Honey, I Shrunk the Kids
Now, when you say, “custom”, do you mean “painting you and your husband at 1:87 scale”? Because I’m not sure I want to get married in the Department 56 Wedding Village.
By the way, this takes four weeks to arrive, so hopefully Dumbeldore’s spell will have worn off by then and you’ll be tall enough to refuse the package.
November 19, 2009 at 11:00 am
OH NO! looks like they chose a nice spot in the shire for the pictures though…
November 19, 2009 at 11:03 am
wow, those people who paint on grains of rice or getting GOOD!
November 19, 2009 at 11:04 am
I keep trying to figure out what really is wrong about this painting. It’s mesmerizing.
November 19, 2009 at 11:06 am
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November 19, 2009 at 11:07 am
I meant ARE getting good. not or.
November 19, 2009 at 11:07 am
http://images.tvrage.com/shows/23/22683.jpg
November 19, 2009 at 11:09 am
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November 19, 2009 at 11:09 am
200.00? I think she must have meant .20.
November 19, 2009 at 11:09 am
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November 19, 2009 at 11:11 am
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=34827508
November 19, 2009 at 11:12 am
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November 19, 2009 at 11:13 am
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November 19, 2009 at 11:15 am
Wow, only $200 and you can’t be bothered to paint more than 6 square inches?
If I double the price, would you at least fill the whole $#@@%^g canvas???
November 19, 2009 at 11:15 am
doesn’t look like canvas either. What a deal! I get shrunk and no canvas all for $200!
November 19, 2009 at 11:16 am
I used to draw a little… Had problems drawing realistic faces, proper perspectives, and no idea when it came to painting. I stopped then, rather than filling an etsy shop with crap! Come on people, is it really so difficult to recognize your own faults!?
November 19, 2009 at 11:16 am
“Isn’t he dreamy? This portrait is inspired by the trinity of important males in my life, namely my husband, my father, and one of my grandfathers. Strangely enough, I also see a resemblance to Elvis . . . subconscious, perhaps? Hmmm.”
No, do go on…..*makes notes*
November 19, 2009 at 11:16 am
Yes
November 19, 2009 at 11:22 am
I wonder what would happen if a little person comissioned a portrait by this artist… Would it come out as them being average height, or would it come out as them being a teeny tiny person? hmm…
November 19, 2009 at 11:25 am
#15 made me snort. I’m strangely proud of it.
I personally think that gorgeous copper paint around the bubbled couple is worth every penny. The SMOOTH paint application is sublime.
November 19, 2009 at 11:28 am
#15: LOL at (yes!) work, thanks!
November 19, 2009 at 11:29 am
Looks like tiny people in front of a potted cactus! If I were to commission a memorable portrait for that price, it would not be with this person!
November 19, 2009 at 11:30 am
Maybe the couple requested that they were painted looking younger and the artist got a bit carried away. Sometimes, the artistic liberties go straight to your head.
November 19, 2009 at 11:31 am
Well this explains the mini people:
“Most paintings you see are small-scale acrylic illustrations . . .”
Small scale! See they are meant to be woodland fairy scale ;P
November 19, 2009 at 11:31 am
I think the portrait is on wood…..so perhaps a piece of furniture got ruined.
Where’s the room shot?
November 19, 2009 at 11:32 am
They are childhood sweethearts! They are getting painted as though they were married at 8 years old in the playground behind the bigtoy.
November 19, 2009 at 11:33 am
Anyone read the “artists” profile?
“In college, I majored in art for several years before becoming a nurse, and was mosty influenced by Cindy Sherman, Klimt, Waterhouse, El Greco . . Today, my greatest influence is my daughter; you will find that many of my paintings seem more like illustrations. I have been reading a lot of children’s books with my daughter lately, and I believe the influence has rubbed off . . .”
November 19, 2009 at 11:35 am
Jesus people. It’s 16 x 20 canvas, not a cameo.
November 19, 2009 at 11:37 am
Yikes, the size of the groom’s head…
November 19, 2009 at 11:38 am
Honey, remember your nightmare where an evil witch turned us into trolls on our wedding day? Well, wah-lah! Here it is, captured in an extra special way, Happy Anniversary!
November 19, 2009 at 11:40 am
wah-lah, indeed.
November 19, 2009 at 11:40 am
I want to marry Regretsy and commission a portrait to mark our day has husband and site.
November 19, 2009 at 11:42 am
I’ve heard of people that paint with their feet.
November 19, 2009 at 11:44 am
“Wouldn’t you like to capture a special moment in an extra-special way?”
YES!
“Let me paint that moment for you!”
Not that special, but thanks.
November 19, 2009 at 11:44 am
How do you know it’s not what was ordered?
“Hi, yeah, can you paint us at 8 years old? Uh-huh. It’s our wedding day. No – why would that be wierd? Oh, and we’re both really into potted cacti, so you need to work that in. On a cloud of woodgrain for a classy touch, if you can. No, I prefer orangy if you have that. And can you do us with extra shiny heads? Yeah – that’d be great. We just adore extra shiny heads. Brilliant – should I pay you now or later? Fantastic.”
November 19, 2009 at 11:45 am
If you shake it, does snow fall?
November 19, 2009 at 11:46 am
nope. it’s definitely done on canvas, guys. if you zoom on it, you can see the weave.
and #31…very, very funny.
November 19, 2009 at 11:50 am
You’re right #33.
November 19, 2009 at 11:51 am
Is the groom wearing spats?
November 19, 2009 at 11:59 am
For $200, we can take a portrait of you on a special day and create a “re-imagining” as if you were the star of your own TLC show about small people.
LOL @ #35 I think he is!
November 19, 2009 at 12:07 pm
I believe what this painting illustrates is illegal in 48 states.
November 19, 2009 at 12:10 pm
It reminds me of “The Sky’s the Limit” video by Notorious B.I.G.
November 19, 2009 at 12:11 pm
Is it just me or does the “women” remind anyone else of Raven Simone?
November 19, 2009 at 12:11 pm
(the painting not the pic)
November 19, 2009 at 12:23 pm
look honey! i got a painting so that we’ll always remember our beautiful wedding day when that shaman turned us into elves and transported us to the land of cucumbers.
November 19, 2009 at 12:30 pm
Jeffreycarey wins my max titters award for this thread.
Collect your prize from the reception desk- it’s a special portrait I had painted of you from a photograph I took with my computer…..
It’s very realistic.
p
x
November 19, 2009 at 12:30 pm
#37, I don’t get it…
Am I just slow or something?
Seeing as I’m in Canada, I don’t know much “aboot” your laws… ; )
November 19, 2009 at 12:36 pm
#42- 2nd option.
Bless!
p
x
November 19, 2009 at 12:37 pm
@42 WrathOfFoamy –
Most US States frown upon children getting married. Most…
November 19, 2009 at 12:41 pm
oh! Duh! ha ha… I thought there was some kind of law trying to stop “little people” from marrying! now I look dumb! just not as dumb as the painting in question
November 19, 2009 at 12:42 pm
btw… most? in what state would 8yr olds be allowed to marry?
November 19, 2009 at 12:42 pm
You don’t look dumb…this painting has sucked up all the dumb in the world and isn’t sharing.
xx
November 19, 2009 at 12:44 pm
@46 WrathOfFoamy –
Well, I was going to make a few jokes about certain US states but you know…decided against it.
Really no states allow children to marry.
Except maybe Kentucky.
I can say that because my family is from Kentucky, right?
November 19, 2009 at 12:47 pm
#47 is too awesome! ha ha…
yeah, kids can’t get married here either, so I didn’t think of that one… oh well. maybe I can redeem myself later on…
November 19, 2009 at 12:48 pm
Okay, after staring into dementia, er, I mean the dimensions, I *think* I see how she dwarfed the groom. His jacket falls long, almost like a duster jacket, and she painted his arms really long, like to the coat hem. Not so in the photo. Now his legs look uber short, arms long. He is taller than the bride, but in the picture, they look about the same height, likely due to her dress, veil, etc, broadening. You can see they are not, as his shoulders are above hers.
November 19, 2009 at 12:50 pm
That being said, if you cannot proportionately execute an illustration, best not to open up an Etsy shop and charge $200 for painting normal size folks you revision with dwarfism on your MDF particle board coffee table.
November 19, 2009 at 12:53 pm
Yes yes I see where the bride resembles Raven… I also see where the groom resembles Webster.. no? Am I wrong? oh… well I think he does!
November 19, 2009 at 12:55 pm
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November 19, 2009 at 1:00 pm
Sorry, VoteAudrey, you lost me. Were you being racist?
November 19, 2009 at 1:03 pm
Greatest influence is my daughter = excuse for the immature quality of my paintings.
November 19, 2009 at 1:04 pm
Oh, pauldodo, you can give my portrait to WrathOfFoamy. I think she’s shorter than me and, besides, we all look the same to me.
November 19, 2009 at 1:18 pm
This is what you and your bride would look like if you had achondroplasia.
November 19, 2009 at 1:28 pm
seriously chronic…
November 19, 2009 at 1:49 pm
My husband just said: “I wouldn’t let her paint my garage”
November 19, 2009 at 1:58 pm
“In college, I majored in art for several years…” I see. So you were out sick the day they covered the Vitruvian Man, then?
November 19, 2009 at 2:03 pm
Is it just me or does the guys face look extremely long in the painting?? They look like 2 kids in their parent wedding clothes
November 19, 2009 at 2:22 pm
I totally read about this on TMZ. Raven Simone married Emmanuel Lewis in a giant pie tin. The groom’s family (a group of pickles) and the bride’s family (a gigantic halved honeydew melon) were both present at the ceremony.
November 19, 2009 at 2:24 pm
It’s Gary Coleman’s wedding day — totally the first thing I thought when I saw this.
November 19, 2009 at 2:25 pm
It was not a good idea for the seller to include the photograph she was working from — this only works as a selling tool if your painting looks respectably like the inspiration.
November 19, 2009 at 2:30 pm
#67: Ha! You’re right, that’s totally Gary Coleman.
I’m thinking the bride’s family might be more like a gigantic halved kiwi. Honeydew melons are more round and lighter green.
November 19, 2009 at 2:48 pm
Its amazing that the turn around time is four weeks considering she is shrinking everything down
November 19, 2009 at 2:55 pm
That’s just sad
November 19, 2009 at 3:49 pm
According to the artist’s profile:
“As I paint, I’m finding a playful part of me emerge: much of my subject material revolves around notions of dolls and dress-up and manipulating these very plastic concepts into tongue-and-cheekery.”
This could explain why she turns her subjects into Fisher-Price playhouse people. Tongue-and-cheekery may just be the new whimsicle!
November 19, 2009 at 4:03 pm
So glad to Lilliput has a strong appreciation for the arts. (The mini-arts.)
November 19, 2009 at 4:04 pm
…glad to *see* Lilliput
Jesus.
November 19, 2009 at 5:05 pm
Its actually more concerning that the groom was fitted with such an ill fitting jacket
November 19, 2009 at 6:34 pm
Little Bill, you know the two of you can’t wear white after you’ve already tapped that.
November 19, 2009 at 7:01 pm
Beetlejuice, beetlejuice, beetlejuice!
@ #30. Nice, HAHA!
November 19, 2009 at 7:02 pm
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November 19, 2009 at 7:11 pm
don’t laugh, that’s his shawty
November 20, 2009 at 2:58 am
HAAAAAAAAA.
Thats all I have to say.
November 20, 2009 at 5:00 am
#27 That’s what I thought. The bad proportions wouldn’t as noticeable if they didn’t have huge heads.
But the quality is still horrible.
November 20, 2009 at 5:24 am
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=34901378
The seller removed the original listing because it was oft viewed but unhearted and she couldn’t understand why, but with renewed confidence has relisted.
Who wants to break the regretsy to her?
November 20, 2009 at 5:26 am
“Initially, I was so upset that I deleted the listing, feeling like an utter failure. But after thinking about it, I decided to relist it. This can be an interesting learning experience. And bad art needs a forum too.
Something about this painting attracted attention, yet immediately disappointed. I am curious . . . Drop me a line.
I was inspired to at least start a new blog:
http://www.thebaaadartist.blogspot.com.”
November 20, 2009 at 7:01 am
She’s manipulating her paintings with “Tongue-and-cheekery”?? Say what!
November 20, 2009 at 7:05 am
Oh man, she re-listed it because no one “hearted” it… So sad! It’s now $150–people! The price shrunk too
November 20, 2009 at 7:07 am
Oops, here’s the link: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=34901378
November 20, 2009 at 8:31 am
And for 3 bucks you can have her critique your work.
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=34905135
November 20, 2009 at 8:38 am
I imagine one of the anti-Regretsy mafia over at Etsy will let the seller know. It was those mean & eeeeeeevil people over at that mean & eeeeeeeevil Regretsy site that makes fun of artists and hurts their feelings. They are the real reason van Gogh cut off his ear!
November 20, 2009 at 8:48 am
Fuck me sidewise; I like this woman.
November 20, 2009 at 10:00 am
these people should not fret. There is a place where they can send their crap. MOBA (Museum of Bad Art) it’s in Mass.
November 20, 2009 at 6:09 pm
Looks like Oompa Loompas in formal wear.
November 20, 2009 at 6:31 pm
I was one of the people who submitted this to Regretsy. I almost feel bad now.
Almost.
November 21, 2009 at 8:58 pm
You know this seller has actually started a blog called baaadartist.blogspot.com.
And as much as i live regretsy i really think we have all sent the wrong message to her. HAve a look at her shop, as well as sold items, and she does have some talent. I bought one of her paintings because i liked it- the Dreamboat one.
November 21, 2009 at 9:00 pm
*love* although lately it has been *live* lol
November 21, 2009 at 9:49 pm
I like this a whole lot:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=35018438
It has a def. Toulouse Lautrec vibe to it. The way I see it, if you’re not a major suckass (which she really kinda isn’t) criticism only makes you better.
Art is my fulltime job, and I snark my own stuff like mad. Then for extra checks and balances, send it to my snarkiest friends while it is in progress.
November 22, 2009 at 3:59 am
Broken link.
November 22, 2009 at 4:59 am
Item now located here:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=34901378
November 23, 2009 at 6:00 pm
Now THAT’S art. Love the extra long arms and her added goatee. And pickles for a backdrop. Heirloom quality.
November 25, 2009 at 4:40 pm
While the little flower girl was bored during the wedding party’s photography session after the ceremony, she crayoned this depiction of the Junior Groom and Junior Bride, but her mother threw it out while she wasn’t looking, as it wasn’t particularly good.
December 9, 2009 at 3:44 am
after looking at the items featured on regretsy, i think this is my all time favorite item.
April 16, 2010 at 6:59 am
Im sorry but the painting is overpriced for the quality of it.
Also, they look like miniature ‘slaves’ in the painting with the big white lips and all. Sorry but not flaturing at all.