105

Bird Brain

So, let’s see. There’s a black satin headband, and a burgundy bow, and a gold and white charm, and what else what else . . oh yeah, A GIANT FUCKING BIRD GLUED TO YOUR HEAD

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105 comments on Bird Brain

  1. somethinghomemade
    November 25, 2009 at 10:00 am

    Hitchcock is screaming in his grave!

    Thumb up Thumb down +26

  2. anti-flamitory
    November 25, 2009 at 10:01 am

    okay i totally just jokingly put one of those things on my head at target JUST THIS MORNING and my daughter made me take it off. “Mom you look stupid.”

    at least i didn’t pay 40 bucks for it, eh?

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  3. Hello Happy
    November 25, 2009 at 10:01 am

    Another example of runway fashion taken straight off the runway and not made wearable by anyone other than Lady Gaga.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  4. krystyna81
    November 25, 2009 at 10:05 am

    You mean you don’t even get that luxurious hair?

    (oh yeah…could someone teach me how to spell luxurious? thanks. Maybe the person who made the diet calender…)

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  5. TheAngstyOne
    November 25, 2009 at 10:05 am

    Do you think she had to nail down the mannequin head so it wouldn’t tip over? Those styrofoam heads fall over if you walk by them quickly.. I know this from experience.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  6. TheAngstyOne
    November 25, 2009 at 10:08 am

    Though, I have to give them credit for using the wig. It creeps me right the hell out looking at people wearing things in their hair or on their body (nasty drive-thru pants makes me shudder to this day). One of the major reasons I refuse to buy things from sellers on Etsy is because people are wearing my item and its OOAK… eww.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  7. portable wig
    November 25, 2009 at 10:09 am

    Good god I took one look and could here birds screaming en masse in my head and the wig flying away in a clawed clutch. Poor naked styrofoam head. And now it’s bleeding!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  8. portable wig
    November 25, 2009 at 10:10 am

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -17

  9. Patty
    November 25, 2009 at 10:10 am

    Is this from a hunting line of accessories? Wear it to draw your quarry, like a duck decoy in the pond?

    Wabbit season? Duck season? Dove season? Styrofoam head season?

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

  10. Efit
    November 25, 2009 at 10:11 am

    I wonder if the seller actually tried this mess on her own stupid head? If so, she might have had one of those light bulbs moments: “Oh yeah, this IS a retarded fucking idea.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  11. TheAngstyOne
    November 25, 2009 at 10:12 am

    One more comment… hopefully this is the last. I think they should change the store name to Glompire Design and they’re clearly glomping things onto headbands.

    For those that do not know “glomp”, Urban Dictionary says it best: “A glomp is often predatory and lies somewhere in the gray area between a caring embrace, and a flying leap to tackle someone.”

    I did not, however, know that glomping was a new craft. I may have to look into it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  12. HermesGoddess
    November 25, 2009 at 10:12 am

    I have to say, maybe it’s because I’m in full holiday baking mode, but “crimson bliss” sounds like something that would be good to eat. Alas, though, it is clearly NOT.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  13. Jea
    November 25, 2009 at 10:12 am

    Snow White Chic

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  14. whimsiclefuckery
    November 25, 2009 at 10:22 am

    For an extra $20 you can get the jacket with the white stain on the shoulder.

    Thumb up Thumb down +42

  15. everydaymama1
    November 25, 2009 at 10:23 am

    If I wore this my cat would attack my head!

    Thumb up Thumb down +28

  16. rodgertheshrubber
    November 25, 2009 at 10:24 am

    #14 whimsiclefuckery ….lol. I was just going to say that a pin with (yes!)bird shit on it would complete the ensemble.

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

  17. spareGus
    November 25, 2009 at 10:31 am

    yeah, I must have bad taste, I love the concept of it, though, I cannot imagine the situation that would require it to be worn. I think the whole thing could have been done a little more elegantly than this, too.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  18. everydaymama1
    November 25, 2009 at 10:31 am

    Just where does one wear a large bird on one’s head anyhow? A pet shop grand opening? Just don’t wear it to any live predatory bird sanctuaries, or you may regret it!

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  19. martini
    November 25, 2009 at 10:32 am

    Do you keep this thing in a cage when you’re not wearing it?

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  20. ohsoretro
    November 25, 2009 at 10:38 am

    If it was about a third of the size it would actually be kind of cute I think but yeah, sticking a $2 christmas ornament on a headband and selling it for $40 is incredibly lame.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  21. YippySkippy
    November 25, 2009 at 10:40 am

    Hopefully this is just the first in a whole line of faux pets/hair accessories. I’m holding my breath for the schnauzer beret.

    Thumb up Thumb down +30

  22. WrathOfFoamy
    November 25, 2009 at 10:41 am

    I don’t think this thing ever needs to be released from the cage it’s being kept in

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  23. Bad_Wolf
    November 25, 2009 at 10:43 am

    If you ask me, it looks rather gruesome with the blood red bow and the crazed dove attaching itself to your scalp. “Crimson Bliss”? Is that the state your in after the bird taps into your cerebellum and takes control of your mind?

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  24. WrathOfFoamy
    November 25, 2009 at 10:44 am

    Some “crafters” need to realise that simply gluing a bunch of things together, giving them a silly name, and going wah-la, doesn’t make it sale worthy. Unfortunatley, there is always someone poised to buy such a monstrosity, and they just ruin this theory with their random purchaces, making the seller think: Yes, this is really fabulous, I should make more!
    Ack…

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  25. lemonicicle
    November 25, 2009 at 10:45 am

    I’m shocked this isn’t listed in her Bridal Section, maybe she thought it was too “over the top” for a wedding?

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  26. pleasedontpickme
    November 25, 2009 at 10:47 am

    sad thing is I know someone who would totally wear this. Maybe the seller can make it in all white and my friend can wear it on her wedding day? ya know being symbolic an all….

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  27. WrathOfFoamy
    November 25, 2009 at 10:51 am

    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=21784496

    perfect for a spring party, wedding or renaissance fair!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  28. Bad_Wolf
    November 25, 2009 at 10:55 am

    A lot of her other pieces are quite lovely, albeit a bit pricey. Very Roaring Twenties. Doves should be Christmas or wedding decorations though… not human decorations.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  29. Orlana
    November 25, 2009 at 10:57 am

    It’ll look like whoever is wearing it, that the bird wants their hair for a nest.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  30. WrathOfFoamy
    November 25, 2009 at 10:57 am

    ‘ya know what we need? A regretsy mobile app… that’d be tres awesome! Then all I’d need to make commuting more fun, is for people to start buying my work, so I could afford to pay the mobile web fees!

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  31. WrathOfFoamy
    November 25, 2009 at 11:00 am

    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=19652559
    red velvet covered clip with a string of clear faceted beads and a depeche mode pin – from the Jukebox collection on glampiredesign.com

    yes… quite the precious, depeche mode hair barette..

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  32. Sock Puppet
    November 25, 2009 at 11:05 am

    Like my Granny Montanny always says “Wah-lah! A bird on the head is worth two in the bush.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

  33. marn
    November 25, 2009 at 11:05 am

    at least she spelled “burgundy” correctly…seen it way, way too many times as “burgandy”.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  34. mstiefan
    November 25, 2009 at 11:11 am

    Can I get it in “California Condor”? Because this just isn’t extreme enough for me.

    Thumb up Thumb down +38

  35. Whimsicko
    November 25, 2009 at 11:19 am

    It’s quirky!

    Lots of her fascinators are surprisingly good though.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  36. jeffreyrcarey
    November 25, 2009 at 11:24 am

    This is just fowl.

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

  37. snarky
    November 25, 2009 at 11:27 am

    Brings to mind a Prince: “This is what it sounds like when doves cry” or maybe what it looks like…

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  38. jeffreyrcarey
    November 25, 2009 at 11:30 am

    Now, if it were a homing pigeon, it might be useful on nights when you’ve had one too many.

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  39. jeffreyrcarey
    November 25, 2009 at 11:35 am

    Is it made of flock?

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  40. jeffreyrcarey
    November 25, 2009 at 11:36 am

    I have no more cagey comments.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  41. le fizz
    November 25, 2009 at 11:37 am

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -7

  42. RUShittingMe
    November 25, 2009 at 11:38 am

    I’m pretty sure this was once on the front page.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  43. le fizz
    November 25, 2009 at 11:39 am
  44. jeffreyrcarey
    November 25, 2009 at 11:40 am

    …but, I do wonder if you’d have to take this off when going through airport security.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  45. i am bean
    November 25, 2009 at 11:44 am

    This is what happens when you try to eat chips on the beach in St. Ives!

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  46. bessartbuiz
    November 25, 2009 at 11:44 am

    This piece reminds me of Disney’s original Fantasia where the centaur ladies are doing their hair with the help of cherubs, flowers, ribbons, and, yes, birds.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  47. Elegant
    November 25, 2009 at 11:46 am

    It should be called ‘BIRD BRAIN’

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  48. Stiflers Mom
    November 25, 2009 at 11:48 am
  49. poppyswickedgarden
    November 25, 2009 at 11:49 am

    OOOH I would totally rock this bird out! Perhaps with my nasty drive thru pants Hee Hee Hee. You guys are no fun at all I swear!

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  50. mama0mouse
    November 25, 2009 at 11:53 am

    is it wrong that i like this? after all i regularly attend crazy tea parties. . .

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  51. sar-sar
    November 25, 2009 at 12:20 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -11

  52. Helen Killer
    November 25, 2009 at 12:25 pm

    @ #51, Just trying shit out. Don’t loose your mind.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  53. popodog
    November 25, 2009 at 12:38 pm

    “Crimson Bliss?” Seriously, that’s what I call my Aunt Flo.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  54. catniplover
    November 25, 2009 at 12:39 pm

    Honestly, this looks like the shit I’d dig out of my granny’s Christmas decorations in the 70′s. Which means, to me, it looks like it smells of 40 years of stale smoke…

    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=28224513

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  55. Elegant
    November 25, 2009 at 12:43 pm

    #@$%$..I need to wake up. I did not read the title and said the same thing. Well, great minds think alike?

    Bye, Bye Birdie!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  56. vangoghbabe
    November 25, 2009 at 12:47 pm

    I’d like a pair of dove poop earrinngs and necklace please….and a bb gun.
    Okay, F@#$ the bb gun, 270 muzzle loader..

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

  57. vangoghbabe
    November 25, 2009 at 12:49 pm
  58. vangoghbabe
    November 25, 2009 at 12:51 pm

    Vulture……w/ little black dress
    at a political event

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

  59. addiosix
    November 25, 2009 at 1:00 pm

    O Hai! L@@k at the berd on my hed lol

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  60. addiosix
    November 25, 2009 at 1:01 pm

    Srsly

    thrs a berd on my hed

    fashion is srs bizness

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  61. MadameU
    November 25, 2009 at 1:10 pm

    Awwwwww…it just needs a little blood around its beak.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  62. Helen Killer
    November 25, 2009 at 1:21 pm

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

  63. Flo Moe
    November 25, 2009 at 1:25 pm

    This will come in handy when I decide I no longer want friends.

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  64. Lexiii
    November 25, 2009 at 1:31 pm

    This reminds me of my favorite scene in Forget Paris, when Debra Winger had a bird stuck to her head.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  65. Thousandaire
    November 25, 2009 at 1:31 pm

    Warning: DO NOT WEAR AROUND DICK CHENEY.

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

  66. NinjaGato
    November 25, 2009 at 1:33 pm

    Someone should buy this and wear it to Tippi Hedren’s Christmas party.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  67. addiosix
    November 25, 2009 at 1:47 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -3

  68. addiosix
    November 25, 2009 at 1:48 pm

    stupid computer. I’m going to try that again.

    http://www.cspaworkshop.org/joomla/images/stories/the-birds.jpg

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  69. hammerhead77
    November 25, 2009 at 2:29 pm

    Good one, Ninja!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  70. frostypumpkin
    November 25, 2009 at 2:47 pm

    It’d be cool if it had scary giant claws! Then you could call it self-defense hat. Hey, btw, why can’t we rate Helen’s comments? :(

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

    • Helen Killer
      November 25, 2009 at 2:49 pm

      Frosty, I honestly don’t know why. Jeremy added the voting last night. I’ll ask him if there’s an option to let you do that.

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

  71. desida
    November 25, 2009 at 3:03 pm

    The absurdity of this aside, I do kind of like some of the seller’s other items…too bad they’re ridiculously overpriced. One of the issues I have with Etsy is that there are way too many people on there who do not seem to get that buying a $3 feather pad online, hot-gluing it to a $2 headband, and then turning around and charging $40 for it is not actually “handmaking.” Oh well.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  72. sweetbirdofparadox
    November 25, 2009 at 3:24 pm

    My dad once was attacked by a parrot because he was wearing a down coat. I shudder to think what that bird would do to someone wearing this monstrosity!

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  73. floater
    November 25, 2009 at 3:46 pm

    mmmm…maybe with another matching accessory, like say a dove ring akin to the hors-d’oeuvre ring.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  74. Monstrosa
    November 25, 2009 at 3:46 pm

    I’m totally wearing this to my cat’s birthday party.

    Helen, I like the comment rating but not the comment hiding.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  75. Helen Killer
    November 25, 2009 at 3:56 pm

    Does it hide comments? Hmm. I guess it’s like the YouTube filter, where you have to choose to look at them.

    Well, like I said, I’m just trying it out. I don’t moderate much, so this sort of lets you guys do it. If it sucks, we’ll dump it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  76. HelenaHandbasket
    November 25, 2009 at 3:58 pm

    I can envision these featured on a troupe of bridesmaids at a winter wedding. In a synchronized movement at the conclusion of the church ceremony, the ladies-in-waiting all reach up to gently untie the sheer burgundy bows, thus releasing live doves into the pews.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  77. Night Cowl
    November 25, 2009 at 4:05 pm

    HAHA! This totally reminds me of the weekend we went to the beach and my son threw a football at a seagull and it repaid him by shitting on his head.

    And yes, we called him shithead all weekend.

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  78. sillymerricat
    November 25, 2009 at 4:25 pm

    Can we get a “View on a Bjork?”

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  79. regretmenot
    November 25, 2009 at 4:54 pm

    Bjork would totally rock this out with that dying swan dress…does she still own that thing?

    A view on Bjork would be awesome.

    For some reason I keep thinking pecker head.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  80. The Blue Kraken
    November 25, 2009 at 8:59 pm

    BWHAHAHA Helen the statue with the bird rocks. perfect paired with this monstrosity.. Oh the shame!

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  81. artistamuerta
    November 25, 2009 at 9:19 pm

    baha “view on a Bjork” made me pee my pants. I would like this better if the bird was wearing sunglasses with fringe.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  82. sbarnes2
    November 25, 2009 at 10:03 pm

    Whimsicle fuckery indeed. Perfect for the pigeon lady from Home Alone 2.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  83. snarkeygirl
    November 26, 2009 at 12:28 am

    When I went to beauty school, one of the students dressed as Tippi Hedren’s character from “The Birds”. Her costume was awesome, from the bloodstains and ripped hose to the vintage two piece outfit, to the mangled hairdo with birds and bloodstains. This is what I am reminded of, only not done well at all. Oh, and Glampire? Is that a glamorous vampire? Hee hee!

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  84. cptfknvicious
    November 26, 2009 at 12:56 am

    shit! there’s a bird fucking your head! no, wait, that’s just your headband.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  85. cptfknvicious
    November 26, 2009 at 12:59 am

    #77 i used to be a wedding photographer, and i would have LOVED to see a bunch of bridesmaids wearing that. especially if the birds were alive and flapping and screaming and shitting the whole damn time i was taking pictures.

    release the birds! ceremony will be followed by a presentation of alfred hitchcock’s “the birds” and a roast game pigeon dinner.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  86. Monstrosa
    November 26, 2009 at 2:55 am

    #84 snarkeygirl
    “Glampire.” I know, right?
    Glampires: That was my idea for a TV show about vampires, set in a 70s nightclub and starring Noel Fielding and the ghost of Marc Bolan. I feel totally ripped off.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  87. dangerousmezzo
    November 26, 2009 at 4:28 am

    #87 — brilliant idea for a series, especially casting Noel Fielding :) He certainly knows how to dress for it …

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  88. howudoing
    November 26, 2009 at 6:50 am

    Sarah Jessica Parker will be wearing it in the next Sex and the City movie.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  89. UFP
    November 26, 2009 at 3:49 pm

    this one is 35 bucks!!
    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=21193402

    PS any thread that mentions Bjork and Noel Fielding is where I want to be. :D

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  90. AndyMathis
    November 26, 2009 at 7:53 pm

    Memory Flashback-

    I was spurred by a rooster at Grandma’s house in the butterbean patch. I was 5. Had a bloody chicken paw print on my elbow.

    My aunt shot the rooster with her pistol.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  91. priceless
    November 26, 2009 at 10:33 pm

    91 comments and NOT ONE has trashed the styrofoam model? Really I am surprised at ALL of you and more than a little disappointed! If this model were some dreadlock-wearing, pre-shrunk clothes wearing, punk-sta wannabe with an overly sized head and an inclination not to shave you kids would be all over it! ;)

    And HK I know I am not one of your “preferred commenters” to read/respond to but in case you do read this I like the rating sys. Much easier to give kudos to the funny comments w/o…

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  92. priceless
    November 26, 2009 at 10:35 pm

    having to quote them or write “@ #x” which is annoying to keep scrolling up and down to see what people were referring to. So I’ll pretend you care about my feedback and say, keep it. (:

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  93. Helen Killer
    November 26, 2009 at 10:38 pm

    Anyone who likes something I do is automatically one of my “preferred commenters”.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  94. priceless
    November 26, 2009 at 10:41 pm

    well you certainly are in the the Thanksgiving spirit lol. Hope turkey was yummy. Wish I was stuffed on turkey and taking the day off to contemplate whimsiclizing my vagina. Have a nice long weekend :)

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  95. snarkeygirl
    November 27, 2009 at 12:02 am

    mmmm, Noel Fielding! Maybe it is not “Glamorous Vampires”, but rather, “Glam Vampires”, and that would be great as a tv show! Yes, indeed, I like it, ‘specially with ‘the ghost of Marc Bolan’.! Good times, good times indeed! Much more entertaining than this headband, which I think is a bird-brained idea!

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  96. krudd
    November 27, 2009 at 11:44 am

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -4

  97. Recovering Crack Baby
    November 27, 2009 at 9:39 pm

    Christmas, Christmas time is here. Time for some Joy and Cheer.
    This is PRICELESS when I think of all those Holiday School Concerts I attend for my Children. I get Goose Bumps, or in this case perhaps dove bumps?!? Just picturing myself, seated, out with the crowd of parents and peers, waiting to wave and let everyone know they are mine with Big Bird on my head. Oh….. the fun.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  98. Recovering Crack Baby
    November 28, 2009 at 9:33 am

    If I were to set my Big Bird in front of you at the Theatre what kind of comments do you think I would be subjected to…. or would I just clear out the place?? The suspense makes me want to purchase this, so many uses…so many uses.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  99. PussDaddy
    November 30, 2009 at 9:48 am

    I am tired of birds on heads. When are they going to make bird shit on heads? I have had more birds shit on my head than land on it, how about you?

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  100. razberries
    November 30, 2009 at 10:12 pm

    there’s a reason that Prince sang, “When Doves Cry”…

    this hat also makes me think of a traumatizing childhood moment- i was eating a nestle crunch icecream bar while outside waiting for my mom to exit a store, and proceeded to take another bite when my sister screamed, “No! A bird just pooped on your icecream!” And then I quickly spat it out and cried all the way home…bird shit looks an awful lot like melted nestle crunch icecream…don’t remember but it sure doesn’t taste like it

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  101. JustJon
    December 1, 2009 at 4:03 am

    “Look, don’t feel bad. It was a ‘bird glued to your head’ kind of day.”

    Wish I could remember the whole quote, and what damn movie it was from. Billy Crystal was in it, that’s all I remember.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  102. Crazy Nurse
    December 4, 2009 at 9:43 am

    perfect if you want to look like the bus driver in South Park!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  103. GlampireDesign
    December 14, 2009 at 11:02 pm

    Okay, okay…maybe I should take life a little more seriously :) I really do love the comments you all have left (especially #10…the answer is yes) – and I sincerely wish I had thought of the name Bird Brain because I totally would have used it. At any rate, I love Regretsy and have been hoping to get in – I knew if anything would do it it would be one of the bird accessories! You guys will love this one….have at it!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  104. unseeliepixie
    October 9, 2010 at 8:43 pm

    This should have been listed as ‘Tippi Headdress…’ The sad thing is that I can think of several steampunk people who would wear this in a mechanical heartbeat.

    And referring to a line in “Liar, Liar:”
    “Do you like my headband?”
    “Anything that takes the focus away from your hair!”

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

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