“Sequenced”? So does that mean she put the sequins on in a very precise order which she repeated several times? Or did she just fall asleep on the piano and dream of a unicorn in a misty forest?

As I sit here this morning, sifting through nearly 500 comments of people spewing the most profane words imaginable to win a guessing game with no prize, I am filled with gratitude and affection. You, fellow snark-mongers, secret lovers of all things crotched and googly-eyed, mean-spirited mockers of teddy bears with no eyes and vaginas on water bottles, you are my people.

And so it is particularly fitting that I make the following announcement this morning, because I only have you and your support to thank for this:

REGRETSY HAS SIGNED A BOOK DEAL WITH RANDOM HOUSE

Yes, it’s true. A Regretsy book is now in the works, and I’m pretty jacked up about it.

The book is a different animal than this site. I’m only using material with the participation and permission of the sellers, so you have to want to be a part of it. And it’s my intention to make the sellers a significant part of it.

I’ve asked Random House to use Etsy artists to create the art in the book, instead of illustrators or stock images they might otherwise use. There will also be a seller’s guide in the book, fully crediting each submitter and providing links to their store. I’m offering free advertising on Regretsy to anyone who winds up selected for the book. And there are a lot of other opportunities for all of us that I’ll tell you about later.

So if you’d like to be a part of the book, click on the chicken in a poncho up on the left, and you’ll be taken to a form that tells you what to do.

And if you’ve already been featured on the site and would like to be in the book, use the link to let me know. It will be mostly new material, but there’s room for some favorites.

Thank you all for making this possible. I have been loving everything about this, and wishing I could make it my job. Now it is!

For a while now, I’ve noticed that comments are getting a little screwy – things are out of order, numbers change, and people who have posted with no problem before are suddenly being held in a queue for moderation.

Tonight, Regretsy’s system administrator and all-around awesome mofo Jeremy discovered the reason for this fuckery. Apparently, there was some sort of safe comment moderation enabled, so any comment containing words on a secret dirty list in WordPress were made to wait in the corner, until we let it come out for dinner, and maybe Dancing with the Stars.

Ironic? Like rain on your wedding day!

Here I am, using words like “fuckery” and “puckered blowhole” like they were going out of style, while you’re waiting in line to say “penis”! Oh it made me laugh and (yes!) laugh.

But all good things must come to an end. The safe comment moderation has been partially disabled. You can now use the word “penis” freely, just as you would at your place of worship.

However, I have left up quite a few words that I just don’t care to see here. So we’re going to play a game!

Comment on this post with whatever words you think are in the filter. If you’re right, the comment will not be posted. If you’re wrong, we’ll all see what kind of filth you spew in mixed company.