And I will not pretend to know why you’re wearing a girls sweater.
Ironically, he sells combs.
What’s being sold? A sweater or a vague new age awareness mantra?
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wasn’t this just featured in etsys email they send out?
The level of pretentiousness must be directly in proportion to the lack of bathing.
or was it featured in a Gift Guide?
THat guy is HOT! Seriously Hot Hot HOT!
from profile “100% Mother Earth Approved”
Mother Earth did not approve any of this.
#4 NinjaGato : Pretty ironic considering one of the tags is “Charlie Brown”…
The title is strange…
it was on the front page:)
is this store selling handmade crap russel brand clones then? MY SWEATY-WEATER
I know it’s just the weird position/camera angle but he looks like a bobble head Jesus in an ugly womens sweater.
His head looks WAY too big for the torso. Like it was photoshopped on a 12 year old’s body.
AH HA! It was on the front Page! I KNEW I had seen it : )
Thank you poppyswickedgarden : )
I will not pretend to wait for you to wake up again, Snoopy…
Man, he must have squeezed into that thing with a lot of effort! Looks like one of my 7 year olds sized sweaters. How many people did it take to get it off him after?
Everydaymama- I’m sure he’s still wearing it. After all homeless people tend to wear all of their clothes at the same time.
Which begs the question : Do homeless men look like Jesus or did Jesus look like a homeless man?
While this guy is busy forgetting Sarah Marshall, I am busy wondering where I can find those high waisted pants he says will look good with this.
I love how he’s all, “Aw shucks” looking like he’s kicking imaginary rocks in his poses.
I noticed those pants too sillymerricat- I bet they’re bell bottoms and they’re older than he is.
Etsy: So easy a caveman can do it!
At first I thought he was modeling Data’s uniform from Star Trek next Generation.
Seriously, etsy? The front page? Why in the eff does etsy think this is front page worthy?
I will not pretend to understand why you have a giant head.
It’s the Tin Man and cowardly lion all rolled in to one!
is there a crazy camera amgle thing going on here or is his head WAY too big for his bizarrely narrow body?
#24- oh snap! lol
#24 and #26 I noticed this also. He is like a Blythe doll!
Uh-oh…looks like Dave Gahan fell off the wagon. Way, way off.
Holy Shit- It’s Blythe Jesus! I wonder if he gets his tops on by stepping into them and pulling them on too?
Maybe the sweater is so tight its squeezing the bejesus out of him and making his head inflate
man.. whats with the hair?? he sells combs but cant use one?
Ninjagato.. he DOES look like a bobble head.. or one of those muppets with the oversized heads
I think I fancy him a bit
he sells combs? I see a couple of Cosby sweaters but no combs.
KILL IT WITH FIRE
I will not pretend to know that I am completely at a loss as to what the heck this guy is selling
Hello Happy, that may be the only way to disinfect that sweater.
this guy gets on the front page? crap must take note NOT to bathe before photo shoots. Of course my buyers may not like that so much…
I can’t believe people actually buy this shit. Can you imagine the odor???
Why are people saying he’s dirty? I think he looks nice and has lovely shiny, shiny clean hair.
The sweater and quirky poetry on the other hand…
I don’t know… I could kind of see The Artist Formerly Known As The Artist Formerly Known As Prince wearing this.
“- Model stands 6’2″, 160 pounds – ”
I’m sure that matters somehow…but I care more about penis size than weight.
Women’s sweater? More like 5 year old’s Charlie Brown costume.
he has a seriously tiny body!!!!
And when did etsy become a garage sale for crap?
#44 6’2″?! More like 5′ nothing!
And if the sweater has, like, reindeer on it http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=34594112 or is a funny color like yellow, I’m sorry. You can’t get away with a sweater like that. Look for brown or grey or blue.
Honestly though, If he had a coy smile and an acoustic guitar… yeah, I could totally overlook the sweater.
A grown man in a Mickey Mouse sweater. Perfectly fine, perfectly normal.
I just don’t get it why you have a guy modeling women’s sweater? At least say the sweater is unisex or something!
Seriously. What the “vintage” category seems to mean to this type of seller seems to be “go to thrift store/garage sale/homeless shelter, get some tacky old clothes, then take cheezy photos and list at 500%+ of the original price.” And yet, this guy has made 95 sales…man, maybe I should get in on the cash grab.
desida- I’m thinking a trip to Goodwill is in my future too. Shit just think of all the tacky ass jewelry I could sell.
Russell Brand in a casual mood
#36 NinjaGato :
he sells combs? I see a couple of Cosby sweaters but no combs.[/quote]
Dude, I actually saw a kid at In N Out rockin’ a Cosby sweater last week…on purpose! Coogi Sweaters are making a comeback!
Looks like a lollipop rolled in hair and dipped in hashish.
Heh, people, I was joking. I think this practice (buy something used for cheap, then turn around and resell it for many times the price) is the only one on Etsy I find more offensive than “buy a bunch of cheap supplies at Michael’s, spend 5 minutes hot-gluing them together, then charge 10 times what the materials and work could possibly be worth” (i.e., people like Bird Brain girl). Though at least this guy isn’t presenting himself as a “craftsperson,” so that’s a point in his favour.
Hmmm…I actually think that the titles of his items might be why people are buying his stuff. I once had a buyer tell me she bought something because I named it, “Dr. Strangetail Or How I Learned to Stop Roaring and Love My Mom.”
That’s it, I am off to rearrange Lyrics from Ziggy Stardust to rename my stuff!
(I am also having a hard time wrapping my head around the idea that 80s=vintage, but I suppose it does, *sigh*)
he looks so annoying
The dude looks like Russell Brand, but I’m having a hard time imagining Russell Brand participating in a sweater-based scenario like this.
i’ll take a side of emo poetry with that!
The really cool thing about tripping on acid is that you can make a trip to the thrift shop, buy a few bags of clothes, try them on, take photos, write some crazy-ass titles, list them on Etsy, and still have time to get to the rave before your buzz wears off.
Sillymericat, the first time I heard an “80s oldies” station, I had to sit down and pout. I’m in my early 30s, I happily remember the 80s, and they are not oldies yet! Oldies == Dad’s music. Sheesh!
I’m sorry, but this sweater absolutely must REEK of incense and tuna after this “photo shoot”.
Look at the size of that boy’s head! I’m not kidding, that’s like an orange on a toothpick! Well, that’s a huge noggin! That’s a virtual planetoid! Has its own weather system! Head! Move!
Head! Paper! Now! move that melon of yours and get the paper if you can! Haulin’ that gargantuan cranium about! I’m not kidding, that boy’s head’s like Sputnik! Spherical, but quick pointy in parts.
He’ll be crying himself to sleep tonight on his *huge* pillow!
I bet this guy has a giant roofy pillow on his bed.
I’m dating myself with that quote, aren’t I?
Lucy is openly contemptuous of Charlie Brown, having no qualms whatsoever about crushing his hopes and telling him that he is worthless, friendless, and destined to be a failure..as Charlie and his hair grew, his sweater did not..thus leading him to this.
No more pretending loser…
I think Helen nailed it. The Pretend-tiousness of this guy’s shop is staggering.
Makes me wanna slap that crimson bliss bird brain on his bejesus bobble head and then just laugh at him some more.
Poor Geico Caveman.
Captain Kirk’s gay brother.
It’s a Kavorkian sweater…you put it on…and it squeezes the life right out of you.
Borrowed a bit from “Kavorkian Scarf” Neurotically Yours cartoon.
…proving that every state has a dumpster in back of Goodwill…
“Hey skinny guy is that sweater itchy?”
“That’s the reason I threw it out.”
Am I allowed to be upset that he’s selling this: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=34650839 without removing the embroidery and appliqués first? As a former FFA member, how do we know the coat was not lost or stolen? FFA members know that those are supposed to be removed before donating or selling.
he’s cute! i had a boyfriend that looked just like him..
So am I to believe that now every ugly undersized sweater is considered ironic hipster treasure?
#68 – not only do I know that quote…I love the movie AND own the soundtrack. We can wallow in our collective out-of-dateness.
“Harriet. Harriet. Hard hearted harbinger of Haggass”
ROFL at his banner…”I am your big brother”
I am seriously more concerned about his accessories than his sweaters. Ack! A guy in a Mickey Mouse sweater would look like a dork. A guy in that sweater plus a straw hat, unnecessary glasses, and a slew of bracelets. . . well, he just looks like a dork who is trying too hard. The former has the possibility of being a lovable dork. The latter will always be a fucking douche.
#79 At least someone got it (and appreciated it) – yay!
OK, now I feel a bit ill.
We should introduce him to the girl that made “Dreadful”
Wow. It’s Pretentious Man! “Model stands 6’2″, weighs 160 lbs:. Who the fuck cares? No wonder he’s an Etsy Admin fave — he seems to be everything they admire: narcissistic, pompous, affected and self conscious.
Anyone else think he could be the new Cubist Literature?
What the fuck is Rusell Brand doing on etsy?
How did they get the Geico caveman to model for them?
This guy is really nasty looking…
#42 Whimsicko I hope that’s sarcasm.. the guy looks like he hasn’t washed in a day and Just rolled out of bed didn’t even bother to brush his hair. he has BED hair.
that and he’s wearing a sweater obviously meant for a 12 year old boy or a 9 year old girl. he needs to move his hair. i cant tell how large that neck hole is and if it would choke you to death to wear
Looks like over the years this vintage sweater has been put in the dryer…
gaaah….this person’s etsy page is multiple pictures of our escaped cult member here — and descriptions of old crap clothes that can only be described as “wimsickle fukkery” HOLY CRAP
but #65 he’d be vegetarian and not likely to go anywhere near tuna….. or any other fishy smells for that matter…
i wouldn’t wear anything that guy’s skin or rat nest, er, hair had touched.
looks like robert patter… whatever-his-fuckin’-name-is after six months in Forks, WA.
as for the abnormally large head thing… either he consistently photographs himself in the strangest manner, or that guys head is at LEAST 3/4 as wide as his shoulders.
Love the Shop Announcement:
….You are what you wear….wear well….
So he must be baby poop with dandruff shoulders?
Ew. Big Brother looks like he smells like a mix of patchouli, mildew and pot. YUCK Reminds me of college.
In all honesty, I do not understand this at all. I looked at the picture trying to figure out what was for sale; I thought it was the necklace/watch he’s wearing, in keeping with the title of the post. Speaking of which, have you seen the titles of the other items for sale in the shop? For example: “The left hand of nothingness conducting the melodies of the abyss of psychic enchantments….” or how about this to sell a vest: “Satan dances of death and doom our time has finally come”…
Boo. No one liked my comment.
Yea. I think he’s hot.
the titles in the shop are horrible super-pretentious, but what’s going on with everyone bashing the model?
i don’t like long hair on men, and to me he looks a bit like “heeeey, i just came back from indiaaaa”, but he seems perfectly clean to me. the dreadlocks on that one girl, they were gross.
but if this was a girl i’m pretty sure no one here would bother about her hair.
besides, come to berlin! everyone wears stuff like that here. (and there’s lots of people that wash less)
#84 dangerousmezzo :
“No wonder he’s an Etsy Admin fave — he seems to be everything they admire: narcissistic, pompous, affected and self conscious.”
…you forgot bearded!
#98 heidrun you DO realize India has poor to no indoor plumbing? that their version of toilet paper is like our “handmade process recycled” paper with little chips of wood still in it right? that most people bathe at communal out door neighborhood water pumps? most non industrialized countries don’t have toilets or showers.
What IS your version of clean? If this was a girl it’d be just as discussing not that I am sure he isn’t a girl.
I blame him.
I think whimsicle fuckery might be his middle name.
Mother Earth approved huh? Middle earth approved more like it. Wash more.
@ 100: i realize that india is an industrialized country, although many people there are poor, and does have indoor plumbing in most parts of the country. i also realize that in india there is a huge gap between the richest and the poorest, thus it has a lot of different faces, and there’s lots of strange clichés about that country.
nevertheless, that guy looks a bit like a hippie to me, that’s what i was trying to say, but he looks clean. how could you tell he is not?
i think there’s lots of stuff about that listing that is much funnier than lame speculations about his hygiene.
the headline for example is hilarious, i think.
Regretsy is loosing it, i really dont see anything wrong with it other than the odd camera angle that makes his head look big, other than that hes damn Hot! and the headline, well i like it better than saying “yellow long sleeved sweater” boring!…but thats just me!
I think he’s Iranian or Russian. Damn, we need to find out!
The rest of his store just screams out for a Soviet Russia joke.
#106 — I wish you luck, Lucy, but I find this guy anti-hot. One brief glance at his self-conscious posing and my hot, pulsing girl-parts just shrivel up and cool off.
I totally agree that he looks like Russell Brand and I can’t STAND that self-absorbed wanker
He’s had 95 sales, people! Quick! I need to get me an ultra-skinny guy with a big head! I’ll start selling my little sister’s clothes. Any applicants? Your pay will be in whatever clothes don’t sell for a year!
How come nobody smiles at the camera anymore? Or even looks at it?
You are not famous, Yeti-Man of Value Village. The paparazzi are not out to get you. Look up, dammit.
My sister’s boyfriend looks just like this, but a little more dirty (yes!) and a lot more hipster and a lot more going to look like BTK when he cuts off his hair when he starts balding in the future.
Hey Chaka, didn’t you read the tag on the sweater that reads “Dry Clean Only”?
1. its the self absorbed *im so artsy and eco friendly and self aware* posing
2. Its the fact that the jumper on him looks plain stoopid
#111 cancerbaby” You are not famous, Yeti-Man of Value Village. The paparazzi are not out to get you. Look up, dammit.”
Oh, cancerbaby, where ever you are. I love you. He will always be for me “Yeti-Man of Value Village”.
further proof that this gentleman is indeed Russel Brand:
So guys are “dirty” because they have long hair and beards??
#68 and #79
“This po-em. Sucks.”
I have to agree with everyone who disagrees with the hypothesis that this model is dirty. Letting one’s hair dry naturally, potentially resulting in pseudo-dreads is not a sign of “dirtiness”. I let my hair air dry on the weekends, and it winds up a lot more rat’s nest-y than this guy’s is.
However, the incomprehensible poetry titles and the fact that the seller has not actually hand-made the items (at least embellish the thrift store finds – Bedazzle, anyone?) qualify the shop for…
So he couldn’t stop scratching himself long enough to have his picture taken?
Okay everybody, tell me this guy’s hair isn’t screaming for “Crimson Bliss”. Seriously. Picture it.
I saw this on the front page the other day and I could not stop laughing. Infact I can’t stop laughing now, either….bwaaaahahhaha this is great. Check out the other pictures in their shop, they’re just as hilarious.
Is it just me or does anyone else wonder why his hand appears to have been moving in a jerking motion as the picture was taken?
Feelin a little sexy I speculate….. perhaps he had to do something about that? IDK- just sayin??
Pedro chose the wrong wig.
i loved the movie reference, runaway lawyer. and if that makes me wrong, i don’t wanna be right!
the model and all of his crap reminds me of every annoying hirsute hipster in chicago whose patchouli stink i have to wade through to be able to see the stage at shows. and they talk like that to each other – for reals! ah, to live a life of complete contrivance.
This sweater is sold, btw..
ahhh his hair is beautiful ! I wish my hair could look like that :S
where’s that head shrinking dude from the “Beetlejuice” movie? he needs to sprinkle something on this guy and make his head shrink already!
I am incredibly disturbed by his monstrous noggin. Why is his head so BIG? It almost overshadows (or casts a shadow on) that hideous sweater. Almost.
That’s not bad poetry you fucking idiot
it’s a sentence from el topo
even though he’s a fucking loser, you’re still a fucking loser for calling that poetry
go fist your mother
The only reason I registered was so I could make a comment on this post. This guy is freaking HOT. I *really* love his hair. (even this lesbian can see he’s a sexy sexy man, pretentious or not)
My question is whether the sweater comes with blood from his emo self-cuts or not.
The guy is not hot unless you’re one of those freaks who gets turned on looking at Jesus on the cross at church.
His hair would look good on a girl, minus the facial hair. Maybe I should bring his picture the next time I get my hair done.
I bet he smells like an ass bath… gotta have it.
just nasty.. that sweater..where to begin? not sized right, ugly as hell, and most likely made out of acrylic.. Honestly, doesn’t look handmade, either.. I agree with the last post, I don’t think this guy has taken a bath since the beginning of the millenium.
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