A Story in 5 Chapters
Hold on, let me get a pen.
Got it.
I would like to ask what that means, but it may not be Monday, or within the 3 day period, so maybe
I’ll just write it down in my notebook.
Wait a minute, are you asking me questions now? Because that’s not what I signed up for. Plus it
hasn’t been 3 days.
So theoretically, you could not check in on me for 6 days, and then all day Sunday you’re up my ass, looking at my items and my ideals? I’m starting to feel a little pressered.
Yeah, okay we get it, you’re the one with the ideals. You don’t have to rub it in, oh look at me, I have
ideals all day, I need a notebook. We’ve established already you’re the one with the ideals about the
items. That’s why you’re getting the 19.99, and I’m just waiting until Monday so I can ask a question.
Do you take Paypal?
November 30, 2009 at 11:31 am
Holy. Shit.
November 30, 2009 at 11:32 am
Ideally, this seller would not be violating Etsy’s TOS regarding listings: “All listings on Etsy must be for a tangible object. (Note: a digital file is considered a tangible object.)”
I see only discussion of ideals and email exchanges. To me, an email is not a tangible digital file (where as, say, a .jpg of a crochet pattern would be)
November 30, 2009 at 11:32 am
My oh my. She lost me in the first sentence with the word and use of Ideals.
November 30, 2009 at 11:33 am
OMG. Please God, do not let this person get a response.
November 30, 2009 at 11:35 am
Love the highlighted sentence.
November 30, 2009 at 11:37 am
I ABSOLUTELY REFUSE TO BELIEVE THIS IS REAL. refuse.
November 30, 2009 at 11:37 am
Absolutely priceless.
But I do believe they stole my ideals.
November 30, 2009 at 11:38 am
IF I had 19.99 I would buy it, just to see what Ideals she would give me, ahahahahahaha
November 30, 2009 at 11:38 am
Maybe they meant “idolizing.” For $20 they’ll help you idolize someone or something. For instance, Nancy Grace…
November 30, 2009 at 11:40 am
I dozed off around #3… Was it something important? Should I e-mail her now? It is Monday after all.
November 30, 2009 at 11:41 am
I’d like to have this tatooed on the back of my neck: It is never a time when I am woke that I don’t think of Ideals.
November 30, 2009 at 11:44 am
Somebody please buy the idealizing, because then she could pay me $19.99 to copy edit this crazy thing.
November 30, 2009 at 11:45 am
I’m hoping that the 2 hearts this person received were from regresty fans!
November 30, 2009 at 11:46 am
This person is obviously so incoherent because of all the ideals they’ve been snorting.
November 30, 2009 at 11:48 am
Ok, wait! I am supposed to get tips for improving my ideas and items from her? She can’t even take nice pics for her cluttered shop… OMG!
PS: i⋅de⋅al⋅i⋅za⋅tion
–noun
1. the act or process of idealizing something.
2. Psychoanalysis. a mental mechanism, operating consciously or unconsciously, in which one person overestimates an admired attribute of another.
November 30, 2009 at 11:48 am
~2500 years of Platonic metaphysics and no one has yet conceptualized a new ideal — or even argued convincingly that such an endeavor might be possible — and this person’s going to come up with a whole bunch of them? That I can now sell in my shop? I don’t know what you all are complaining about. I’m going to buy the listing and become chair of the philosophy dept at Columbia. See ya, suckers!
November 30, 2009 at 11:49 am
oh dear she has a blog. i clicked over but just couldn’t read it. too. many. words.
November 30, 2009 at 11:52 am
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November 30, 2009 at 11:54 am
HOLY JESUS ON A LAPTOP what the hell does this say??
My… head… hurts…
November 30, 2009 at 11:54 am
Ow. My brain hurts just reading that shit.
November 30, 2009 at 11:56 am
you lost me at “let me see if i can help you”.
for 20 fucking dollars, it’s not really a yes or no question.
November 30, 2009 at 11:57 am
My first reaction was “I don’t think this seller knows what ‘ideals’ means”. But then I realized that it was probably pretty minor in comparison to all the other things she/he does not understand. Like…English.
November 30, 2009 at 11:59 am
I’m almost relieved to see all you guys having trouble reading this… I thought maybe my “House”-like level of Vicodin use was beginning to affect my reading comprehension.
November 30, 2009 at 11:59 am
Oh God. Her blog is even worse.
November 30, 2009 at 12:03 pm
I have an ideal, we should hook up this idiot with the Frappucino addict. I bet Capone31 is capable of generating thousands of e-mails daily after a few coffees:
“How about Starbucks earrings?”
“What do you think about a Starbucks belt buckle?”
“Do you think anyone would buy a Starbucks butt necklace?”
Etc…
November 30, 2009 at 12:03 pm
Oh good lord. I was really hoping that maybe she was based in a non-English-speaking country… but no, she is in my hometown.
November 30, 2009 at 12:04 pm
Also she looks like a reseller.
Not that I’ll flag.
November 30, 2009 at 12:05 pm
I just checked out her shop and was surprised to find that she actually has some pretty good ideals. Plus, she has a mannequin with realistic looking nipples. How whimsicle is that?
November 30, 2009 at 12:05 pm
“#7 FoldingMetalChairs :
IF I had 19.99 I would buy it, just to see what Ideals she would give me, ahahahahahaha”
I would donate a dollar to that cause, in return for full transcripts. Maybe if we all pitch in…
November 30, 2009 at 12:05 pm
Hmmm, maybe I should let her presser me so that I can get rid of some of these wrinkles.
November 30, 2009 at 12:06 pm
I deal ideal ideals.
November 30, 2009 at 12:07 pm
“I have a new ideal for you shop. Why don’t you use more comic sans? it is a wonderfol font”
November 30, 2009 at 12:07 pm
Awfully idealistic, isn’t she?
November 30, 2009 at 12:09 pm
i certainly hope that my ideals are strong enough to resist paying some dumb ass to help me come up with ideas. cuz i’m thinking that if she doesn’t know the difference between ideals and ideas that, just perhaps, i don’t know, this MIGHT be a waste of money. and not wasting money is one of my personal ideals.
November 30, 2009 at 12:09 pm
I gave up on this listing once I figured that I could only answer “no” to the ‘Do you understand what I am saying’ question.
I was strangely inspired to check out the rest of her listings though.
The descriptions hurt my eyes, but I’m betting it won’t be long before she sells these:
Leg Clingers Are Designed To Put On The Bottom Of Your Pants To Give Your Pants A New Fresh and Different Look
November 30, 2009 at 12:11 pm
I didn’t know I needed help with my ideals. If and when I ask for assistance, it will be from someone who has some knowledge of the English language.
November 30, 2009 at 12:11 pm
Will she be giving us bright “ideals” like this brilliant yarn pom pom? http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=19473123
November 30, 2009 at 12:11 pm
comma splicer, you are my hero for today. i totally <3 you!
November 30, 2009 at 12:12 pm
one Ideal for the seller:
“Annoying Descriptions” + “Spelling Issues” = regrestsy pain
November 30, 2009 at 12:12 pm
um, regretsy. oops!
November 30, 2009 at 12:14 pm
Hang on…what? (head just exploded)
November 30, 2009 at 12:14 pm
For $5.00 she will email you a poorly-lit photo she took of a church in Philadelphia that you can use as your cell phone background.
Because “I don’t know if you have ever been to Philadelphia, PA before or not, or if you ever wanted to come to Philadelphia, PA or not, but wouldn’t it be cool to have a pictures or photos of Philadelphia, PA as some of your Cell Phone Screen Savers. It would be kind of like you were here before.:-)”
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=30919945
November 30, 2009 at 12:15 pm
I have a headache now.
November 30, 2009 at 12:16 pm
She’s a stalker…for $19.99
November 30, 2009 at 12:19 pm
…as I pace my padded cell, I will be pressering myself to come up with more ideals.I will check on you in between my woke hours and medication. That is when the best ideals come to me, do you know what I mean, I hope you do.
November 30, 2009 at 12:22 pm
oh. dear. god. she’s barely literate. and about 99% of her listings are NOT handmade or vintage. i reported a lot of her crap to etsy.
November 30, 2009 at 12:23 pm
OK, I’ve had a bug up my butt for awhile and I’m going to let it loose here. You can sell “ideals” tarot card readings, psychic stuff and other mumbojumbo but if I want to post a listing for shipping upgrade, since it is apparently beyond Etsy’s technical ability to offer shipping choices, even though the item arrives with a very tangible “priority” sticker, I’m in the wrong.
Excuse me, methinks I need a cool compress and a lay down.
November 30, 2009 at 12:27 pm
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November 30, 2009 at 12:30 pm
Seriously. This hurts. Apparently she took ‘Hooked on Phonics’ a bit too seriously.
I think we need to spend more money on education.
November 30, 2009 at 12:35 pm
@ whimsy #35
you have no idea how much Regretsians liking me has improved a crappy day.
@ vangoghbabe #42, that’s a frighteningly accurate portrayal. I bet you’re one of those Method actors, aren’t you?
November 30, 2009 at 12:38 pm
#47
You have no idea(ls)
November 30, 2009 at 12:43 pm
lilprincess…my wife, a teacher, once had a mother of a student in the school office insisting that her child was improving due to the use of her new “Hooked on `Phoenix’” program.
November 30, 2009 at 12:47 pm
That Rocked my Casbah and diddled my brain parts! Please take away her pens, pencils and keyboard.
November 30, 2009 at 12:48 pm
What do you wanna bet her first idealization is “Be more whimsicle”…
November 30, 2009 at 12:51 pm
She should be Sarah Palin’s campaign manager, the U.S. could use some new ideals.
November 30, 2009 at 12:56 pm
“Do you own a Cell Phone? And does your Cell Phone have a Screen Saver to Display Any Photo you want?
If you answered yes to both of these questions.
Then you can own, this Photo of a Large Beautiful Philadelphia Church taken by me.”
Lol, quite the marketer this one is. For the low, low price of $5.00…that’s 5 easy installments of $1.00…you too can experience the majesty of Philadelphia on your very own cell phone. Buy now and receive a complimentary giant shoe pom pom (a $5.00…
November 30, 2009 at 12:58 pm
“I toke this picture”… does that mean she smoked the picture or was toking on something when she took the picture or even when she made the damn listing?
November 30, 2009 at 1:02 pm
jesus, i can’t even follow all these writing..
by the time i finished reading, i forgot what
she’s talking about..
November 30, 2009 at 1:07 pm
I have a college professor with a doctorate that thinks the word is “ideals” when she means to use “ideas.”
November 30, 2009 at 1:08 pm
This may be the most awesome post ever…what a spectacular sense of entrepeneurship! I’m not very crafty–no hot glue guns, knitting needles, or Starbucks caps for me. However, I have a lot of shit going on in my head and would love to unload some of it AND get paid at the same time!! Maybe I will sell my honest feedback to your etsy shop!! Do you think someone will pay me $29.99 to tell them to stop making drink cosies with vaginas on them? Oh, the possiblities…I feel full of ideals!
November 30, 2009 at 1:09 pm
SIGN ME UP
November 30, 2009 at 1:10 pm
She should be her first customer and look at this listing herself. And she will find this ideal to dum
November 30, 2009 at 1:20 pm
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
November 30, 2009 at 1:20 pm
Ok, I don’t know whether to laugh, cry or crap my pants. No presser ofcourse..
Helen, you’re killering me, this has to be the most fricken halarious and idealized submission I’ve ever seen (yes!) on regretsy
GOLD!!! GOLD!!!
November 30, 2009 at 1:22 pm
wha?? She only ships her idealizing to the United States?
Thats not very idealistic
November 30, 2009 at 1:25 pm
@ 52 Honest Ape: LOL, her campaign slogan could be: “Palin 2012 – Because know ideals are to dum.”
November 30, 2009 at 1:32 pm
This is exactly like one of those “Get Rich Quick” scams, except far more whimsicle.
November 30, 2009 at 1:44 pm
i think she’s on to us, she just changed it to “do you need help with ideaizing?” holy crap that’s even funnier
November 30, 2009 at 1:44 pm
Okay Helen, I vote you buy this and then post the results. Wah lah! Seven days of funny for only $19.99.
November 30, 2009 at 1:49 pm
I have a question (and its Tuesday so maybe i have to wait another week to ask, but…)
In number 4- She states “I Will Stay With You For 7 Days”
So she is moving in as well? I don’t have a spare bed, so is the floor idealized? No presser.
November 30, 2009 at 1:50 pm
Hmm, well, if I’m making sense of this awful mess, she’s selling her marketing and product development skills/advice.
Considering how well she has developed and marketed her idea(l), though, I’d say at $19.99 it’s seriously overpriced. In fact, seeing as how it would be an honest-to-God waste of time for anyone who is silly enough to use her “skills,” she should be volunteering them. Or better yet, taking an ESL class.
November 30, 2009 at 1:52 pm
@#64 Weberly: OMFG, you’re right, she changed “ideal” to “idea” throughout her description! It would be really hysterical if she also whited-out the “L” on the photo.
November 30, 2009 at 1:59 pm
@ #39 ChronicFabulist- I was going through her other listings to share a laugh with my teen daughter & decided to see if there was some kind of right-click protection.
Right-click and save the “Big and Beautiful Church from Philadelphia, PA” for free, or we can send her $5 to email it to us.
I think I’ll open an etsy shop so I can sell the photos I took- I mean, toke- myself in Australia. “I don’t live in Australia, but I went there once & for $5, it will seem like you were too!”
November 30, 2009 at 2:02 pm
A classic example of why the American public school system is failing us.
November 30, 2009 at 2:03 pm
3 hearts. WHO THE HELL HEARTED THIS THING?
November 30, 2009 at 2:04 pm
OMG she has changed number 5- The HOLE world!!
5. I Will Be Sharing My Thoughts With You:
Note: I will be giving you Ideas out of my head. Ideas I will think up for you to use for you Item or Items, or for your shop, or for both. Ideals I would use for myself, if your shop was my shop. Do you know what I mean, I hope you do. I don’t want you to think I am going to use your Ideas, I have a enough Ideas for you, and me, and the hole World! LOL
.
November 30, 2009 at 2:07 pm
Looking at her shop, the thing that I find most disturbing is the fact that she seems to own several different mannequins. How creepy is that?
November 30, 2009 at 2:07 pm
As it’s Monday I will offer the seller one of my own ideals, absolutely free. It is along the lines of #2 “enhancing your items to give a little add on, or just to give it a different look”. Here it is, so notebook at the ready:
However resourceful it may be to print out a Comic Sans text, cut around it with pinking shears and photograph it using your duvet as a backdrop, there are alternatives. Most of them involve free photoediting programs.
Please do not take it personal. Just my…
November 30, 2009 at 2:08 pm
…..thouhts.
November 30, 2009 at 2:10 pm
# 74 ROFL
November 30, 2009 at 2:11 pm
Please do not take it personal but I’m confused. How will you know I’m asking questions towards you if question marks are optional. Do you understand what I am saying.
November 30, 2009 at 2:12 pm
@#3… just what you said.
November 30, 2009 at 2:24 pm
1. The 30 Days Diet Watcher
2. The Golden Rule Earrings of PomPom ‘creator’
3. The Idealize lady
And the 4th Horseman of the Apocalypse is….
November 30, 2009 at 2:46 pm
So she just got the idea that ideal was not right but she has made it worse by using “ideaizing”. And she didn’t even bother to change all the other mistakes. Clearly, she needs to read more of our totally FREE regretsy ideaizings.
November 30, 2009 at 2:50 pm
What will it be next: idead, ideaing, ideaization, ideaingly?
November 30, 2009 at 2:51 pm
jesus christ on a laptop.
also: WHAT. THE. FUCK.
November 30, 2009 at 2:51 pm
Really? UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!I am truly bedazzled. An Etsy Whore…………..19.99…..How many days do I get her for again?
November 30, 2009 at 2:52 pm
Well, I have just perused the blog. I would encourage all Regretsians to play the wonderful “Come on and Play (The Guess What’s in the Box Game) Free Gift Give Away”
http://dimensionalvisiongame.blogspot.com/2009/10/come-on-and-play-guess-whats-in-box.html
The rules and conditions took me 30 minutes to get through, but it will be total worth it if I win the
“Fun and Cute Fashionable Arm Sleeves Wear Up or Down on Your Arm”
November 30, 2009 at 2:54 pm
The shop might be be more aptly named Delusional Vision.
November 30, 2009 at 2:56 pm
Her blog game instructions just melted my brain.
November 30, 2009 at 3:01 pm
Hey! U just checked this out, and she changed her spelling, it now says IDEAS instead of ideals.
Luckily for all of us she still says agrees that “know question is to dum”…
November 30, 2009 at 3:07 pm
Wiktionary: ideal
Positive
ideal
Comparative
more ideal
Superlative
most ideal
1. Optimal; being the best possibility.
2. Perfect, flawless, having no defects.
3. Existing only in the mind; conceptual, imaginary.
There is so much wrong with this post, but the kicker is her central theme is misspelled. Or perhaps she doesn’t understand the difference between an idea and an ideal?
Don’t even get me Started on the Spurious capitalization.
November 30, 2009 at 3:10 pm
Okay, you found that, but perhaps more troubling? THIS:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=33776751
Here’s an ideal- BURN IT.
November 30, 2009 at 3:11 pm
ideal (plural ideals)
1. A perfect standard of beauty, intellect etc., or a standard of excellence to aim at.
2. (mathematics, order theory) A subset of a partially ordered set comprising an element and all elements less than it.
English grammar is hard. Especially when you don’t understand the difference between a noun and an adjective in the first place.
P.S. When in doubt, add letters onto the end of your word and then capitalize it. It reads more impressively.
November 30, 2009 at 3:16 pm
Are you there DimensionalVision? It’s me, Frankenkitty. I don’t need help with my idealizing, or my ideaizing, whatever that means, but do have some other questions.
1. Why do my gray hairs stick straight up like some kind of wiry Alfalfa hair, no matter how much hair product I use?
2. Am I the only person that doesn’t give a shit about Twilight?
3. Why does my dog incessantly lick her ass, and snack from the litter box?
I’ll be waiting.
Love, Frankenkitty.
November 30, 2009 at 3:22 pm
. . .my brain hurts.
November 30, 2009 at 3:23 pm
First time I’ve seen this kind of whimsicle fuckery give so many a brain cramp!
November 30, 2009 at 3:25 pm
But does she have decails for your car so you can express your ideallll thughts that she may share with me?
November 30, 2009 at 3:26 pm
and why oh why oh why was this not given an honorable mention…. http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=18472660
November 30, 2009 at 3:29 pm
#88 Jen thank you for the link to the game on her blog – now my brain is completely done and i have to go to sleep and start over tomorrow. I think this was my favorite (part):
“Important Note: You can only Enter in to Win, The What’s in the Box Game Twice. That is it. Please, (Listen and Know) if I see you have enter in more then Twice, I am going to, and have to, take you Completely out of The Guess What’s in the Box Game. I am very sorry, but it is only fair to the other (Players).”
November 30, 2009 at 3:30 pm
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November 30, 2009 at 3:33 pm
I don’t need her ideals… I live like I’m dying to The Golden Rule.
November 30, 2009 at 3:35 pm
ooh, ooh, I know…
“know question is to dum”
like “etsy is to crafts”
November 30, 2009 at 3:49 pm
I really hope her First Language isn’t (English).
November 30, 2009 at 4:02 pm
Since “know questions are to dum”, I agree that we pitch in to purchase this, uh, “item”, and make the very most of “Email Unlimited Questions for 3 Days” by pooling our queries to her. it may be enough to discourage her from relisting such a grandiose offering in the future.
I have a sleeper sofa, so I’ll put her up for one of the 7 days.
November 30, 2009 at 4:14 pm
Hey, my grandma used to get a coffee table magazine called “Ideals” back in the ’80s! How’s this for a 2009 “Ideals” update?
:
http://i762.photobucket.com/albums/xx262/hammerhead77/regretsy-ideals.jpg
November 30, 2009 at 4:24 pm
What is a pamjama, a brand name?
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=17545208
November 30, 2009 at 4:26 pm
Brilliant, as always, Hammerhead!
November 30, 2009 at 4:30 pm
#106 hammerhead – you’re my hero.
November 30, 2009 at 4:37 pm
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November 30, 2009 at 4:45 pm
Hammerhead, you’re a genius!
November 30, 2009 at 4:58 pm
ok, so after I read this, I actually went off and tried to read something else normal.
Well i couldnt. Her ideaising has made my brain dum. I couldnt make sense of what i was reading because she had temporarily short circuited and rewired my brain placing presser on my dimensional vision.
November 30, 2009 at 5:04 pm
Funniest interactive thread ever. The jokes just write themselves.
November 30, 2009 at 5:15 pm
#99 mamaslittlemonkeys :
and why oh why oh why was this not given an honorable mention…. http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=18472660
hmm, good question..but there is nothing
“little” about that Bow
November 30, 2009 at 5:22 pm
I would mail her the following questions:
1. Got any ideals for my etsy shop?
2. Got any ideas for my etsy shop?
3. Are you laughing at me right now?
4. Are you out of your fucking mind?
5. Can I have my money back?
6. What are you wearing right now?
November 30, 2009 at 5:23 pm
She edited it? I think she should just remove it and save herself the embarrassment!
November 30, 2009 at 5:29 pm
#95 Frankenkitty…no you are not alone. I don’t give two shits about Twilight. I won’t even read the books or watch the movies now because the hype has ruined any interest I might have had before now.
Now I just feel nauseated every time I hear mention of it…bleh.
November 30, 2009 at 5:34 pm
I just got a very pleasant convo from her. She couldn’t answer my questions, but now I feel like a big old meanie.
November 30, 2009 at 5:54 pm
#104 Regretsy is making me realize how common functional illiteracy is.
November 30, 2009 at 6:13 pm
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November 30, 2009 at 6:32 pm
Shared this with a friend this evening and she had to stop reading to wipe the tears from her eyes. Reading the description out loud actually made another patron move from the table next to us.
November 30, 2009 at 6:33 pm
#99 — oh yeah, love the belt
But what the hell is a “tack top”?
“NOTE: Only Belt is for SELL Only in Picture.
Pants and Top is not for SELL.”
November 30, 2009 at 6:34 pm
She may have corrected “Ideals” to “Ideas” in her listing, but she didn’t change the tags. *headdesk*
November 30, 2009 at 6:46 pm
Man, we have got to hook her up with the vagina painting chic. I would freaking love to read that exchange.
November 30, 2009 at 7:17 pm
know questions are to dum…only sellers
November 30, 2009 at 7:22 pm
#124 – I was thinking that she should go into business with that “peach portal” seller who has that 30 days diet thing. Between the two of them, they could write a 200 page blog and not make a lick of sense. (If they could just find someone who pays by the word…)
November 30, 2009 at 8:37 pm
Oh dear… http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=28348075
I make jewelry. This woman gave me an “ideal”- buy cheap plastic “crystals”, shove them on bits of a dog leash, and post them with an absurdly incomprehensible caption.
I really want to see what “ideals” she’d give to an Etsy shop. I’m afraid if too many sellers took her advice, there’d be an outbreak of brain aneuresyms from people attempting to read the captions.
November 30, 2009 at 8:47 pm
@#18
it’s not the right Monday…give her a week to get prepared… she probably isn’t woke yet.
November 30, 2009 at 8:50 pm
@frankenkitty add a 100 to that 18…#118
November 30, 2009 at 8:53 pm
Well its Tuesday here, and i have to wait for her to finish toking so I can ask her question next Monday.
See she doesnt do weekends, she get that exhausted from sharing her ideals with the *hole world*.
see its a lotta presser carrying a notebook around with her when she is woke.
November 30, 2009 at 8:57 pm
Thanks for sharing your thouhts.
November 30, 2009 at 8:58 pm
Oh wait! She has PAMJAMAS! http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=17545208
I wonder if it would be possible to get a pair of tomjamas and maybe some etheljamas…
November 30, 2009 at 9:01 pm
yeah the pamjamas are for weekends, when she doesnt do weekends when she is woke
November 30, 2009 at 9:05 pm
Oh my god, can you really do this? Charge people $20 to offer them random ideas and tell them what to do? I THINK I FOUND MY NEW CAREER.
November 30, 2009 at 9:09 pm
@#134 Redshirt
yeah, she has all the best ideals..she’s got the hole world in her hands…well, notebook.
November 30, 2009 at 9:16 pm
I think you guys might think I was joking when I said that she convoed me. She really did, as did another seller who was featured here. Why this lady hasn’t removed this listing, I don’t know.
November 30, 2009 at 9:20 pm
@Frankenkitty
Oh, beliefed you…I knew you weren’t loosing it.
November 30, 2009 at 9:30 pm
I bet English is her second language. I worked with a lot of ESL kids in college as a writing tutor and they thought they were being all fancy and formal with words like “idealizing” instead of idea. They just didn’t know what they were saying was silly. As an editor, I cringe/laugh/sigh when I see suxh misuse of the English language. Srsly, if any of the sellers (or other ppl) who have trouble with English see this and would like help, I’d be more than willing to edit. And for less than 19…
November 30, 2009 at 9:31 pm
suxh…serves me right
November 30, 2009 at 10:03 pm
@#64 Weberly: Do you suppose if we kept commenting, she’d eventually fix the entire post?
@#138 sbarnes2: I wouldn’t be so sure of that. I tutor English right now, and this is downright comprehensible compared to some native English speakers I see. Besides, although idea/ideal is common in ESL students, I don’t see other common ESL mistakes (especially in tense shifting). I do see common American illiterate mistakes, though.
November 30, 2009 at 10:18 pm
Spelling and grammar aside, I have to say the concept of this listing is ludicrous simply because Etsyers sell such a wide variety of things. Does she really think she can supply equally useful “ideals” to blacksmiths/knitters/painters alike?
It’s been my experience that people who don’t do the specific crafty things I do are COMPLETELY CLUELESS about what is and is not feasible. I suppose she could assist with marketing, but that brings us back to the spelling/grammar issue…
November 30, 2009 at 10:21 pm
#95 Frankenkitty:
1. Why do my gray hairs stick straight up like some kind of wiry Alfalfa hair, no matter how much hair product I use?
They just do.
2. Am I the only person that doesn’t give a shit about Twilight?
Nope.
3. Why does my dog incessantly lick her ass, and snack from the litter box?
Tastes good, tastes good.
That’ll be $19.98. I’m running a special. It includes stalking.
November 30, 2009 at 10:26 pm
i just got done toking and it’s all making sense now…..
November 30, 2009 at 10:44 pm
#143, are you referring to the listing that #42 mentioned? b/c she likes to toke, too…LOL
“Note: I toke this picture myself.”
Maybe if she layed off the mary jane, she’d be able to spell…nah, nevermind I know plenty of potheads and they’re brilliant compared to this gal…
November 30, 2009 at 11:58 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
December 1, 2009 at 12:04 am
Email on Day 8:
‘I have too ticket to Madame Butterfly. I think it would be a great Ideal for us to go to seal it at the theaters’
Email on Day 9
‘Where have you bean why are you not answering me? Not that I live at the computer but I thought that would be a good Ideal’
Email on Day 10
‘btw I’m pregnant with our baby!’
Email on day 11
‘WHERE ARE YOU?! I’M NOT GOING TO BE IGNORED, DAN!’
December 1, 2009 at 1:39 am
This item and thread has to go down as a Regretsy classic. I am riveted.
Although after what Frankenkitty said about the pleasant convo she received, I feel like a bit of a meanie too. The seller is probably a very sweet person, if somewhat delusional. Kinda hoping that she’ll remove the item and save herself the embarrassment.
BTW I don’t think it’s ESL either. I am putting my money on some sort of Pidgin English.
December 1, 2009 at 1:47 am
Also, I would actually love for her to give me some ideals.
Depraved and unscrupulous scrumbag that I am.
December 1, 2009 at 6:43 am
#144-”nah, nevermind I know plenty of potheads and they’re brilliant compared to this gal”
so true!!!
so i couldn’t go to sleep until I really figured it out…I think this girl probably gave a friend some advice and the friend was all like..girl…you can probably make money on your ideals, and wah-lah…an etsy posting is created….If I ran with every ideal a friend told me was a good one I’d definitely make it to the ranks of regretsy.
December 1, 2009 at 7:05 am
I didn’t get a chance to look, can I get this gift wrapped, and is that extra?
December 1, 2009 at 7:58 am
i don’t know, i’m starting to think she might actually have 20 bucks worth of ideals, am i tripping or has she figured out how to sew a pair of socks?!
December 1, 2009 at 8:08 am
Do you have a pair of jeans that “fit you perfect” but maybe look a little too ordinary or are just too heavy for your warm climate? Look no further — she takes custom orders!
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=15825025
December 1, 2009 at 8:31 am
So, can I buy this using my $50 gift ceretificate?
At least she spelled it right on the item listing and only spelled it wrong in the category…
December 1, 2009 at 8:50 am
laughed so hard I cried. my roommate heard me from the other room and said, “Regretsy?”
December 1, 2009 at 9:17 am
oh dear, yes that does come with a gift box, and it’s really really ugly.
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=16403435
December 1, 2009 at 9:37 am
This is like a conversation with a homeless guy at a Liquor Store.
“Answer me this question why.
I’d like to pontiacifciate on the Visquel as to where on the graph do the fine, the cheap and the good enterbisex and that’s what I want.”
I’m also guessing one of those ideals you’ll get for $19.99 is Robert Goulet telling me not to change a thing or a picture of Erik Estrada from Chips calling me a derogatory word.
December 1, 2009 at 3:18 pm
Holy stinkin’ crap. Wtf is up with all of her ideals? What’s an “ideal” anyway? Is it a noun?
File in:
Not Remotely Handmade
Comic Sans Overload
December 1, 2009 at 5:55 pm
you keep using that word. i do not think it means what you think it means
December 1, 2009 at 6:01 pm
152: Seriously? 3-4 weeks to “upcycle” my jeans by shredding them? I did something similar to my jeans in junior high using my mom’s roto cutter and it took me all of ten minutes. I should have gone into business. I could be a millionaire by now.
December 2, 2009 at 7:45 am
152 & 159: It says
“I deal on the basic of first come first serive.”
Is it “I deal” or “Ideal”? I’m confused.
December 2, 2009 at 10:42 am
#1 HermesGoddess :
Holy. Shit.
—–
You and I shared the same Ideal about printing out word responds.
December 2, 2009 at 8:42 pm
How about we barter? You teach me ideals and I help you find the spell-checker.
December 2, 2009 at 11:26 pm
I’m just glad I finally found a store for those times when I “fill” like buying some “pamjamas”.
December 3, 2009 at 12:03 am
Dear God. I’m going to have nightmares about this Mrs. Grench thing for weeks now.
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=18079391
December 3, 2009 at 7:49 pm
a) Absolutely the best thing I’ve read on Regretsy. And possibly, in the past 5 years.
b) I am entirely tempted to buy this. Who doesn’t have $20 laying around for the kind of theorizing that could change your life?
c) Helen, you asked a question at the end. I hope you weren’t expecting a response until Monday.
December 9, 2009 at 6:15 pm
why isn’t this also filed in “Not remotely handmade?”
December 11, 2009 at 6:48 am
I can’t believe no one thought to ask if she was single. What a catch she would make – just imagine all the interesting convos you could have (at breakfast; in the ‘Twilight’ period after lovemaking, etc.) I refuse to read her profile cuz I prefer to dream hat all my dreams can be idealized.
And yes, she should seriously be tapped as a speechwriter for the “Palin/Quayle 2012″ campaign.
December 15, 2009 at 10:59 pm
I am so tempted to buy this, just to experience it.
December 21, 2009 at 2:38 pm
So she changed it to “Ideas” but didn’t correct the spelling anywhere else, including “Know questions or questions is to dum.” Nor did she change the tags to “Ideas” instead of “Enhance Old Ideals.”
Awesome.
December 12, 2011 at 11:58 am
Random button brought me here. This sold on October 1 2010. *facepalm*