Oh golly, that is just such a cute story. I never get tired of it. In fact, I think it might be the best thing Garrison Keillor ever wrote!

Now, when you say, “custom”, do you mean “painting you and your husband at 1:87 scale”? Because I’m not sure I want to get married in the Department 56 Wedding Village.

By the way, this takes four weeks to arrive, so hopefully Dumbeldore’s spell will have worn off by then and you’ll be tall enough to refuse the package.

If you really want to get noticed, try crapping your pants on the bus. It might not be ironic, but it’s less embarrassing than wearing yellow spats to (yes!) work.