wanted
To be a fairy

So go meander
Through woods where no one can see
The shit on your head.

Rate this comment: +19

Dec 1, 2009
8:04 pm

#49 everydaymama1 :

A colourful rag on ones head does not make a fascinator! And only one angle for her pics does not help this in any way.

Rate this comment: +3

Dec 1, 2009
9:48 pm

#50 Skully :

Interesting coincidence, I was just thinking this morning while getting dressed, “you know, my underwear almost looks like a cap, depending on how I wear it.”

Rate this comment: +15

Dec 1, 2009
9:58 pm

#51 elephantandbutterfly :

“It reminds me of a fairytale, wandering through the woods, seeking out adventure and mystical creatures …”

So she’s been in the woods molesting fairy creatures? That explains a lot.

Rate this comment: +2

Dec 1, 2009
10:09 pm

#52 hammerhead77 :

I have little tolerance for cutesy. This fucking cutesy fairy shit brings out the same sort of latent homicidal rage in me that the cutesy Comic Sans font does. One of these days I’m going to see some ethereal Bo-Ho fucker tacking up a Comic Sans sign advertising a poetry reading or some shit and I swear I’m going to go all Patty Hearst.

Rate this comment: +5

Dec 1, 2009
11:00 pm

#53 The Blue Kraken :

#41 OMG LOL oh dear lord those girls eyes.. maybe she’s thinking
“oh dear god what the hell am i doing here?! this guys walls are nasty!”

Rate this comment: +2

Dec 2, 2009
12:33 am

#54 Recovering Crack Baby :

#36 METHUSELAH— Do I know you? Are you my other half sitting in your recording studio and messing with me? HMMMMMMMMMM…… if not then I know or is it no, damn that Ideals lady. Anyhoo- I know where I can find your twin brain.

Rate this comment: 0

Dec 2, 2009
3:20 am

#55 jen the hen :

Come on….is no one going to even mention the figs?

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=27916808

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=27874422

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=27968325

Rate this comment: +1

Dec 2, 2009
4:26 am

#56 lynne :

#32, I think the wrinkled dress and bra strap are the least of her problems……but perhaps the ones most easily solved.

Rate this comment: +5

Dec 2, 2009
6:16 am

#57 Dix :

Can somebody please explain to me why sellers put three almost-identical views of an item on their listings? Left, right, and front views I could understand, but not . . . three left views. (If I were crazy enough to buy this) I’d want to know what it looks like from the other side, since it presumably does not look like a cap.

Rate this comment: +9

Dec 2, 2009
8:26 am

#58 weberly :

and SOLD, holy hell this hurts my soul, it’s like i’m witnessing the death of all things Yart Sale

Rate this comment: +2

Dec 2, 2009
8:51 pm

#59 itlives :

I love the Persian rug on the floor of the room, it makes it look classy and totally negates the 1880s unfinished basement look of the rest of the room.

Rate this comment: 0

Dec 3, 2009
2:31 pm

#60 FreshFruit :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -4

Dec 3, 2009
3:37 pm

#61 Helen Killer :

@ #60, it looks like you answered your own question.

Rate this comment: +1

Dec 31, 2009
8:47 am

#62 happiness-is :

This is a must for the really ugly chick who wants something uglier than she is…tah dah!

Rate this comment: 0