104

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell

ARMY. BE ALL YOU CAN BEDAZZLE.

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104 comments on Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell

  1. Dynomoose
    November 24, 2009 at 4:27 pm

    oh good lord

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  2. Dynomoose
    November 24, 2009 at 4:27 pm

    $500 at that!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  3. HermesGoddess
    November 24, 2009 at 4:28 pm

    Fucking hell. I just swallowed a tootsie roll while laughing at this.
    And honestly that really happened. It’s not my fault it’s a hilarious pun.

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  4. personalearthquake
    November 24, 2009 at 4:28 pm

    I’ll take TWO!

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  5. HermesGoddess
    November 24, 2009 at 4:29 pm
  6. Vmp
    November 24, 2009 at 4:30 pm

    what’s with the black mustache over the pocket?????

    wow.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  7. Jillian
    November 24, 2009 at 4:30 pm

    For your favorite Wealthy Gay Geriatric Soldier!

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  8. Calophi
    November 24, 2009 at 4:31 pm

    #5: I am not sure I want to know how women’s breast health inspired that one… o.O

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  9. personalearthquake
    November 24, 2009 at 4:31 pm

    what’s up with ANY OF IT? including the older guy WEARING IT?

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  10. XvMoonChildvX
    November 24, 2009 at 4:32 pm

    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=24153934 The 12 year old pervy kid in me has to laugh at the “SHAVED BEAVER” inclusion. : smirky snort :

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  11. ilhu
    November 24, 2009 at 4:33 pm

    at first i thought there was a lace kalashnikov applique on the back which would have made this a work of GENIUS but instead its a piece of garbage. fie.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  12. desida
    November 24, 2009 at 4:34 pm

    FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS for an Army jacket they probably found cheap at Goodwill or maybe a surplus store, with a bunch of tacky crap hastily slapped on. Every time my faith in the human race starts to bounce back a little, this site smacks it right back down.

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  13. Fae
    November 24, 2009 at 4:35 pm

    Nothing says “support the US army” like dingle balls hanging from the back collar.

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  14. mom27209
    November 24, 2009 at 4:38 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -3

  15. ceyoungquist
    November 24, 2009 at 4:40 pm

    That is by FAR the fugliest jacket to ever exist.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  16. IndyJules
    November 24, 2009 at 4:41 pm

    What “cracker jack” really wore to his modeling gig!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  17. Dynomoose
    November 24, 2009 at 4:41 pm

    Some of her stuff is nice. Then she kicks out this jacket and the beaver case. WTF?

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  18. Stingray Charles
    November 24, 2009 at 4:44 pm

    If you wear this, you’ll definitely be an “Army of One.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +34

  19. edenartist
    November 24, 2009 at 4:45 pm

    How the hell could you pick this over the “beaver case” by the same seller?

    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=24153934

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  20. martini
    November 24, 2009 at 4:46 pm

    Looks like regretsy bait to me…

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  21. GoldenGlow
    November 24, 2009 at 4:52 pm

    You won’t have to ask, you can just tell.

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

  22. martini
    November 24, 2009 at 4:52 pm

    And is that a butt necklace in his left hand?

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  23. TooFewShoes
    November 24, 2009 at 4:53 pm

    This is hideous on so many levels.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  24. HostessVo
    November 24, 2009 at 4:53 pm

    Wait! Am I the only one who is confused by the quote? What type of economy does this jacket/shirt imply? It’s over done, so it’s not in the sense of being sparse and it’s 500$ which is not in any way economical.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  25. judyb
    November 24, 2009 at 4:56 pm

    It’s $500 because it is a signed work of art. Really, when you bring art into the equation, doesn’t economy go out the window?

    Right.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  26. artistamuerta
    November 24, 2009 at 4:57 pm

    holy shit. this is an abomination. this is all that is wrong with etsy. The upscale idea is good, but the $500 price tag on this bedazzled turd is an insult to handcrafters everywhere.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  27. drunkenatheist
    November 24, 2009 at 4:57 pm

    Man, oh man, if I sent this to my (very gay) friend in boot camp, the military wouldn’t /need/ to ask.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  28. ohsoretro
    November 24, 2009 at 5:05 pm

    Altering an Army Jacket in this way should be a criminal act. Wearing it should be punishable by death.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  29. Lexiii
    November 24, 2009 at 5:06 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -31

  30. Patty
    November 24, 2009 at 5:07 pm

    As the daughter of a career soldier who was active duty back when this type of uniform was used- that is NOT a jacket, that is an Army shirt.

    That said…

    WTF!?

    This isn’t any kind of way to “support” or honor soldiers. Its more like a “sequenced” slap upside the head.

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  31. Kimmer-G
    November 24, 2009 at 5:09 pm

    #12 Fae – I’m gonna be laughing all night over that one. Brilliant!!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  32. Valerie
    November 24, 2009 at 5:10 pm

    Oh dear. I could see this being done well, but I think this seller was just clearing out whatever bits and bobs she had left in her stash! :/

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  33. silentmouth
    November 24, 2009 at 5:14 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -11

  34. ourephemera
    November 24, 2009 at 5:15 pm

    I wish this piece was about how women should be treated equal in the army. lols.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  35. ourephemera
    November 24, 2009 at 5:16 pm

    I just noted the yellow fringe pom pom ball trim. Oh man, oh man.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  36. whyohwhy
    November 24, 2009 at 5:16 pm

    A think even a 10 year old would have crafted it better and with more style. Every thing about it is says crafty crazy.

    And what’s with the Support Our Troops? Is some of the $500 going to the troops? Is it for a disabled veteran? It would be nice to know why she wants $500. WTF?

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  37. bitzidee
    November 24, 2009 at 5:17 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -9

  38. whyohwhy
    November 24, 2009 at 5:21 pm

    OMG. I think I’ve contracted “regretsitis” spelling and grammar disease.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  39. NinjaGato
    November 24, 2009 at 5:25 pm

    I would like to see Colin Powell in this ensemble.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  40. YippySkippy
    November 24, 2009 at 5:26 pm

    I have a feeling that guy has been chased down the street late at night wearing nothing but this jacket and a pair of white tube socks.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  41. sawdustbear
    November 24, 2009 at 5:31 pm

    this HAS to be regretsy bait!

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  42. Efit
    November 24, 2009 at 5:32 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -18

  43. Efit
    November 24, 2009 at 5:32 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -7

  44. jwheeler
    November 24, 2009 at 5:34 pm

    HostessVo – I’m with you! What exactly does this shirt have to do with “economy” at $500. But then again, there I go trying to apply logic to an item like this.

    My brain just atrophied, I think I might loose my mind.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  45. biggles5
    November 24, 2009 at 5:47 pm

    Oh please no…not ball fringe…

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  46. NinjaGato
    November 24, 2009 at 5:50 pm

    My ex-marine grandfather just did a “say what???” from beyond the grave.

    Thumb up Thumb down +33

  47. jeffreyrcarey
    November 24, 2009 at 5:52 pm

    If this is intended for a man to wear in public, I don’t think he would return home without a broken bone or two.

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

  48. regretmenot
    November 24, 2009 at 5:57 pm

    $500 dollars? Get the zark over here and explain yourself.

    Better yet, don’t. I don’t want to know what in blue blazes was going through the seller’s mind when they thought…yeah..little more lace and…$500 smackers sounds like a good price.

    If anyone wore that….God..please….my brain fell out.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  49. jeffreyrcarey
    November 24, 2009 at 6:01 pm

    If army guards forced the enemy to wear this during confinement, they’d be charged with extreme prisoner abuse.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  50. mama0mouse
    November 24, 2009 at 6:03 pm

    it reminds me of when you don’t use a dryer sheet and all kinds of things stick to your clothes….imagine if you did that with whatever the hell is in the barney bag…you would get this. . .

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  51. rodgertheshrubber
    November 24, 2009 at 6:07 pm

    What is painted on the back????

    http://ny-image0.etsy.com//il_fullxfull.38861320.jpg

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  52. rodgertheshrubber
    November 24, 2009 at 6:08 pm

    Or I guess sewn on the back?

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

  53. rodgertheshrubber
    November 24, 2009 at 6:11 pm

    In the listing the artist keeps saying these are things she “rescued” ……only to sew them one to this?? Cruelty.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  54. The Blue Kraken
    November 24, 2009 at 6:12 pm

    Oh god someone ought to put this poor solder out of his misery. What a disgrace to the uniform. UGH!

    Most of all it looked like the cat ate their sequins and vomited all down the back of his shirt. I hope the dry cleaners can get that big ugly blue stain off.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  55. rodgertheshrubber
    November 24, 2009 at 6:14 pm

    I’m confused and scared.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  56. blackcat
    November 24, 2009 at 6:28 pm

    Once again, a total steal at $499! So economical.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  57. martini
    November 24, 2009 at 6:34 pm

    #40 jeffreyrcarey : Yeah… that gives a whole new meaning to the term “boot camp”…

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  58. floater
    November 24, 2009 at 6:41 pm

    That’s sad…if her profile is for real….then I can understand how $500 may have seemed a fair price, perhaps someone cashed up and sympathetic will buy it.
    If it’s bullshit it’s pathetic, but if anyone seriously thinks that this piece has $500 worth of creative merit then that’s just fucked up and tragic!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  59. NinjaGato
    November 24, 2009 at 7:19 pm

    only 10% goes toward the care of her sick kid? That means only $50 bucks (out of a whole $500) goes to the kid she’s using as her “sob story.” What kind of care does she expect to get for $50?

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  60. WTFisthatanyway
    November 24, 2009 at 7:22 pm

    That’s just fucking treason! Call Washington. Now!

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  61. NinjaGato
    November 24, 2009 at 7:24 pm

    I’m just impressed that the kid gets any.

    Thumb up Thumb down -2

  62. michelleames
    November 24, 2009 at 7:25 pm

    Look, I can be as compassionate as they come…and I, too, am a Reiki practitioner. That said, having a sick child still isn’t license to inflict this “art” on the world.

    Praying for her son – and her art – to get better.

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  63. Frankenkitty
    November 24, 2009 at 7:29 pm

    If you don’t buy this jacket, the terrorists win.

    Thumb up Thumb down +28

  64. NinjaGato
    November 24, 2009 at 7:41 pm

    You’re either with us or against us Frankenkitty.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  65. NinjaGato
    November 24, 2009 at 7:41 pm

    Thats a very compassionate thing to say michelleames.
    you’re certainly a nicer person than I.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  66. everydaymama1
    November 24, 2009 at 7:42 pm

    So this is a jacket for the naked assed sailor featured a while back right? Oh lord! I am glad I’m in Canada ;P

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  67. NinjaGato
    November 24, 2009 at 7:46 pm

    Dingleballs, ok.
    Granny Square neckline, fine.
    Blue fir trim, whatever.
    She lost me with the backpiece that looks like a sparkly cum stain. Which begs the question, was the wearer in the middle of a gang bang at David Bowie’s house, with Adam Lambert, Edward Cullen, and Perez Hilton?

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  68. Monstrosa
    November 24, 2009 at 7:49 pm

    At first glance I thought the shape on the back was trying to be Florida, but no.
    Is it the torn and tattered flag of Butterflyland?

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  69. vangoghbabe
    November 24, 2009 at 8:00 pm

    If you love it set it free…if it doesn’t come back…it’s AWOL

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  70. akiddo
    November 24, 2009 at 8:06 pm

    i guess i’m confused about the word “upcycled”…i would think it means to take something used and reinvent it into something people would want to use again…..but apparently it means to take perfectly good used stuff and throw crap all over it….go figure…..

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  71. Helen Killer
    November 24, 2009 at 8:10 pm

    @ #60, THANK YOU for reminding me! I love that one!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  72. txesg
    November 24, 2009 at 8:30 pm

    Hey, are those Starlight Mints? Could be used as emergency rations while you await court-martial for wearing this atrocity.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  73. Thousandaire
    November 24, 2009 at 9:02 pm

    Tell you what. I’ll sell you one of my current-issue digital camouflage tops (that doesn’t have shit all over it) for $40 bucks, and you can donate the remaining $459.99 to your local shelter for Homeless Veterans.

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  74. ourephemera
    November 24, 2009 at 9:49 pm

    Maybe the funniest part is that she signed it on the sleeve.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  75. kristinamyerscrafts
    November 24, 2009 at 9:52 pm

    I showed this to my son… “Mom who would do that to an Army jacket! It’s a little crazy… OK a LOT crazy!” LOL

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  76. Bad_Wolf
    November 24, 2009 at 10:01 pm

    Did she bribe her poor husband to model this? Oh, to be a fly on the wall during this photo shoot!

    “Ok, now turn around, honey! I want to be sure to showcase the expert stitching and all the groovy glitter!”

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  77. snarkeygirl
    November 25, 2009 at 2:08 am

    And how is this in “mint condition”? http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=24153934 It is covered in stuck on beaver shavings! Bleh.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  78. lucyv
    November 25, 2009 at 2:15 am

    Don’t ask, don’t tell, don’t wear.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  79. jukaswo
    November 25, 2009 at 5:44 am

    WTF is that patch in the middle of the back? And WTF is on it? Ugh.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  80. barnbabe13
    November 25, 2009 at 6:03 am

    It looks like someone spilled glue on this shirt before walking through a joann fabrics.

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  81. Dumbo
    November 25, 2009 at 7:07 am

    Is this for a man or a woman?

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

  82. HelenaHandbasket
    November 25, 2009 at 7:35 am

    Much moreso than “economical”, this cries out Whimsicle! The jacket may be obscene, but the quotation motto makes my head hurt.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  83. Sammy the Goose
    November 25, 2009 at 8:08 am

    #64 Frankenkitty – Unfortunately, that jacket makes me think that they have won.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  84. Dix
    November 25, 2009 at 8:15 am

    We used to paint T-shirts for ourselves (way back in the Eighties, when painting T-shirts was *almost* cool) and, even though we were twelve-or-younger, we never produced anything this bad. Embarrassing.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  85. Stingray Charles
    November 25, 2009 at 8:35 am

    I’m Sargent Rick James, Bitch!

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  86. Night Cowl
    November 25, 2009 at 8:54 am

    Rick James wouldn’t be caught dead wearing this.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  87. Tabbie
    November 25, 2009 at 8:59 am

    Is that a torn up sleeve hot glued onto the back of that “thing”?

    What a disgrace!

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

  88. goblin
    November 25, 2009 at 10:47 am

    OK, I’m pretty much a liberal pinko — but even I’ll call that disrespectful to our men and women in uniform!

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  89. i am bean
    November 25, 2009 at 11:56 am

    $500.00? I’m just wondering…is the religious/military dogma free with purchase or do I pay extra for that?

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  90. sar-sar
    November 25, 2009 at 12:23 pm

    This item has 2344 views and 4 hearts… who the blue hell hearted this? Of course, the fact that one of those hearter’s is named bottlesofcoughsyrup http://www.etsy.com/profile.php?user_id=5781725 provides me with great comfort.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  91. benconservato
    November 25, 2009 at 2:02 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -3

  92. frostypumpkin
    November 25, 2009 at 3:14 pm

    @ 51 it looks like there’s a half of a glittery ragged tank top with a deformed black butterfly on the back. Made for Regretsy, I’m sure. And why is everyone making “don’t ask don’t tell” jokes? None of the gay men I know would ever ever wear this, except maybe for Halloween!

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  93. regretmenot
    November 25, 2009 at 4:41 pm

    “Man…I feel like a woman”

    “Dude looks like a lady”

    Thumb up Thumb down -2

  94. VoteAudrey
    November 25, 2009 at 11:27 pm

    $499 for a used shirt/craft project is economical?

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  95. MyEyesMyEyes
    November 26, 2009 at 7:28 pm

    Hmmm… my husband has some old BDU’s that he can’t wear anymore. Hmmm…

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  96. comma_splicer
    November 27, 2009 at 1:06 pm

    Gotta agree with #94 — no one I know, gay, straight, bi, or Cylon would let this monstrosity within miles of their wardrobe.

    What might horrify me the most is the amount of time she spent putting this thing together — which, if she thought it made sense to ask $500, must have been substantial — that she could have spent with her kid. :(

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  97. frostypumpkin
    November 28, 2009 at 10:59 am

    Where did my comment go? Oh well, I was saying that her 4 year old kid must’ve made it. It makes more sense that way. However the $500 price tag still doesn’t make sense…

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  98. itlives
    December 3, 2009 at 1:45 am

    What. The. Holy. Fuck. ???

    Although I’m digging the merkin over the name tag thing, though. No soldier should ever have his/her name disgraced by being associated with such a piece of… I can’t even think of a word that does it justice.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  99. Kludge
    December 4, 2009 at 12:52 pm

    It’s not just a job… it’s a super gay adventure! Yay!

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

  100. CrimsonHoohah
    December 14, 2009 at 1:55 pm

    The person who did that to a uniform should be put in front of a firing squad.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  101. Elia
    May 14, 2011 at 6:24 am

    US ARMY.. what a Shame!..

    Man, they should lock you for life in jail for this stupid army shirt.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

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