Poo Poo Platter

are there curlers on there? omg

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and floss picks. OY

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do any of those items detach from the platter? can they be used? even if they were detachable, though, this would still be some junk drawer dumped out onto some sticky surface

this boggles my mind.

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holy crap, upon closer inspection it appears as though all of these items have been shellacked..making them NOT detachable or usable…what the fuck. I’m angry.

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Do you think she used the razors on those balls before gluing them down? Then I might see how she chose the name “DIVA” for this…

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Verisimilitude
Furthermore, I don’t even see how it relates to the definition of that word. If someone would explain that to me, that would be great.

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Looks like somebody raided the dollar store for art supplies. At least there’s no tampons in there.

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oh yeah. All the stuff looks used!

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Somebody learned a new word today! The word, not the definition.

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yeah….WHAT!? I’d like to also know what the hell connection that word has to the ‘mirror’

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There’s another problem with this platter. It says it’s a large mirror, but actually it’s a small mirror surrounded by a large amount of crap.

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Looks like she dropped a bunch of her shit on top of one of those containers that markers come in (like from Costco). $110?!? Whatever he/she is smoking, I want some to get this weekend started.

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After looking in her shop, though, the pen & crayon one would be pretty awesome for my studio- if it were a clock instead of a mirror, and i thought it wasn’t something i could hot-glue together myself.

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=33161252

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Is this the top view of the hat from the tapeworm twins painting?

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Calophi: you hit the nail. I couldn’t care less what surrounds a mirror, all I ever see is myself; but this one’s too damn small.

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oh, but you MUST appreciate this ‘intricately beaded frame’ it appears to have a built in materials list.

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=33178057

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Stingray: you cut! I guess I was wrong, we CAN’T all agree that hat was FABU.

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Another thought – there are an awful lot of razors in this piece. How do those constitute “found objects”? You don’t just FIND that kind of thing. Unless by find, you mean “bought and used”. Ewwwwww.

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This is what happens when you hit the Dollar Tree on mushrooms.

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Wow.
It looks like the bedroom floor of my best friend when I was in school.

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#6, I agree with you and I don’t understand how this in any way represents “the quality of being real”/ or “like the truth”. And what do the circles denote in this whole proposed quality of verisimilitude? I don’t get it. I think “truthiness” would be more accurate if we are looking for analogy: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Truthiness

But, personally, I think the following is a more apt description: (yes!) craptastic!

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thank god for the close-ups, because now i can see that the dark, cylindrical things next to the razors are rollers – for a second i thought they were old tampon tubes!!

also, this thing has toothbrushes! are they used too? b/c i think that’s almost worse than used razors….

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PixenKristen: her false theory that this is a large mirror is close to the truth than her false theory she has a shred of talent?

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how has no one mentioned the creepy ass dolls?!

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Kamikaze: Oh, I still think it’s fabu.

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I don’t think she found any of this stuff. I think she got most of it at the dollar store.

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Phew Stingray.

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PixenKristen – unless you think the quality of truth can be found in the toiletries section of the local Walmart, then, yeah, that SAT vocabulary word totally doesn’t belong in the description of this whimsicle collage of junk that she found in the guest bathroom.

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It looks as though I could catch something from it. I hope it comes with antimicrobial soap.

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And what’s with the “girly” tag, I could easily replicate this with garbage I got laying arou……nevermind.

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Kamikaze: I am more confused about the “cincinnati” tag than the “girly” tag.

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The name should be changed to “shit I found lying around and my glue gun was hot already so I decided to slap together this pile of shit” mirror. If someone buys this, they need to have their head examined

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When I first saw it, I thought it was going to be a commentary (albeit a bit underdeveloped one) on our society’s obsession with hygiene and beauty and how that feeds into a disposable culture in which we’re constantly throwing out all the cheap plastic crap that we use to primp and preen. That would be kind of a cool thing to do.

But “verisimilitude”?? Whah?

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It’s sellers like this that make me say, “I could do this…” and consider setting up an Etsy account to get people to buy my trash.

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Calophi: I’m not.

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Helen: apropos of nothing, try a handful of chocolate covered raisins mixed in with your popcorn. Delicious! But I repeat myself.

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hmm this scream tetanus shot to me… used razors,what looks like sucked on candy. and tooth picks, did she raid the dumpster??/

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No menstrual cups or tampons or the like? Well, there’s one plus! Just the one, though. The piece as a whole looks like the ~*~aRtIsT~*~ upended the rubbish bin from a girls’ dorm and poured a little sealer on the pile. No points for ‘verisimilitude’.

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Are those tampon tubes used between the razors as spacers??? hope she spraysit with lysol before she ships it

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Someone needs to take seller’s glue gun away…and that clear shit she liberally drenches it all with. Pretty sure some of the “found objects” were found at Oriental Trading Company, iParty, or both. I collect ducks and know cheap places to get the small not-quite-rubber ducks…
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=33666552
(yeah, I’ve seen all these guys)

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Calophi:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=24479099&ref=sr_list_21&&ga_search_query=cincinnati&ga_search_type=all&ga_page=10&includes=tags

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DucksNew, please get an etsy account and sell shit like this. PLEASE.

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Apparently a whole family is involved in making these monstrosities…their profile page is worth a laugh:
“Hopefully, each viewer will appreciate a glimpse into our hearts and home, and capture the inner need planted within each person by the Creator to create.”

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it’s a personal hygiene wheel of truthlikeness…what’s with the pixie children sitting coyly amongst the bic razors?

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#32 DucksNew, I now know what I’m doing this weekend. Thank you. lol

And I’ll dedicate it to you, too.

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I think I see some pubes stuck in there.

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Orlana, put “whimsicle” and “fuckery” in the tags (or “f**kery”)…

I just went over to OTC’s site and saw several things I have also seen used in items on Regretsy within a couple of minutes looking.

Kamikaze, that’s frightening. Why would someone need a fake penis in an apron?

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http://www.etsy.com/shop/leapinchubb
Did this person have an abundance of fake dicks laying around? Holy shit lol

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DucksNew: a fake one? I have no idea. But it is tagged “Cincinnati”.

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DucksNew: Doesn’t everybody? I’m pretty sure it’s a requirement to have either an abundance of dicks or an abundance of vaginas to get an etsy account these days.

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#50 thisiswhyihatepeople, honestly, I’ve thought about making vag and peen related stuff for my shop simply because it sells. That’s probably why a lot of people do it. But some take it WAY WAY too far. As Helen has so lovingly shown us.

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the only thing I can say is “no no no no no no no no no” in the voice of Spongebob when he gets a star taken away for being bad at Miss Puff’s boating school.

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I spend half my time cleaning clutter like this out of my master bath…why on earth would I PAY to add germs and junk to that chaos? Insanity, pure and simple. If it sells, maybe I’ll have some incentive to declutter again, glue gun in hand.

Love #33 domesticnature’s take, though.

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Verisimilitude: the appearance or semblance of truth; likelihood; probability

Truth #1: This appears to be shit.
Truth #2: There is a likelihood that anyone who buys it is an idiot.
Truth #3: There is a distinct probability that the “artist” is off her rocker.

See, verisimilitude works!

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I think the ginger kids with the neon bodies at the 12, 3, 6, and 9 positions really bring the peice together for me.

@ #7 moontreestudios: I agree! Though I am really surprised that there aren’t any….and a little diappointed….just a little.

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Oh, exactly what I have been looking for!! A display of garbage for my wall. WOW!

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Can I break the razors off and kill myself after buying it?

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Oh please no beqi!

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OMG Ducksnews – I can’t believe “leapinchubb” would put her face on her profile. Talk about someone who is cock-eyed.

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I considered buying this, but I need a little bigger mirror to make sure my bald eagle hat is on straight.

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Verisimilitude: likeness to truth.
Large mirror? No- Small mirror and large hideous pile of “stuff”.

Oh fuckery, I’m starting to understand the “artist”, kill me now…

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I wonder if the seller is a ‘Twilight’ fan?

p
x

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She’s got a whole “circles of verisimilitude” section!

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Of course she “found” all of this stuff. The mirror is from a compact she found in the trashcan, and after that, she kept digging and found those great flossers. “Hmm, what other shit can I find around my house and trashcan to glue to a shitty old platter I FOUND in my attic?”…”rollers, CHECK, razors, CHECK, old tubes of lipstick, CHECK, smushed flowers I found under a box…nah, that’s going to far….OH WHAT THE HELL…CHECK!!!”

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The used disposable razors kind of turn my stomach.

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http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=33178379

Who knew we all should have saved those ugly beads from when we were kids.
Hmpf.

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i always wondered where my sister went…
she once sent me a used coin purse containing an ancient garlic clove & an elastic with hair on it as a gift…

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#41 Kamikaze:

….o.O well, at least it’s Cincinnati Bengals and that’s why it’s tagged with “Cincinnati”….

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This piece needs a little more orange, how about adding some used q-tips?

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Sweet, since there are bouncy balls craftily applied…I can drop it and it won’t break…meaning I save 7 years of bad luck!!

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My luck it will bounce right back at me and break my nose….:(

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Tampons. It needs tampons. Then it would totally be worth $110.

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And I’m betting the razors are used. Biohazard, anyone?

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I think I see Flossers on the outside of the platter.

I’m beginning to think I went into the wrong line of work. $110 for a pile of trash???

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This one would actually be kinda cute for a kids room, but I definitely wouldn’t pay $100 for it
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=33707950

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#69 VGB: No worries, just check your nose in the mirror, if it’s bleeding, pull off one of the spongy yellow hair rollers and stuff it up your nose. Wah-lah, problem solved.

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I’m strangely compelled by this mirror and the seller’s whole shop. If I had a ridiculous amount of money to spend, I’d buy all the mirrors and create a “Wall of Verisimilitude.” And then never leave the house.

Helen, you MUST add a “View this in a Room” for this one!

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Looks like someone covered a plate in hot glue and smashed a pinata over it and the rest is whimsicle history.

I love your graphs!

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That is clearly nothing more than a fat lot of (yes!) unhygienic garbage. And ugly to boot.

However…clearly something is apparently deeply wrong with me because, God help me, I actually like this one for a kids room or playroom: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=33667704

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@stingray
You are mazing!

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Well she is recycling. If she keeps at it, all the trash will be gone from the landfills. Unfortunately it will be on peoples walls instead.

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This says “large mirror” and it isn’t. I mean, I might consider buying if it was a bigger mirror…

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Pretty sure the $110 price tag is because she dropped $108 at the dollar store to buy the sheer amount of stuff she needed to make this.

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This reminds me of the crazy guy that lives here. He drives a pickup truck literally COVERED in teddy bears chained to his truck. And I mean BLANKETED. They’re black from old age and you can smell him a mile away. Don’t know what color his truck is.

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Yay. Razors. Not only do you get the most awesomest mirror eva, you can also get tetanus! What a steal!

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Her banner says it all. If you look to the little drawing on the left, it originally said crack house. All she did was cross out the ck and write ft above it. I am thinking the original spelling is still the case.

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#80 VGB: So are you, Ms. Mojo Rising.

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Granted, some of the items on the site are “ok” and maybe even buy-able, but the price tags on this stuff is ridiculous.

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The crayon one wouldn’t be too bad if she had used NEW crayons and not the crap she found at the bottom of the toy box.

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When hoarders take to crafting. Film at 11!

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@Stingray
Uncanny that you should bring the Mojo up…been pondering the purchase of the blown glass penis…..

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#91 VGB: Wow! I’ve been considering snatching up that needle felted vadge necklace! Interesting…

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I wonder if the hair on the dolls heads is made up of leg hairs pulled out of the used disposable razors? At least I *hope* it’s leg hair…

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Oh, wait, I get it – it’s not “DIVA” mirror, it’s “DNA” mirror.

Now it makes perfect sense…

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The only things missing are used tampon applicators…

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I definitely see at least one tooth brush…

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are those different colored lady bics?

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I just learned a new word today.

Wish I hadn’t.

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This “DIVA” platter is a “DNA” platter with all the hair and saliva on those razors, floss picks, hair curlers and tubes of lipstick. Can u just picture the home of the person who made this POS – I’m just hoping there isn’t another platter being made of used q-tips, tampons and cosmetic puffs.

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You know, I have a whole bag full of old cosmetics and razors etc… Now I know what to do with it all, but on mine I am going to add glitter and a fuzzy vag! WHIMSICLE!!

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verisimilitude? what the hell does that mean?

My eyes and my brain have just exploded!

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However…I do think this would look much better if she had put sequences on it.

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ver·i·si·mil·i·tude [ vèrrə si míllə td ] (plural ver·i·si·mil·i·tudes)

noun

Definition:

1. appearance of being true: the appearance of being true or real

2. something that only seems true: something that only appears to be true or real, e.g. a statement that is not supported by evidence

Yeah…okay…i get it

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I think she’s a stuttererer
she said inches twice

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I am Bean: Here you go

ver⋅i⋅si⋅mil⋅i⋅tude /ˌvɛrəsɪˈmɪlɪˌtud, -ˌtyud
Pronunciation [ver-uh-si-mil-i-tood, -tyood]
–noun
1. the appearance or semblance of truth; likelihood; probability: The play lacked verisimilitude.
2. something, as an assertion, having merely the appearance of truth.

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thanks guys…now I understyood it better!

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#105 yeah, that I get ….

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you know, disposable razors are disposable for a REASON! this is as gross as that guy with the hairy butt shield.

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#108
Really, would you rather see that WITHOUT the ass shield??

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I have no idea what this is but its hurting my eyes

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can someone tell me how to get an avatar????

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sweet I had to ask too!!
http://en.gravatar.com/

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i need an avatar too…but unfortunately i am an avatard…how do i do it?

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#106 & 107: Hey I never said it was understandable ;P

Me thinks someone is writing her stuff with big words to seem more edumecated… LOL!!

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i am bean

http://en.gravatar.com/

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#112….thank you

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“What’s the word of the day Regretsy kids??”
verisimilitude
that’s right!!!
Now pick a prize from Aunty Helen’s rize box…
Yes, there’s enough vaginas to go around….don’t fight over them

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and Kamikaze…

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okay >prize< new laptop has freaky keys..not applying enough pressure

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Kamikaze, thanks for your avatar assistance this week, have you a whimsicle weekend.

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my husband just looked at this…he said: “it looks like a pavement pancake”

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STINGRAY! You know I’m merely flirting with the rest….and your most welcome. Have a wonderful weekend too trendsetter.

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er, you’re, so much for book smarts

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vangoghbabe your right.. i wouldn’t want that guys ass to be without the shield. what would he cover his “exit only” with?

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This one actually makes me feel angry.

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So, is this supposed to do double duty as a mirror and a platter?

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And if it is a platter, what type of food would you suggest I serve on it?

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#127, I’d serve meat laden with e-coli!

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This is what you get for the hoarder in your life

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I love “I am bean” ’s husband… he always has the best comments.

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@108 TheBlueKraken – Damn you Kraken!! I was starting on the road to recovery after the image of hairy ass in the butt shield – but no – you just had to remind me. Now I’m going to buy this mirror – rip off one of the hair infested razors and slit my wrists. I am. I’m going to do it and it will be you fault Kraken.

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That’s crap, from start to finish.

What the FUCK are you supposed to do with this heap of shit?

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FUUUUUUUGLY. Who the heck would put this on a wall?

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It reminds me of when I helped a friend clean out her bathroom cabinets. Well, minus the creepy little crap gnomes.

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I have a great idea. Everyone from Regretsy should gather a few whimsicle pieces of crap they have laying around. Then we need someone with time, hot glue, and clear goo. We send the crap to the brave soul to make a wonderful, crafty whatever, then auction it for charity.

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Also, I can’t get that gravitar site to work for me…

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In the interest of verisimilitude, you claim this is made from a “plastic platter” when the description clearly says it is made from a “metal container lid.”

Totally different thing. Totally.

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Circles of Hell might be closer to the truth.

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In the Regretsy movie, who does Stingray Charles finally kiss before the credits roll? Van Gogh Babe or Kamikaze? And what actors play them?

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I think I see the Lindbergh baby in there.

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Found objects? I assume they were found in a biological waste disposal?

Also, I call false advertising for crossing the ‘CK’ in CRACK off on the banner.

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@ 48: and she has 500 sales! i didn’t know there were so many people out there who find “naughty aprons” whimsicle!

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http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=33162829

“Geepers Creepers, Jumpin’ Gee..Time Fer Spring! Time Fer Spring!”

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#139 js: my doppelganger:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bP_hnIMMVJU

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#136 DucksNew: register first; my WordPress log-in didn’t work either but the site let me register then use the program. Hope that works!

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js: I kid, I kid. My REAL doppelganger:

http://herecomestreble.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/robert-pattinson-2696383bkwgz_1350.jpg

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#146 Kamikaze:

Hiss!!!

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144, anyone who can dance in stilettos has my undying admiration!

I sure home that “verisimilitude” does not become the new “whimsicle”!! :0

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I’m homing with too. Tough to spell.

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Yah, good joke. “I’m homing for that, too”. d-oh!

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frostypumpkin: I know, right? To both.

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At least there’s no vagina on there.

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@ 151 that’s what you think. Maybe upon ordering you’d get a freebie vagina made of razors and doll hair…

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It is a violation of Regretsy’s Terms Of Abuse to call out other Regretsy losers by pointing out spelling errors. Thank yew. Bobwhite. regretsy admin. This thread has been closed.

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You are the weakest link, goodbye.

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Testing avatar…

Several Regretsians had their feelings hurt when you closed this thread. You are such a z-lister sock puppet, Kamikaze!!!

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Testing avatar again…

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WTF? Why is this avatar shit so complicated on WordPress?!?! Why can’t I just click a damn button and upload a photo?! I’m not gonna spend 3 hours fucking around on that gravatar site. I’ve cleared the cache like 5 times, waited 10 minutes, signed up for this and that.

Bah. Screw it. I’ll just keep the bald shoulderless little white dude. It’s the white guy from the Say What painting wearing the Bald Eagle hat, m’kay??

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#135 DucksNew, please, please find someone.

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I had to sign off and back on again before my avy showed up.

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Kamikaze – great choice! how could anyone NOT love Bebe Neuwirth?

(I’m choosing to ignore your 2nd casting suggestion)

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I know, right? I couldn’t agree with you more. Bebe it is then.

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Oh, and so’s you know, if you change your avatar, you need to wait 5 minutes and clear your browser cache to be sure to see it.

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It’s funny you picked Bebe, because one of my two casting choices is Vicki Lewis, and they were in at least one episode of Talk Radio together. COSMIC!

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Aaargh, I mean NewsRadio – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NewsRadio

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vicki_Lewis

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Erm, Vicki Lewis? I mean, I’m not the handsomest dude on the planet, but…not that she’s not lovely person.

Oh, who am I kidding?

OF COURSE I’m the handsomest dude on the planet.

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I am humble and self-effacing. My other casting choice is Sheila McCarthy. My main criteria were that they be redheads and kind of awkward and dorky.

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Oh, did you think I was choosing Vicki Lewis to play you? No, she’ll be playing me… unless Sheila McCarthy gets the role. Or maybe they’ll alternate.

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I always think you are talking about me. And j’adore Sheila McCarthy.

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We can offer the role to Sheila first then. Now we have to finish casting everybody else… except I think Helen should play herself.

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But of course! We should offer the role of VGB to Bebe, I really did have my heart set on Robbie (WHAT?! He’s freakin gorgeous! and he’s got “heat” atm, which is only good for the movie). Now of course, the lead…Stingray, the man himself…your turn.

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Well, okay fine, you can have Robbie. I feel sort of sorry for him anyway – I think being in a little weird indie movie is just what the doctor ordered, post-Twilight.

Here are a few choices for Stingray: David Bowie, Christopher Walken, Gary Oldman, Max Schreck, Bruno S, Willem Dafoe, and Hugh Laurie. Unfortunately Max Schreck is dead, which could pose difficulties.

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OH! js. oh. I thought they were all dead.

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Say what?

p
x

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not quite. And I forgot to add John Malkovich and Donald Southerland. I hope we can fit them all into this movie somehow.

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OH! js. oh. How to put this delicately? Ryan Reynolds? Taye Diggs? I prefer older, not inter-generational. I mean, I AM walking off with him in the end.

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#steps slowly away, quietly closes the door….#

p
x

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Well, it’s not like we have a new posting to rip is it pauldodo? (btw, your my actual first pic, got any acting experience?)

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haha- when you say acting…… and when you say experience…. ?

But hey, I’ll do it if I get to do the sunset thing with ya, Kami!

Where do I sign?

p
x

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Hmmm… yeah, I kind of forgot you were in the running for the kiss at the end of the film. Or maybe I just “forgot.” See, originally I thought you were a girl. Not that there’s anything wrong with you not being a girl. Lots of fine people are not.

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JS- say moi?- Sorry, it’s late here and I just got home….

What’s the plot line again? Who gets to do the kissing? can it be swapped for a naked car chase?

Just askin’.

p
x

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oh, so confusing… I thought Kami was a girl. I don’t know why, I just did.

I figured with a name like Paul you probably were a dude. Or at least a person in a purple hat.

I was visualizing the final scene being kind of like the end of this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTPko-aXvJM except the motorbike is towing a 5th wheel full of crap featured on Regretsy. And then there’s a giant bonfire. But you can add some car chases and explosions if you like.

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Once and for all:

Kamikaze: Dude
pauldodo: Dude
js: Not Dude.

Still up for the sunset pauldodo? ;

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Seriously, we need a new post.

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hey, anything’s possible in Regretsy land, js…..

But yeah, I am a dude in this life.

Kami- you playing with my heart again?

I still want the naked car chase.

p
x

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No

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Being highly pragmatic I absolutely LOVE the idea of this item; too bad the finished product looks nothing at all like a good idea….

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And just in time for Thanksgiving, the “Thanksgiving Platter”:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=33161995
It makes me want to vomit. D=

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