3/18/10 TOTAL: $661.69
Profits from Regretsy merchandise are used to hire Etsy artists to create handmade products for various charities, or to directly benefit Etsy sellers in need.
All revenue generated by Regretsy.com is donated to charitable works. See our Charity page for complete information.
Money raised to date for all projects: $1761.69
Dew Drop Inn – NSFW
120 comments
Oh golly, that is just such a cute story. I never get tired of it. In fact, I think it might be the best thing Garrison Keillor ever wrote!
Nov 19, 20091:17 pm
This confuses me so much. What the hell is it? What’s up with the description?
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0
Nov 19, 20091:19 pm
Dewey should get that looked at
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Nov 19, 20091:19 pm
awesome i can wear it with my needle felted vagina!
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Nov 19, 20091:20 pm
So incontinence is now whimsicle?
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Nov 19, 20091:22 pm
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Nov 19, 20091:22 pm
YUCK! This lady just made butt necklace guy look classy
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Nov 19, 20091:23 pm
well, I guess the needle felted vagina has met its match…absorbent !
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Nov 19, 20091:24 pm
Aghast! The “NSFW” warning wasn’t on the tweet. What?!
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Nov 19, 20091:25 pm
Penis Pendant- always was my favourite Wacky Races character.
p
x
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Nov 19, 20091:25 pm
Should Dew-drop off a prescription for penicillin at the pharmacy?
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Nov 19, 20091:25 pm
#1, #7: HER store? This LADY? The innocence overwhelms…seller’s a dude ladies.
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Nov 19, 20091:25 pm
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Nov 19, 20091:26 pm
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Nov 19, 20091:28 pm
the.descriptions.omg.
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Nov 19, 20091:28 pm
not.to.mention.the.items.
super-weird.
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Nov 19, 20091:29 pm
Gangrene? Caterpillar drool? Yikes.
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Nov 19, 20091:29 pm
This would be a nice surprise to wear under my shield. If that can also be worn as a necklace, then this surely can be worn as a buttlace, no?
It’s reaching the point where you have to put all this shit on a person, you know. It’s a natural progression from “View in Room” to “View on Model”.
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Nov 19, 20091:30 pm
HOW SCANDALOUS! I must search Etsy for some pearls to clutch.
LOL that’s awsome. I will have to remember that one.
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Nov 19, 20091:31 pm
A Prairie Home Companion.
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Nov 19, 20091:36 pm
Mustn’t…buy…Big Head Ed
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Nov 19, 20091:36 pm
OMG this is a great shop…must go back to it when the kids are in bed. I am loving the descriptions!
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Nov 19, 20091:43 pm
This one is the worst.
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=24377501
OH. OH DEAR GOD. T_T
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Nov 19, 20091:43 pm
Am I the only one who thinks this looks like a spitting praying mantis
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Nov 19, 20091:44 pm
Dew-drop into your nearest free clinic ASAP.
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Nov 19, 20091:49 pm
His other lampwork shop is called burningscentsations:
http://www.etsy.com/shop/burningscentsations
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Nov 19, 20091:54 pm
Wow now U can get his and hers necklaces for your parents for christmas. I know we were all wondering what we could get for our dad’s to go with mom’s woolly vajay jay necklace. Man I know that’s one less hard to find gift off my list!!!
Rate this comment: +1
Nov 19, 20091:54 pm
Oh man, those stories are really some f****d up s**t!
The link in #23’s post is just too wierd. After reading that, I think I need to pour some acid in my ear to dissolve the memory of reading such crazy crap.
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Nov 19, 20091:55 pm
#11 Stingray: LOL, and there’s the much love again, gonorrhea outsmarted penicillin decades ago, it’s all fluoroquinolones now.
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Nov 19, 20091:55 pm
It looks like a deflated party balloon.
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Nov 19, 20091:57 pm
Or so I’m told.
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Nov 19, 20091:57 pm
BTW, I was gonna’ make a crack about it being some kind of sick gay fantasy story, and decided against it… Then I read the bio… how ever did I guess?
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Nov 19, 20091:58 pm
The perfect gift for those with an oral fixation, who can’t help but stick their pendants in their mouths…
no?
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Nov 19, 20091:59 pm
Actually as gay fantasy stories go these are pretty vanilla.
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Nov 19, 20092:01 pm
#30, I actually registered for this site just so I could sign in to say I have never laughed harder!!
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Nov 19, 20092:05 pm
dang, ‘guess I don’t wanna hear a real one then…
still makes me feel dirty just for reading it! 
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Nov 19, 20092:08 pm
@ #28 WrathOfFoamy:
“I think I need to pour some acid in my ear to dissolve the memory of reading such crazy crap.”
…fucking hilarious!
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Nov 19, 20092:08 pm
There are some pretty good gems in the feedback, too.
but really, why would someone want to wear an incontinent penis?
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Nov 19, 20092:14 pm
oh yeah I forgot Garrison Keillor IS a guy with a warped imagination
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Nov 19, 20092:15 pm
I wonder what the Hanky Code for this is?
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Nov 19, 20092:19 pm
#39: Aqua
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Nov 19, 20092:20 pm
The dripsy-dangler !
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Nov 19, 20092:20 pm
Again, the innocence…overwhelms. I love you all.
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Nov 19, 20092:21 pm
Love the Garrison Keillor connection, Helen. Brilliant.
At least the dicks are getting equal time with the vulvas now.
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Nov 19, 20092:24 pm
‘At least the dicks are getting equal time with the vulvas now.’
That can only lead to more trouble…..
p
x
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Nov 19, 20092:25 pm
#40: Well played 
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Nov 19, 20092:27 pm
Thank you addiosis. Actually, the current count is Vaginas 12, Penises 2. Helen, you owe me 10 penises.
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Nov 19, 20092:28 pm
addiosix! my apologies.
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Nov 19, 20092:31 pm
On a technicle (ha) level , thats actually quite well made
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Nov 19, 20092:32 pm
Uh oh, #35 Kimmer-G, another one gets pulled into the vacuum.
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Nov 19, 20092:33 pm
Just dab it with a square of toilet paper, guys! Trust me — a little hygiene goes a long way.
But hey, at least it’s a change from the WoMyNBlOoDMoOnGoDdEsS-style ‘nothing is greater than your vag!!!!’ crap.
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Nov 19, 20092:39 pm
#35 Kimmer-G : #47 jeffreyrcarey : Yes… Welcome to our not so private hell…
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Nov 19, 20092:40 pm
Aaaaand I had to create a profile just to say…..
WHAT
THE
FUCK.
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Nov 19, 20092:40 pm
I love that he has a selection of both “cut” and “uncut” offerings! Oh, which to choose…
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Nov 19, 20092:42 pm
#29 Kamikaze: Thank you for your patience, oh enlightened one.
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Nov 19, 20092:42 pm
#40 Kamikaze… : Aqua! You slay me…
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Nov 19, 20092:44 pm
#50 rotnblue : I’d go with King Tut if I were you…
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Nov 19, 20092:45 pm
#47 and #49: Please!!
is there some kind of 12 step program for this site?? I can’t stay away!
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Nov 19, 20092:50 pm
#54 Kimmer-G : Step 1… Learn to spell and use the word “whimsicle” in a sentence. Step 2… Learn the aforementioned “Hanky Code”…
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Nov 19, 20092:56 pm
#55 martini
Thank you for your whimsicle answer. It will help me immensely as I depart from the office with a light blue handkerchief in my left back pocket…
am I in? am I in??
Rate this comment: +1
Nov 19, 20092:59 pm
#56 Kimmer-G : You’ll have to check with Kamikaze, but you get my vote… Congratulations?
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Nov 19, 20093:01 pm
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear….Kimmer-G, it will help you immensely if you wish to advertise you like to receive fellatio. Keep trying.
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Nov 19, 20093:04 pm
combining a cum dripping phallus with Garison Keillor… I heart you.
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Nov 19, 20093:05 pm
ha!
how bout I put one of those yellow yarn spats in my left back pocket and advertise I like doing it in public bathrooms?
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Nov 19, 20093:05 pm
oh, and that was to #58, Kamikaze 
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Nov 19, 20093:06 pm
Somewhere, somewhere out on these vast internets, there is a ton of this guy’s wordy and rambling amateur porn, just crying out for a psychiatrist to find, and in a dickensian twist worth of one of his penis necklace stories, bump into him at a craft show and give him the therapy he so desperately needs.
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Nov 19, 20093:07 pm
I still think you can save 25 bucks and glue one of these things to your neck:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/22/Praying_mantis_india.jpg
Just dribble some water onto it periodically and you’re good to go.
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Nov 19, 20093:12 pm
It doesn’t even resemble a penis to me. Maybe it’s been too long since I’ve seen one because I totally can see addiosix’s spitting praying mantis and GrayPyre’s deflated party balloon, but dripping dick, no.
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Nov 19, 20093:12 pm
Kimmer-G: you’re getting warmer……not so much IN bathrooms, but warmer.
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Nov 19, 20093:14 pm
Lara: “I love your dream” – Ethel Shatford
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Nov 19, 20093:20 pm
@#11 BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH!!!!!
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Nov 19, 20093:22 pm
#47 Kamikaze:
You forgot the one in the pumpkin! The Great One hath offered up Three Penises for thine awesomeness.
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Nov 19, 20093:23 pm
Kamikaze: Thanks, man, today you taught me:
1. how to create a Regretsy avatar
2. to make sure my red bandanna is never hanging out of my back pocket.
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Nov 19, 20093:25 pm
totally just ordered “Nervous Ned” to give my best friend for Christmas! I think its hilarious, hope she loves it, lol!
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Nov 19, 20093:28 pm
Stingray: Tease.
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Nov 19, 20093:30 pm
And now for some Regretsy Jeopardy!
Q – What do a: Dripping penis, fuzzy vag, and a butt shield all have in common?
A – All these things should be seen by your doctor as soon as possible to avoid more of an infectious spread.
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Nov 19, 20093:30 pm
#68 bistitchual :
*googles Hanky Code for ‘I have a deflated party balloon praying-mantis in my pants’*
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Nov 19, 20093:36 pm
Kimmer-G, Step 3: We admitted we were powerless over View-in-a-Room. Step 4: Make direct amends to those we may have offended by indicating, “I AM NOT A RACIST”.
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Nov 19, 20093:43 pm
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=34680073
This little story is pretty messed up too…
I wonder if all the pendants with guy’s names, are modeled after real people, and all these stories are actually true… Some kind of wierd pillow talk he remembers and writes down as a story to go along with his “cocks”
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Nov 19, 20093:45 pm
I love how the balls are uneven. That’s what I want in a man: drippy penis, huge uneven balls. Sexy.
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Nov 19, 20093:57 pm
Ew ew awkward. Hello therapy!
Yeah, there’s nothing mature about this dick.
Rate this comment: +1
Nov 19, 20094:07 pm
The descriptions alone are worth 25 bucks. The pendants are just a bonus!
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Nov 19, 20094:08 pm
#79 WrathOfFoamy :
There once was a man from Nantucket,
with a penis the color of Muppets.
I’ve remade it in glass,
and typed a story about his ass.
(His hanky was beige so I sucked it.)
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Nov 19, 20094:08 pm
I can’t stop reading them! Each one is wierder than the last…
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Nov 19, 20094:29 pm
The dedication and attention to detail in this one… well… I’m impressed #handmadeftw
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Nov 19, 20094:39 pm
BWHAHA Foamy!
there are really just some people who should not be allowed near crafts
Rate this comment: +1
Nov 19, 20094:55 pm
WrathOfFoamy: Knew you’d get hooked…;)
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Nov 19, 20094:56 pm
#23 Calophi
I agree, that one’s the worst, mostly because of the creepy pornographic story that goes with it.
Moral: “Don’t put your dick in your brothers’ box”. Actually the moral is “Don’t write bad porn to try to sell your lampwork penis pendants”.
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Nov 19, 20094:56 pm
The one Calophi posted looks more like half a dinosaur than a cock and balls.
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Nov 19, 20094:59 pm
I have a feeling the burning s(c)entsations might just clear up if he’d get that dripping checked out. I’m just sayin’.
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Nov 19, 20095:00 pm
Why are people assuming this etsy artist is female? I saw it and thought it was obviously a gay man. I definitely think gay people usually have better taste then the rest of the population, but there are lapses.
he profile says he’s male and living with his partner, so I was right.
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Nov 19, 20096:23 pm
Why didn’t any of Dewey’s friends tell him to go to the doctor before his junk turned green. I am pretty certain contstant dick drip is not a good sign
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Nov 19, 20096:26 pm
Glass blowing is a delicate art form.
So is cock blowing…
Oh, wait…I get it
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Nov 19, 20096:29 pm
THANK YOU vangoghbabe I just couldn’t be the one; yes, same skill set, different direction.
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Nov 19, 20096:36 pm
you’re welcome.
BTW I want an image in my square,,,,, how???
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Nov 19, 20096:46 pm
Nov 19, 20096:49 pm
sweet, merci
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Nov 19, 20097:24 pm
I wonder what this pendant is dangling from…
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Nov 19, 20097:49 pm
this is repulsive and strangely fascinating at the same time…
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Nov 19, 20098:14 pm
I know this is all wrong but I kind of like the strange little stories.
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Nov 19, 20098:43 pm
WHAT………IN………..THE………..MOTHER…….FUCK????!!!!
Okay, I’ve calmed down a smidge.
I want to know why could the kids on the swim team see that his dick was dripping? How is it that they can distinguish the difference between the water from the pool and this “clear fluid”?
Why does the fact that “he’s tall and muscular and athletic” mean that he shouldn’t be dripping from his pee hole?
I’m not drunk enough for this.
Rate this comment: +1
Nov 19, 20099:24 pm
Kind of reminds me about all the stories our neighbor told us about his time serving in Korea.
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Nov 19, 200910:17 pm
A triumph of the glass..er….blower’s craft.
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Nov 20, 20091:46 am
Oh, no. The fireman one is the worst…
Too… many… penis puns…
Ahh
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Nov 20, 20094:57 am
#104. Ah. The fireman one. Thanks for bringing that to my attention, pants.
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Nov 20, 20095:50 am
One would think that by the time you have ended up blowing glass penises for a living you should reevaluate your career path.
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Nov 20, 20096:16 am
I’m so relieved to know that “The size of the hole is 10mm which makes it easy to string onto just about any chain or cord necklace.” I was worried about what chain to put it on!
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Nov 20, 20097:54 am
Please photograph next to a dollar for scale so I can determine if it’s worth it.
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Nov 20, 20098:11 am
I personally find it hilarious that he has two categories for his penis pendants: cut and uncut.
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Nov 20, 20098:25 am
I went to her shop and happened to notice she has another shop. The work there is quite striking and some of the pieces are really lovely. She must do the mature stuff as a joke. Here’s her other store: http://www.etsy.com/shop/BurningScentsations
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Nov 20, 20098:53 am
This is so appetizing. I can’t imagine living my life without it… 
(sarcasm is really hard to type)
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Nov 20, 20099:16 am
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=23030763
I feel sorry for Warren. He is very flaccid. Poor divorced guy with a psychadelic coloured flaccid penis!
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Nov 20, 20091:03 pm
Hey Dewey, does the steady drip, drip drip of gonnorhea get you down?
BTW…damn Garrison Keillor. I have removed his card from my Apples to Apples game because I can’t stay awake when someone mentions his name.
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Nov 20, 20092:05 pm
looking through the rest of his creepy penis necklaces, the descriptions are TOO fucking funny, omg!
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Nov 20, 20094:17 pm
Why do almost none of them actually look like dicks to me? Is it all the funky colors?
Rate this comment: 0
Nov 21, 20091:20 am
I am sorry, the words grandfather and dripping penis should never be joined together. Gross.
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Nov 21, 20091:21 am
If I ever see a man with lopsided balls like that I am running out of the room
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Nov 21, 20091:39 am
WTH, mean ass brothers:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=24377501
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Nov 22, 20094:02 pm
I just don’t want Dewey around my neck, no thank you, no way…
Rate this comment: 0
Nov 28, 200910:15 am
Puppetry of the Penis- fossilized.
Rate this comment: 0
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