Your Questions
I am OVERWHELMED with submissions for the Regretsy book! The response has really been exciting. Thank you all for having so much humor and being such good sports.
I am still looking for a few more people to feature, so if you’re thinking about being involved, please contact me as soon as possible.
I am also looking for a few more artists to work on the book itself. Each chapter will have corresponding art work, and I have asked Random House to use Etsy artists instead of the usual illustrators or stock images. If you would like to be considered for this job, please contact me as soon as possible, and send a link to your store.
And now . . YOUR QUESTIONS!
Q: Are you going to use images in the book without the permission of the artist?
A: What? No.
Q: Are you going to include reader’s comments in your book?
A: No. The site and the book are two different things.
Q: Does that mean you won’t be making fun of people’s work?
A: Don’t get carried away.
Q: If I agree to be in the book, do I give up all rights to my piece?
A: No. You only allow us to use the image in the book, and in promoting the book.
Q: If I was featured on the site and I agree to be in the book, can I defend my work?
A: Every artist who participates will get a list of questions they can respond to in writing. If you’ve been featured on the site, you can talk about how the exposure affected you, and how you handled the attention and criticism.
Q: If I see my piece on your site, can I log in and post comments defending my work?
A: Of course.
Q: Will you publish my comments?
A: It depends. If you post 15 comments in a row or reveal personal information that might invite harassment, I will email you to discuss it. And I will also ask you to prove you’re the seller, because anyone can say they’re you and start a lot of trouble.
Q: Why don’t you moderate comments by readers?
A: Because I’m not a fan of moderating threads. That’s part of the reason the voting system was added; so you can moderate your own discussions.
Q: But someone said I was a drug addict/prostitute/Democrat!
A: Yeah, that happens on the internet. You should see what they call me in the forums.
Q: What if I have too much self-respect to ever be in a book like yours?
A: Have I asked you to be in the book?
Q: No.
A: Then shut up.
November 30, 2009 at 7:50 pm
Q: What if my “art” is completely devoid of whimsicle fuckery… Can I still make the book?
November 30, 2009 at 7:55 pm
Why not?
November 30, 2009 at 7:57 pm
#2 Helen Killer : Sweet!!!
November 30, 2009 at 8:00 pm
Q: I smear paint on my hooha and squish it on to things. Can I do the cover art?
November 30, 2009 at 8:00 pm
Q: Where can I buy the T-shirt?
November 30, 2009 at 8:02 pm
Loved the last 2 Q&A’s… I am still laughing my butt off!
November 30, 2009 at 8:02 pm
What do they call you in the forums? Do we need to go on a whoopass warpath?
November 30, 2009 at 8:04 pm
Since know question is dum, can I create something now and start an Etsy account and perhaps be considered??
I no it’s a shot in hooha hell, but I have big ideals…I paid $19.99 for.
November 30, 2009 at 8:05 pm
I do have one dum qwestion: Regarding the Ebert-style thumbs up & thumbs down, do we have to hide all the low-rated comments? Some of these comments aren’t offensive. They just go against the grain of popular Ideals. For example, someone thought that sweater model was hot. I did not. I thought he was hirsute and icky. However, I also did not understand why the comment was so bad that it needed to be hidden away. Do you know what I mean. I hope you do.
November 30, 2009 at 8:06 pm
Oh no, no. I am officially stating that I don’t want anyone going over there and starting trouble. We keep our snark in our threads, and they keep their dried up bitter jealous bitchfest on theirs.
November 30, 2009 at 8:06 pm
good point hammerhead…it shows good charter
November 30, 2009 at 8:07 pm
fine, I understand…I’ll go paint with my vagina alone….
November 30, 2009 at 8:10 pm
I guess learning to crochet is out too…fuckers
November 30, 2009 at 8:12 pm
Hammerhead, (yes!), I do know what you mean.
I think this particular program works like the one on YouTube, were unpopular comments get hidden. But you know we always click on the hidden ones first.
November 30, 2009 at 8:13 pm
ok. I’ll be nice. I suppose it’s for the best, I’m starting a shop soon and I don’t want to get banned for life.
November 30, 2009 at 8:14 pm
In chapter 4 of my motherfuckin’ self help book, I state that crocheting with one’s vagina (quietly, of course… because talking too fucking much is impolite) is the hallmark of good charter.
November 30, 2009 at 8:18 pm
#14 Helen Killer : Maybe the lameness factor threshold needs tweaked a little…
November 30, 2009 at 8:19 pm
The shirt, the shirt! We must be able to purchase the featured shirt. The holiday gift-giving season is nigh upon us.
November 30, 2009 at 8:20 pm
I’m not sure I have anything in my shop that would work in the book. I know a lot of my shit’s weird and all, but Regretsy material? Not sure. I have a couple of freaky things on my website if you want to take a look. There may be some trademark issues though.
http://marilowery.com/artwork/787184_Elbow_Grease.html
http://marilowery.com/artwork/787099_Mr_and_Mrs_C.html
http://marilowery.com/artwork/790595_I_ve_been_working_out.html
November 30, 2009 at 8:22 pm
@addiosix…
reused recycled thrift store yarn?? I’m on it(no pun intended).Reading my F@#$ing self help book, learning myself new ideals, living like I were dying and crocheting quietly w/ my VAGINA…all while promoting the book in anticipation….
November 30, 2009 at 8:25 pm
#16 addiosix : Little Debbie… Damn girl!!!
November 30, 2009 at 8:25 pm
Sometimes I wonder if people go through and give thumbs downs without bothering to read or post, to be pricks or whatever. I dunno. Gonna sit back and wait for the thumbs don to roll in lol.
Before my post hides, I’m wondering if there’s any guess on when the book will be ready?
November 30, 2009 at 8:29 pm
Q: Do you get tired of us recycling Regretsy humor? What is your stance on vigilante Photoshopping? Particularly if it involves Sarah Palin, a kunterbundt, and a deer hoof. Y’know, if you spend enough time Photoshopping Mrs. Palin you can’t really tell much about her vagina definitely not enough to get a custom pendant or anything but you do notice that she has some nice thighs or maybe that’s just someone else’s Photoshopping making her look good. WHERE’S MY FUCKING FRAPPUCINO???
November 30, 2009 at 8:31 pm
#20 martini :
I posted a chicken soup recipe for you! Didja see it? ;D
November 30, 2009 at 8:33 pm
A: I HAVE MY OWN IDEALS DO YOU KNOW WHAT I AM SAYING
November 30, 2009 at 8:36 pm
Q: CAN THE INSIDE OF THIS BOOK BE A MIRROR WITH A TIARA ON IT SO WHEN YOU OPEN THE BOOK AND LOOK IN THE MIRROR YOU CAN SEE YOURSELF WITH A TIARA ON YOUR HEAD IN THE MIRROR?
November 30, 2009 at 8:39 pm
#24 addiosix : That looks fuckin’ great… But I think his recipe has actual goddamned pantie waists in it… Just like my motherfuckin’ grandma’s recipe… =D
November 30, 2009 at 8:44 pm
Best Q&A ever. Then End.
November 30, 2009 at 8:44 pm
#27 martini :
Real pantie waists! Of course!! Your grandma seems like a smart lady.
I bet she always cleaned up her goddamned mess and never ran her mouth off. Back in the day people were raised right and knew that running their fucking mouth off all the time was bad manners.
November 30, 2009 at 8:45 pm
@20: Did you also remember to tell the end of time?
November 30, 2009 at 8:48 pm
Cool it with the fucking Photoshopping? Say WHAT? Sorry. It’s an addiction. I need a framed 30 Days wall art program for it. That, or I need to scrawl out a journal/book called How to Lose Friends and Waste Away Hours of Your Life with Photoshop!
November 30, 2009 at 8:50 pm
#30 HostessVo :
vangoghbabe is such a badass, the end of time didn’t even need to be told, it already knew
November 30, 2009 at 8:51 pm
#31 hammerhead77 :
THERE WILL BE NO COOLING IT WITH THE PHOTOSHOPPING
Cooling it with the photoshopping makes Baby Jesus cry.
November 30, 2009 at 8:51 pm
#20 vangoghbabe – If you can crochet with your vagina, I think you could find steady work in a special district of Bangkok I wandered into a few years back…
November 30, 2009 at 8:52 pm
#29 addiosix : She was pretty fuckin’ tidy… She cleaned her shit up often… Her only weakness was that she partied till the cowls came home…
November 30, 2009 at 8:57 pm
Q: Can “Party til the Cowls Come Home” be the theme for a Regretsy New Year’s Party?
November 30, 2009 at 8:58 pm
Note: Rent party bus for regretsy regulars..AKA Gypsy Danglers, AKA Cumberband…
Hand out vagina kozies for beverages on bus.
Be prepared to attend book signing.
WE need sponsors
November 30, 2009 at 8:58 pm
#36 hammerhead77 : My grandmother would have been so proud…
November 30, 2009 at 9:00 pm
#36 hammerhead77 : Oh! Maybe it should be the theme for the book tour…
November 30, 2009 at 9:00 pm
Q: I think I might be a regular here, what if I am terrified of vagina kozies?
November 30, 2009 at 9:00 pm
Contest for top common-taters.
Prize= autographed Regretsy book
November 30, 2009 at 9:03 pm
Ms. Helen Killer
Is there, by chance, going to be a glossary located in the rear of the book.
Spanish, English and random Asian language….??
November 30, 2009 at 9:03 pm
#40 addiosix : You would, of course, knit something more appropriate…
November 30, 2009 at 9:04 pm
Oh, pray forgive…GLOSS-ASS-ary
November 30, 2009 at 9:06 pm
#44 vangoghbabe : I could be hidden behind some ass bracelet/mud flap page…
November 30, 2009 at 9:12 pm
#43 martini :
Yes, my thorough and exhaustive research into the matter (see here: http://www.regretsy.com/2009/10/28/arrowhood-nsfw/#comments ) indicates my longstanding belief that they are an abomination of all things good and holy.
I am not an advocate of the scaryass vagina cozy aesthetic.
November 30, 2009 at 9:20 pm
#46 addiosix : I concur… That is some fucked up repugnant shit.
November 30, 2009 at 9:32 pm
@#42 Van Gogh Babe (and Helen) : There should be an ESL (Etsy as a Second Language) section, detailing the origin and meaning of phrases/titles such as:
Ability…charter will keep you there
Earrings of PomPom
Granny Montanny
Gypsy Dangler
Know question is to dumb
Live like you were dying
Magnicifent
Say what?
Vaginart
Whimsicle
Together we warm
etc…
November 30, 2009 at 9:43 pm
#46 addiosix :
#43 martini :
http://www.regretsy.com/2009/10/28/arrowhood-nsfw/#comments
….
Omg..seriously. Let’s say I’m sitting at Starbucks
or some place..and I’m drinking something with this
cozy on. And someone WILL ask me WTH is that?..I know it for a fact, because people always ask too many damn questions. What do I say? – “Oh it’s just a crocheted vagina on my drink”.
PEOPLE ARE GOING TO THINK I’M A LUNATIC.
November 30, 2009 at 9:49 pm
#49 polaroidart : My advice to you… Keep it in your private collection and out of the pubic eye… =D
November 30, 2009 at 9:51 pm
Helen, I sent you an email…even if you don’t reply to me, you still rock!
November 30, 2009 at 9:53 pm
#50 martini :
#49 polaroidart : My advice to you… Keep it in your private collection and out of the pubic eye… =D
Haha, no worries, my hubby wouldn’t let me
out of the house with that. At least not when we’re out together.
November 30, 2009 at 9:55 pm
#49 polaroidart :
I’m wondering if telling people it was the mouth end of a tapeworm would save a lot of explaining on your part…
I’m pretty sure it would wind up getting a less-repulsed reaction from the askee (seriously, could that thing be any more dreadful?)
November 30, 2009 at 9:59 pm
Helen to respond to your # 25 A: I HAVE MY OWN IDEALS DO YOU KNOW WHAT I AM SAYING
Q. SAY WHAT?
I would whore my mind out for 8 days, which is full of ideals for a dum shirt and maybe a couple of dum-dums- mystery flavor, perhaps???
November 30, 2009 at 10:03 pm
#33 addiossix: A Regretsy quiz!
How do you interpret what the author is saying in post #25 above?:
A. The author implies that excessive Photoshopping is discouraged and may be punishable with a bite from the belly button witch.
B. The author states that she has her own aRtiStiC iDeALs and is not currently an advocate of the Sarah Palin kunterbundt hoof aesthetic.
C. The author suggests that if you commit with yourself you will see the magical result.
D. All of the above
November 30, 2009 at 10:08 pm
#55 hammerhead77 :
E. http://i762.photobucket.com/albums/xx262/hammerhead77/addiossixwf.jpg
It was a trick question! The answer is E!!
(a Sarah Palin a day keeps the bellybutton witch away)
November 30, 2009 at 10:09 pm
#55 hammerhead77 :
D. would work too though
November 30, 2009 at 10:09 pm
Dang..vagina cozy is sold.
FYI- I didn’t buy it.
November 30, 2009 at 10:12 pm
polaroidart, I remember that seller, and I’m pretty sure she will make you one if you want it! Look at her sold items. She has sold a ton of those scaryass vagina cozies.
November 30, 2009 at 10:15 pm
Yay! I just submitted a link to some of my artwork. Now I’m gonna be all on edge till I get a “Sorry, doesn’t meet our current whimsicle needs.”
Aah! I need a fuckin’ frappuccino to calm my nerves.
November 30, 2009 at 10:22 pm
“She has sold a ton of those scaryass vagina cozies. ”
I don’t get it. Is it a fetish? I mean do people collect “vagina art/craft”? Do they actually use it
OUTSIDE in public? Do they give it to peeps as a gift? Damn, I have so many unanswered questions..
November 30, 2009 at 10:23 pm
56 addiosix for the WIN!
November 30, 2009 at 10:27 pm
I have tons of whimsicle fuckery all over my house, but none on Etsy, since I left there. Too many cowls, cozies, self appointed forum closers, and odd owls there… I got scared!
November 30, 2009 at 10:29 pm
*blows kisses at NinjaGato*
November 30, 2009 at 10:33 pm
#61 polaroidart: Don’t worry, I am as confuzzled as you are! But then again I am currently living in a world where my 3 year old keeps telling me “no mommy, girls have not vaginas, only butts and bums” ;P LMAO!!
December 1, 2009 at 7:36 am
here’s a shirt to match
http://www.flickr.com/photos/12688864@N03/4134202657/
December 1, 2009 at 8:06 am
#36 Hammerhead Please tell me there will be Frappucino Margaritas!
and so no one steals our fucking drinks some of these bad boys: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=34575189&ref=sr_list_13&&ga_search_query=drink+markers&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_page=3&includes=tags&includes=title
December 1, 2009 at 8:24 am
lemonicicle – I got dibs on Andre the Giant!
I was actually reluctant to click that link because, this being Regretsy, I was sure that it was going to take me to a horrifying Etsy shop filled with vagina-themed wine markers.
December 1, 2009 at 8:48 am
When in fact, it linked you to something much, much scarier.
December 1, 2009 at 9:36 am
T-shirt. Want. It’s a great ideal.
December 1, 2009 at 3:50 pm
Q: WHAT IF WE HAVE MORE QUESTIONS? ARE YOU STILL ANSWERING QUESTIONS???1?? OR ARE YOU GOING TO BE LIKE NANCY GRACE? I REPEATEDLY EMAILED NANCY BUT SHE NEVER ANSWERED MY QUESTIONS.
December 1, 2009 at 4:30 pm
I’m thinking I should just start a general question thread, and people can ask me shit all day.
December 1, 2009 at 4:53 pm
Thank you for the cute Q&A we are still on the fence over here but we will be deciding shortly if we would like to be a part of the book:)
Don’t want to end up offending my older clientelle from my other shop just because I made a cute pair of fun pants after all, right;)
December 1, 2009 at 5:18 pm
Helen #72 – Maybe YOU should ask US questions now. Because listen, sometimes when someone else ask questions towards you…
I don’t actually have anymore questions. I was just being a pain in the ass. (You deserve it for posting that fucking creepy ghost of Christmas past thing. Jeebus!)
December 1, 2009 at 5:30 pm
#73 poppyswickedgarden :
I have a question: Say you’re wearing drive thru pants and something offends you. What would that thing be?
December 1, 2009 at 5:32 pm
#73 poppyswickedgarden :
I hope you do say yes, because those pants are genius.
December 1, 2009 at 6:24 pm
Seriously, I need that t-shirt. You need to sell t-shirts. I would also buy t-shirts of the “view it in a room” pics if you could somehow get permission to sell those.
December 1, 2009 at 6:49 pm
LOL Ty
#76 Monstrosa :
Yeah that god awful aqua zipper is still stuck on the fence though, wait oops I think it came loose…… oh no, I’m in trouble:)
December 2, 2009 at 4:15 pm
“Q: Are you going to use images in the book without the permission of the artist?”
The answer should have been “No, not now that you pointed it out.”
December 2, 2009 at 4:17 pm
@ #79 Yeah, Random House totally had no idea about getting permissions from people. It’s their first book.