Dew Drop Inn (NSFW)
Oh golly, that is just such a cute story. I never get tired of it. In fact, I think it might be the best thing Garrison Keillor ever wrote!
123 comments on Dew Drop Inn (NSFW)
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
November 19, 2009 at 1:16 pm
Everyone must go to her store if only to read all the insane store she comes up with for every penis. Amazing really. Everyone should read her stories.
November 19, 2009 at 1:17 pm
This confuses me so much. What the hell is it? What’s up with the description?
November 19, 2009 at 1:19 pm
Dewey should get that looked at
November 19, 2009 at 1:19 pm
awesome i can wear it with my needle felted vagina!
November 19, 2009 at 1:20 pm
So incontinence is now whimsicle?
November 19, 2009 at 1:22 pm
For the man who needs to advertise his gonorrhea.
November 19, 2009 at 1:22 pm
YUCK! This lady just made butt necklace guy look classy
November 19, 2009 at 1:23 pm
well, I guess the needle felted vagina has met its match…absorbent !
November 19, 2009 at 1:24 pm
Aghast! The “NSFW” warning wasn’t on the tweet. What?!
November 19, 2009 at 1:25 pm
Penis Pendant- always was my favourite Wacky Races character.
p
x
November 19, 2009 at 1:25 pm
Should Dew-drop off a prescription for penicillin at the pharmacy?
November 19, 2009 at 1:25 pm
#1, #7: HER store? This LADY? The innocence overwhelms…seller’s a dude ladies.
November 19, 2009 at 1:25 pm
HOW SCANDALOUS! I must search Etsy for some pearls to clutch.
November 19, 2009 at 1:26 pm
I worry about the kind of childhood these artists must have had to end up making lamp work penises…
November 19, 2009 at 1:28 pm
the.descriptions.omg.
November 19, 2009 at 1:28 pm
not.to.mention.the.items.
super-weird.
November 19, 2009 at 1:29 pm
Gangrene? Caterpillar drool? Yikes.
November 19, 2009 at 1:29 pm
This would be a nice surprise to wear under my shield. If that can also be worn as a necklace, then this surely can be worn as a buttlace, no?
It’s reaching the point where you have to put all this shit on a person, you know. It’s a natural progression from “View in Room” to “View on Model”.
November 19, 2009 at 1:30 pm
HOW SCANDALOUS! I must search Etsy for some pearls to clutch.
LOL that’s awsome. I will have to remember that one.
November 19, 2009 at 1:31 pm
A Prairie Home Companion.
November 19, 2009 at 1:36 pm
Mustn’t…buy…Big Head Ed
November 19, 2009 at 1:36 pm
OMG this is a great shop…must go back to it when the kids are in bed. I am loving the descriptions!
November 19, 2009 at 1:43 pm
This one is the worst.
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=24377501
OH. OH DEAR GOD. T_T
November 19, 2009 at 1:43 pm
Am I the only one who thinks this looks like a spitting praying mantis
November 19, 2009 at 1:44 pm
Dew-drop into your nearest free clinic ASAP.
November 19, 2009 at 1:49 pm
His other lampwork shop is called burningscentsations:
http://www.etsy.com/shop/burningscentsations
November 19, 2009 at 1:54 pm
Wow now U can get his and hers necklaces for your parents for christmas. I know we were all wondering what we could get for our dad’s to go with mom’s woolly vajay jay necklace. Man I know that’s one less hard to find gift off my list!!!
November 19, 2009 at 1:54 pm
Oh man, those stories are really some f****d up s**t!
The link in #23′s post is just too wierd. After reading that, I think I need to pour some acid in my ear to dissolve the memory of reading such crazy crap.
November 19, 2009 at 1:55 pm
#11 Stingray: LOL, and there’s the much love again, gonorrhea outsmarted penicillin decades ago, it’s all fluoroquinolones now.
November 19, 2009 at 1:55 pm
It looks like a deflated party balloon.
November 19, 2009 at 1:57 pm
Or so I’m told.
November 19, 2009 at 1:57 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
November 19, 2009 at 1:58 pm
The perfect gift for those with an oral fixation, who can’t help but stick their pendants in their mouths…
no?
November 19, 2009 at 1:59 pm
Actually as gay fantasy stories go these are pretty vanilla.
November 19, 2009 at 2:01 pm
#30, I actually registered for this site just so I could sign in to say I have never laughed harder!!
November 19, 2009 at 2:05 pm
dang, ‘guess I don’t wanna hear a real one then…
still makes me feel dirty just for reading it!
November 19, 2009 at 2:08 pm
@ #28 WrathOfFoamy:
“I think I need to pour some acid in my ear to dissolve the memory of reading such crazy crap.”
…fucking hilarious!
November 19, 2009 at 2:08 pm
There are some pretty good gems in the feedback, too.
but really, why would someone want to wear an incontinent penis?
November 19, 2009 at 2:14 pm
oh yeah I forgot Garrison Keillor IS a guy with a warped imagination
November 19, 2009 at 2:15 pm
I wonder what the Hanky Code for this is?
November 19, 2009 at 2:19 pm
#39: Aqua
November 19, 2009 at 2:20 pm
The dripsy-dangler !
November 19, 2009 at 2:20 pm
Again, the innocence…overwhelms. I love you all.
November 19, 2009 at 2:21 pm
Love the Garrison Keillor connection, Helen. Brilliant.
At least the dicks are getting equal time with the vulvas now.
November 19, 2009 at 2:24 pm
‘At least the dicks are getting equal time with the vulvas now.’
That can only lead to more trouble…..
p
x
November 19, 2009 at 2:25 pm
#40: Well played
November 19, 2009 at 2:27 pm
Thank you addiosis. Actually, the current count is Vaginas 12, Penises 2. Helen, you owe me 10 penises.
November 19, 2009 at 2:28 pm
addiosix! my apologies.
November 19, 2009 at 2:31 pm
On a technicle (ha) level , thats actually quite well made
November 19, 2009 at 2:32 pm
Uh oh, #35 Kimmer-G, another one gets pulled into the vacuum.
November 19, 2009 at 2:33 pm
Just dab it with a square of toilet paper, guys! Trust me — a little hygiene goes a long way.
But hey, at least it’s a change from the WoMyNBlOoDMoOnGoDdEsS-style ‘nothing is greater than your vag!!!!’ crap.
November 19, 2009 at 2:39 pm
#35 Kimmer-G : #47 jeffreyrcarey : Yes… Welcome to our not so private hell…
November 19, 2009 at 2:40 pm
Aaaaand I had to create a profile just to say…..
WHAT
THE
FUCK.
November 19, 2009 at 2:40 pm
I love that he has a selection of both “cut” and “uncut” offerings! Oh, which to choose…
November 19, 2009 at 2:42 pm
#29 Kamikaze: Thank you for your patience, oh enlightened one.
November 19, 2009 at 2:42 pm
#40 Kamikaze… : Aqua! You slay me…
November 19, 2009 at 2:44 pm
#50 rotnblue : I’d go with King Tut if I were you…
November 19, 2009 at 2:45 pm
#47 and #49: Please!!
is there some kind of 12 step program for this site?? I can’t stay away!
November 19, 2009 at 2:50 pm
#54 Kimmer-G : Step 1… Learn to spell and use the word “whimsicle” in a sentence. Step 2… Learn the aforementioned “Hanky Code”…
November 19, 2009 at 2:56 pm
#55 martini
Thank you for your whimsicle answer. It will help me immensely as I depart from the office with a light blue handkerchief in my left back pocket…
am I in? am I in??
November 19, 2009 at 2:59 pm
#56 Kimmer-G : You’ll have to check with Kamikaze, but you get my vote… Congratulations?
November 19, 2009 at 3:01 pm
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear….Kimmer-G, it will help you immensely if you wish to advertise you like to receive fellatio. Keep trying.
November 19, 2009 at 3:04 pm
combining a cum dripping phallus with Garison Keillor… I heart you.
November 19, 2009 at 3:05 pm
ha!
how bout I put one of those yellow yarn spats in my left back pocket and advertise I like doing it in public bathrooms?
November 19, 2009 at 3:05 pm
oh, and that was to #58, Kamikaze
November 19, 2009 at 3:06 pm
Somewhere, somewhere out on these vast internets, there is a ton of this guy’s wordy and rambling amateur porn, just crying out for a psychiatrist to find, and in a dickensian twist worth of one of his penis necklace stories, bump into him at a craft show and give him the therapy he so desperately needs.
November 19, 2009 at 3:07 pm
I still think you can save 25 bucks and glue one of these things to your neck:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/22/Praying_mantis_india.jpg
Just dribble some water onto it periodically and you’re good to go.
November 19, 2009 at 3:12 pm
It doesn’t even resemble a penis to me. Maybe it’s been too long since I’ve seen one because I totally can see addiosix’s spitting praying mantis and GrayPyre’s deflated party balloon, but dripping dick, no.
November 19, 2009 at 3:12 pm
Kimmer-G: you’re getting warmer……not so much IN bathrooms, but warmer.
November 19, 2009 at 3:14 pm
Lara: “I love your dream” – Ethel Shatford
November 19, 2009 at 3:20 pm
@#11 BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH!!!!!
November 19, 2009 at 3:22 pm
#47 Kamikaze:
You forgot the one in the pumpkin! The Great One hath offered up Three Penises for thine awesomeness.
November 19, 2009 at 3:23 pm
Kamikaze: Thanks, man, today you taught me:
1. how to create a Regretsy avatar
2. to make sure my red bandanna is never hanging out of my back pocket.
November 19, 2009 at 3:25 pm
totally just ordered “Nervous Ned” to give my best friend for Christmas! I think its hilarious, hope she loves it, lol!
November 19, 2009 at 3:28 pm
Stingray: Tease.
November 19, 2009 at 3:30 pm
And now for some Regretsy Jeopardy!
Q – What do a: Dripping penis, fuzzy vag, and a butt shield all have in common?
A – All these things should be seen by your doctor as soon as possible to avoid more of an infectious spread.
November 19, 2009 at 3:30 pm
#68 bistitchual :
*googles Hanky Code for ‘I have a deflated party balloon praying-mantis in my pants’*
November 19, 2009 at 3:36 pm
Kimmer-G, Step 3: We admitted we were powerless over View-in-a-Room. Step 4: Make direct amends to those we may have offended by indicating, “I AM NOT A RACIST”.
November 19, 2009 at 3:43 pm
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=34680073
This little story is pretty messed up too…
I wonder if all the pendants with guy’s names, are modeled after real people, and all these stories are actually true… Some kind of wierd pillow talk he remembers and writes down as a story to go along with his “cocks”
November 19, 2009 at 3:45 pm
I love how the balls are uneven. That’s what I want in a man: drippy penis, huge uneven balls. Sexy.
November 19, 2009 at 3:57 pm
Ew ew awkward. Hello therapy!
Yeah, there’s nothing mature about this dick.
November 19, 2009 at 4:07 pm
The descriptions alone are worth 25 bucks. The pendants are just a bonus!
November 19, 2009 at 4:08 pm
#79 WrathOfFoamy :
There once was a man from Nantucket,
with a penis the color of Muppets.
I’ve remade it in glass,
and typed a story about his ass.
(His hanky was beige so I sucked it.)
November 19, 2009 at 4:08 pm
I can’t stop reading them! Each one is wierder than the last…
November 19, 2009 at 4:29 pm
The dedication and attention to detail in this one… well… I’m impressed #handmadeftw
November 19, 2009 at 4:39 pm
BWHAHA Foamy!
there are really just some people who should not be allowed near crafts
November 19, 2009 at 4:55 pm
WrathOfFoamy: Knew you’d get hooked…;)
November 19, 2009 at 4:56 pm
#23 Calophi
I agree, that one’s the worst, mostly because of the creepy pornographic story that goes with it.
Moral: “Don’t put your dick in your brothers’ box”. Actually the moral is “Don’t write bad porn to try to sell your lampwork penis pendants”.
November 19, 2009 at 4:56 pm
The one Calophi posted looks more like half a dinosaur than a cock and balls.
November 19, 2009 at 4:59 pm
I have a feeling the burning s(c)entsations might just clear up if he’d get that dripping checked out. I’m just sayin’.
November 19, 2009 at 5:00 pm
Why are people assuming this etsy artist is female? I saw it and thought it was obviously a gay man. I definitely think gay people usually have better taste then the rest of the population, but there are lapses.
he profile says he’s male and living with his partner, so I was right.
November 19, 2009 at 6:23 pm
Why didn’t any of Dewey’s friends tell him to go to the doctor before his junk turned green. I am pretty certain contstant dick drip is not a good sign
November 19, 2009 at 6:26 pm
Glass blowing is a delicate art form.
So is cock blowing…
Oh, wait…I get it
November 19, 2009 at 6:29 pm
THANK YOU vangoghbabe I just couldn’t be the one; yes, same skill set, different direction.
November 19, 2009 at 6:36 pm
you’re welcome.
BTW I want an image in my square,,,,, how???
November 19, 2009 at 6:46 pm
vangoghbabe:
http://en.gravatar.com/
November 19, 2009 at 6:49 pm
sweet, merci
November 19, 2009 at 7:24 pm
I wonder what this pendant is dangling from…
November 19, 2009 at 7:49 pm
this is repulsive and strangely fascinating at the same time…
November 19, 2009 at 8:14 pm
I know this is all wrong but I kind of like the strange little stories.
November 19, 2009 at 8:43 pm
WHAT………IN………..THE………..MOTHER…….FUCK????!!!!
Okay, I’ve calmed down a smidge.
I want to know why could the kids on the swim team see that his dick was dripping? How is it that they can distinguish the difference between the water from the pool and this “clear fluid”?
Why does the fact that “he’s tall and muscular and athletic” mean that he shouldn’t be dripping from his pee hole?
I’m not drunk enough for this.
November 19, 2009 at 9:24 pm
Kind of reminds me about all the stories our neighbor told us about his time serving in Korea.
November 19, 2009 at 10:17 pm
A triumph of the glass..er….blower’s craft.
November 20, 2009 at 1:46 am
Oh, no. The fireman one is the worst…
Too… many… penis puns…
Ahh
November 20, 2009 at 4:57 am
#104. Ah. The fireman one. Thanks for bringing that to my attention, pants.
November 20, 2009 at 5:50 am
One would think that by the time you have ended up blowing glass penises for a living you should reevaluate your career path.
November 20, 2009 at 6:16 am
I’m so relieved to know that “The size of the hole is 10mm which makes it easy to string onto just about any chain or cord necklace.” I was worried about what chain to put it on!
November 20, 2009 at 7:54 am
Please photograph next to a dollar for scale so I can determine if it’s worth it.
November 20, 2009 at 8:11 am
I personally find it hilarious that he has two categories for his penis pendants: cut and uncut.
November 20, 2009 at 8:25 am
I went to her shop and happened to notice she has another shop. The work there is quite striking and some of the pieces are really lovely. She must do the mature stuff as a joke. Here’s her other store: http://www.etsy.com/shop/BurningScentsations
November 20, 2009 at 8:53 am
This is so appetizing. I can’t imagine living my life without it…
(sarcasm is really hard to type)
November 20, 2009 at 9:16 am
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=23030763
I feel sorry for Warren. He is very flaccid. Poor divorced guy with a psychadelic coloured flaccid penis!
November 20, 2009 at 1:03 pm
Hey Dewey, does the steady drip, drip drip of gonnorhea get you down?
BTW…damn Garrison Keillor. I have removed his card from my Apples to Apples game because I can’t stay awake when someone mentions his name.
November 20, 2009 at 2:05 pm
looking through the rest of his creepy penis necklaces, the descriptions are TOO fucking funny, omg!
November 20, 2009 at 4:17 pm
Why do almost none of them actually look like dicks to me? Is it all the funky colors?
November 21, 2009 at 1:20 am
I am sorry, the words grandfather and dripping penis should never be joined together. Gross.
November 21, 2009 at 1:21 am
If I ever see a man with lopsided balls like that I am running out of the room
November 21, 2009 at 1:39 am
WTH, mean ass brothers:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=24377501
November 22, 2009 at 4:02 pm
I just don’t want Dewey around my neck, no thank you, no way…
November 28, 2009 at 10:15 am
Puppetry of the Penis- fossilized.
September 30, 2010 at 8:01 pm
#23
The moral of the story? Don’t stick your dick in your brother’s box!
This isn’t just a moral for the story, it’s a moral for life!
January 24, 2011 at 11:11 pm
Please tell me that is not a true story! Yuck!
May 13, 2011 at 2:49 pm
This is the “Hard core” of tne Nasty things here.
ps. Do you make ‘em with a biger load? LOL!!!!..