Attention Horse

Posted by Helen Killer 107 comments

Filed in Art, View it in a Room 107 comments
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Nov 18, 2009
2:15 pm
#1 emily :

Shouldn’t that be as a young horse? This confuses me

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Nov 18, 2009
2:15 pm
#2 Lou :

Love the image in the room, haha!

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Nov 18, 2009
2:15 pm
#3 NotMyHyena :

Ah, truth in advertising…

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Nov 18, 2009
2:17 pm
#4 Dynomoose :
I don’t know what’s better about the view in a room. The fact that it’s story time or that the teacher is reading an effing Twilight book to the tots.

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Nov 18, 2009
2:17 pm
#5 whyohwhy :

This totally brightened my day.

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Nov 18, 2009
2:18 pm
#6 rodgertheshrubber :

I couldn’t have said it better. I like “expressive” art.

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Nov 18, 2009
2:18 pm
#7 AnnetteCurtain :

He’s probably getting his first de-beaning.

Horse beans – look it up horse fans, you won’t be disappointed.

I hate bloody horses, even foul mouthed ones.

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Nov 18, 2009
2:18 pm
#8 WrathOfFoamy :

so the big red four letter word on the painting is like a description? Aaah now I get it!
Shit indeed

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Nov 18, 2009
2:26 pm
#9 anti-flamitory :

the Twilight cover is fake, the front is Twilight but the back is the chess piece from Breaking Dawn.

yes, i know these things.

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Nov 18, 2009
2:27 pm
#10 WooHoo :

H is for HorseShit

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Nov 18, 2009
2:28 pm
#11 JD :

I guess it’s truth in advertising. I think it takes a few hundred paintings to get any good at painting. It looks like this person must be on painting #5.

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Nov 18, 2009
2:28 pm
#12 addiosix :

Horses don’t talk. Silly goose.

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Nov 18, 2009
2:29 pm
#13 John Foley :

“Ready to hang?”
Hanging’s too good for it.

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Nov 18, 2009
2:30 pm
#14 Booksanddecaf :

Wait wait! This is one of those pictogram teasers, right? Horse under shit?

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Nov 18, 2009
2:30 pm
#15 dangerousmezzo :

latebloomer, indeed.

He describes his work as “Indie rock kid art”. I’m not sure which adjective belongs to which verb in that fragment, but apparently the best subject for “indie rock kid art” (next to the swearing horse) is the giant squid. A very repetitive giant squid.

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Nov 18, 2009
2:30 pm
#16 Stingray Charles :

Wow, I never saw that episode of Mr. Ed.

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Nov 18, 2009
2:31 pm
#17 Dynomoose :

i don’t think anyone actually believed that the Twilight cover wasn’t photoshopped in.

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Nov 18, 2009
2:32 pm
#18 Booksanddecaf :

WAIT! I’VE GOT IT! The horse is under a CURSE!

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Nov 18, 2009
2:35 pm
#19 i am bean :

@ #16 Stingray Charles…LOL

yeah…Mr. Ed is talkin’ shit!

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Nov 18, 2009
2:38 pm
#20 Dynomoose :

It needs a giant vulva in the background

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Nov 18, 2009
2:40 pm
#21 i am bean :

@ #20 Dynomoose:

yes…with a vulva they can change the word to FUCK.

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Nov 18, 2009
2:43 pm
#22 Stingray Charles :

#19 Bean: Yeah, let’s hang him!

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Nov 18, 2009
2:48 pm
#23 Groshing :

Smegma. Awesome.

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Nov 18, 2009
2:49 pm
#24 i am bean :

a horse is a horse of course of course…(and so on)

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Nov 18, 2009
2:56 pm
#25 sorgenette :

“A Portrait of a Horse As a Young Man” If someone could explain to me what this means, I will forever be in your debt. I mean, shit. Oh, hey! I think I get it now!

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Nov 18, 2009
3:02 pm
#26 knitwithknives :

someone has bought one of these monstrosities….

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Nov 18, 2009
3:07 pm
#27 Lara :

It’s obvious that the artist ran out of the green provided in the paint-by-numbers set, and had a bunch of orange left over. So he or she expressed his or her frustration with the lack of planning at the paint-by-numbers-kit plant and also covered over some spots of bare canvas at the same time.

Assuming the artist didn’t take a current portrait, then pain “SHIT” on it in orange and submit it here to get it sold.

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Nov 18, 2009
3:08 pm
#28 i am bean :

I just showed it to my husband and he said: “what a load of pretentious art bollocks!” (made me laugh)

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Nov 18, 2009
3:10 pm
#29 Efit :

I love this! I WANT!!!!! (if the MOBA doesn’t nab it first)

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Nov 18, 2009
3:11 pm
#30 Bad_Wolf :

I’m so amused that one buyer’s comment was “Definitely worth the small amount I paid for it!” Was this intended as a compliment?

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Nov 18, 2009
3:14 pm
#31 AnnetteCurtain :

I have it on good authority that it’s not just horses that suffer from Tourettes.

Elephants are prone to outbursts that contain such filth it would make a pig’s tail curl.

TITWANKSHITTERY

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Nov 18, 2009
3:19 pm
#32 beachapeeater :

The only thing worse than the picture is that the teacher is reading Twilight to those kids. And she’s holding it up like a picture book…

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Nov 18, 2009
3:21 pm
#33 Avivafae :

Remember those word/picture puzzles people gave out as a kid?
The word shit should come under the horse’s head.. then it would be an accurate description. “Horse Shit”.

Oh.. and I love how they spelled Original as Orginal.. Or were they spelling it that way cause the horse was in the middle of a barnyard orgy at the time.. hence the anime-ish excitement lines in the background and the look of surprise on the horse’s face???

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Nov 18, 2009
3:25 pm
#34 poisonlake :

This is the weirdest James Joyce reference I’ve ever encountered.

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Nov 18, 2009
3:31 pm
#35 Helen Killer :

Photoshop!!

By the way, there are three Photoshops in this picture.

CAN YOU FIND THEM ALL?

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Nov 18, 2009
3:33 pm
#36 Lexiii :

Is it that poster in the background? Can’t read it though.

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Nov 18, 2009
3:35 pm
#37 i am bean :

is it one of the kids…they all look strangely ’stepford’ to me???

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Nov 18, 2009
3:40 pm
#38 Stingray Charles :

#24 Bean:
A horse is a horse, of course, of course,
And horses will never talk shit, of course
That is, of course, unless the horse expresses himself openly.

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Nov 18, 2009
3:41 pm
#39 quantuminsanity :

You’ve photoshopped the twilight book into that photo haven’t you? Haven’t you…? Please tell me you have…

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Nov 18, 2009
3:42 pm
#40 quantuminsanity :

oh haha now I see your comment above. I assume the three photoshops are the book, the painting, and the ‘magnicifent’ poster.

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Nov 18, 2009
3:42 pm
#41 artistamuerta :

http://www.regretsy.com/2009/10/27/covno-me/
baha
Helen, stop making the kids think they’re special.

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Nov 18, 2009
3:44 pm
#42 i am bean :

the horse is better looking than the teacher!

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Nov 18, 2009
3:47 pm
#43 Helen Killer :

I’m so proud of all of you.

By the way, we’re up to $36.

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Nov 18, 2009
3:47 pm
#44 NinjaGato :

That looks like something my 9 year old nephew would paint…minus the SHIT because he’s a good boy (unlike his auntie- who is not a good boy) Seriously with 5 nieces and nephews I could be in etsy hog heaven if I could get my mitts on pictures they’ve drawn…just come up with a self important title and an even more self important description and charge a buttload and I’m rich biatch!

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Nov 18, 2009
3:53 pm
#45 jenny :

One of the tags is “children.”

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Nov 18, 2009
3:55 pm
#46 jeffreyrcarey :

Genius, pure genius.

I’m referring to Helen and all of you other funny people, obviously. The picture is a bunch of manure!

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Nov 18, 2009
3:55 pm
#47 ohdearydearyme :

awww – I thought I was gonna be the the first to spot the poster…. darn it… maybe I’ll console myself with some impulse bidding..

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Nov 18, 2009
3:59 pm
#48 martini :

Photoshop is not a verb.

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Nov 18, 2009
4:01 pm
#49 Helen Killer :

Sure it is.

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Nov 18, 2009
4:02 pm
#50 blackcat :

What a steal at only $130!!

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Nov 18, 2009
4:05 pm
#51 jeffreyrcarey :

Hey, #35, you cheat; you get to make bold text in your comments.

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Nov 18, 2009
4:05 pm
#52 martini :

No… Photoshop is a image editing program.

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Nov 18, 2009
4:06 pm
#53 ohdearydearyme :

haha – $41…

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Nov 18, 2009
4:11 pm
#54 Cold Salt :

Probably worried squirrel blood lady is going to expand her oeuvre.

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Nov 18, 2009
4:13 pm
#55 ohdearydearyme :

Doesn’t oeuvre mean egg? Or am I thinking about something else?

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Nov 18, 2009
4:14 pm
#56 NinjaGato :

I found the photoshops.
1. obviously the painting is photoshopped in.
2. the book
3. you removed the paperbag from the teachers head.

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Nov 18, 2009
4:15 pm
#57 NinjaGato :

It sold.

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Nov 18, 2009
4:16 pm
#58 martini :

SHIT!

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Nov 18, 2009
4:18 pm
#59 ohdearydearyme :

darn it! Was going to buy for DH…

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Nov 18, 2009
4:21 pm
#60 NinjaGato :

wait false alarm. however a copy of it sold in april.

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Nov 18, 2009
4:22 pm
#61 jeffreyrcarey :

#60, Somebody spent their tax refund on this gem.

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Nov 18, 2009
4:22 pm
#62 NinjaGato :

Helen, did you also photoshop sheer disinterest into those children’s faces? Because if you did that is quality work ma’am

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Nov 18, 2009
4:23 pm
#63 NinjaGato :

jeffreyrcarey- a well funded idiot is still an idiot

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Nov 18, 2009
4:24 pm
#64 Helen Killer :

The paper bag comment made me laugh and laugh.

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Nov 18, 2009
4:29 pm
#65 martini :

Put… back… the… bag.

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Nov 18, 2009
4:31 pm
#66 NinjaGato :

good, I aim to please

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Nov 18, 2009
4:31 pm
#67 everydaymama :

Helen needs to do a type of “Where’s Waldo” pic with this called “Where’s the Shitty Horse”.

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Nov 18, 2009
4:31 pm
#68 jeffreyrcarey :

NinjaGato – Indeed. Although, could be deductible as an educational expense for next year.

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Nov 18, 2009
4:35 pm
#69 NinjaGato :

I see a Regretsy children’s book in the Helen’s future.
Fugly preschool teachers worldwide could read snarky comments to disinterested students.

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Nov 18, 2009
4:41 pm
#70 Brie :

I love this painting so much. Just need to move that decimal one over to the left – and it would be mine all mine. sh*t is right!

Twilight is an awesome touch too – signed, Jacob loves cougars

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Nov 18, 2009
4:45 pm
#71 Lexiii :

From Dictionary.com:

photoshop (v.)

“to edit an image using a computer program,” 1992, originally in ref. to Photoshop, a bitmap graphics editor trademarked and published by Adobe, released in 1990.

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Nov 18, 2009
4:49 pm
#72 GoldieHawn :

I would totally buy this is it weren’t $130.

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Nov 18, 2009
4:54 pm
#73 Petite :

oeuvre means artwork but also the work you did. Like the work of a whole life.
Egg: oeuf

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Nov 18, 2009
5:10 pm
#74 LizardsJewelry :

@ #29 Efit and #72 GoldieHawn

Me too!! I want this, I have horses that’s what they do – shit all the time and they make me say “shit” plus other select words.

Ahhh if only it wasn’t $130 bucks, it would be hanging in my office down in the barn! Maybe they would trade some jewelry for it.

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Nov 18, 2009
5:15 pm
#75 martini :

#71 Lexiii : SHIT!

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Nov 18, 2009
5:16 pm
#76 ohdearydearyme :

@#73 – cheers – I knew I couldn’t be right…

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Nov 18, 2009
5:41 pm
#77 bingthing :

JUST saw the teacher’s book. WHAAAAAAH!

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Nov 18, 2009
7:04 pm
#78 VoteAudrey :

I love honesty in art.

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Nov 18, 2009
7:05 pm
#79 moi :

I hope along with everyone else that the twilight book is PS’d in! Along with the magnicifant picture and the painting. =)

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Nov 18, 2009
7:27 pm
#80 ilhu :

SERIOUS LOL
i just came back from a very long, shitty school day and saw THIS. if i knew that everyday i would be coming home to this hanging in my room, i think everything would turn out ok.

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Nov 18, 2009
7:31 pm
#81 quantuminsanity :

#48 you work for Adobe don’t you?
Photoshop is widely used as a verb. Much like google, which as of 2006 was officially added to the oxford dictionary. :p

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Nov 18, 2009
8:55 pm
#82 Placebo :

I find the fact that the same person can both know James Joyce and paint this incomprehensible

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Nov 18, 2009
8:59 pm
#83 thatdingo :

It’s one inch thick.

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Nov 18, 2009
9:19 pm
#84 Thistle :

doesnt anyone else find it odd that golda meier is reading to these kids? http://www.xmission.com/~emailbox/barry/gb9.jpg

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Nov 18, 2009
9:31 pm
#85 personalearthquake :

it looks like the puppet in the far right is trying to leave the room….

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Nov 19, 2009
2:02 am
#86 artandghosts :

i kinda love this.

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Nov 19, 2009
6:06 am
#87 Tabbie :

Do young men who resemble horses usually express themselves by saying “SHIT”?
Is this supposed to represent his self-loathing or what?

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Nov 19, 2009
6:26 am
#88 beqi :

Thank you for reminding me not to drink anything and click “View in a Room”.

Excuse me while I go get some paper towels and a new shirt.

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Nov 19, 2009
6:54 am
#89 AnneMarie :

Yes I argee with the artist this painting is SHIT.

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Nov 19, 2009
8:41 am
#90 tabbycat2482 :

not sure whats more disturbing, that picture in the room or that woman reading Twilight to those kids i hope you edited that in there.

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Nov 19, 2009
9:23 am
#91 jamie :

HAHAHHAHHA that painting and the title of the painting are BRILLIANT.

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Nov 19, 2009
9:30 am
#92 spareGus :

I have to say it, I love it. It seems I often disagree about the ‘bad’ art that makes it onto this blog. Of course, that could explain why I hardly sell any myself!

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Nov 19, 2009
11:42 am
#93 krystyna81 :

Totally laughed out loud at #12.

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Nov 19, 2009
12:36 pm
#94 martini :

#81 quantuminsanity : No. I’m in no way affiliated with Adobe… But I am a photographer and an art director “You can just photoshop that, right?’ Guess how many frikin’ times I hear that in a day? Yes, I know it’s a futile battle, but one that needs to be fought just the same. Curse you David Blatner and your spawn. No disrespect to you Helen, or my fellow regresyers…

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Nov 19, 2009
2:29 pm
#95 martini :

End of rant…

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Nov 19, 2009
2:36 pm
#96 Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell :

Hug

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Nov 19, 2009
4:15 pm
#97 Calophi :

#92: So you would pay $130 for that? o.O

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Nov 19, 2009
4:23 pm
#98 ourephemera :

I wish I had 130$ for this. I mean. I really wish I did. DOES SHE SELL PRINTS?! My sister would fucking love this!

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Nov 19, 2009
10:10 pm
#99 ennuisans :

Glad to hear this sold. Now it’s ready to be hung like a horse.

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Nov 20, 2009
2:45 pm
#100 Dix :

Where do people get these ideas??

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Nov 20, 2009
6:21 pm
#101 crapgawker :

Oh Lordy – put that ugly thing out to pasture.

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Nov 21, 2009
12:22 am
#102 pants :

Oh, my god…

This nearly made me piss my pants.

Thanks.

: D

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Nov 24, 2009
12:39 am
#103 snarkeygirl :

I think I want to own this. What is wrong with me?

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Nov 24, 2009
10:11 pm
#104 uptowngirl :

This painting expresses my feelings about James Joyce perfectly.

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Nov 27, 2009
8:59 pm
#105 Recovering Crack Baby :

$130.00 sounds like a bunch of horse shit to me.

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Nov 28, 2009
8:01 am
#106 BettyMachete :

Mayhaps the Horse was looking at glue bottles and expresssing his feelings?

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Dec 1, 2009
11:57 am
#107 Simone :

Seriously I have to get this
and carry it around

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