When it’s that bad, why not just call it “shelly” or something and call it a day? Because then us assholes will never notice that it doesn’t look a thing like the person it’s supposed to be rendering in portrait… just a helpful artist’s tip.
I just don’t get what the other parts are supposed to be… Are those some sort of strange misshapen breasts, or a wierd shoulder hump? I don’t get it. It looks like a face, arm and hand, floating on some strange alien body… wierd…
No, no, no. This isn’t John Travolta, there are no visible hairplugs or toupee line. One if the Willis girls, maybe?
The light source is so strange. Looks like the artist used his own “flash.” And what’s the “A4″ for in the description? Some kind of code to sink this battleship? Or…the forth in a series???
His other work is much better. Although his Scott Weiland looks like Christian Slater.
But totally my first thought was, OK, fine, a face can be difficult to do realistically, but WTF is with the body, or lack thereof? I think, on looking more closely, she’s supposed to be in bed with a sheet on her, but I shouldn’t have to interpolate that. It should be apparent.
Why on earth do these people try to sell their first attempts in new media? This is called practice, not a finished work.
“When it’s that bad, why not just call it “shelly” or something and call it a day? Because then us assholes will never notice that it doesn’t look a thing like the person it’s supposed to be rendering in portrait… just a helpful artist’s tip.”
Should I sell my first “stab” at knitting a blanket 4 years ago? I only missed a few dozen stitches and ran out of coordinating yarn half way through… My cat likes to sleep on it so the black cat hair really adds to the finished look!
I can’t believe you are all so heartless. Clearly it’s a very serious rendering of Winona Ryder as if she were afflicted with Stage IV Ear-Boob Syndrome, meant to draw much needed attention to the little understood, but ultimately deadly, disease which is known to cause shoplifting, poor choices in romantic partners, and giant boobs sprouting out of the side of one’s head.
@#34: thanks for the insight! I actually must admit I think the painting is at least a little better than I thought it was before now that I can see the sheet … but what’s with the grey “V” area in the middle?
On a side note, regardless of skill level, this guy’s drawings clearly take some time, yet it appears he’s selling originals for 20 bucks? That’s about 11 pounds sterling. Perhaps he’s desperate to get them out of his house.
This is one of the things that Etsy has done to art and to the marketplace — devalued it to the point where someone feels he can sell his first “stab” at watercolour, no matter what it looks like. So bad.
#58 – I almost referenced Tim Curry at first too, but I figured it was just my insatiable love (and recent watching of Rocky Horror) that made me want to see Tim Curry in everything.
November 17, 2009 at 1:23 pm
lets hope for our sake that his first stab at watercolor is his last.
November 17, 2009 at 1:24 pm
I never knew Winona was a cousin of Michael Jackson.
November 17, 2009 at 1:25 pm
See, #2, I was thinking more John Travolta. Something about the mouth I think…
November 17, 2009 at 1:26 pm
yes…the likeness is…uncanny.
November 17, 2009 at 1:27 pm
Ah, #3 – you beat me with the John Travolta reference. That’s the first thing I thought before I saw the title. I think it’s in the eyebrows…
November 17, 2009 at 1:27 pm
Think she’s related to this one http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=34472087 — and don’t know about the rest of you all but my first thought was “Perry Farrell, with bigger boobs.”
November 17, 2009 at 1:32 pm
You want realism for $20?!!
Sheesh.
p
x
November 17, 2009 at 1:35 pm
“No, I’m a Veronica… Sawyer.”
November 17, 2009 at 1:37 pm
When it’s that bad, why not just call it “shelly” or something and call it a day? Because then us assholes will never notice that it doesn’t look a thing like the person it’s supposed to be rendering in portrait… just a helpful artist’s tip.
November 17, 2009 at 1:38 pm
Fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Winona Ryder?
November 17, 2009 at 1:42 pm
Separated at birth?
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=31183167
and…
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/227/523886644_5c64737c60_b.jpg
November 17, 2009 at 1:43 pm
#10 Efit- you certainly sound like her.
p
x
November 17, 2009 at 1:51 pm
Kudos to #3 Hawkeye! John Travolta was my first thought, too. It has a very Vinnie Barbarino-esque quality that will forever haunt my dreams…
November 17, 2009 at 1:51 pm
Just viewed room with a view and read the comments….gotta go and change my Depends
November 17, 2009 at 2:00 pm
“One of my very first stabs at watercolours.” Must have taken out an eye or two.
November 17, 2009 at 2:01 pm
I just don’t get what the other parts are supposed to be… Are those some sort of strange misshapen breasts, or a wierd shoulder hump? I don’t get it. It looks like a face, arm and hand, floating on some strange alien body… wierd…
November 17, 2009 at 2:02 pm
#14 martini :
“One of my very first stabs at watercolours.” Must have taken out an eye or two.’
wan-eye-na ryder?
No?
p
x
November 17, 2009 at 2:05 pm
When does Winona Ryder = amorphous flesh-colored one armed blob?
I guess I missed the memo…
November 17, 2009 at 2:18 pm
2 words… amy winehouse
November 17, 2009 at 2:23 pm
Nice view in a room, Helen. I think it captures Winona’s distress beautifully. She’ll probably be shoplifting again to soothe her nerves.
November 17, 2009 at 2:26 pm
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=34472263
Think we’ve got a little bit of a crush going on Winona. I like this one. I never knew Winona had a wonky eye.
November 17, 2009 at 2:34 pm
#19 That sketch also has a bizarre interpretation of body parts. It looks like her left arm has been amputated at the elbow.
These pieces boast about as much talent as my high school art class.
November 17, 2009 at 2:45 pm
First stab at watercolor? Some one stab me now and get me out of my misery!
November 17, 2009 at 2:58 pm
The real question is… where is her shoulder??!?
November 17, 2009 at 3:01 pm
I thought it was the lovechild of Parker Stevenson and The Gloved One!
November 17, 2009 at 3:01 pm
Or maybe John Travolta in the Kotter era?
November 17, 2009 at 3:01 pm
View in a room…A+++++!
November 17, 2009 at 3:04 pm
I actually thought Kelly McGillis from Top Gun. With a dye job. I think it’s the tragically angry looking eyebrows.
November 17, 2009 at 3:08 pm
This looks like a lemon with a head attached. Did Winona lose her legs and I never heard about it?
November 17, 2009 at 3:18 pm
#3,26: Yes, this reminds me of the young brooding Travolta in The Boy in the Plastic Bubble. Man, he had great hair.
November 17, 2009 at 3:24 pm
No, no, no. This isn’t John Travolta, there are no visible hairplugs or toupee line. One if the Willis girls, maybe?
The light source is so strange. Looks like the artist used his own “flash.” And what’s the “A4″ for in the description? Some kind of code to sink this battleship? Or…the forth in a series???
His other work is much better. Although his Scott Weiland looks like Christian Slater.
November 17, 2009 at 3:28 pm
#31 sillymerricat:
No. His Scott Weiland looks like a baby baboon. (ref #11)
November 17, 2009 at 3:40 pm
It’s the wife of the hunch back of noteredam.
November 17, 2009 at 3:45 pm
#31 A4 is a size of paper.
But totally my first thought was, OK, fine, a face can be difficult to do realistically, but WTF is with the body, or lack thereof? I think, on looking more closely, she’s supposed to be in bed with a sheet on her, but I shouldn’t have to interpolate that. It should be apparent.
Why on earth do these people try to sell their first attempts in new media? This is called practice, not a finished work.
November 17, 2009 at 3:47 pm
#6 yeah, when I’m in that position I’m waiting for a dragon alright.
November 17, 2009 at 4:01 pm
@#9 sar-sar :
“When it’s that bad, why not just call it “shelly” or something and call it a day? Because then us assholes will never notice that it doesn’t look a thing like the person it’s supposed to be rendering in portrait… just a helpful artist’s tip.”
Yes, but we’d still notice the hunchback.
November 17, 2009 at 4:04 pm
#29 jojo: You cracked the code! Winona once dated Evan Dando of The Lemonheads! Brilliant!
November 17, 2009 at 4:12 pm
Should I sell my first “stab” at knitting a blanket 4 years ago? I only missed a few dozen stitches and ran out of coordinating yarn half way through… My cat likes to sleep on it so the black cat hair really adds to the finished look!
November 17, 2009 at 4:14 pm
What is going on here?
November 17, 2009 at 4:48 pm
…ergh
November 17, 2009 at 5:09 pm
I was thinking Tranny Dylan McDermott.
November 17, 2009 at 5:35 pm
Do any sellers on Etsy happen to have a whopping supply of Perspective or Anatomy on hand? Because someone needs a little.
The room view? Absolute classic.
November 17, 2009 at 5:58 pm
I just glanced at this and my first thought was “wtf ANOTHER Prince painting?”
November 17, 2009 at 6:28 pm
#34- There’s a sheet? I’m so confused…
November 17, 2009 at 7:48 pm
I can’t believe you are all so heartless. Clearly it’s a very serious rendering of Winona Ryder as if she were afflicted with Stage IV Ear-Boob Syndrome, meant to draw much needed attention to the little understood, but ultimately deadly, disease which is known to cause shoplifting, poor choices in romantic partners, and giant boobs sprouting out of the side of one’s head.
November 17, 2009 at 7:57 pm
it looks like a man-whore
November 17, 2009 at 8:06 pm
I just really want to know why they thought that a 5-O’clock shadow would set the picture apart as one of Winona.
November 17, 2009 at 8:49 pm
In some countries, they cut your hands off for painting shit like this.
If Howard Stern got a bad haircut, he wouldn’t look this ugly.
November 17, 2009 at 9:25 pm
“Stage IV Ear-Boob Syndrome” indeed.
there was an infinitely better likeness of her in the South Park movie.
November 17, 2009 at 9:57 pm
@#34: thanks for the insight! I actually must admit I think the painting is at least a little better than I thought it was before now that I can see the sheet … but what’s with the grey “V” area in the middle?
November 17, 2009 at 9:58 pm
p.s. Runaway Lawyer = FUNNY
November 17, 2009 at 10:34 pm
#21 – that reminds me of Shannen Doherty. She prefers to tilt her head a bit to offset a certain facial feature.
http://www.bergproperties.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/shannen_doherty.jpg
It’s to hide the wonk-eye. My innocent self only figured this out recently.
November 17, 2009 at 11:09 pm
I think that would be a great model for one of those reborn babies…..
November 18, 2009 at 12:26 am
John Travolta crossed with a fur seal.. arf arf arf
November 18, 2009 at 7:49 am
Did anyone see this one?
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=34464055
What’s up with her breasts?
November 18, 2009 at 9:22 am
“What’s up with her breasts?”
Looks like they’re having a fight and not speaking to each other.
November 18, 2009 at 11:16 am
Yeah, and the one on her right is sliding right off her body.
November 18, 2009 at 11:25 am
I’m the only one who saw Tim Curry? http://media.photobucket.com/image/tim%20curry/dawzim/TimCurry.jpg
On a side note, regardless of skill level, this guy’s drawings clearly take some time, yet it appears he’s selling originals for 20 bucks? That’s about 11 pounds sterling. Perhaps he’s desperate to get them out of his house.
November 18, 2009 at 11:57 am
This is one of the things that Etsy has done to art and to the marketplace — devalued it to the point where someone feels he can sell his first “stab” at watercolour, no matter what it looks like. So bad.
November 18, 2009 at 1:07 pm
#s 5, 13, 30 – so glad I wasn’t the only one!!
#58 – I almost referenced Tim Curry at first too, but I figured it was just my insatiable love (and recent watching of Rocky Horror) that made me want to see Tim Curry in everything.
November 18, 2009 at 1:20 pm
Since when does Winona Ryder have a five o-clock shadow?
November 18, 2009 at 4:27 pm
here’s a much better drawing of michael jackson… erm I mean winona…
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=34464024
November 19, 2009 at 7:05 am
#59
I couldn’t agree more.
November 22, 2009 at 1:30 am
Why does she look like Michael Hutchence?
January 24, 2011 at 10:59 pm
Wow. Before I read the title I was positive that was Michael Jackson.
May 14, 2011 at 3:20 am
it looks more like Michael Jackson on 2018, if he was still alive..